Against All Odds
by SkyChasingDreamer
Summary: This picks up where the series leaves off. An unlikely relationship forms between the beloved rat and the detested cat. Both become lost in a web of confusion and overpowering emotions as their bond forms and their world threatens to break out under them.
1. Chapter 1

**_Title: Against All Odds_**

**Pairing: Yuki/Kyo**

**Info: This fic picks up right at the end of Fruits Basket. It's what happens as a sort of aftermath. The story after the story ends. And the POV will change.**

**_Big thank you to rjafan010 for going through and beta reading these old chapters._**

**_Rating: T to M to NC17_**

**CHAPTER ONE**

**YUKI**

Yuki reluctantly got out of bed, cringing as he put his warm feet on the cold wood floor. He could hear Shigure spewing his usual nonsense down below, but there was something off about it, some familiar element missing. Then it hit him. Kyo's angry voice should've been ringing out to silence Shigure's incessant ramblings. Yuki strained to pick up any semblance of the Cat's easily riled temper, but there was nothing. As a matter of fact, now that he thought about it, the Cat hadn't lost his temper since Tohru had brought him back that fateful night.

Yuki thought he'd be glad that the Cat's angry yowls weren't annoying him so early in the morning.

But he wasn't.

Not at all.

This new Kyo was so... unnatural.

Foreign.

Yuki missed the old Kyo. He sighed in defeat. Damnation! He really did miss the old Kyo. He missed the way his enemy used to be!

Of course, he'd never admit that out loud to anyone. Especially not to Kyo.

Standing up, he reached as high as he could, stretching his pale, slender body. His back cracked pleasantly a few times before he relaxed and began looking for some clothes. The majority of his clothes were dirty due to the fact that Tohru hadn't gotten around to doing his laundry. He rummaged around in his closet until he found a suitable shirt that still smelled fresh. Ridding himself of his pajamas, he slipped the shirt on along with a pair of khaki pants.

After combing a hand through his sleep-ruffled hair to make it presentable, Yuki left his room to head downstairs. The closer he got to the kitchen, the louder Shigure's exuberant voice got. In his opinion, it was **_far_** too early for such shenanigans.

Upon entering the kitchen, he spotted Tohru finishing up breakfast, Shigure parading about the room like an idiot.

"Ah, good morning, Yuki!" The dog zodiac greeted in the same boisterous fashion as before.

"Morning, Miss Honda," Yuki said, completely ignoring Shigure out of sheer annoyance.

Tohru turned around and gave a little bow, "Morning! Breakfast is almost done!"

"Need any help?"

"Oh no, no, no, no! I can handle it. It's only breakfast after all," she said, dismissively waving her hands in front of her.

Yuki dipped his head in acknowledgment, "Very well. I'll wait in the dining area then."

He left the kitchen just as Shigure began his obsessive cooing. Upon entering the dining area, the first thing his violet eyes fell on was Kyo's form sitting idly at the table. Yuki froze at the sight of the other who, at that moment, was staring intently at his near empty glass of milk.

"Hey," Yuki breathed to break the silence.

_And to hear Kyo's voice._

Yuki mentally flinched, cursing the passing thought the instant it went through his head.

It was only then that Kyo looked up, as if just noticing that he was no longer alone. Yuki's stomach tightened at the look on Kyo's face, his red eyes unreadable and hooded by stray locks of his fiery bangs. There was something strangely alluring about him. And all he was doing was sitting there. Yuki noticed Kyo's black and white beaded bracelet had been placed resolutely back on his wrist.

"Hey, Rat," Kyo replied before returning his attention back to the glass of milk.

Yuki seated himself in his usual place across from the Cat. Kyo just hadn't been himself. It had been like this for a couple days now, ever since Shishou had taken Kyo's bracelet off. That day had been a dark one, its aftermath still affecting their lives even now. Shigure and Tohru pretty much tried to ignore it to the best of their ability, especially Shigure. Yuki himself had even attempted to ignore it, but the effort was really beginning to wear him down. Tohru was trying her hardest to cheer the somber Kyo up, but she could only do so much. Kyo hadn't been responding to anything, really.

Yuki couldn't even remember the last time Kyo had challenged him to a fight. It wasn't so much the fighting itself that Yuki missed, but rather the familiarity of it. He had gotten so used to their constant bickering, that he almost expected a fight on a regular basis.

But that had all stopped.

"Kyo...?"

"Hmm?" Kyo responded as he picked up his glass, downing its contents in one swift gulp.

"I-…"

Pause.

"Yes?" Kyo prompted in an unusually quiet tone, all the vibrant life and vitality that had once permeated the atmosphere around him was nowhere to be found.

_I miss how you were before, the things that made you you. Your amusing stupidity. Your impetuous, obnoxious nature. Your..._

_..._

_Damn it! What the hell am I thinking?_

Yuki opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. Honestly, what could he say? He had spoken on impulse, not entirely thinking it through.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

Kyo set the glass back down and looked at Yuki expectantly, swiping the back of his hand across his mouth to wipe away any excess liquid.

Yuki gaped at Kyo, violet eyes riveted to the impassive red ones focused on him. Kyo seemed to be as entranced as he was, but he didn't know whether or not to accredit that spark of captivation to his imagination.

Luckily, Shigure's flamboyant entrance into the dining room broke their impromptu staring contest. Yuki felt an unwilling blush color his cheeks as he turned his gaze to the table, refusing to look at Kyo.

_Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?_ Yuki thought in complete desperation. He'd never had such strange feeling churning in his gut before.

"Just wait until you taste the delicious meal our little Tohru has so lovingly made for us!" Shigure basically sang as he took a seat next to Yuki.

Kyo let out a heavy sigh. "None for me."

Shigure's expression was one of utter shock. "You dare miss one of Tohru's meals?"

Kyo stood up with a grunt—the noise causing Yuki's stomach to flutter and another blush to flare across his cheeks—and headed out to the porch. Yuki suddenly felt short of breath and had to work at keeping his breathing under control.

_When did _that_ happen?_

"Oh, no! Is Kyo okay? Is he not feeling well? Is that why he doesn't want anything to eat?" Tohru panicked, having heard the whole thing when she'd come in with the food.

"Don't worry, Miss Honda," Yuki soothed as best he could. "Kyo will be fine."

_I'll see to that,_ Yuki thought to himself, his fists clenching in determination.

**To Be Continued**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

**KYO**

Kyo had only slept for about two hours before his eyes opened to a still darkened room. It was typical for the Cat to awaken before dawn. Cats were nocturnal by nature, after all. He hadn't been ready to wake up though. He hadn't gotten more than a few hours of sleep in days.

He tossed and turned in bed, trying in vain to ease his mind back into the welcoming embrace of slumber. It was no use. There was no way he'd be going back to sleep now.

_Yet another hopeless endeavor._

Sighing, Kyo got out of bed through sheer force of will. He didn't bother turning on the light; there was no point. He preferred to remain in darkness since the light hurt his eyes.

Kyo snatched up the first clean clothes he could find and, after changing, headed up to the roof. It was his private place, the only sanctuary he had that allowed him to escape reality…at least for a little while. Going up to the roof had always allowed him time to reflect, to get away from it all, but no longer – there was no such mercy for him anymore.

Kyo gazed up at the sky, the slowly fading stars offering him a bit of solace. They shimmered radiantly, their brilliance not strong enough to blind him, so unlike the light of day. He could watch them glitter forever, never having to shield his face from their light. He would never have to hide for fear of being ridiculed, of being stripped of his confidence, of being denounced as worthless. Daylight didn't afford him such a luxury. He could never shroud himself where daylight reigned.

Normally at dawn, Kyo went to the dojo, or out for a run in order to burn off some of his endless supply of energy. He wasn't in the mood today. He really wasn't in the mood for much of anything. Kyo felt like he was living a lie, like he was only a shell of his former self. And it hurt him. It was slowly eating away at his mind and body. He was exhausted, depleted, sapped of everything that he once was.

Kyo stayed up on the roof, even after the sun had risen to obscure the moon from his view. He closed his eyes, bathing in the sun's vibrant rays.

But not even the sun could warm how cold his heart had become.

He didn't leave the roof until the relentless growls his stomach made became unbearable. Had he not been so hungry, he would have lain there all day. That's how much he didn't feel like moving anymore.

Kyo was so numb now that he could block out Shigure's foolish rants entirely when he set foot in the house. The "good morning" he offered Tohru after she'd greeted him heartily came out as more of a grunt than anything else. But he couldn't feel enough to care. He didn't even care about himself anymore.

Before heading into the dining area, Kyo grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it to the brim with milk. He said nothing to Shigure, even as the Dog prattled on about some triviality. He took a sip of his ice-cold beverage as he sat down at the table. The thick, smooth liquid took the harsh edge off his hunger, but it didn't eliminate it in the slightest. He took another couple of swigs, trying to drown the grumbling, snarling monster in his gut.

Kyo thought he heard the distant sound of a door opening and shutting, but he couldn't be sure. He was in a trance. Lost in his thoughts. Oblivious to the world. Thinking was something he normally refrained from doing. Now it seemed like all he could do. The bracelet on his wrist caused tremors of pain, regret, sadness, loneliness and guilt to shoot through him.

He was trapped in his mind, unable to escape the haunting murmurs of the dark, desolate, self-loathing thoughts that whispered across his mind.

He was the Cat.

Spat on.

Rejected.

All he did was hurt people.

And now he was alone.

So dreadfully alone...

"Hey."

A sweet, supple voice broke through Kyo's clouded, self-deprecating thoughts. It had been faint, but for some reason, it had the undeniable power to reach him.

He almost reluctantly looked up from his near empty cup of milk to meet Yuki's violet gaze. Kyo looked at the Rat and took in his appraising demeanor, almost as if he was searching for something he couldn't find. Usually, Kyo would have gotten angry or defensive. But now... now he hardly cared.

"Hey, Rat," Kyo replied before forcing himself to turn his attention back to his glass. Truth be told, he could have continued looking at Yuki. There was something so…different about him this morning compared to any other. When Yuki sat down across from him, the Cat had to force himself to focus on the glass at the glass.

Kyo began to slip back into the dark realm of his mind when the most unexpected thing happened.

"Kyo...?"

The Cat had to compel himself not to move or react. Yuki had sounded so uncertain. So _gentle_. Yuki never sounded like that! Yuki was the collected one, perfectly composed and efficient in everything he did. That's what made him such an awesome opponent. Kyo had secretly enjoyed fighting the Rat for quite some time, but now he couldn't bring himself to.

He didn't deserve Yuki's attention.

He was the worthless Cat.

There was no way there had been any trace of warmth in Yuki's voice.

_I must have just imagined it, _Kyo thought to himself in absolute certainty.

"Hmm," Kyo responded, picking up his glass of milk to finish it swiftly. He didn't trust himself to speak.

"I...-"

Kyo knew he hadn't imagined it this time. There was definitely something warm, almost kind in Yuki's faint and uncharacteristically unsure voice. Those violet eyes were piercing and undeniably attractive as they sparkled in the early morning light.

"Yes?" Kyo prompted quietly, wanting to hear Yuki speak again.

The compassionate look in Yuki's eyes deepened briefly as he opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Kyo's heart stopped in his chest. He was _so___close to hearing the Rat's voice again. Those violet eyes darkened with that odd compassion again before suddenly snapping back to the way they normally were: hidden behind Yuki's carefully constructed shield.

Kyo wanted to break the silence to try and prompt Yuki to speak again. Maybe by talking he could get the Rat to come back out from behind his walls. But, hard as he tried, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Using the back of his hand, he wiped away any extra milk that might have slipped on to his face. Their gazes continued to bore into each other, eyes never once glancing away. Kyo was so entranced that he hardly noticed the fact that Yuki was still gaping at him.

Much to his disappointment, Shigure's loud appearance into the dining room broke their connection apart with ease. When Yuki looked down at the table, Kyo's breath caught in his throat. Yuki was blushing. The blush was faint, but there was no mistaking its presence. It was definitely there. Kyo felt a blush of his own appearing unbidden across his face.

_What is my problem? I'm nothing. I can never let myself get close to anyone. Nobody would want a broken Cat..._

"Just wait until you taste the delicious meal our little Tohru has so lovingly made for us!" Shigure trilled in his usual fashion as he went to sit next to Yuki.

A stab of jealousy suddenly zinged through Kyo's whole body making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end at its intensity. It had been so unexpected that Kyo had been thrown completely off guard.

His stomach suddenly snarled again as the enticing aroma of Tohru's meal hit his sensitive nose. He was so hungry!

_You don't deserve such kindness._

The voice wasn't his own this time. His mother's face flashed before his eyes. He bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood in order to keep a shudder at bay.

_It's all my fault. _

"None for me," Kyo said with a sigh after he'd regained control of himself.

"You dare miss one of Tohru's meals?" Shigure accused, shock lining every feature on his face.

_It's all my fault._

The same thought struck Kyo just as he was standing, causing an unavoidable grunt to pass through his lips as he tried not to fall back, his legs having suddenly weakened. He quickly left for the porch. He needed to get outside, clear his head. He was drowning and he couldn't find his way back to the surface to breathe.

"Oh, no! Is Kyo okay? Is he not feeling well? Is that why he doesn't want anything to eat?"

Kyo could hear Tohru panicking through the thin walls that separated them. He didn't deserve her kindness either.

"Don't worry, Miss Honda," he heard Yuki say not sounding at all like he had earlier, his composure back in place. "Kyo will be fine."

_No, I won't,_ Kyo thought as he headed for the woods.

He was broken, beaten, and hurting. Kyo ignored his growling stomach, putting distance between him and Tohru's food so he wouldn't be tempted to go back and eat. This would be his punishment.

_I'll waste away until there's nothing left._

Because in his own mind he was exactly that: nothing.

**To Be continued**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**YUKI**

"Well, Kyo certainly missed a delicious meal! Oh, well, his loss!" Shigure chimed when everyone had finished eating.

"I set some food aside for him for when he gets back. I'll put it in the fridge for now," Tohru said as she grabbed some of the dirty dishes to bring to the kitchen.

I began to gather the dirty dishes as well, but froze when I reached for Kyo's forgotten milk glass.

"Oh, Tohru, you're such a saint! You're much too kind! I don't know how we ever survived without you!"

I barely heard Shigure's blatant flattery as I forced myself to pick up Kyo's glass. There were still beads of condensation on the outside of it and the water made the glass slick causing it to slip from my hand. I caught it before it hit the floor thanks to my martial arts-honed reflexes. I followed Tohru into the kitchen and set the dishes in the sink, trying to tune out Shigure's annoying squabbles.

Purely out of habit, I set to helping Tohru tackle the mess. The Dog on the other hand, being the loyal creature that he was, never failed to faithfully disappear right around the time clean-up started. He gave the term "eat and run" a whole new meaning.

"Thank you for the meal, Miss Honda. It truly was one of your best," I said to break the silence that had fallen between us.

She became instantly flustered. "Oh, no, no. Well, thank you, but it was nothing really!"

I smiled as kindly as I could while my mind was otherwise occupied. I was barely able to concentrate on such a simple task as drying the dishes.

"Kyo sure was acting strange earlier, wasn't he?"

The sound of his name snapped me out of my little funk. I wanted to say that Kyo hadn't been acting off or weird earlier, that she was just imagining things, but there was no denying it, not even to ease Tohru's troubled concern.

Then, I had an idea. It was far-fetched and a touch out of character for me, but I wanted to give it a try nonetheless.

"What if I have a talk with him when he gets back? Would that make you feel better?"

She finished putting away the last clean dish. "Oh yes! That would be great, perfect actually. It would really make me happy. But... umm..."

"Yes, Miss Honda? What is it?"

"Will you promise me something?"

"Of course, you name it."

She fidgeted uneasily. "Promise me... that you two won't get in a fight. Please?"

My stomach sank. Part of my plan was to instigate a fight and taunt Kyo until his real self reappeared, to show him with my actions that I wanted him back.

_Whoa, wait just a second... did I really just think that?_

I couldn't say no to her, though. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't. That would only make her worry more and I didn't want that to happen.

"I give you my word, Miss Honda," I replied, flashing one of my fake smiles at her.

She let out a breath. "Thank you, thank you! I hope he gets better soon. I miss the old Kyo."

My stomach did a backflip.

_I miss the old Kyo, too._

_So, so much._

Tohru opened the fridge and made a sort of _h____mph_ noise that caught my attention.

"Something wrong, Miss Honda?"

"No, no, no! Well, yes. I mean..." She let out a heavy sigh. "I don't know."

Her harried state returned with a vengeance as she pulled out three different plates piled high with food and set them on the counter.

"What're those?" I asked, my curiosity having been completely piqued.

"Umm, well, they're Kyo's meals from yesterday..."

"He missed all three yesterday?" I asked warily, my stomach sinking to the very pit of my gut.

"Yeah, I haven't seen him snack or anything, either. The only thing I think he's had is milk. Oh no, oh no, oh no! This isn't good! I really think he might be sick! Should we give Hatori a call? Surely we should tell Shigure! But he already knows that something isn't right and—"

"It's all right, Miss Honda, I'll take care of it," I said, cutting off her ceaseless worrying.

"But shouldn't we tell someone?"

"I'm sure Shigure already has some idea as to what's going on. If the problem persists, we'll contact Hatori, all right?"

She sighed with relief. "Okay, let me know how it goes when he gets back." Then she seemed to catch herself and waved her hands in front of her frantically. "Of course, you don't have to if you don't want to. It can stay between you and Kyo if you want. I'm just worried, that's all."

"I'll do what I can," I said and headed up to my room.

Once there, I reveled in the wonderful sound of silence. Tohru was great, but sometimes her worrying became rather taxing.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning my room. I was really desperate to do something while I waited impatiently for Kyo to get back.

The laundry was the first to go; it had become so clustered that it was hard to move through the room. Tohru was more than willing to do it while I continued deep cleaning every nook and cranny imaginable.

I worked all day. All stupid day. And still no Kyo.

I went back downstairs, my feet unconsciously leading me to Shigure's office. The Dog was sitting behind his desk furiously typing away on his computer, which usually meant that he was procrastinating, playing some sort of game or whatever instead of working.

Slowly fading rays of sunlight filtered in through the open porch door. Where in the hell was Kyo? Then I thought that perhaps I had missed him while I'd been sterilizing my room.

"Did Kyo ever come back?"

He shook his head vigorously. "No, and I'm too busy to go look for him."

Silence reigned. All I could do was stare at the floor as if I would find Kyo hidden there.

I knew I wouldn't, of course. It was just wishful thinking on my part. I was being naïve. I was slipping farther into panic mode the longer Kyo was gone

"Yuki!" Shigure yelled, interrupting my silent reverie.

My head snapped up to look at the Dog. "Yes, what?"

"I've been talking to you this whole time. Have you even heard a word I've said?"

I gaped at him. Had he really been talking this whole time? Whoops.

"Sorry, I must have zoned out or something. You were saying?"

He sighed loudly, showing how clearly displeased he was that I'd failed to pay attention. "I _said_ that if Kyo doesn't get better soon, I'll have to call Hatori to take a look at him."

"Akito won't allow that," I replied softly, having trouble saying the devil's name.

Shigure became unusually pensive. "Perhaps. Either way, if this continues we'll have to get some sort of help for him."

I couldn't make any noise. I didn't trust myself to speak, so I merely nodded.

"The sun is almost gone. I hope he doesn't stay out all night," the Dog went on, remaining thoughtful.

So that was it. I had a choice. I could stay at the house and anxiously wait the night out for Kyo to come home, or I could go out into the ever-expanding night and drag that damn Cat back here. By his tail if I had to.

I stood there for a few minutes, conflicting emotions tugging at my heart strings. What to do, what to do?

_You already know the answer to that._

I flinched as the voice of my conscience reverberated loudly through my head. I sighed. Yeah, I did know the answer.

When I left the room, I went into the hall and put my shoes on before heading outside. I didn't bother telling Shigure or Tohru I was leaving. I figured I'd be back before the sun came up. And if I wasn't, well, I had faith that the Dog would be able to figure out where I'd gone, albeit, very little faith. Shigure wasn't that bright all things considered.

I was hardly dressed to be outside so late at night, wearing only a pair of khakis and a tee shirt, but I didn't really care. Determination overtook my mind to the point where all I could concentrate on was Kyo.

I'd find him and bring him home.

I just had to.

For his sake.

And for my own.

**To Be Continued**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hello everyone!! I made it safely to Jordan!! After having had an 8 hour layover in Chicago before my 13 hour flight, I was able to write this chapter for you in my notebook. The friend I was meeting here in Jordan is letting me use her computer to type it up so I can update for you guys!! ^_^ Isn't she just the greatest!?!?_**

**_From this point on though, I'll be super busy and probly won't be able to update on a regular basis for ANY of my stories like I want to. But this is a good start yes? I know some of you were kinda mad by the total cliff hanger last chapter!! Heh, you won't like me after this chapter either....._**

**_Anywho, read and enjoy! You guys are great and I'll do my best to upload for you while I'm here, but NO promises!!_**

**_Chapter Four_**

**KYO:**

I spent the day aimlessly wandering around in the woods. I couldn't go to the dojo, my heart just wasn't in it. I couldn't face Shishou either. After what he did, I found it hurt just to even think about him.

I felt betrayed.

Yet I was so weak I couldn't even muster up enough energy to be angry at him. I couldn't hate him. It wasn't his fault I was so despicable. It wasn't his fault I was such a sorry excuse for a zodiac. I wasn't really even considered a zodiac though. Because I was the cat.

My roaring stomach made itself more known and I stumbled from its insistency. Honestly I don't know why the dam thing was even growling, there wasn't anything for me to eat in the forest.

The instant I thought that, there was a rustling from some bushes up ahead and a rabbit darted across the path only to disappear in the bushes on the other side.

My stomach gave a fierce pang and I stopped in my tracks. If my body weren't so weak, I probably would have laughed at myself. I mean, my mouth was watering because of a fucking bunny. Eh, I knew I was too weak to hunt it down anyway.

I forced my frozen limbs into motion even though they protested the movement. I didn't know where I was headed or why I was even heading there. I suppose I just felt that I had to go anywhere, anywhere away from that house and the people in it.

I was walking slowly, being too tired for a faster pace. After walking for who knows how long, I tripped over a tree root. Obviously I hadn't been paying a whit of attention to where I was going. My reflexes were like in super slow motion and before I knew it, I was face first in the dirt. I coughed sending a puff of particles into the air. Turning my head to the side so I could breathe, I inhaled deeply through my nose. My chin stung so I think I may have cut it in the fall.

Oh well, what's another wound? My body was already a canvas of scars.

I moved my hands underneath my head and just sort of laid there on my stomach. It felt good. Just relaxing. And somehow, the hard ground was actually quite comfortable.

I yawned and closed my eyes to concentrate on the forest around me. It was so full of life. Like the way I used to be. Pah! That felt like ages ago! Honestly, the amount of energy I used to exude was ridiculous. It made me even more tired just thinking about it.

Birds twittered from all around and my mouth watered again. My stomach demanded something more substantial than milk.

I couldn't answer that request though. I couldn't bring myself to even consider it.

I just wanted to disappear, to vanish. To not exist anymore. That way, if I didn't exist, my pain wouldn't exist either. Not bad logic if I do say so myself. Then my mind fell into a dark place and questions I didn't want answers to kept going through my head. They were unstoppable once they got started.

Would anyone even notice if I _did_ just disappear?

And if they did notice, would they even care?

I was just the cat after all.

Who would want or miss the cat?

I was suddenly filled with the desire to get farther away. To find a place where no one would find me. I wanted to be lost, because I felt I was already a lost cause.

Forcing myself to my feet with shaking arms, I continued down the path. Wait, if I wanted to be lost, why was I staying on the beaten path?

I hit myself on the forehead, _genius…._

So, I went off the path, into the dense woods. I went off at an angle so that I would still get farther away from the house. These woods were huge and thick, they went on for hundreds of miles. If there was any place to get lost in, this would be it. I could fade away and it would be like I was never a part of this world.

For some reason, that thought really comforted me. It would make things so much easier if I didn't have to deal with anything anymore. I wouldn't have to feel, wouldn't have to suffer, wouldn't have to… live.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders at the sudden realization.

I don't _have_ to live anymore.

There is nothing tying me to the world. Nothing is keeping me here. I have no incentive to stay.

But if I really was going to end my own feeble existence, when the time came, would I have the courage to do it?

The courage to take that fatal step over the edge?

I didn't know the answer to that. A sigh whooshed out of my lips, the sound was low but it still managed to startle me a little.

I could feel thorns scraping harshly at my skin as I walked, but I ignored it. More cuts were the least of my worries. I was already so tired that it was almost like I was numb to the pain. But I did notice that my ankle was throbbing so I must have twisted it when I'd tripped over the tree root. Really? A tree root of all things!!

I kept walking and after awhile I felt both dehydration and starvation weakening me further. A cold sweat formed all over my body even though I felt like I was burning. No, not burning. On fire! My blood boiled with fever. It was uncomfortable as hell and made my sight bleary.

I still continued on though.

I forced myself to.

It seemed like the farther I went, the less light seeped through the trees. Of course, it could have been because of my quickly fading eyesight, or maybe the sun was going down. Had it really been that long already? I'd left pretty early in the day, before breakfast even.

Regardless, I was moving toward the darkness. And that was… alright with me.

I'm not quite sure when my headache made itself known. Hell, it could have been there the whole time without my knowledge. It was a dull ache at first, but then quickly turned into a pulsating pound. It felt like my skull was trying to split into two different pieces.

For all I knew, that's exactly what it was trying to do.

Eventually, the pain got so bad that I had to stop and grab my head as if to vanquish the throb. I grinded my teeth together roughly as I felt my clammy hands sift through and grab hold of my orange hair. It didn't help, none of it did. The pain continued. Its relentless throbbing turned any thought I may have had, or was trying to have, into nothing.

Blood hell! Why the fuck did it have to hurt so dam much?!?!

I shut my eyes tight and quickly began to lose my balance. I took a couple uneasy steps and felt a tree collide with my shoulder. I let go of my head with one hand, the other remained tangled in my hair, and reached out to cling to the steadfast trunk. My nails dug into the bark so hard that it made my cuticles bleed. Or at least, I thought they were bleeding. I was digging my nails in with such force that if they weren't bleeding, then my skin must be made of iron or something.

My body trembled and shook as I waited for the bought of pain to pass. The tremors increased to the point where I had to hunch myself over just to stay on my feet. My breathing came in quick pants as sweat dripped off my face and dampened my shirt.

When the searing pain finally began to ebb to an ache, I forced my eyes open. Everything was out of focus, all I could see were shadows. Shadows that barely resembled shapes.

After getting my shaking body and breathe under control, I stood up straight and let my arms fall to my sides. I'd never been so exhausted in all my life. Hell, I'd never been so _sick_ in all my life!

I stood there and took one deep breath after another until I felt well enough to move. I had to really force myself to start walking again. Fuck, it hurt so much! My blood seared through my veins with sweltering, blistering heat. I was a little surprised I hadn't fallen into some form of delirium yet. Then again, maybe I had, I just didn't know it.

Once I got myself going, I found it much easier to keep going. I don't even know how many miles I walked. For all I was aware of, it could have only been one. But it _felt _more than that.

I ran the back of my hand across my forehead and my skin was flooded with sweat. My hair was soaked with it and the air was starting to get colder.

I'd decided after a little while that the sun was, in fact, going down. The shadows lengthened all around me and it was getting really hard for me to see. And it wasn't just because of the fading light. Everything was bleary and jumbled. I kept seeing things that weren't there. This is so stupid! I'm the fucking cat! What kind of cat can't see well in the dark??

A lame one, that's what.

_I'm hopeless._

I didn't know where I was walking, but I'd found and was following a deer trail. Because my eyes had proved pretty useless, I followed the trail mainly by scent more than anything else. Things had really quieted down now that the sun was almost completely gone. So when a twig snapped loudly on my left, I naturally startled and shied to the right only to step on… nothing.

I pitched and rolled as I tumbled down a slope. All the air was knocked out of my lungs when my chest collided with a rock of some sort. I thought it would never end. Then—

_Splash!!_

I'd landed on my side in a very, very shallow creek. When I took a deep breath, gasping for air, I accidentally inhaled some water too. I coughed and sputtered, rolling over to my back so I wouldn't inhale anymore unwanted water.

It was the water that did it: sapped what little strength that was left right out of me. I was officially exhausted. I had absolutely nothing left.

But I couldn't stay in the water. It disgusted me, making my stomach clench involuntarily. It not only drained my energy, but it also made me feel sick. Sicker than I was already feeling, which was saying something because I was feeling downright awful.

I moved to get up and make it to the bank, but one of my legs just wouldn't respond to the commands. I rolled over onto my stomach, keeping my neck arched up away from the water. The same leg that had had the throbbing ankle was the one that wasn't working. Go figure.

I felt no pain though. Not from anywhere. That probably wasn't a good thing…..

…..

Oh well.

I clawed my way over to the far bank, using the one good leg I had to help push me out of the water. The slope on the far bank was much too steep for me to climb out in the state that I was in. So basically, I was trapped.

Rolling over again so I could sit down on the bank, I used the slope as something to rest my back against so I remained sitting. I had no idea where I was. I was alone. I couldn't' see. And I could feel nothing. Not the pain. Not the cold. Nothing.

I was lost. Surely no one would find me here. Hell, I didn't even know where this place was. Yes, it was by a small creek. Congratulations, but that didn't help. There were dozens of creeks in these woods.

And as I slipped into unconsciousness, having no strength to fight it off any longer, one last feeling swept over me. I didn't know if I'd ever wake up again, and yet I felt… contented.

Contented to be gone and just

_Fade_

_Away...._

**_Good yes/no? I need you guys to tell me what you think!! Sorry though, another cliffy!! What will happen to the beloved orange kitty?? Well, sad to say, you won't know until I update the next chapters O_O;;_**

**_Tomorrow me and my friend are off to Petra. I GET TO RIDE A CAMEL!!!!! OMG FREAKEN YAY!!!!!_**

**_*cough cough* right, attention lapse, I'm sorry...._**

**_Let me know what you think!_**

**_REVIEW!!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_I was able to type up and finish the next chapter YAY!! Today was my first full day here in Jordan and this is how it went: We went to bed around 6 AM and got up around 5 PM. Then we went shopping at Mecca Mall and drove around the city. It's now going on 5 AM and it doesn't look like I'll be sleeping anytime soon hahahaha_**

**_Right, so heres the next chappie. I hope you all like it. I wanted to make it kinda sweet.... So here it is! I was typing fast for you so don't even mention any spelling errors if you find them._**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**TOHRU & SHIGURE:**

Tohru finished Yuki's laundry and began her dutiful task of making dinner like she usually did. She went into the kitchen and pulled out some vegetables. She stayed far away from the leeks on account of how much Kyo hated them.

She stopped working at the thought of Kyo and took a deep breath.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him smile or heard him laugh.

Of course she knew that Kyo never did either of those things very often. But the few times that she _had_ seen it, Kyo had been radiant.

Kyo hadn't been himself for awhile now. She sighed again knowing that there was really nothing she could do about it, and it really frustrated her! She wanted to help Kyo, she wanted to help anyone that she could. That is just the way that Tohru was and always will be.

She went back to work, pulling more vegetables out of the fridge for the soup she planned on making that night. The laundry had taken longer than she'd thought so she was getting a late start on dinner. Tohru put a pot on the stove and filled it half way with water.

Then she remembered Yuki. He'd been busy all day with cleaning his room and therefore she hadn't seen him except for when he'd given her his mountain of dirty clothes. Thinking maybe he'd like something to do, and so she could see him, she decided to go find him and see if he'd help her with dinner despite the fact that he was a lousy cook. She figured cutting vegetables would be a simple enough task. Or at least she hoped it would be.

Turning the stove on medium, she left the kitchen and went to the stairs. Climbing them, she found Yuki's room and rapt on the door a few times. There was no answer so she went to the second most likely place that he would be: Shigure's office. She entered the room to find Shigure staring off into the forest through the open porch door. Tohru felt a little awkward because he hadn't noticed her yet.

"I'm sorry Shigure, is this not a good time?" She asked in her usual timid, flustered fashion.

He turned to her as if just realizing that he was no longer alone in the room anymore, "Oh. Hello Tohru! This is a fine time, how might I assist you?"

"Oh, umm, well, I was wondering if Yuki was around to help me with dinner?"

The dog of the zodiac rested his chin into the palm of his hand, "Sorry Tohru, Yuki's not … here right now."

She fidgeted uncomfortably with her hands. Shigure had sounded so pensive and tired. And there was something else, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Tohru glanced outside and noticed that the sun was nearly completely gone.

"Well it's rather late, where could he have gone that couldn't have waited until tomorrow?"

Shigure's dark eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly and Tohru was suddenly able to place the emotion she hadn't been able to figure out moment before: worry. But why would Shigure be worried?

"Oh, well then where is he?" She caught herself and immediately began waving her hands in front of her, "Not that it's any of my business or anything! You don't have to tell me if you don't want to or if you can't, either way I'll understand!"

"He went out to get Kyo," Shigure replied quietly, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

Tohru fell instantly silent. Went out to get Kyo…?

…..??

Then it hit her.

"WAIT!! Kyo hasn't come back since this morning? He's _still _out there? All by himself? What if he got lost? Do you think he's alright? I didn't think anything of it when he missed lunch, but now, now he's missing dinner too! I don't think he's eaten anything since…. Oh no, I can't even remember how long! Shigure!!!"

She waited for Shigure to tell her that everything would be alright. That Kyo was fine, he was just busy or going through some sort of funk. She wanted to hear that Kyo would be back to normal soon and that things would go back to the way they used to be.

But he didn't say that, he didn't say anything. All he did was turn his head to look back out the opened door. Yuki had thought that no one had noticed him leaving, but Shigure had. Noting got past the dog zodiac. He was head of the house, and therefore, he knew all.

"It is getting late," Shigure mused after of moment silence which left Tohru on figurative pins and needles.

"How- how long ago did Yuki leave?"

"Awhile ago, the sun was still up," Shigure replied quietly.

Tohru found that her hands were shaking a little because of worry of her own.

She gulped before working up courage to speak, which actually came out as a stream of more worries, "Why isn't he back yet? What if something happened to him too? What if he got lost? What're we going to do? We can't just sit here! We have to do _something_!!"

"Let's give them a little more time," the dog suggested. "If they're not back in an hour or so then we'll go look for them, okay?"

This eased Tohru's mind… a little… not very much actually. She nodded and went back to the kitchen. She had to do something to get her mind off of her missing friends. She cut the vegetables one by one, potatoes, carrots, and celery in that order. To threw them all in the water when she was done and added spices and broth to the water for taste.

It had only been ten minutes….

So, she kept cooking.

She made rice balls – which didn't look as round as they should have been when she was done –. She put the water in the machine, waited for it to heat before adding the rice, and finished them. That had only taken her twenty minutes.

She went back to the fridge and began pulling out anything she could get her hands on. She made sandwiches with all different kinds of meat. Some of them had cheese, some of them didn't. Tohru even cut the squares into halves in case anyone wasn't hungry for a full one.

She then decided to check on and stir the soup. It had started to boil a little so she turned down the heat before beginning to clean up the mess she'd made. By the time she was finished whipping the counters and putting everything away, the hour was up.

Storming back into Shigure's office she announced full of enthusiasm, "Alright, let's go get them!"

He chuckled at her determination before getting up. Instead of going for his shoes though, we went to the phone in the hall.

"Um, Shigure, what're you doing? Shouldn't we get going? The longer we wait, the higher the chances are that something bad could happen."

He picked up the phone and dialed while he answered, "We'll need some help, if you haven't noticed the woods are kind of big. And at night, when it's hard to see, we'll need all the extra set of eyes we can get. Now please go get your shoes on and find a flash light."

She nodded with determination and headed off. The flashlight was easy to find, there was always a spare in the closet, and of course her shoes were waiting by the door. When she went back to Shigure, he was leaning idly against the wall, the phone call was over.

"So who did you call?"

He smiled, "Oh, you'll know here in a couple minutes."

Sure enough, a couple minutes later, a whirlwind busted through the door.

"WHERE IS KYO?!?!" Kagura demanded, her eyes dancing between anger and worry.

"Better question, where's everyone else?" Shigure asked with a raised brow.

"They're on their way, they couldn't keep up. Now, WHERE IS KYO??"

Shigure shrugged, "Dunno, he disappeared this morning and he hasn't turned up yet."

"DON'T WORRY KYO! I'M COMING! MY LOVE WILL GUIDE ME TO YOU!" Kagura proclaimed, but Shigure was ignoring her.

"This morning? Why are you so worried, Kyo has stayed out later than this before," Haru jibed as he sauntered through the busted door with Momiji following close behind.

Tohru found her hands shaking again with worry, "But you don't understand," she said in a hushed voice, but still managed to get everyone's attention. "He hasn't eaten anything for days, and it doesn't look like he's slept much either." Her gut churned, "I really don't think…. I mean, I _know _something's wrong."

Momiji came over and took one of her hands, "It's okay Tohru, we'll find him."

"Where's Yuki?" Haru asked, turning his attention to Shigure. "I know he doesn't like Kyo very much, but he lives here so he should help too."

Shigure remained neutral, "Yuki went out earlier. He hasn't come back yet either."

"Then what the hell are we waiting for?! We should get going!" Haru exclaimed with an unnatural spurt of energy.

"Well where's Hatori? He said he was coming too, so where is he?"

Momiji pulled Tohru towards the door by the hand, "He's on his way. Me and Haru had to leave in a hurry to keep up with Kagura…. Where did she get off to anyway?"

They all looked around and Kagura was nowhere to be found.

"Did she already leave?" Shigure suggested just as he heard a car pulling up in the drive.

Hatori walked in less than a minute later, a grim expression on his face. He didn't look happy. Then again, he never did.

"You're put in charge of a house and you lose two of the three kids in it in one night?" He scolded, he really wasn't in a good mood.

"It's not my fault!!" The dog defended though worry still clouded his eyes. "They're the ones that cause problems, I have nothing to do with it!!"

"Whatever," he responded coldly, "Let's go."

"Oh wait, give me a second!" Tohru suddenly said as she gently released Momiji's warm hand.

Tohru ran up the stairs, grabbed some extra clothes from the closet down the hall, and went back downstairs. She met their curious looks with a smile.

"It's getting cold out and knowing them, neither of them have a jacket."

Shigure smiled fondly at her, "Oh, where ever would we be without you?!"

"We should split up, we'll cover more ground that way." Hatori suggested as they went outside and he produced a flashlight from his jacket pocket.

Shigure nodded, "Tohru and Momiji can go with me. Haru can go with you."

Hatori turned to the bull and gave him a steady glare, "If you turn black on me kid, your next check-up is going to be the worst experience of your life."

Haru raised his hands in surrender, "You have my word… unless the occasion calls for it, of course."

Shigure turned to his companions when the other two set off, "You two stay close to me okay? We don't want to have _another_ person lost in these woods today."

Tohru nodded and smiled to herself when she felt Momiji's hand slip into her own. Shigure pulled out a flashlight of his own and began leading the way. The sun was completely gone at this point and the forest was a lot more foreboding than she ever imagined it to be before.

"What about Kagura?" She asked as she remembered that the boar of the zodiac had disappeared without their knowing.

Shigure smiled in the dark, his white teeth sticking out against the black, "Oh I'm sure she's fine. She was the main reason I called. If there is anyone who could find Kyo, who else but Kagura?"

Tohru returned the smile, "Good point. Now let's find them, please. I'm so worried...."

Momiji gave her hand a sqeeze, "It's okay, you'll see, everything will turn out alright."

"Thank you," she replied, her gut letting loose a little for those were the words she'd wanted to hear.

They headed out into the darkness of the night. All hoping beyond reason that they would find who they were looking for. And that both of them were okay.....

Hope could only do so much though.....

**_TA-DAAAAAAA!!!! My friend says 'hi' to all of you. She doesn't write or read fanfiction and she's only heard about it from me lol but she still says 'hi' regardless. _**

**_So what did you think?? The next chapter will be from Yuki's POV and it'll contain what most of you have been waiting for. Sorry for dragging it out, but this is just where I wanted to go with it. Make it different from the other fics ya know? Right, so let me know!_**

**_REVIEW!!_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_I IS ALIVE!! Sorry for the delay guys, it took me awhile to find the time to type this lovely chappie up. Hopefully you all like it ^_^ Today we had a huge lunch with my friend's entire family which means that there were like 50 some of us. And I learned something rather interesting.... Here in Jordan, if you order lamb (like the meat) and the restraunt you order it from respects you, they'll give you the WHOLE GOSH DANG LAMB!!! Like, it'll be cooked and everything and skinned as well. But they give you the freaking legs, spinal cord, intestines, and SKULL!!! They asked me if it grossed me out and I said no, because it really didn't. So they had me hold it so they could take a picture of me with it hahahaha I named it Shaun in case any of you were wondering....._**

**_Right, on with the chappie. Just thought that some of you might find that a trifle bit... interesting. Right, well here it is, what I think some of you have been waiting for ^_^ Enjoy loves!!_**

I had been walking for what felt like forever. The sun was gone, it was getting colder with each passing minute, and I didn't have a flashlight. Or a jacket for that matter.

I'd walked down the path ever since I'd left the house. But now I had doubled back and was heading toward the house again. I wasn't really going back to the house though. To be honest, I'm… confused. Kyo's scent was no longer on the trail which meant he must have turned _into_ the woods at some point. I'm confused because I had no idea where that point was.

_Now why would he even go into the woods in the first place?_

Sometimes, it was nice being the rat. I had heightened sight in the night time plus my sense of hearing and smell were better than even Shigure's. Him being the dog was really saying something about my own abilities. But I'm not one to gloat.

I made my way through the black night, silver light from the moon filtered and streamed through the canopy of trees above me. I wasn't sure when I'd lost Kyo's scent so I had to really pay attention to pick it up again. The only thing about focusing my senses was that it physically drained me. But I truly felt that that didn't matter. All that mattered was finding Kyo.

I kept walking and thought I'd never find his scent again when it suddenly almost knocked me off my feet. He had a very natural rugged, enticing smell. But mingled into his irresistible scent was another, more sour smell. I quickly recognized it as sickness. I didn't know what kind, but any sort of sickness was bad.

I veered off in the direction Kyo must have taken and I found myself in a hurry. I could feel my energy draining with each moment that I continued heightening my senses, but I hardly cared. Kyo was out in the cold wearing a tee-shirt, shorts, and he was sick. Really sick by the scent of it.

My pace quickened all on its own until I was jogging. Trees and bushes went past in a blurry fashion, so I really had to expend more of my energy to make sure that I didn't miss anything. Everything looked the same, all the scenery quickly morphed into one entitiy.

Then another smell hit me as I jogged through the foliage along a newly beaten, and nearly invisible path. I stopped dead in my tracks and went back to the tree that the smell had come from. Bark had been torn away leaving a rather large crimson stain in its place on the white trunk.

Blood? Where had the blood come from?

When I'd scented his strange sickness, I'd been worried. Now that I knew he was bleeding, I was on the verge of panicking.

"Kyo?!" I called into the darkness.

There was no reply. With the exception of the crickets.

Stupid bugs, I felt like they were mocking me.

I turned and looking in all directions, letting my night vision take in every detail. I was about two miles from the path and I was lost. My frantic state caused a cough to escape from my lips.

Now was NOT the time for my asthma to start acting up!

I started down the trail again, Kyo must have been following a deer trail because this path was much more pronounced. But why on earth would he do that?

I went faster and had to stop only a few times to catch my breath. How far had he gone! It felt like I was running a stupid ten mile marathon or something along those lines and equally as asinine. Then I went down the trail again having finished another one of my numerous stops when the scent suddenly vanished again. I skittered to a halt and took a few paces back to where the scent had last left off.

That's when I noticed the broken branches and rundown plants. I took a step closer to the break in the otherwise perfect line and realized that there was a steep drop on the other side with what sounded like water at the bottom. My stomach sank to the ground. Kyo and water was the worst mix in the whole world.

Without thinking, I jumped forward and slid down the slope taking care to keep my balance and not fall. There was, indeed, water at the bottom. But it was shallow and only rose to maybe my ankles. And it was freezing!! My feet felt like there were thousands of white hot needles pricking them and I quickly took a few steps forward

And that's when I found Kyo. He looked awful! I ran across the shallow stream and fell to my knees by his side.

Blood was oozing from his hairline and down his cheek to drip of his bloodied chin which seemed to have acquired a wound of its very own somehow. Kyo was completely drenched, but it didn't smell quite like water. He was shivering, it was way too cold out for him in these conditions. Dark circles had formed under his eyes and there was mud splattered on his clothes and skin.

"Kyo!?" I yelled, giving his shoulders a shake.

He didn't respond and I looked at my hands which were now slick with moisture from touching him. Curious, I licked one of my pale, slim fingers.

It was sweat.

He may have fallen into the water at some point, but there wasn't any water left. It had all been replaced by his sickly sweat.

I put a hand over his forehead, he was burning up. Heat radiated from him in angry waves.

My gut clenched and rolled over in worry.

"Kyo?!" I shook his shoulders again, a little more violently this time. "KYO!!"

There wasn't any kind of response. So in the state of sheer panic and now – I hated to admit it – fear, I punched him.

It wasn't a light punch either.

It was a rough, bare knuckle, sucker punch that I used to convey all my pent up emotions.

A straggled noised escaped from his throat and had I not been so freaked I might have smiled with relief when his eyes slit open. I don't think I've even been so happy to see those unique red eyes of his.

But something was definitely wrong.

They were glazed completely over and couldn't seem to focus on any one thing. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had no idea where he was. And deep within those eyes I could see how truly exhausted he was.

"Kyo, can you hear me?"

He only stared at me with half lidded eyes and an expression of pain. Fever sweltered on his skin and I could see its effects in his eyes.

He was in pain.

And a lot of it.

I ripped off one of my tee-shirt sleeves at the seam and used it to wipe as much blood and sweat from his face that I could. He watched me in a placated reverence. I really didn't think he could react even if he wanted to.

"Kyo, I'm going to try and move you now. Okay?"

No response. I hadn't expected that there would be, but of course I planned on moving him anyway….

I grabbed one of Kyo's biceps and put my other hand on his waist. I pulled, trying my best to get him to his feet. A pained noise made its way from deep within Kyo's chest and it seemed like he was trying to get up with the help of me supporting him, but something was wrong. He wasn't lopsided per say in the two inches that we'd managed to get up, it was more along the lines of extremely unbalanced.

Problems with balance were always bad news when dealing with a cat.

Now I knew that things were worse than I'd feared.

I easily let him back down the short distance we'd managed and moved to look at him. I thought that maybe it was something minor, maybe something that I could fix on my own. Then I noticed the way his legs were positioned. One was out straight while the other looked… odd. I ran a hand across his knee and his body flinched from my feathery touch.

_That's never a good sign…._

Pushing the fabric of his shorts up a little, I found more scrapes and cuts but nothing more.

_Well that was rather anti-climatic. But maybe…._

True fear shook me to my core when the thought occurred to me that it might be broken. Kyo was _way _too big for me to carry by myself and there wasn't any force on earth that could get me to leave him. I cursed silently, a broken leg was much too big for a rat like me to handle on my own!!

I looked back up to Kyo's pain stricken face to find that his eyes had slid closed at some point. Sweat continued to pour from his skin, drenching his whole body. His shivering increased and I knew that it wasn't just from the cold air surrounding us. There was something more, and he was suffering like this.

Everything was so terribly wrong.

Desperation gripped me and I roughly grabbed his shoulders again, "Kyo, you've got to stay awake!!"

His eyes slit open for a split second before rolling back into his head. It was as if I could feel him slipping away from me. And I just couldn't handle that.

I couldn't lose Kyo.

I could feel my eyes frosting over with unshed tears that I tried to force back, but they wouldn't be swayed.

The thought that Kyo might not make it had a lump forming in my throat.

I couldn't bare it.

"Please!" I hollered as the first tear streamed down my face, desperation was clear in my voice. "Please Kyo! Stay with me!"

I wanted to punch him again as tears continued to steam down my face, leaving frigid trails because of the cold air. I wanted to hate him for doing this to himself. Doing this to _me._ I'm not the type to cry, but at that moment, I couldn't get them to stop.

When had Kyo come to mean so much to me? Why did even the mere thought of him disappearing from my life make my stomach twist in uncomfortable agony. And it wasn't just my stomach that hurt me, my heart throbbed as well.

I closed my eyes and just sat there next to the cat, still gripping his shirt. My enemy which had recently become the object of my infatuation. It all seemed so hopeless. His body was so cold, so lifeless, and there was nothing I could do. I was trapped and I felt that there was no way out.

Suddenly, a tell-tale _poof_ filled the silence that had threatened to deafen my acute ears. My hands were no longer gripping Kyo, just Kyo's empty shirt. I looked down to find a shaking orange bundle laying next to me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Hope fluttered in my chest as my tears began to subside, I may not have been able to carry Kyo, but I sure as hell could carry a cat. I picked him up carefully and nestled him in the crook of my arm. His ribs showed clearly even through his fur and my heart lurched, had he not been shaking, I would have mistaken him for dead.

Quickly grabbing his clothes, I stood and ran. I followed the trail back to the path as best I could and took special care not to jostle Kyo too much. I could feel his sweat seeping through my shirt and my worries heightened. He must be so completely dehydrated at this point, it was a miracle he was even still alive.

But he was with _me_ now. I would personally see to it that he got home safe. And then I would call Hatori and get him over to the house immediately.

Once on the path again, I felt much more reassured. That is, until I was overcome by a fit of asthma induced coughing. I slid to my knees, feeling them scrape as I did. I coughed and hacked, trying my best to not bother Kyo.

I silently cursed again, all of this was taking way too long!!

I wasn't worried that Kyo would change back, he was in such a poor state that I doubted he had any energy to. I was losing him further with each second. I had to get back to the house.

Forcing myself up, I made my way down the path once more. I coughed every now and then, but the attacks weren't as bad as the first one that had brought me down. So I pressed on, going as fast as I possibly could.

"Hold on Kyo, we're almost there," I soothed as some familiar markings came into view.

My sides burned and my legs cried for me to stop running. But I kept going, even in the dark I knew that the house was close. When it finally came into view, I could have cried again in relief. But I didn't. Obviously. The situation was much too precious to waste more time.

I went to the first open door I saw which just so happened to be Shigure's office door and skittered to a stop once I got inside. The office was empty, no surprise there, it was late. I went into the hall to see that the front door was broken down.

"Shigure?!" I called loudly and cursed when there was no answer.

"Tohru?!" Surely she had to be home, right?

No answer.

I was alone.

Cursing again, I ran up the stairs and went to the most familiar room I knew: my own. I pulled the covers back and gently laid Kyo's limp body down. He instantly curled up into a tiny, quivering ball. One of his back legs didn't curl up though, it stayed splayed out in that same odd way as before.

I ran back downstairs and picked up the phone. I dialed Hatori's number and got… no answer. My hands trembled as my body was overcome with a torrent of emotions that I didn't know what to do with.

Taking the phone with me, I went back upstairs and sat down on my bed next to Kyo. His breathing was faint, and those ribs really stuck out with mind numbing prominance. It hurt me to look at him like this. I looked like he was already gone.

I didn't know what to do.

I was lost once again.

And Kyo was… dying.

I felt… broken.

**_Well, well, well???? Bet some of you weren't expecting THAT eh?? I felt kind of bad making you guys wait on the edge of your seat for the next chapter (which won't be up for a little while because we leave for Jerusalem on Saturday....) So please don't be mad. Please?_**

**_Right, so I want to know what all of you think. INCLUDING YOU PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN FAVORITING/STORY ALERTING THIS FIC!! Only because your responses help me direct where this fic goes ^_^_**

**_REVIEW PLEASE!!_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Let my triumphant return begin!! I have the next several chapters all written out and ready to go ^_^ Please don't hate me for my loooooonnnnngggg absense but I got held up because I was moving into my college dorm. My room mate is freaking awesome and we get along incredibly well!! Which is weird considering we'd never met before. College is the shit! I love it already!_**

**_So here it is, my latest installment!_**

**_Enjoy!_**

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**YUKI:**

I took a deep breath, first thing I had to do was calm down. My heart was beating so fast and so loud that I could hardly hear anything else. And if I can't hear, I can't concentrate. I needed to concentrate. I needed to concentrate really bad.

Breath in.

Breath out.

Eventually the annoying _thump-thump-thump_ began to fade. I was in the kitchen, staring at a glass of water as if would give me all the answers I needed. It remained stoically silent, which was a good thing because if a glass of water talked to me, I'd be more than a little freaked out. And then I would deeply question my sanity.

Taking a drink of the cold water to clear my head, I set it by the sink and went to a closet out in the hall. From there, I grabbed several extra blankets, then I found myself stalled outside of the kitchen door. I'd never been so disoriented and flustered. So after taking a few more seconds to think things over, I went to the cabinet and pulled out a can of broth.

Making up my mind, I set the blankets down and grabbed a bowl. After searching through the drawers for a little while, I finally located the can opener. Opening the broth and pouring the contents into the bowl, I put it in the microwave for forty five seconds. Picking the blankets back up and having the broth in hand, I made my way up the stairs making sure to be careful not to spill anything.

Kyo was exactly how I'd left him. The only difference was that his breathing had become slower, more shallow. I knew that that wasn't a good sign.

Now that I'd entered my room, my mind went blank. Downstairs I begun to form something of a plan, but now that Kyo was before me, I lost my every train of thought. He was so vulnerable, that was something that Kyo never really was.

I set the broth down on my nightstand and laid the blankets on the foot of the bed. Leaving the room, I went to the bathroom and took a clean eye-dropper from the medicine cabinet. Returning to my room, I sat down cross legged on the bed so that my back could lean against the head board. Pulling one of the blankets to me, I skillfully made a small bed in my lap.

Moving Kyo was a completely different matter all together. I felt like if I pressed even a little too hard he'd snap in half or something. He was _that_ frail and sickeningly light. Those ribs protruded from his skin in a pointed, gut-clenching fashion.

I sighed and watched Kyo curl stiffy up in my lap, "Kyo you stupid cat, what have you done to yourself?"

A pang of guilt went through me because I hadn't noticed. I lived in the same house as the guy and I hadn't even noticed his failing health. What got me was that he'd done it to himself, why would he do that?

I reached down and gently grabbed the leg that was sticking out at an odd angle. I moved it so that it could curl with the cat's body. When I let go, it fell limply to the blanket and didn't move after that. I seriously thought it was broken or something.

I then took the eye dropper and filled it with the warm broth. Getting Kyo's feline jaws open was a totally different matter all together. The sweat sodden Kyo must have been in a lot of pain because his jaw was clamped tight. Not wanting to break the glass dropper, I was forced to stop trying to manuver it into his mouth.

"What to do, what to do," I fretted to myself.

On its own accord, I found my hand stroking Kyo's orange shoulder fur which had lost some its luster due to his health drop. He didn't purr or anything, of course I didn't really expect him too, but his tense body did relax a bit under my touch. A blossom of hope unfolded within my chest and I let my hand glide along his back.

After only a few minutes of that, he curled closer to me and become lucidly relaxed. I picked up the dropper again and this time, had absolutely no problem slipping it between his teeth. At first, he feebly tried pushing it back out with his tongue, but I easily kept it in place. After only exuding four little drops though, he began coughing, spitting out what little I'd gotten into his mouth. I'd pulled out the dropper hastily and waiting for his little fit to pass.

"Easy Kyo, you're alright," I whispered to sooth him.

My free hand went back to petting him until he eventually calmed. I couldn't believe it, I was _petting _Kyo. That was something I never thought I'd ever do.

When he'd relaxed enough, I tried the dropper once more only to have him reject it again.

"Oh come on Kyo," I whispered almost fondly which even surprised myself. "It's _chicken_ broth for crying out loud, you should be downing this like you do your stupid milk."

My hand never stopped petting him, that was the only thing that really seemed to be helping. Then another idea occured to me and I decided to give it a try.

Using the dropper for a third time, I dripped a few drops into his jaws and lightly stroked his throat with my thumb. That cat tensed, but eventually, the warm liquid slid reluctantly down his throat. Satisfaction and triumph warmed me like the sun itself was shining down on me. I didn't have the sun though, I had Kyo in cat form curled in my lap while I sat on my bed in my darkened room in the middle of the night. When put like that, it didn't sound too great.

I repeated the process several times, but was only able to get five dropper fulls of broth into him before he would absolutely not take anymore. Stupid cat. Five droppers wasn't nearly enough, but it was a start.

Even though I didn't need to, my hand kept petting him. Still no purr escaped his throat, and strangely, I was disappointed. For some reason, I wanted to hear that sound, I'd never heard it before. Why I wanted to hear it now of all times was a mystery, but I was too tired to question it. Kyo wasn't alright yet, not by any means, but he was better. His fur was still mottled with sweat and his leg still lay out at an awkward angle, but he was alive. That was good enough for me for now.

My eyelids became heavy and soon began to droop against my will. The house was eerily quiet and save for the serenading crickets outside, nothing else could be heard. I didn't hear the crickets though, my ears seemed to only be tuned to Kyo's panting, labored breathes. I was worried for him, scared for him, attached to him. He had to be alright, he just _had_ to be. I wouldn't take anything less in the end.

It was with these last thoughts that I was lulled to sleep, my hand burried gently in Kyo's moist fur.

**_Anyone getting tired of the cliffhangers yet? Hahaha so sorry about that!! I love you all, truly! And I know this chapter was rather on the short side, but fear not, the next one is longer. I wonder whose POV it'll be from, choices, choices, you won't know till next chapter ^_^ Don't be mad, I'm just having too much fun with this fic XD_**

**_Next chapter should be up soon because I already have it written and typed hahaha_**

**_REVIEW_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_I feel like an awful monster for taking so long to update. I'M SORRY!! College has gobbled me up and won't spit me back out until I've been officially demoralized. You're reviews help though!!!! ^_^ They really do and thank you to all of you that reviewed last chapter! And if you didn't, well, I still think you're wonderful! _**

**_Right, on with the fic. I don't know if it'll end in a cliffy yet or not... who knows really. I hope you enjoy it and hopefully it'll be good enough that you'll forgive me for my lapse of updating lol _**

**_ENJOY!!_**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**TOHRU & SHIGURE:**

The woods were dark, hardly anything could be seen through the dense forest. The flashlights they had were supposed to help, but the shadows that were created from the lights only made them think they were seeing something when in reality, it was just a trick. Tohru especially had a hard time with this. Everytime she saw what she thought was a moving shadow belonging to Kyo or Yuki, her hopes soared only to come crashing down seconds later.

It was a vicious cycle.

Momiji was still holding on for dear life onto Tohru's aching hand and Shigure was still in the lead a few feet in front of them. Tohru didn't complain about her hand, in fact, she barely noticed. Worry had completely taken over and she was on the verge of going into a full panic.

They'd been walking around in what felt like circles for three hours and there still wasn't any sign of anyone. Not even Haru, Hatori, or Kagura had made any kind of appearance. Tohru's throat had become raw and stiff from calling out for the missing for such an extended period of time. Momiji had given up calling out about an hour ago, Tohru was impressed he even lasted for as long as he did.

Shigure would call out every once in awhile, but he mostly just used his zodiac gift of dog night vision to try and get a good look around the area. Tohru could tell how worried he was by the terse setting of his shoulders and she could hear it in his voice whenever he spoke. She racked her mind and couldn't think of a time that she'd ever seen Shigure like this.

"I think we should backtrack," the dog said suddenly, but it sounded more like he was talking to himself.

"Why?" Momiji questioned before unsuccessfully trying to stifle a yawn.

Tohru followed wordlessly behind Shigure as he doubled back to head the way that they had come. Momiji was moving significantly slower than he had been before and the girl hoped that he could hang in there for a just a little while longer. Plus, if worse came to worse, Shigure could probably carry him.

"I can't scent either of them anymore. The trail I had found earlier of Yuki's scent that lead us to the creek is basically where it ends. After we decided to cross the creek and keep going, I've only gotten a nose full of pine and earth."

"So have you gotten anything of Kyo?" Tohru asked, her heart jumping wildly in her chest.

"Only faint traces," Shigure answered quietly, keeping his back to them.

He'd never tell them that he had found a rather strong trace of Kyo, and that trace was blood. Shigure had scented it from a tree they'd passed while on Yuki's trail, he figured Yuki must have found the blood and was following it to. Shigure knew that if he told his traveling companions about the blood, they'd without a shadow of a doubt freak out. The dog couldn't handle that right now, oh no, he had his mind fully preoccupied at the moment.

Questions kept spinning through his mind and he became more frustrated with each passing second that all his questions went unanswered.

Why would Kyo be bleeding?

Was he attacked by some sort of animal?

What kind of animal would be stupid enough to take on Kyo?

How did Yuki play into the whole scenario?

But most importantly: Where in the hell were they?

"Maybe one of them fell into the creek?" Tohru supplied, her teeth catching her bottom lip so she could bite down on it to help ease her nerves.

Shigure sighed, "The water where I scented Yuki was only a couple inches deep, hardly lethal for either of them."

"For a rat it might be," Momiji said suddenly, his idea startling the other two with renewed worries.

Tohru's blood turned to ice and even in the dark she could tell that Shigure's complexion had gone a shade paler than before and it wasn't because of the cold. Clearly the idea Momiji had suggested hadn't occurred to him either. It took all of Tohru's self control to not bolt back to the creek and check it for any pieces of clothing that would have unwillingly been discarded by the rat of the zodiac. Shigure seemed to sense her anxiety for he doubled their pace back to the creek, luckily, Momiji didn't object to the faster speed.

When Tohru could hear the sound of the creek up ahead, she almost broke into a run. The only thing that stopped her was the little hand that was still firmly placed in her own. For a little kid, Momiji certainly had some strength in those small hands of his.

They stopped at the edge and Shigure shined the light to make a quick sweep of the area. Only when he was sure that they wouldn't find a body of some kind, he slowed the light down to a crawl to thoroughly check the area. They scanned both banks, the shallow water, and a few feet past the embankment.

There was nothing. No Kyo. No Yuki. No sign that either of them had been there besides the faint scent that was left behind.

Wait a second....

"Nothing," Tohru breathed, a sound that held a mixture of relief and pent up tears.

Shigure had stiffened, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end like his hackles would if he were in his dog form.

How had I missed this before? He berated himself while taking another deep whiff of the air.

There was no mistaking it, Kyo and Yuki's scents were mixed. Before he had thought that it was only Yuki that had gone to the creek, but standing where he was, Shigure could definitely detect the faint trace of Kyo. The scent was masked by mud, Yuki, and water, but it was there.

"We should go back to the house," Shigure said in a clipped tone, trying to hide how upset he was with himself for missing such an important clue to the missing boys' whereabouts.

"Wait, do you hear that?"

Tohru, of course, heard nothing for she was merely a human. Shigure had to strain because his dog hearing wasn't nearly as good at the rabbit's hearing, but eventually, he heard it too. The sound of running foot falls was headed in their direction. The steps were measured and practiced so that ruled out Kagura right away.

"Let's go," Shigure said, heading to the sound of the running steps.

Not five minutes later, Haru came into view, a sheen of sweat had formed on his brow from his exertions.

"Find anything?" Shigure demanded in a stern voice that didn't fit his personality one bit.

Despite having run for awhile, Haru's voice was still steady when he spoke, "Nothing, you?"

Shigure shook his head, "Nothing but faint scents and dead ends. We were just about ready to head back to the house, where's Hatori?"

"Back on the path about a mile out from the house, he's not alone though, Kagura's with him."

Tohru couldn't help bursting in, "Did she find anything?"

Haru looked distraught as he shook his head, "Nothing, I've never seen her more upset."

"Come on, we'll meet up with them and then head back."

Haru nodded and fell in stride with Shigure, "But what if they're not back at the house either?"

"Then you guys can stay at the house while Hatori and I go back out."

"There's no way I'm going to stay at the house if Yuki and Kyo are still out here," Haru replied darkly, a deep tremor lining his words.

Shigure glanced back at Tohru and the lagging Momiji, "We'll discuss this later."

Momiji's voice piped up, "Haru, how did you find us?"

"Let's just say that I've been jogging for awhile. You guys covered a lot of ground when we split up."

Silence ensued then, leaving each person of mull and brood in their own thoughts. At some point along the way, Haru slowed and picked up Momiji. The little rabbit zodiac fell asleep leaning on Haru's shoulder not five minutes later. Tohru felt exhausted, both mentally and physically, but she refused to slow or let her fatigue show.

When Hatori and Kagura came into view, instead of being relieved, Tohru felt her panic rising. Kagura was curled on her knees, the fountain of tears streaming down her face were accompanied by quiet, near silent, sobs. Kagura wasn't the type to cry like that, not for much of anything. Tohru was secretly relieved that Momiji was asleep and couldn't witness this. While Shigure went to talk quietly with Hatori, Tohru knelt down to try and console the boar zodiac.

"I couldn't find him," she sobbed in a hushed, hoarse voice.

"It's okay Kagura, we didn't find them either," Tohru soothed as best she could given her own mind numbing worry.

"You don't understand!" The boar wailed in a heart broken manner, "This isn't just anyone, this is Kyo! My poor, poor Kyo! I failed him!"

"No, no, no, it's okay! It's not your fault!" Tohru said quickly, waving her hands dismissively at Kagura's cry. The girl just hoped that the boar's noise wouldn't wake up Momiji, the rabbit deserved to get some well deserved, worry free sleep even if the others couldn't have the same luxury.

"Kagura, enough of your nonsense. Get on your feet, we're going back to the house," Hatori snapped, his patience shortened by his worry.

Tohru helped Kagura to get up and the two clung to each other for the duration of the journey back. The boar tried to stifle quiet sobs on the way, but was unsuccessful. The mile or so back seemed to take the longest amount of time in Tohru's opinion. Maybe it was because of her extreme wariness or maybe it was because she had to half support an emotionally imbalanced boar.

"The lights are on," Shigure suddenly said thus breaking the heavy silence.

Kagura was instantly gone from Tohru's side and pelting for the house like she hadn't been trekking out in the woods for hours. Shigure and Hatori were running too, but Tohru was too tired. She just couldn't seem to get herself to run though she was walking a great deal faster. Haru stayed with her saying that he didn't want to wake Momiji up with his movements.

They entered the house to find it strangely... quiet. Tohru's brows furrowed as she and Haru looked around, confusion clear on his face as well. Then it happened, an earth shattering scream belonging to Kagura sounded from up the stairs causing both of them to cringe and Momiji to wake up with a yelp. Tohru shared a brief glance with Haru before sprinting madly up the stairs, her heart petrified at what she'd find.

"WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING ME?!" Kagura's voice screamed from within the barrier of Yuki's room.

Tohru got to the door just as Hatori was pushing the boar roughly away from the bed, "Be quiet Kagura! You're not helping anyone by having a fit!"

Yuki was there, sitting cross legged on his bed with a small mountain of blankets in his lap. Tohru could have smiled in relief at seeing one of her missing friends, but he looked unusually stricken. Yuki wasn't the type to panic, he always kept a level head no matter the situation. But now, now he looked like he was on the verge of breaking in half.

That's when she noticed it. The small, too small, orange ball of fur curled within the blankets on Yuki's lap. The human girl's breath caught in her throat, Kyo wasn't moving. He hadn't even stirred from Kagura's screaming.

"How long has he been like this?" Hatori demanded, removing the blanket that was covering Kyo's lifeless body.

Tohru's eyes widened and she had to bite back the scream that threatened to break free. Kyo's ribs stuck out like knives, his normally sleek fur was mottled and dirtied. This almost didn't even seem to be Kyo, at least not the Kyo she had come to openly adore during her stay with the Sohma family.

Her body trembled as she bit down another scream. One of Kyo's back legs was crooked at an impossible angle. Yuki may have looked like he was on the verge of breaking in half, but Kyo, he looked like he already had broken in two.

And... she couldn't see the small cat's sides moving. She couldn't see Kyo breathing.

The thought that Kyo might not be alive anymore caused her eyes to roll back and she collapsed heavily to the floor.

"Haru, will you take her to her room please," Shigure said having witnessed Tohru's sudden collapse. Normally the dog would have tended to her himself, but he had more pressing matters threatening to send him to an early grave.

"Yuki!" Hatori snapped forcing the rat's pale face to turn to him, "Answer me dam it! How long has he been like this?"

Yuki gaped, the words seemingly caught in his throat, "Uhh, e-ever since I f-found him." Then Yuki seemed to snap out of it and his violet eyes widened owlishly with a level of worry and distress Shigure had never seen before. "I don't know what to do! I got him to swallow some broth but it didn't seem to help and he's still in a cold sweat, I think he might have a fever! And I think his leg might be broken, for heaven's sake DO SOMETHING!"

At that point, Shigure could have been blown over with a feather. There were a few things that Yuki never did, stutter and yell were two of them. The fact that he'd done both of them in one breath only helped to prove how desperate the situation was.

Hatori knelt on the floor next to the bed to begin examining Kyo and Shigure went past the man so that he could stand beside Yuki. The rat's normally pale complexion was a ghostly pale and the dark circles beneath his eyes made his expression seem haunted. Wait, it didn't seem haunted, it was haunted. Without hesitating, Shigure put a comforting hand on Yuki's shoulder but the other didn't even seem to notice the gesture.

"Move your hand," Hatori said to Yuki as his examination continued.

The fingers of Yuki's right hand curled themselves deeper into Kyo's sodden fur and Yuki's answering glare made both older men flinch, "Work around it."

"Is Kyo going to be okay?" Momiji asked while peering over Hatori's shoulder trying to get a better view of the cat in question.

But Hatori didn't answer.

Shigure felt Yuki tremble under his hand during the prolonged silence.

"Answer him!" Yuki yelled, surprising them all with his fierceness.

The dog had expected the weeping Kagura to break the awkward quiet, but upon looking up, Shigure found her huddled with her knees pulled to her chest in the corner of the room, shoulders quaking with suppressed sobs. Yuki, on the other hand, was glaring daggers at Hatori who refused to meet the rat's blazing violet eyes. Momiji seemed lost, the poor thing didn't fully understand what was going on and why his question had caused such drastic reactions.

"It's took early to tell," Hatori finally rasped, trying his best to meet Yuki's formidable gaze. "His back leg isn't broken, just dislocated. I'll have to pop it back into place so keep a good hold on him."

Yuki nodded and Haru came back into the room to pick Momiji up so the rabbit could actually see something. Throughout his life, Shigure had seen and heard many things that he would never wish on another human being or zodiac member. So he thought that at this point in his life there wasn't anything that could get to him. He was wrong.

The sickening snap and grind of Kyo's bone being put back into place make the dog's stomach twist and clench is disgust. But that was nothing compared to the pained, unearthly yowl that strangled its way up Kyo's throat. Shigure knew that he would never forget that sound, it would forever be imprinted in his nightmares. Yuki shook violently under Shigure's hand and the rat looked as sick as the dog himself felt.

Momiji had started crying so Haru had taken him from the room, but Shigure had barely noticed. He only had eyes for the small orange cat that had gone unnaturally quiet and still.

"Kagura, go get my med kit from downstairs!" Hatori yelled, turning to the small girl who still wasn't moving. "Now!"

His tone startled her into motion and she left the room faster than what might be thought possible. Shigure could tell something was dreadfully wrong. Hatori never just yelled like that without just cause.

"He's not breathing," Yuki choked in a hushed voice sounding like the realization had just struck him. "DAM IT HATORI HE'S NOT BREATHING, DO SOMETHING!"

Shigure's eyes locked with Hatori's and the dog found the confirmation he hadn't wanted to see. Kagura returned then with the bag and Hatori removed a small syringe from the side pocket. The safety cap was removed and the needle was buried within Kyo's skin in less than a second. The next few moments were the most nerve wracking ones Shigure had ever experienced in his whole life as they all held their breath. Yuki's body was trembling so bad that Shigure had to put both of his hands on the younger's shoulders to help steady him. Kagura whimpered from somewhere in the back but Shigure ignored it, his eyes were glued to the cat.

Then, finally, their silent prayers were answered. Kyo's sides heaved and a wrenching cough escaped his throat. As awful as the cough was though, it sent relief through the room like a blanket for that cough symbolized life.

"I think the sudden pain must have been just too much for his body to handle given the state it's in," Hatori said as he went back to his examination.

Shigure felt Yuki's shoulders slump with relief as he leaned farther over Kyo's body. The dog felt his own legs go weak with relief and he suddenly didn't want to be standing anymore, it didn't feel all that stable. So, he sat down on the edge of the bed to fix the problem while still having both hands attached to Yuki's terse shoulders.

Hatori went about his business by pulling another syringe from his bag. Shigure recognized this one as an antibiotic and noticed that Kyo didn't even flinch from the small bite of the needle. Kyo had always had a strong dislike of needles, but he seemed to be so completely out of it that he couldn't feel much of anything. Last, Hatori produced a third shot, this ones needle was much thicker than the previous ones'.

"This sedative should help him get some real sleep," Hatori murmured to himself.

A short while after the ministration, Kyo's pained pants began to even out to a drug induced coma. The wounds were bandaged by the skilled zodiac member and some antiseptic was used to fight infection. Hatori's nimble fingers then probed in different places all over Kyo's body and eventually, Hatori seemed to come to some sort of conclusion.

"I've done all I can for him for the time being, there doesn't seem to be any broken bones, but the fever is something to be concerned about. I propose round the clock surveillance for now, just to be on the safe side. For all we know, his heart could decide to give out again at any moment."

Shigure nodded after Yuki did and Hatori went about checking up on Yuki next. The dog could tell that it was easier on Hatori to have a patient that could actually talk to him and tell him if something was definitely wrong. The check up was quick and to the point. After a brief once over and an antibiotic shot, Yuki was finished.

"You're tired so get some rest and we'll talk about what happened tonight in the morning, okay?"

Yuki nodded and was unable to stop the yawn that unwillingly ensued after the comment of sleep. Shigure felt like he could collapse with relief, but another look at Kyo made that relief vanish. The cat was far from within the safety zone of a full and complete recovery to good health.

That's when Hatori made the mistake of trying to remove the slumbering cat from his current position in Yuki's lap.

The warning glare glazing over Yuki's eyes contained a dangerous possessiveness that Shigure hadn't thought Yuki capable of... until now, that is. Over the years of living with Shigure, Yuki had never shown enough attachment or interest in something to be possessive of it. Shigure would never make the mistake of thinking that ever again.

Exhaustion forgotten, the rat's right hand curved even more around Kyo's sleeping form and his left hand found a place to gently attach itself to Kyo's damp chest, "He's fine right where he is."

The hand Hatori had managed to position under Kyo's belly had paused, unsure of what to do. Shigure gave Yuki's shoulders a squeeze, but the action was ignored. Despite Yuki's death glare, Hatori tempted fate by using his one hand to lift Kyo's feeble body upward. But this time, there was something other than Yuki's hands keeping Kyo in place. Somehow, even in the state that he was in, Kyo had extended his claws and dug them as deeply as he could into the blanket.

"Well Hatori, I think Yuki isn't the only one that thinks Kyo is fine where he's at," Shigure said in awe, not entirely understanding what was transpiring.

Hatori was quick to remove his hand and get up to take a step back, "Yuki, you're in no condition to stay up and watch over him like he needs."

Haru then strode into the room intent on going to Yuki's rescue on this one, "It's okay, I'll keep first watch."

Shigure stood up when Haru motion for him to move and the younger quickly took his place behind Yuki thus supporting the rat's weight. In the position that he was, Haru was able to both give Yuki something to lean back on and see Kyo clearly over the rat's shoulder.

"Where's Kagura?" Shigure asked, noticing for the first time that the boar was missing.

Haru made sure Yuki was comfortable before answering, "Sleeping with Tohru and Momiji in Tohru's room. Her and Momiji were both so tired and emotionally spent that it didn't take them long to pass out."

"Thank you Haru," Shigure breathed not even trying to hide how truly grateful he was for the younger's dependence. "You sure you'll be okay for first watch?"

"Yeah, no sweat," Haru replied with a staggering confidence.

Hatori nodded, "Alright, one of us will be in to relieve you in a few hours."

Shigure followed Hatori out of the room after turning off the light and shut the door behind them.

"You'd better go get some rest too," Hatori advised. "Especially since you'll be keeping second watch."

"Thanks for the nomination," Shigure said dryly though in reality, he didn't really mind. "About Kyo...."

"I don't want to talk about that right now," Hatori snapped with a stern gaze.

It was clear to Shigure that Hatori was truly shaken about what had happened and needed some time to get some control over his fleeting emotions. Shigure himself was still extremely rattled and was having trouble conceiving that fact that they'd almost lost a family member.

"I'll be in my office," Shigure said as he felt his carefully placed walls begin to crumble.

Hatori nodded and didn't follow the dog as he hurried off to his office. Once alone, Shigure let loose. He sat on the couch and all the pent up emotions that he'd been trying to keep secure and out of sight came flowing forward. He wept silently, tears spilling over his cheeks to fall in a salty splash to the wooden floor below.

Never had he felt such an intense fear as losing a family member like that. He'd seen Kyo slowly deteriorating right before his very eyes, but he hadn't done anything. He'd just stood by and let it happen, let Kyo destroy himself into the sorry state he was in.

Eventually, Shigure's tired body couldn't take anymore and he slumped over to lay on his side to fall into an uncomfortable sleep. The idea of not knowing if Kyo was going to make a full recovery plagued every thought even in his dreams.

**_Would that be considered a cliffy? I honestly don't know. So did you like it?!?! Am I forgiven for my lapse of not updating which I still feel bad about?!?! Anywho, the next chapter will bring some good old fashioned fun and ANGST!!! lol Gotta love the angst ^_^_**

**_Let me know what you think and review this fic that is taking twists that not even I expected haha_**

**_REVIEW!!_**


	9. Chapter 9

**_Yet another epic instalment! Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and I hope you enjoy the chapter!!! *hugs*_**

**CHAPTER NINE**

**YUKI:**

I stayed up for as long as I possibly could. Each time I tried to close my eyes, I kept picturing that Kyo would stop breathing again and my eyes would snap back open. My hands stayed clasped gently in his fur and though I could feel his chest moving up and down, I needed to reassure myself by seeing it with my own eyes. I don't think my heart could take another scare like that. My whole body had been overcome with such unbelievable dread and mind numbing fear, it was awful.

"Please try and get some sleep Yuki, you look exhausted," Haru whispered from his place behind me.

I didn't say anything at first, I didn't know where to begin. What could I possibly say that would explain how I was feeling for the orange bundle in my lap. Would Haru understand the chaos and conflicting emotions within my mind?

"I can't sleep yet Haru," I supplied lamely.

Haru was the one that knew me the best because of his old infatuation with me, so I was pretty sure he knew that there was something seriously wrong with me. The possibility became a certainty when he grabbed my shoulders and gave them a comforting squeeze.

"It's okay, I won't let anything happen to him or you under my watch."

I was torn. I wanted to trust him, to believe that nothing would happen because Haru would be keeping guard. My eyes felt heavy, like my eyelashes were made of lead. I knew I wouldn't be of any use to anyone later if I forced myself to stay awake. What I didn't know was if my worried and troubled mind would even let me sleep.

"At least try," Haru urged as if he were reading my thoughts.

Eventually, I nodded and said, "I'll try, but I can't promise anything. Just help me lay back and we'll see what happens."

I felt Haru get up and then he came into my field of vision. Without speaking he prodded my chest gently to try and push me back, but I wasn't going without Kyo. I removed my hands from his fur and picked up the blanket he was on with meticulous slowness to make sure I didn't disturb him. I set him on the bed next to me and laid back, stretching my legs out in the process. Both of my knees cracked and my leg muscles flexed in gratitude as blood began to circulate once again in the appendages.

A content sigh left my lips as soon as my head hit the soft, downy pillow. I rolled over onto my side and pulled Kyo to my chest until his whole body was pressed against me and I felt his furry forehead under my chin. I didn't care that Haru was watching as I rested my arm around Kyo and cupped the back of his head in my hand so I could run my thumb over his velvety soft ear. Haru grabbed the chair from my desk and moved to bring it over to the bed, but I stopped him.

"You can sit on the bed if you'd like Haru, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

But he only shook his head and continued to move the chair until it was set up right next to the bed, "That's not a good idea. If I get too comfortable, I know I'll fall asleep and I most definitely don't want to do that right now."

I offered a grateful smile before my eyes drifted closed on their own accord. I wasn't sure how long I was asleep, but the next time I woke, the sun was up and Shigure was the one sitting next to me on the chair Haru had pulled up earlier. The dog looked frazzled at best, with his hair askew the way it was and the paler tone of his skin, he looked much older than he actually was. Like the previous night had literally taken years off his life with worry. And for that, I felt bad, guilty even.

"Morning," I ventured, trying to get his attention for at the moment, he only had eyes for Kyo.

He startled at my voice, then gave we a wry smile, "More like afternoon."

I glanced outside, but looked away immediately, it was far too bright out for my taste. I always preferred to stay out of the sun if I could, I burned easily with my pale complexion. Which was a shame, because I'd always liked the sun. I was always more like the moon though, elusive and shrouded in darkness. Ah, to be the rat....

"I had no idea, what time is it then?" I asked, my voice sounding tired and raspy from yelling the night before. Or would it be considered early in the morning? Pah, it didn't matter, my throat still felt raw having never yelled like that before.

"Five."

I could feel my eyes widen, I'd nearly slept the whole day! I couldn't remember a time I'd ever done something like that either. Not even when I was sick!

"How are you feeling?" Shigure asked to change the subject since he'd obviously seen my inner distress.

I didn't answer right away, instead, I looked at Kyo. My arm was draped over him, pulling him as close to me as he could possibly get. His breathing seemed less pained, but that could have been because of the drugs Hatori had given him earlier. Gods he was so small, fragile even. I never thought I'd use the word _fragile_ to describe the vivacious cat that was Kyo. Yet here he was, letting me cradle him to me while he struggled for each and every breath.

I ghosted my thumb over his ear and was surprised when it flicked at my touch, it was almost like he was shooing away a pesky fly. It was such an innocent and reflexive movement, it was... undeniably cute. Despite myself, I actually felt a small smile creep onto my lips. And when one of his front legs twitched a little, perhaps from a dream he was having, I knew I was smiling like a fool. Kyo wasn't even trying and yet I found I couldn't take my eyes off his sleeping form.

I realized suddenly that Kyo was actually a really good looking cat. Then I felt guilty for not having noticed it before. Wounds and malnutrition aside, he was built to perfection. His bone structure was the picture of feline anatomy and he had a strong physique. I was actually impressed by the muscles, thin as he was, that sharpened his features. I found myself admiring him, disarrayed orange coat and all.

"Umm, Yuki?"

I nearly yelped when Shigure's voice startled me from my musings. I'd completely forgotten both that he was sitting there and that he'd asked me a question earlier. Whoops....

"Oh, erm, I'm fine. Has Hatori been in recently to check on Kyo?"

He gave me a strange look, one which I had no idea what he was thinking. As soon as it was there though, it was gone.

"Well now that you're awake, I can go get him if you'd like."

I nodded instantly and watched Shigure get up and leave. No sooner had he gone, I had a visitor creeping into my room. The way Momiji was walking told me that he'd been ordered to stay away, but in usual bunny fashion had decided to disobey. Sighing, I sat up and ever so gently put Kyo back into my lap. He must have been heavily drug induced because he neither stirred nor gave any indication that he knew he was being moved.

"Hi Yuki," Momiji said quietly in a small, hushed whisper that only a child could pull off.

"Hello Momiji," I greeted and gave him a slight smile to let him know it was okay for him to be in my room talking to me.

He smiled and came quickly to the edge of the bed so he could get a better view of Kyo. The look on his face flitted between worry and curiosity. It was hard not to find his childish fascination amusing.

"Can I touch him?"

I bit my lip so hard to stop the snarl which threatened to come out that it actually started to bleed. My sudden fierce reaction startled me and Momiji took a small step back looking unsure of himself. He must of seen the look of murder in my eyes, what was going on with me? All he'd asked was if he could touch Kyo, there was no harm in that, right? Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself and forced all emotion away.

"It's alright Momiji, go ahead," I said calmly, finding the words hard to say for some reason.

The rabbit looked uncertain, but his curiosity won out in the end. He moved forward slowly and I watched his every move like a hawk. Luckily, he was only looking at Kyo and didn't notice me gauging every inch of his motion. Momiji moved his right hand out slowly and ran his fingers down the back of Kyo's neck. I breathed a silent sigh of relief when Kyo remained sleeping and didn't seem to notice the touch.

"He's cold," the child said quietly, removing his hand and looking at it with wide eyes.

"Not as cold as he was yesterday."

Ever the optimist, Momiji exclaimed, "Well that's good!"

Now normally, I would have just simply agreed with him and that would be the end of it. But he'd spoken so loud that Kyo curled into a tighter ball in what I assumed was his way of showing discomfort. My usual patience with Momiji snapped and I was about to glare a death sentence at the rabbit when there was a small rapt at the door. We both turned to find Shigure and Hatori standing in the doorway with odd looks on their faces, how long had they been there? After studying them for a moment longer, I was certain they'd seen me nearly bite Momiji's head off for asking to touch Kyo. This wasn't good.....

"I'll be going now," Momiji said and left in haste, clearly hoping he wouldn't get in trouble for breaking the rules. The two older men walked in and stopped at the bedside.

"How are you feeling Yuki," Hatori asked, all business.

"Worn out and sore, but fine."

"I'm going to have to do a full check up anyway, you know that."

I frowned at that and motioned at Kyo, "Can't it wait?"

"I should probably check you first."

My frown deepened, this didn't make sense. Kyo was by far more worse off than I was, that much was painfully obvious. The poor cat didn't even have enough energy to either regain consciousness or return to his human form. So then why was Hatori pushing so hard that I be checked out first and foremost?

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks: Kyo was the cat. The snarl I'd managed to subdue earlier came tumbling from my lips as my eyes narrowed dangerously. My hands coiled themselves in Kyo's fur while my back went rigid. I'd never felt this strongly about anything before, and the feeling sort of startled me. But that didn't show in any of my features as I pinned them with a stare of loathing and fathomless anger.

"I don't care what Akito would want, Kyo is just as much a part of the family as I am," I seethed through clenched teeth.

Hatori looked stricken, "I'm sorry Yuki. You know how Akito is, I'm just following instruction."

"Forget his orders," I snapped back. "Do what's right for once."

I knew it wasn't entirely his fault, he was just following orders. But still, it pissed me right off.

"You're right, I'm sorry. May I have a look at Kyo now?"

To his credit, he really did look sorry. And even though I was still mad, I nodded my agreement. My gaze was like a laser when he began undoing the bandages on Kyo's body. Watching the cat made all my anger dissipate, vanish like it had never been there to begin with. Pity and guilt took its place and I was glad Kyo was drugged so he wouldn't feel Hatori's prodding. I wouldn't let Hatori move him either, I made sure that I was the one who did that. Whether it was lifting his head so Hatori could listen to Kyo's heart or shifting him so Hatori could remove a bandage, I did it.

"Shigure, go fill up the bath tub. Make sure the water isn't too hot, just lukewarm," the doctor ordered, brows furrowed in concentration.

Once Shigure had left, I raised a brow, "What's the bath for?"

"Because of all his fur I can't really tell if he has anymore cuts other than the obvious ones. A bath will ensure that all the scrapes, visible or not, get cleaned."

I nodded, it made perfect sense. In fact, I actually thought it was a good idea. I felt a little gritty myself and I considered taking a bath at some point also. My clothes were pretty much a mess and were in desperate need of a washing. But I wasn't going to let go of Kyo yet, I couldn't bring myself to even consider that.

When Shigure returned, I picked Kyo up gently, leaving the blankets behind. Hatori helped me get out of bed by supporting me by my upper arm closest to him. My legs felt a little wobbly, but strong enough to get me to the bathroom. The walls were moist with perspiration from the heated water and a thin fog wafted up from the liquid in the tub. The warmer air felt really good, I was still pretty cold from the night before and Kyo wasn't much better off. Kagura was shadowing our every move and I was thoroughly relieved when Haru basically tackled her to get her away.

"Alright, give him to me and let's see what we can do," Hatori suggested, holding out his hands expectantly.

I don't know what was wrong with me, but I found myself glaring at him. I didn't say anything, I thought that what I felt about his little idea was pretty damn clear. But just to make sure he understood just how serious I was, I stepped into the tub and sat down, clothes and all. Quite honestly, I don't think they could have looked more surprised and confused then they did in that instant. I held Kyo high on my chest so he wasn't in the water yet, I was unsure how he'd react to it, cats hated water after all. Though Kyo had never complained about a shower before.... Guh, there was so much stuff I didn't know about that I should know considering I've been living in the same house with him for months now!

"Tell me what to do," I said when they were still gaping, slack jawed at me.

Hatori cleared his throat loudly, "I guess the best place to start would be by putting him in the water, yes?"

I nodded and did as suggested. Kyo was surprisingly receptive to it. He didn't thrash about or dig his claws into my skin, he was strangely calm. I lowered him down until his whole body was submerged, but I put his chin on the underside of my elbow to ensure that his head wouldn't dip beneath the surface. Hatori handed me the shampoo, he didn't need to tell me what to do on that aspect, it was pretty obvious. I squeezed a quarter sized blob into my palm and lifted him back out of the water so I could begin methodically running my fingers through the drenched orange fur.

When he was thoroughly nothing more than a big ball of suds, I put his body back into the water. I didn't care that my clothes were getting wet and sudsy, they needed to be cleaned anyway. The water turned a milky color as the soap was washed out. No conditioner was used, his fur was short and didn't exactly need the untangling effect that the conditioner provided. I was extremely careful when massaging around the visible cuts, no doubt the shampoo made them sting. But if Kyo was in any discomfort, he didn't show it. Whenever I had a problem with one of the cuts, Hatori was there to tell me what to do to ensure that it was cleaned properly. As a last order of business, once I was sure that there wasn't anymore shampoo in his coat, I unplugged the drain to let the dirtied water escape.

"Yuki, maybe you should take a shower as well while you're already here," Hatori suggested, grabbing a nearby clean towel for Kyo.

This suggestion didn't sit too well with me, because that meant I'd have to part with my now constant companion. I wasn't quite willing to do that just yet.

Haru walked through the door with a huff and took the towel from Hatori before facing me, "Now you're just being stubborn. Give Kyo to me and I'll take great care of him until you come back. And I promise not to go black or let anyone else so much as touch him, okay?"

I studied him, still not sure if that was such a great idea. The logic that I was both already wet and in the bathroom won out in the end despite myself. I nodded and carefully placed Kyo into the open towel that Haru was offering. The instant Kyo left my hands, however, his claws had found and sunk into Haru's skin getting a few low curses from the cow. It was obvious the cat wasn't conscious, but the whole thing brought a small smile to my face. He hadn't clawed me and I'd been the one that had put him in the water, how odd.

Shigure reappeared and set some clean clothes down next to the sink for me along with a fresh towel. I had to admit, if only to myself, a shower certainly did sound good. A quick one though, I didn't think Haru could stand being scratched like that for too long without turning black.

"I'll be out in a few then," I said and waited for them to leave the room before stripping and turning on the shower head.

It felt better than great to clean myself having been dirty for so long. But, as predicted, it was the shortest shower I'd ever taken in my entire life. In less than ten minutes, I was clean, dried, and clothed. It was almost comically easy to find out which room Haru was in when I left the bathroom because of Kagura's relentless bickering. She silenced herself, however, when I sent a glare her way upon entering the room. Haru was sitting on the couch, slowly rubbing the towel in slow circles to help dry the orange fur beneath it. I was strangely pleased to find a few more scratches on Haru's arms than there had been before, it gave me some sort of satisfaction to know that Kyo had yet to sink his claws into my skin.

It appeared that near everyone save Hatori was in the room too. I nearly got attacked by Tohru as he bombarded me with questions I couldn't answer without asking a question in return.

"Are you hungry?"

_Has Kyo eaten?_

"Did you get enough sleep?"

_Is the cat awake yet?_

"How are you feeling?"

_How's Kyo doing?_

It went something like that, and though I kept my answers to myself, the conversation still went no where. I pushed past her and went straight for the increasingly agitated Haru. As he'd promised, no one had even come close to Kyo and Haru hadn't turned black... yet. He looked almost grateful when he disentangled the cat's claws and handed the toweled bundle back to me

"He's all yours, now where do you keep the damn band-aids?"

Once he was back in my arms, the cat relaxed and curled up into a ball. Haru glared at me, clearly on the verge of going black, but said nothing. I sat down on the couch, put Kyo in my lap, and began to slowly towel dry him off. Kagura was a complete spazz while watching me do this, jealousy flared brightly in her eyes, but she didn't dare mess with me. I was ignoring her anyway, I was far too intent on Kyo to notice her feeble attempts to intimidate me. Momiji and Tohru took a seat farther down on the couch, but I wasn't really paying attention. Kyo's breathing was a little stronger and less strained now and it was the only thing that filled my head.

"Where did Hatori run off to?" I asked about five minutes later, his absence having taken that long to register with me.

Shigure appeared by the armrest on my right, "Akito called him back to the house once it was reported that you were unharmed."

I froze in my ministrations and turned slowly to face the dog, "Are you kidding?"

He looked sad when he shook his head, "Afraid not. Hatori tried to get Akito to let him stay, but the head of the house would hear nothing of it. I'm sorry."

"This is ridiculous," I all but hissed. "I'm glad I left that hell hole when I did."

Haru moved quickly to kneel in front of me, various band-aids now lining along his arms, "It's okay Yuki, we should be able to take care of Kyo on our own. Hatori had already given him all the shots he'd need, so now we just have to wait and see what happens. For all we know, Kyo will wake up and other than being sore, will be just fine otherwise."

That thought both comforted me and filled me with dread. I _liked_ having Kyo so close, as strange as that sounds. The rat liked having the cat around, I must be suicidal or something! But his fur was like silk beneath my hand and now that he was clean, he positively glowed. It felt extremely satisfying to have the responsibility to look after someone else knowing that they're relying on you in some way or another.

"Do me a favor and go heat up some chicken broth for me and grab the dropper from my room," I said knowing that Kyo hadn't eaten yet.

Haru looked relieved and gladly went to do as I'd asked him. He returned not three minutes later with everything I needed, the sight of the band-aids even got me to smile a little bit. Getting Kyo to eat was a lot harder than it was the last time, I think it was because this time, he had at least some energy to resist with. I don't know, maybe it was just that he didn't like chicken broth or something. Seriously though, what kind of cat wouldn't like chicken broth?!?!

I'm pleased to say that he didn't claw at me, he only wriggled uncomfortably in my lap. No noise escaped his mouth and his eyes never opened. After five dropper fulls, he absolutely refused to take any more. I wasn't going to force him, and five was better than nothing, but still, the dropper wasn't really all that big. What was it with him that made him so stubborn??

All my frustrations evaporated in the instant that he curled up in my lap. How could I stay upset with such an adorable ball of fur? I would never say this out loud, of course, these particular thoughts and feelings would remain embedded in my mind. Yet the way Haru was looking at me, I was sure he knew what I was thinking, how could he though? It was then that I realized that I was smiling. Mortified, I wiped any emotion from my face and was thankful that only Haru had noticed anything. How could I have not known that I was _smiling?_ Seriously, of all the ridiculous things to do!

I blame fatigue.

I yawned and let my finger entwine themselves in silky orange fur. His whiskers twitched and I found myself smiling again. I suddenly didn't care if anyone noticed because that was by far the cutest thing I'd ever seen. I felt sort of pathetic really, one twitch of his whiskers and Kyo had me swooning.

I blame fatigue, again.

As if on queue, another yawn overcame me. I was falling asleep, that much was painfully obvious. Since I wasn't the type to sleep in a sitting position, I lifted Kyo, discarded the wet towel, and held him to my chest as I fell to my side. He didn't protest in the least and his tail somehow wrapped itself around my arm as if holding me in place. I ignored the others around me and only concentrated on Kyo's now rhythmic breathing. His steady heart beat filled my head like a drug and I was asleep almost instantly. The world was forgotten, it was only me and Kyo.

**_Kyo is soooo cute! I just want to grab a hold of him and never let go! Hope you all liked it, this chapter was oddly fun to write lol!_**

**_REVIEW please ^_^_**

**_REVIEWS just make my day._**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Okay, so we're finally making some progress in this chapter woooooot and it gets a tiny, TINY bit kinky.... XD oh joy!!! It was a lot of fun to write and I hope all of you enjoy it! Thank you to the ones that reviewed and even to the ones who didn't!!! You made this chapter be written all that much faster!!!**_

_**Random note: The 17th episode of Naruto should be called: Haku Talks on a Bridge **_

_**Special shout out to: PocketxFullxOfxDreams *hug* I heart you!! ^_^**_

**CHAPTER TEN**

**KYO:**

I had never felt so tired and exhausted in my whole life. My lungs burned with each breath and my throat felt swollen and overly sensitive. Different parts of my body seemed to have its very own heart beat because of the throbbing cuts and bruises. But even with all of that, I felt strangely... comfortable. There was a warmth that surrounded me and made things not seem so bad. It was like I was floating in bed of weightlessness that I'd never experienced before. I felt safe, like nothing could harm me. Now that was something I definitely hadn't felt in a very long while. If ever.

I'm not quite sure when my unconsciousness turned into sleep, but somewhere along the way I crossed that void and made the transition. My mind was groggy and I felt sort of dizzy as I drifted from dream to dream. Most of the visions didn't even make sense, they were so jumbled together that it was hard to tell what was really happening or supposed to be happening. At some point though, I got bored with not understanding anything and began moving towards wakefulness. It hurt, but at least it was real.

The room was dark as I slitted my eyes open, and I couldn't focus on anything so the whole room was nothing but one big, darkened blur. One thing remained utterly constant though, the warmth that enveloped me didn't fade like my dreams had. It was that same warmth that had made me feel so safe and secure, I was glad it didn't go away. I needed it and it felt incredible against my cold body. After giving my eyes a few minutes to adjust, I finally realized that I was in the living room. Things were still annoyingly blurry, but I was able to make out a few objects here and there. I must have been laying on the couch judging by the feeling of the fabric against my fur.

Wait.

My... fur?

I moved a front leg and sure enough, a paw came into view instead of a hand. Sighing, which was more like a weaze, I carefully shifted from my side so I could lay on my belly. The hurt parts of my body protested with fresh waves of pain, but I did my best to ignore them. Upon moving onto my stomach, I heard a soft grunt and the next thing I knew I was pulled closer to the warmth. I froze and my eyes suddenly focused with sharp clarity on one thing: Yuki.

Yuki was laying next to me.

We were on the couch.

I was pulled tightly to his chest.

His arm was draped over me, keeping me close.

He was sleeping.

And I was in cat form.

A very strange noise, one that could only be compared to a helium induced chipmunk's squeak, found its way through my now parted jaws. To my utter horror, he stirred at the sound. His brows furrowed as his eyes slowly fluttered open. I didn't know what to do! Should I pretend to be asleep? Should I claw his eyes out for humiliating me like this? Should I flee the scene before he could say anything?

I did none of those things. The instant Yuki's violet eyes opened, I lost every train of thought and could do nothing but hold his mesmerizing gaze. I'd never seen Yuki's eyes like this before, they were so open and so soft, it was like I was looking into his very soul. And oddly enough, I _liked_ what I saw. This was nothing like the Yuki I was used to, this was somebody completely different. He stared back at me seemingly just as transfixed as I was. In that moment, it was literally like we'd never met each other before.

"K-Kyo?"

Even his voice had a whole new feel to it. Yuki wasn't the type to stutter and he certainly wasn't the type to be unsure of himself, and yet he'd done both by merely saying my name. I was at a loss as to what to do. Hell, I didn't even know what in the blazes was going on.

"Yu--," I'd barely even gotten his name out when my throat clamped shut and I was sent into a fit of body wrenching coughs. My neck arched so that my mouth was pointed at the couch and each cough was like a fiery acid that coursed through my veins, it was so unbelievably painful! My body began to shake from both exhaustion and pain while I threatened to pass out again from the intensity of it all.

Yuki pulled me to him until my muzzle was pressed into his neck and he began running a hand along my spine to sooth me. Strangely, it worked. The coughs subsided and the tremors were slowly becoming less noticeable. But even when they were gone and my breathing was basically back to normal, Yuki still held me. He continued to pet me, his hand was gentle and smooth against my fur, I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel good. I quickly found myself breathing in time with him, matching each inhale and exhale perfectly. I could hear his heart beating and was lulled even more by the sound of it.

"Don't try to speak just yet, okay Kyo? I'll give you yes or no questions and you can just shake or nod your head in response. Alright?"

His quiet voice startled me a bit, me having been used to silence, but I was far too comfortable to move. I gratefully nodded, pleased beyond reason that I wouldn't have to try to speak again. It had felt like that last bout of coughing was trying to kill me. He felt me nod into his neck and he breathed what sounded to me like a sigh of relief, but I could have been imagining it.

"Are you in pain?" He asked softly, an uncharacteristic note of concern laced in his voice.

I nodded, I couldn't lie to him. Lying wasn't something I made a habit of doing and I wasn't going to start now.

"Do you want me to get you some pain killers?"

I shook my head as fiercely as I could, I hated relying on pills for anything. Besides, I could handle the pain, it was my own doing after all.

"Are you hungry or thirsty?"

I paused and really considered this. I wasn't ready to eat yet, though my stomach disagreed with me. Milk sounded incredibly good, the mere thought of it had my mouth watering. But, I knew if I nodded, Yuki would probably force me to eat something as well. And I was so comfortable, I didn't want either of us to move. So, I shook my head.

"Are you sure," he asked dubiously.

I surprised us both by sinking my teeth into the vulnerable flesh on his throat. It wasn't a hard bite, it wouldn't even leave an impression in his flawless skin. But the fact remained that I had actually _bitten_ Yuki, whose hand had frozen in the middle of my back. I let go quickly almost as quickly as I'd bitten and felt the skin beneath my fur heat up in a blush. I had no doubt that Yuki was blushing too, why in the hell did I do that?!?!

Yuki cleared his throat and his hand starting petting again, "Well, that answers that question. Do you know how you got back here to the house?"

I shook my head, I remembered absolutely nothing after falling into the creek.

"Honestly Kyo, what could you have been thinking to go all the way out there by yourself?"

Umm, that wasn't a yes or no question.

"You stupid cat you should have known better than that."

That wasn't even a question at all! Annoyed, I bit down on his neck again, if only to let him know that I wasn't in anywhere near the right mood to take being ridiculed. I felt him stiffen beneath my fangs, which once again had only bitten lightly, and his hand had frozen again on my back. When I let go, his body relaxed slowly while his hand remained motionless.

"You could have died out there Kyo, what kind of brainless idiot are you?"

The tip of my tail flicked in frustration as I latched my teeth for a third time in his skin. This bite was considerably harder, hard enough to leave an impression, but not draw blood. I really, really wasn't in the mood to talk about this, especially when I couldn't even speak! Yuki went stiff again and a poorly subdued moan escaped from him.

I froze and my eyes went wide. I'd never heard such a sound come from Yuki before, and had it... had it been filled with pleasure?? I let go and buried my muzzle into the crook of his neck, I was thankful I was a cat because then no one could tell that my skin was bright red. Of course, I couldn't be sure if I was right, but that sure as hell had sounded like a moan of _pleasure_. I must have imagined it. I was tired and had only just regained consciousness, I was hearing things. Yeah, that was it.

I blame fatigue.

"That's enough questions for one night, try to get some more rest Kyo."

An involuntary shiver ran down my spine when he said my name. He began petting me again, mistaking the shiver for something else, but I wasn't complaining. His free hand cupped the back of my head and his thumb followed the direction of the fur on my ear. My ear twitched on its own accord. For some reason, maybe it was because I was the cat, my ears were one of the most sensitive parts of my body, even when I was human. Yuki must have found my previous reaction amusing because he did the same thing again. Naturally, my ear twitched because I had absolutely no control over it.

Suddenly, taking me completely by surprise, he _grabbed _my ear. I began to bristle and was about to pull away when his thumb started moving in small, circular motions along the thin membrane. I immediately began to melt against him. Shit, it felt so good! I nearly lost my mind when I felt his nail gently dig in and massage the base of my ear. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, breathing in his scent with each lungful of air. A low rumbling filled the room and I felt Yuki pause when he heard it. I didn't want him to stop though, it felt so damn good!

My own pride forgotten because of my selfish desire to feel such bliss again, I gave a tiny mewl to try and voice my protest. Thankfully, he took the hint and began the massage again. Pleased, I rewarded him by letting my purr rumble through my chest again.

I'd never purred like this before, simply because I'd never had a reason to.

It felt good to have a reason to.

"Sleep now Kyo, I'll be here when you wake up."

I should be yowling at him and tearing at his skin with my claws, but I couldn't do either of those. I was in such a state of comfort, I don't even know how to describe it. I was actually safe for once, I was being looked after by someone else. I was so used to having to watch out for myself that I forgot what this felt like. This sense of security. But this _Yuki!_ I really should be biting hard enough to leave scars in his flesh and squirming to get as far away from his as possible, but I wasn't.

I blame fatigue, again.

* * *

"Are you sure he was awake this morning? It could have just been a dream you know."

"I know it wasn't a dream Shigure! He was awake, he even tried to speak! I'm not making this up!"

Their voices woke me up, pulling me out of the best nights sleep I'd ever gotten. The warmth was still there, but farther away. No, wait, it was beneath me.... My eyes snapped open and I found myself curled up in Yuki's lap.

"Well look who decided to join the land of the living," Shigure cooed happily, leaning over me with one of his foolish grins. "Do you even know how many times we've tried to wake you up since Yuki had told us you'd regained consciousness?"

I minutely shook my head, my eyes were large as my mind tried to keep up with all that was going on. The hardest thing to come to terms with was that I was in Yuki's lap of all places!!

"It's almost noon," Yuki explained quietly, his voice a whisper compared to Shigure's obnoxious chatter. "We tried waking you, but you were unresponsive. Shigure was just about ready to call Hatori when you finally woke."

I shifted into a different position so that I was laying down instead of curled up on my side. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I realized that we weren't the only ones in the room. And suddenly, their voices began pounding themselves into my skull. Why hadn't I noticed all of them before?? They were so damn noisy!!

"KKKKYYYYOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Kagura yelled from the hall where Haru was trying to wrestle with her to keep her out of the living room. "IT'S OKAY KYO! I'M HERE! I WON'T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU! I'LL ALWAYS BE BY YOUR SIDE!"

"I swear Kagura, you can't be mad at me when I go black on you," Haru seethed quietly as he continued in his attempts to keep her at bay.

"Thank goodness you're awake Kyo! We were all so worried," Momiji chirped from farther down the couch.

Tohru was next to him looking positively frantic, "Are you hungry? Would you like me to make you something to eat? Or perhaps you'd like something to drink instead? Wait, wait, maybe you want both?"

Momiji had never stopped talking this whole time, "I got to touch your fur once when you were sleeping! You were so cold, but your fur was so soft!"

"KYO MY LOVE! PLEASE SAY SOMETHING! I WANT TO HEAR YOUR BEAUTIFUL VOICE!"

It was all just too much for me. Their ramblings made my head spin and my ears thrum, my sensitive hearing picked up more than just their annoying voices. The birds twittering outside, the grass swishing in the breeze all throughout the yard, the ticking of the clock wall. It seemed like it was all mocking me in some way, like the inanimate objects somehow knew I wasn't feeling well and were therefore hell bent on making me even more miserable.

Unconsciously, my body crumpled into itself, making me appear much small than I actually was. Despite myself, I was cringing, trying to disappear to a place where those noises wouldn't be able to get to me. My eyes were shut tight, my ears were laid back firmly against my head, and my tail wrapped itself around my body in an attempt to keep me from falling apart. I suddenly didn't care that I was perched on Yuki's lap, quite frankly, that was the least of my many worries. I could feel the fur along my spine bristling, but not in agitation, in discomfort.

Then, there was a cool hand on my back just below my shoulder blades, gently pressing the wily fur down again. The warmth went out from beneath me and was pressed against my side. I was... moving. Or rather, I was being moved. I didn't dare open my eyes for fear that I would get sick and that everything would be spinning uncontrollably. Finally, there was a click of a door and things were quiet. Not completely silent, but quiet enough that I could get my bearings. The thing that I was most acute to, however, was the sound of Yuki's breathing as his chest went up and down next to my cheek.

"It's alright Kyo, things should be better for you now," Yuki said in the most convincing of voices.

I slitted my eyes open to find that we were in the kitchen. I was grateful to be away from all the unnecessary noise which I could still vaguely hear even though there was a wall between me and them. Yuki went to the fridge and I was all but drooling when he pulled out the milk. My eyes grew wide with longing as I stared at the glass container he held so precariously in his hand. I was only minutely aware of the kitchen door opening and closing in the background.

"Not thirsty, are you Kyo?" The rat teased and I gulped audibly to dampen my now dry throat that yearned for the white substance that would sustain it.

"Quit messing with him Yuki and just let him have it," Shigure scolded, startling both of us.

He set the milk on the counter, closed the fridge, and pulled out a bowl from an overhanging cupboard. My eyes never left the container of milk. The outside of the glass was collecting beads of perspiration from the change in temperature and I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in the milk's wonderful taste. How long had it been since I had any of my favorite drink? It felt like forever. Finally, after what felt like ages, Yuki went to the table and set my now milk filled bowl down. He then used both hands to gently set me down in front of it.

My legs instantly gave out once Yuki's hands were gone and I found myself flat on my stomach facing the bowl. It felt like there were lead weights at the ends of each paw and it was keeping me from tasting my precious milk! This just wouldn't do! I was so incredibly thirsty that if felt like my swollen throat was literally on fire! But I couldn't get my legs to move, they weren't strong enough to lift my thin body and move it the mere inch that separated me from the bowl.

I stretched my neck out as far as I possibly could.

I wiggled.

I struggled.

But it was no use, I couldn't get any closer than that. My tail lashed out behind me as the cat version of a growl came rolling from my chest, this was just too frustrating!

Right when I was about ready to spontaneously combust with anger, a pale hand came into view and pushed the bowl until it was right under my nose. I was able to stave off my yearnings long enough for me to cast a glance in Yuki's direction. He was sitting down with his elbows propped up on the table while his head rested in his raised hands. His head was tilted slightly to the side and those amethyst eyes were gleaming with something... compassion? Adoration? Sympathy? Amusement?

To hell with it, I didn't know.

I turned my attention back to the milk and unceremoniously began lapping it up with greed I never knew I was capable of. Ravenous, that was the only word that kept going through my mind while I swallowed mouthful after delicious mouthful. I guess, when it comes right down to it, I am a complete milk whore.

I stopped drinking and cocked my head to one side, staring at my refelction, _A milk whore? Did I seriously just think that? Feh, I must be out of my feline mind!!_

"Is everything alright Kyo?" Shigure asked, he was standing just behind Yuki and was watching just as closely as the rat was.

In answer, I went back to lapping up the cool liquid without passing them a glance. The milk soothed my throat, making the swelling go down a little, but just a little. It filled my small stomach quickly, but even though I was full, I kept drinking until every drop was gone. Even when it was licked clean, I ran my tongue over my chops just in case I 'd missed a drop. Gods, maybe I really was a milk whore....

_What is wrong with me?!_ I berated myself, tossing my head from side to side to clear the thought away for good.

"More?" Yuki inquired with an amused look on his face.

I immediately shook my head. The milk had been good, excellent, but I was now so full that my stomach physically ached. Having a full belly actually made me feel incredibly tired. My jaws parted in a yawn and I felt my tongue curl with the action. My legs still wouldn't move no matter what I did to try and persuade them. I wanted to stand and perform a classic feline back arching stretch, but that seemed to be out of the question. Damn it!

"Well, now that you're awake, we have a lot to talk about Kyo," Shigure said, but I was hardly paying attention.

My eyelids were getting heavy and suddenly, a cat nap sounded really, really good. My eyes drifted shut and seconds later the warmth was underneath me again. It took awhile for it to register thatI was most likely in Yuki's lap again, but this time, I didn't care. I was comfortable and the same sense of security enveloped me.

"Well, I was going to go call Hatori since he was awake, but I guess I'll have to wait a little bit before I do that."

Shigure's voice was distant to me as I curled into a ball. My nose was tucked into my folded legs and my tail wrapped itself around me. I guess sometimes, it was good to be a cat.

**_The next chapter will go back to Yuki's POV and it will get really, really, really, REALLY interesting! The next chapter is def more humor than angst and I think all of you will really like what I have planned XD_**

**_Now click the little green link below and REVIEW._**

**_Please 3_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Hello everyone! Soooooo this chapter was a lot longer than it was supposed to be... I hope that's alright...._**

**_More fluffy cuteness in cat form coming your way!!!_**

**_And someone makes an appearance... who could it possibly be!!_**

**_PocketxFullxOfxDreams pay attention to what they have for dinner XD gosh I'm such a nerd... anyway, everyone:_**

**_ENJOY!!_**

**ELEVEN**

**YUKI:**

"Is he asleep already?" Shigure asked, generally confused. When I nodded, he huffed, "That's just like Kyo! Sleep for hours, wake up, drink some milk, and fall asleep again!"

"Better he sleeps having gotten something in his stomach than be awake having done nothing to sate his hunger," I replied getting slightly annoyed with Shigure at the moment.

"Ah Yuki, ever the observant one!" The dog replied with one of those stupid grins he always seemed to have.

I opened my mouth to reply when there was a soft knock on the door. I had no idea who it was, but if they were loud and woke Kyo up after he'd just gone to sleep, there would be hell to pay. All the noise earlier had very nearly given me a headache. I couldn't only imagine how Kyo had been feeling when he'd been unfortunate enough to wake up to such raucous. Had Kagura gotten to him, I'm positive the stupid cat would have gone into cardiac arrest.

An involuntary chill ran up my spine then.

Why did the mere thought of Kyo going into something like cardiac arrest suddenly frighten me so much? Not too long ago, I doubt I honestly would have cared. When did that change?

Shigure answered the door and my eyes widened when Shishou walked in. I glanced at Kyo just to make sure he was still sleeping, I really wasn't sure how he'd react to his basic father showing up when Kyo was so banged up.

"Where is he?" Shishou demanded, concern etched on his face.

He was a little too loud for my taste and I scowled in answer. Shigure didn't say anything either, he only pointed at me which got a curious look from Shishou. It was obvious he didn't understand so I turned sideways in my chair and his eyes landed on the orange ball in my lap. His hand raised to cover his mouth and his eyes grew large with concern. Shishou took a step toward me, but thought better of it at the last minute and stopped. Then again, it could have been because I was glaring at him with the intent to kill....

"H-how is he?"

"Better, I guess. It's hard to tell, he hasn't spoken yet," I replied, my usual mask firmly in place.

"Hasn't spoken?"

My eyes narrowed a little, "He tried, but he ended up being consumed by a fit of coughing."

Kyo shifted a little on my lap and the simple action captured everyone's attention. I silently prayed he wouldn't wake up, I had no idea how his relations with Shishou were as of late. Luckily, he simply rolled over and nothing more. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, strangely, the other two did the same thing.

"Call Hatori," Shishou said giving Shigure a hard look.

"But he's asleep," the dog replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Shishou stormed out of the room, heading in the direction of the phone. Shigure went after him leaving me alone with Kyo once again. Quite frankly, that's the way I preferred it. A strange feeling consumed me then, one that I wasn't familiar with. In fact, I'd never felt if before in my whole life. It was a little unsettling, but not completely unpleasant. It was... bittersweet almost. Why couldn't I place it? Normally I was so in touch with my emotions, always having to keep them in check, but this one, it caught me off guard.

I stood up carefully, picking Kyo gently up as I did. I didn't want to be in the kitchen when they got back. I wanted to find a quiet spot and stay there, just me and Kyo. Why I wanted it to be just me and him, I wasn't sure. I was unsure of a lot of things lately and it was really starting to annoy me.

I snuck out into the hall and stole away up the stairs as fast as I could without jostling Kyo. Luck was on my side because neither Shishou nor Shigure saw or heard me. I could hear them talking and something, I don't know what, but something made me stop at the top of the stairs and listen. I wasn't a fan of eavesdropping or anything, but the way they were standing made me hide around the corner and listen in. Heightened senses really did come in handy at times like these.

"I'm... scared Shigure...."

Shishou, scared? The master of the dojo? What could he possibly be afraid of? Apparently the dog was just as lost as I was.

"What do you mean?"

I could hear Shishou shift from foot to foot before he answered quietly, "He hasn't come to see me. We haven't spoken since That Night two weeks ago."

"He hasn't gone to the dojo this whole time?" Shigure asked sounding as surprised as I felt.

Kyo always went to the dojo, sometimes on multiple occasions throughout the day. It was how he worked through his frustrations and burned some of his seemingly endless energy. To hear he hadn't gone in so long was unnerving. Kyo and the dojo, they just... made sense. They went together somehow, it was tough to explain.

"Shigure... does he... hate me?"

I held my breath while I waited for the dog to answer. What would he say? Did he know something about Kyo that I didn't? And why did the thought that he did bother me? Ugh! Emotions are such a nuisance! Still, Shishou had sounded so sad and sincere, he was really hurting because of this. It was easy to see why, I mean, he'd been Kyo's father figure for years now. I was always secretly envious of how close the two were, but I would never voice that to anyone. Heck, I hadn't even voiced it out loud to even myself.

"I don't know and I couldn't answer that for you even if I did know. This is something you need to take up with him and figure it out together," Shigure replied in all seriousness.

I peered around the corner and caught a glimpse of Shishou staring at the ground, he really did look torn up about it. I huffed at the sight and headed for the only place I could think of to go: my room. One part of me felt bad for Shishou while the other part thought that it served him right to feel as he did now. If he'd wanted to avoid feeling so guilty, he should have thought of the consequences _before_ he forced Kyo to change into his other form. I still didn't quite understand why Shishou had done that in the first place, why he had been so cruel and heartless. Kyo hadn't talked about That Night since it happened, not one word to anyone. Not even Tohru, I though for sure that she'd bring it up, but she never did. It was weird, like everyone was just trying to pretend that it hadn't happened.

But it had. And no one knew that better than Kyo. If I had to guess, I'd say that he'd gotten himself in the state he was now in because of it. But that was only a guess and I obviously couldn't be sure. Maybe I'd ask him about it when he wakes up. Then again... maybe I won't. That would be tough topic to talk about and knowing Kyo, he'd do everything in his power to avoid it. I can't even begin to imagine how betrayed he must have felt when Shishou took the black and white beaded bracelet off his wrist. Kyo had trusted Shishou with his life at the time, a stab in the back like that one had no doubt hurt him more than he'd ever admit. Stupid cat, always bottling up his emotions. But really, in the end, was I any different? I hid behind a mask all the time because I don't want people to see who I really am.

I entered my room and smiled to myself when I saw that Tohru had cleaned my sheets had remade my bed. She truly was a wonderful person, that I'd cherish for the rest of my life. Lately though, I hadn't been feeling the same way about her as I once had. I would always care for her and her infinite optimism, there was no doubt about that. There just didn't seem to be the same spark between us. I didn't find myself always thinking about her and how she was doing. No, I hadn't thought about her like that for weeks now. When had that changed? And why hadn't I noticed it?

I sighed, all this thinking was threatening to give me a headache. I could already feel the dull pain forming at the back of my skull. If I wasn't careful, I'd get a migraine and be no help to anyone. Sitting down on my bed, I leaned back on the headboard after putting my pillow in my lap and laying Kyo down on it. Despite his light weight, he sank into the downy pillow and curled up into a tighter ball. I decided right then and there that cats really were amusing creatures.

I ran my fingers lightly over the bandages and noted that one of them was tinged pink. Had he accidentally reopened one of his wounds? I forced myself to forget about it for now, Hatori would probably arrive soon and take care of it. There was no need to exert myself worrying about it just yet, it was only tinged slightly pink, so it must not have been a bad tear. I let my finger just barely skim over the tip of his ear and I couldn't help but chuckle when said ear involuntarily flicked. I felt like such a child by finding so much amusement out of it, but it really was funny! As if to prove the point, I did it again and was rewarded with another flick of his ear.

The night before – which was really extremely early this very morning – came back to me with stark clarity. My body warmed at the memory of how he'd purred. It was such a strong, wonderful sound, I definitely wanted to hear it again. Why did I want him to purr for me again? I don't have the slightest idea. I just... liked it, I guess. I liked it a lot. He'd been so fragile and dependent on me, it felt good to take care of someone else and have them appreciate it. I thought for sure that once he'd woken up, he try to run away. Kyo was known to run away whenever things got too uncomfortable for him. So why didn't he? Why did he stay with me?

And then there was his little nips. Okay, so the third one couldn't really be considered a nip, it was more of a bite. I could feel my face flush at the memory of it. To think that I'd _liked_ it was out of the question... but it was true. I _had_ liked it. Gah! What was wrong with me?! If Kyo heard my thoughts at this very moment he'd no doubt be close to tears with laughter. Stupid cat, always complicating things. I smacked my forehead, which didn't help the oncoming headache, and buried my face in my hand. Nothing made sense anymore, it was so frustrating.

I sighed and removed my hand to look at Kyo. This time, I _really_ looked at him and I noticed something that I hadn't before. His fur was two different shades of orange. The darker orange that was the most noticeable was the base, but there was a lighter shade of orange on top. The lighter shade formed very faint stripes to cover his body. Why hadn't I noticed that before? Granted, I'd never looked at Kyo closely like this when he was in cat form. But still, a part of me felt that I should have known that Kyo had stripes that made him look like a tiger cat. It was cool really, he truly was unique. Not only that, but I could think of no other cat nor breed of cat that had red eyes. Kyo was in a class of his own.

A knock on the door pulled me from my strayed and warped musings, "Come in."

To my dismay, Hatori walked through the door. Seeing the doctor of the family always made me uneasy, but that was mainly due to my tainted past. Hatori wasn't a bad guy, he was just stuck with a job that labeled him as such. Shigure and Shishou were right behind him, still deep in conversation.

"Has he woken since falling asleep in the kitchen?" Hatori asked, all business.

I nodded looking from Shigure to Shishou then back to Shigure. The dog caught me watching and gave me one of his trademark smiles. Not going to lie, this one creeped me out a bit. Shishou said something then and captured the dog's ever fleeting attention, I swear, he has to have some for of ADD.

"For the last time Shishou, you'll have to confront him about it. If you want, I could do it with you," Shigure offered and for some reason, I had a bad feeling about the way he said it.

"Really, you would?" Shishou asked, sounding dubious.

Shigure nodded enthusiastically, "Of course! We could make it threesome! I'd always wondered what it would be like with Kyo, it such an independent youth!"

I sweat dropped. Well, that explained why I had a bad feeling. Reaching over to my nightstand, I grabbed my pencil holder and chucked it at the damn dog.

"Pervert! Can't you take anything seriously?!" I accused while Shishou seemed lost for words. Leave it to the dog to turn something important into something vulgar.

"Oh I'm sorry Yuki, did you want to join? I'm sure Kyo would be even more fun if you were there to rile him up!"

I grabbed the first thing I could reach – which happened to be my math text book – and hurled it at him. He dodged and it just barely missed him, I wish it had nailed him in the face for saying such obscenities.

"You're such a perv!"

His eyes gleamed with mischief, "Is that yes then?"

I growled under my breath and my hand grasped the next thing on my nightstand. I looked down at the cold piece of metal thinking to myself, _oh goody, scissors. _I never got the change to throw them though, much to my regret. Hatori had grabbed my wrist and was giving me that stern look he always seemed to have.

"I don't want to have to deal with any more injuries while I'm here."

I glared daggers at Shigure and reluctantly set the scissors down, but I made sure that they were within easy reach. Just in case. Hatori changed Kyo's bandages and Shishou had been ushered out of the room for the time being. That was probably for the best. Once the bandages were changed, Hatori went about trying to wake the sleeping cat up. He was roused much easier this time and slowly came to with a few sleepy blinks to clear his vision. He yawned broadly, his tongue curling like it had before and he gave his head a small shake.

Hatori didn't seem near as affected by the display as I was because he spoke with his usual tone, "It's good to see you awake Kyo. How are you feeling."

The cat promptly shook his head looking strangely timid. One thing Kyo never was was timid, I couldn't think of a time I'd ever seen that emotion reflected in eyes. Hatori was blatantly confused, and I didn't blame him.

"No? I'm sorry Kyo, I don't understand what you're trying to get at," Hatori replied with a patient only a doctor could have.

Kyo laid his ears back in agitation and opened his mouth. Confusion briefly flashed over Hatori's face, but for some reason, I understood what Kyo was getting at.

"I think he wants you to look at his throat."

A pair of crimson eyes turned and locked with my amethyst ones. His body had gone rigid as if he hadn't realized that I was even there until I'd spoke. Stupid cat, had he really not noticed me even though he was laying in my lap? Why did that thought hurt a little bit? Did I want Kyo to notice me? No, that's ridiculous... right?

Hatori had grabbed a flashlight from his kit, "Alright then, open up."

Kyo stared at me for a few seconds longer before turning back to Hatori, his body relaxing as he did so. He opened his mouth and the instant Hatori turned on the flashlight, he hummed in disapproval.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" I asked finding myself oddly anxious for a reason that I couldn't explain to myself even if I tried.

Hatori grabbed Kyo's chin and tilted his head up so he could see better. The stupid doctor hummed in the back of his throat again and I was getting really pissed off at being ignored. Was it really that difficult just to answer a simple question. I considered grabbing the scissors off the nightstand and threatening him, but I dismissed the idea when I pictured him stabbing me with a needle in retaliation.

So, I tried again, more forcefully this time, "Hatori! What's wrong?!"

He glanced at me and thankfully answered – if he hadn't I would have gouged out his only good eye – "There is a lot of inflamation and swelling, it's no wonder why he couldn't speak earlier."

"Well, is there anything you can do?"

He sighed, "Unfortunately, no. I've done all I can from the shots I gave him last night. The swelling will have to go down on its own, if I tried anything, it's possible he could lose his voice permanently. It's best if we just wait it out."

"What about cough drops or something, wouldn't those help with the inflammation?"

"Yes, but his jaws as a cat aren't big enough to accommodate a cough drop." I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off, "Yes, I have a liquid that would sooth his throat, but it wouldn't do anything for the swelling. That one will have to take care of itself."

Satisfied that my questions had finally been answered, I watched as Hatori pulled a small bottle from his kit. Honestly, I think he carries just about everything around in that thing! He unscrewed the cap and told Kyo to lean his head back and open his mouth. The cat did as told and Hatori used the dropper to drip some red liquid into the awaiting mouth. It must have tasted vile because Kyo immediately started coughing and shaking his head after swallowing. Hatori recapped the vile and set it on my nightstand, making a point to tell me not to throw it at anyone. I agreed while Kyo continued to shake his head and furiously lick his chops to try and rid himself of the bitter taste. That's when another question occurred to me.

"Hatori, why is Kyo still a cat? I've never known one of us to stay in our animal form for this long."

The doctor finished packing up his things and stood, "I don't know what to tell you Yuki. Sometimes the dynamics of the Zodiac is a mystery even to me. His body has been put under a lot of stress lately and it has a long way to go before its healed. I'm sure he'll change back soon though, so don't worry too much about it."

I was instantly flustered, "Oh, no, I'm not w-worried, I was just... curious! Yeah, that's right, I was just curious, that's all!"

I felt more than one pair of eyes on me and I looked down to find Kyo staring at me. For once, I couldn't read the expression in those normally overly expressive eyes. I didn't like that, I didn't like not being able to read what Kyo was thinking. He didn't look angry, which was good. But he didn't look particularly happy either. What was going on? And once again, why did I care?!

That was when Hatori decided to walk into the room. Well, I guess he didn't really walk because him kimono was being pulled on by a certain dog so Shishou more stumbled into the room. The appearance of the dojo master captured Kyo's attention instantaneously. At first he didn't react, and neither did Shishou who had taken a couple more steps closer to the bed before stopping. They only stared at each other, it was kind of... eerie.

Then Kyo's ears laid back flat against his skull and I knew things weren't going to go well. His crimson eyes flared with burning fury I'd never seen before, not even when he was fighting me! Claws unsheathed themselves and dug into my pillow while body convulsed in a small tremor. That didn't seem to bother him though. His fur stood on end making him seem twice his normal size. I knew he was skin and bone, but looking at him now, I wouldn't have been able to guess. Suddenly, he was standing, his tail lashing out behind him. I had to admit, it was impressive. His jaws parted and an unearthly hiss which more closely resembled a snarl came careening out. Lips curled back to reveal sharp, menacing fangs. Kyo really wasn't kidding around, he was angrier than I'd ever seen him. It was... unsettling.

Before I knew it, the weight in my lap was gone. It took a moment for my mind to catch up and grasp the fact that Kyo was no longer in the room. Where he'd mustered up the energy to run when before he hadn't even been able to stand was a mystery to me. And yet, I found myself undeniably impressed. That Kyo was just full of surprises. I looked down to where Kyo had once been and found that my pillow had been torn in four different places. I made a mental note to take that up with him later.

I glanced up at Shishou and felt bad for the guy. It was like he'd just been stabbed. Shigure, who I just now noticed was standing right behind the dojo master looked completely taken aback. I guess not even he was expecting Kyo to act like that. Did I think Kyo was overreacting? I really couldn't answer that. Maybe it was because I didn't know what was going through Kyo's mind. I wanted to know though. Strange as it was, I _wanted_ to know what he was feeling and going through. I wanted to help him.

I wanted... to be with him.

"He shouldn't be out on his own," Hatori said in his usual tone, like the whole thing hadn't bothered him one little bit.

I nodded, "I'll go find him."

Shishou was frozen to the spot as I left, not caring that they were loitering in my room.

"Come on Shishou, he just needs some space right now, I'll walk you out." I heard Shigure say as I headed down the hall in search of the cat.

I would have checked his room, but the door was closed. Kyo, as amazing as he could be sometimes, was no match against a closed door while he was in cat form. I went down the hall, glad for once that all the other doors were closed as well. I went downstairs and stayed away from the living room where everyone else were still conglomerating in. There was no way Kyo would have gone in there. It was possible he could have gone outside, but I wanted to finish checking everywhere inside first.

I was just about ready to enter the kitchen when I heard Tohru speak, "Oh hello Kyo! It's so good to see you! How are you feeling?"

I peeked inside and saw Kyo walked across the room and leap onto the counter. He didn't answer, I knew he couldn't, but I don't think Tohru knew that little detail. Kyo must have seen the confused and slightly hurt expression on her face because he mewled. Yes, Kyo actually _mewled._ I felt myself blush at the sound, but that was nothing compared to the effect it had on Tohru. Her face was beet red as she pulled Kyo into a hug.

"Oh Kyo that was so cute! You must be feeling better! You have no idea how glad I am to hear that! I'm sorry if we bothered you earlier, we were just so worried! I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you Kyo! You mean so much to me and I'm so lucky to have you in my life!" She released him and set him down on the counter, embarrassed by her impulsive actions. "I was just about ready to start dinner, would you like to help?"

It was at the point in time that I decided to make my presence known, "He can't answer you Miss Honda."

"Can't answer me?" She asked, confused and that quickly turned to worry. "Oh no! So something _is_ wrong! What is it? Is there anything I can do?"

I shook my head, "Hatori gave me some medication for him, but he said all we can do is wait it out."

"But what's wrong with him?!"

He was staring at me again, I could feel it. I turned to him and sure enough, those crimson eyes were locked on me like they had been before. That unreadable expression was on his face once again. Not even a small glimmer of the rage that he'd displayed in my room was there anymore, he was just good old Kyo again. He was the Kyo I was familiar with, and I preferred that Kyo much, much more. He was just sitting on the counter, his tail wrapped around himself and resting at his front paws. I don't what it was about the kitchen lighting, but it made the lighter orange stripes that covered his body stick out like never before. Really, how had I not noticed them until today?

"Yuki?"

I turned back to Tohru, I'd forgotten she'd asked a question, "It's a swollen throat, I'm sure it'll be fine in no time."

"Oh good! That's such a relief!"

I shot Kyo a smirk, "A cat wouldn't be very useful with helping for dinner, so why don't I lend a hand instead."

I chuckled when Kyo rolled his eyes and minutely shook his head. He was slowly reverting back to the Kyo I was fond of and his vibrant energy was coming back as well. I was so relieved, I really did miss that. I didn't realize how much I missed it until it was suddenly gone. Stupid cat, he's such a pain... but a pain I kind of... liked.....

Making dinner – even though I couldn't cook to save my life – was surprisingly fun. But that could have just been because of the orange cat that shadowed basically my every move. Tohru had put me in charge of the soup while she made rice and few other things that were way beyond what I could handle. Kyo stayed sitting on the counter next to the stove where I was stationed. At first, I'd wondered why he hadn't wandered away and found something more interesting to amuse himself yet. I quickly found out, however, that even though he was a cat, he _was_ actually useful when it came to preparing for dinner.

Soup wasn't difficult, or at least it wasn't for anyone that wasn't named Yuki Sohma. Tohru had given me a small sheet of paper that had very clearly laid out the directions and ingredients needed. I got out everything needed and filled the pot up to the desired amount of water and turned the stove on to get it to boil. When it did boil, I added the chicken broth that it called for. When that too was boiling, I grabbed the first item on the list and was about to put it in when I felt a light pressure on my wrist. Looking down, I found an orange paw pressed against my skin.

"What? It says to add ginger!"

A cat like growl came from him and he lowered his leg to look pointedly at the recipe. Annoyed, I looked at it too and couldn't stop the quirk of my lips when I saw what it read. The ginger needed to be cut, I'd just about put the whole thing in which would have ruined it. Kyo looked up at me and even though he was a cat, I swear it looked like he was smiling.

"Okay, okay, I admit it. Maybe you're not as useless in the kitchen as I'd said you were even though you are a cat. Are you happy now stupid cat?"

He nodded, but glared at me for calling him stupid. The glare was only halfhearted though, I could tell he didn't mean it.

So that's how the preparation of the soup went. I followed the recipe as best I could and Kyo caught me whenever I was about to make a mistake. When it came to adding spices, I poured the spice while looking at him to give a nod to tell me to stop. At one point, a spice must have gotten into his noise because he sneezed several times. The way his whiskers twitched afterward got me to laugh despite my efforts not to. He'd glared at me, but that only made it all the more amusing for me. In the end, when everything had been added, I took a spoon and tried it. My eyes widened as the warm liquid slid down my throat. I looked to Kyo and he had his head cocked to one side, I had to admit, he as cute when he did that.

Gah! Did I just call Kyo cute?!?! I must be losing my mind!!

His hissing at me got my attention again and I shook the thoughts from my head.

"It's good," I said, completely taken by surprise that I'd made something in the kitchen and it didn't make me want to vomit after eating it.

Kyo looked from me to the spoon, then back to me again. I knew what he was asking, it was pretty obvious. I dipped the spoon back into the soup and blew on it when I pulled it back out. I didn't want him to burn his tongue or anything. Holding the utensil under his mouth I watched as he took a tentative whiff before lapping a few mouthfuls of it up. For some reason, it pleased me beyond words that he didn't mind eating off the same spoon that I'd just put my mouth on. But that was beside the point....

He nodded and I got the strange feeling that he was smiling again. There was just a glimmer in his eyes that somehow made the whole world seem like a better place.

"Oh my gosh you guys! This soup is delicious! Not that I thought it wouldn't be or anything! It's just, this is really, really good!" I turned to find Tohru with a spoon of her own standing right next to me.

When had she gotten there?

I gave her a smile and shared a brief look with Kyo while Tohru began carrying the food to the table. Momiji walked in and the moment was gone, so I began helping Tohru by setting the table with plates enough for everyone. The soup stayed on the on the stove which was set on low to keep it warm but not scalding. Kyo jumped down from the counter and huddled in a corner, waiting for everyone to file in. My guess was that he didn't want to get stepped on. When everyone was in and seated, I noticed we were missing someone.

"Where's Kagura?" I asked as Kyo jumped onto the chair next to which Tohru had so kindly placed a couple pillows both for his comfort and to get him up high enough to reach the tabletop.

She really was the sweetest of girls.

Haru ran a careless hand through his hair, but it was Momiji who spoke, "Haru turned black on her so Hatori thought it would be best if she went back to the main house with him."

Kyo's relief was evident when he let out a loud sigh and visibly relaxed. And then it was meal time, everyone dug in ravenously, but I held back. I filled Kyo's plate up first and gave him a small bowl of soup to go with the other things Tohru had made. He watched me the whole time, giving no sign for me to stop, so I didn't. Only when he was taken care of did I tend to my own plate. When was the last time I'd eaten? I was starving!

"Woah, who made the Wonton soup?" Momiji asked, the spoon comically hanging out of his mouth.

"Yuki and Kyo did," Tohru supplied happily, no doubt pleased that Kyo and I had done something together without fighting.

Haru looked between me and Kyo before giving me a soft look that only white Haru was capable of, "It's great."

I bowed my head a little in acknowledgment, "Thanks, glad you like it."

"Yes, yes the soup is good. But let's not forget all the other wonderful things my little flower has so lovingly prepared for us!"

I glared at Shigure and I knew Kyo was too. The dog continued babbling all throughout the meal, most of the things he said made Tohru blush and it only proved to annoy me more. Momiji didn't understand most of it – thank goodness for his childish innocence – and Haru just didn't care. I periodically glanced over at Kyo throughout the meal to find his plate nearly completely untouched. He'd lap at the soup every now and then, but all in all, he wasn't eating anywhere near what he should be. I considered saying something, but thought better of it before I could get the words out. Maybe his throat hurt and that's why he wasn't eating. I decided that if he still refused to eat enough tomorrow, I'd force him to.

After dinner, we all helped with the dishes. Everyone except Kyo, the paws kind of made it hard for him. With everyone helping, everything was done and cleaned in no time. Kyo was still sitting in his chair, but his eyes were bleary with fatigue. I wasn't surprised, his run in with Shishou earlier had probably taken more out of him than he was willing to admit to himself. Haru took Momiji and the two headed back for the main house. Tohru and I saw them to the door after they'd both said their goodbyes to Kyo promising to visit again soon.

I yawned and headed back for the kitchen to get Kyo when I found said cat already waiting at the base of the stairs. Well, sort of waiting. He'd made it up three steps and was half way up the fourth when his fatigue took over and he collapsed panting lightly from the effort. I called a goodnight to Tohru and Shigure before picking Kyo up and carrying him upstairs.

He didn't protest when I went into my room instead of dropping him off in his room. In fact, it was almost like he expected it. How strange....

I set him down on the bed and grabbed my pajamas which I took the bathroom with me. I changed and brushed my teeth after washing my face. Once I was thoroughly ready for bed, I returned to my room to find Kyo curled up on the right side of the bed by the wall. He raised his head when I entered, but didn't move. As I neared, I realized that his head was on my pillow. I chuckled at the sight. A cat with its head on a pillow really did make a ridiculous sight.

"Want some more medicine for your throat?" I asked as I laid down on my back next to him.

The feeble hiss that came from him got me to chuckle again.

"Are you sure? It might help it heal faster."

In answer, he kicked at my left arm with his hind legs. Thankfully, he'd been gracious enough to keep his claws sheathed. Speaking of claws....

"You know, you owe me for ripping holes in my pillow."

This got me another kick... with claws unsheathed. He didn't scratch hard enough to break skin, but it still stung.

"Stupid cat," I said with absolutely no hostility.

And for the third time that night, I saw that gleam in his eyes like he was smiling on the inside. I liked the way it lit up those crimson orbs. I decided I wanted to see it more often.

I yawned and because yawns are contagious, he yawned too.

"Alright Kyo, let's get some sleep, okay?"

He nodded so I reached over and turned the nightstand lamp off. Once we were in the darkness, I turned over onto my side so that I was facing him. We weren't touching, but it was comforting to know he was there. I wanted to reach over and run my fingers through that silky orange fur, but I didn't know how he'd feel about it. And I certainly didn't want him to get mad and go away.

Then I felt the bed moving and the next thing I knew, Kyo was laying with his back pressed against my chest. My heart swelled at the feeling and I reached down to pull the comforter over us. Once done, I quelled my desire and buried my hand into the alluring silk of fur. His breathing was slowed, so I think he was already asleep. Having him next to me lulled me until I too fell into sleep.

I vaguely remembered wondering what tomorrow would bring....

**_Good???? What did you guys think of Shishou's appearance?? Was it to your expectations??? Let me know!! I want feedback from all of you!! Yes, even all of you that favorite the story and story alert it but don't review haha I still love you all!_**

**_Thanks for reading! And if you want some good music look up: Your Call by Secondhand Serenade. It's absolutely fantastic. I listened to it the entire time I wrote this chapter ^_^ Thanks for reading!_**

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	12. Chapter 12

**_Hello all!! I give you the next wonderful chapter! No author blah, blah, blah this time. _**

**_So enjoy this angsty/fluffly goodness!!_**

**CHAPTER 12**

**YUKI:**

I was so warm. I couldn't ever remember being this warm before, and so content. I sighed to myself as the familiar haze of sleep began to ware off leaving me to do nothing more than slowly come back to my senses. I'm really not a morning person and this morning, I could already tell, wasn't going to be any sort of exception.

Since it was morning and I was really only half conscious, when something moved next to me, my first reaction was to kick out. And that's exactly what I did. A loud thump and a muffled hiss followed and it only then dawned on me that I'd just kicked Kyo off my bed....

Whoops....

I sat up quickly feeling a little dizzy because of all the blood rushing from the fast movements. The little orange ball of fur was laying on his face with his rear ending sticking up in the middle of the room. It was a good thing he was a cat otherwise that _really _would have been a strange sight to wake up to....

"You damn rat," he spat before he started coughing. "What the hell," cough, cough. "Was that for?" Cough, cough.

He got up and glared at me, his red eyes were filled with more of the vitality that they used to have before the whole incident That Night. It was a refreshing sight to see. Though he wasn't anywhere near the way he used to be, at least he was moving in the right direction. And the fact that he could speak, even though it was obviously labored, was a plus. Now if only he'd eat something....

"Stupid cat, don't talk yet if your throat isn't ready," I advised with a broad yawn.

"I'll do," cough, cough. "Whatever I want," cough, cough.

He continued to hack afterward, falling to his stomach in the process because his legs couldn't handle the strain. I grabbed the medicine Hatori had given me off my nightstand and went over to him. When his coughing finally subsided, I knelt down next to him.

"This'll help," I said quietly, he only glared at me in response. The fur on his shoulders went up and he stubbornly opened his mouth. I put a few drops in and he immediately began spazing from the bitter taste. "Now come on, lets go get some breakfast."

He huffed and headed to the door only to stop because it was closed. I couldn't pass this moment up, I just had to tease him.

"Go ahead stupid cat, open the door."

He hissed at me, his tail lashing out behind him, "Damn rat." Cough.

Rolling my eyes, I opened the door for him and we went down to the kitchen to get some food. I made sure he followed me down the stairs so if he lost balance and fell, I'd be able to catch him before he got too far down. I don't think he knew that that was my intention by the way he was glaring daggers at me. But oh well, it doesn't really matter I guess. What I wasn't expecting, however, was the mass of people that were waiting like vultures in said kitchen for our arrival. Momiji was the first to bound up, sweeping Kyo off his feet and spinning in a circle like a typical child would with their favorite stuffed animal.

"Good morning Kyo! You're a lot warmer than you were the other day! I'm so glad!" He then turned to Kisa and Hiro that were waiting on the other side of the kitchen. "See Kisa, I told you he'd be fine! She was worried about you you know! I think Hiro was too, but he'll never admit that to you!"

I had to admit, I was impressed that Kyo hadn't clawed Momiji's eyes out yet for carrying him around like that. Maybe the baka neko had finally learned some self control....

I sweatdropped as I was proven wrong, Kyo as it turned out was still very much, well, Kyo. His initial shock wore off and he battered his back legs into Momiji's stomach until he was dropped to the floor. Once he was free, he made an attempt to escape the room, but before he made it to the door, Haru had grabbed him by the scuff of the neck. Kyo all but yowled as he was brought eye level with the smirking Haru.

"You're lucky Kagura isn't here," Haru drawled, his smirk deepening.

"Put. Me. Down." Kyo seethed seemingly on the verge of exploding.

"Ah, so the cat speaks. Hopefully now you'll cause less problems for everyone."

"I hate you so much right now," Kyo began but was cut off when he began to cough. "Put me down." Cough, cough.

Another pair of hands encircled around Kyo's body and lifted him away from Haru's uncomfortable hold. He was suddenly hugged very tightly to Tohru's chest as she tried to hold back her tears.

"Oh Kyo it's so good to hear your voice! I was so worried, I'm so glad you're okay!"

Normally Kyo would have fought her tight hold. There was just something about being held in someone else's arms that seemed a little degrading for the cat. This time however, Kyo didn't fight it when she clung to him. Maybe it was because she sounded so undeniably relieved or maybe it was because at that particular moment, being held didn't seem so bad.

"We really were worried," Tohru whispered, quiet tears sliding down her cheeks.

Kyo didn't like it when Tohru cried. Well, he didn't like it when anyone cried, especially woman. But Tohru especially. Somehow, no matter what Kyo did to push her away, she had found a way to worm herself into his life. I smiled to myself when Kyo flicked his tail up to swipe one of her tears away. Kyo was always so gentle with her, it kind of made me jealous.

Wait, jealous?? No! That's not right! It just irritated me! Yeah, that's right, it irritated me! Nothing more, nothing less.

She sniffled and used the back of her hand to wipe the rest of her tears away. When she finally let Kyo go, the stupid cat fled. I don't know where he went. He was there one second and completely gone the next. I have to admit, I wasn't entirely surprised that he ran. Whenever things got too emotional for Kyo, he'd just run away from it and hope it disappeared by the time he got back. I don't know what kind of logic that was, but it wasn't very effective.

I rolled my eyes and went to the table, looking for some breakfast. If Kyo wanted to run off somewhere while stuck in cat form, who was I tell him that he couldn't? I was sort of annoyed with him at the moment anyway, mainly because I was just so damn confused. I'm used to having the answers to most everything, but when it came to Kyo I was clueless. And that frustrated me more than I'd ever admit.

I grabbed a bowl from the pantry and filled it with my favorite cereal. Or at least I hoped I'd grabbed the right one because I honestly wasn't paying attention. My mind was still on the stupid cat that was who knows where wallowing in self pity.

My breakfast was going as planned, until I reached for the milk, that is. My hand froze on the cool carton and my stomach sank to an all new low. Okay, so Kyo hadn't eaten yet, who was I to care? True, he hadn't eaten a complete, solid meal since... I couldn't even remember how long ago. But again, I shouldn't care about that. The stupid cat will eat eventually, right? I mean, surely he'd pretty much be forced to because his stomach will be growling so much, demanding to be fed.

Then again, maybe not.

Taking the milk out, I slammed it with more force than necessary on the counter. No! There was no way I was going to stop my breakfast just to track down that stupid cat just to make sure that he didn't cause himself more damage by not eating anything. So of course I poured the milk into my cereal bowl before putting the milk back. I grabbed a spoon from the silverware drawer, took my bowl, and went to the table. It was a familiar ritual, one that happened most every morning.

And that was where my seemingly normal habit ended.

It was at this time that if anyone else in the room decided to turn around and look for me or something, they would find a decidedly Yuki-less kitchen. All they would see is an almost bare table save for a full bowl of cereal and a neglected spoon. Cause damn it all, my conscience got the better of me. I was too busy making my way to where I just sort of knew Kyo was.

I went outside, belatedly deciding that a cat in his condition wouldn't be able to make it up to the roof like he may have wanted. So, what would a cat that's somewhat physically challenged at the moment do when his favorite place on the roof was no longer an option? Well, I figured he obviously go outside. Kyo was such of an 'outdoor' type of person and he'd been cooped up inside for so long that surely he'd want some fresh air.

My great skills of deduction were greatly rewarded when I walked outside and after five minutes of looking, found Kyo lounging in the sunlight on the porch. Upon seeing him, I just had to stop and take a minute to drink in the scene.

There cat Kyo was on a seemingly average day, laying casually on his stomach. He wasn't sleeping, he had his head raised and looking towards the woods. His tail would flick periodically as the sun made his pelt burn as if it were on fire. Those red eyes caught the light and sparkled in a sea of crimson. Sure, he was still bandaged from his cuts, but for some reason or another, he looked spectacular to me. Like a ball of fire, a raging comet, a gasoline induced bonfire.

Woah, woah, woah!

I really, really need a reality check. I, Yuki Sohma, am anything but poetic.

Walking forward, I grit my teeth, "Kyo, breakfast."

He swiveled his head to look at me and those red eyes instantly narrowed into a glare.

"There is no way," cough, cough, "I'm going back in there."

"You stupid cat, if you don't get inside right now, I will drag you in by your tail."

There was a moment in which Kyo laid very still and stared at me with his usual glare. I wasn't really sure what he was going to do, but I was serious about dragging him in by his tail. I was getting fed up with all this. I mean seriously, why did I care so much?!?!

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he stood, "Whatever."

With a few more coughs, he lead the way into the house. There was a limp to his walk and I can't be sure, but I think he was trying to hide how bad it really was. Stupid cat, why couldn't he just admit that it hurt? Yeah it might damage his pride a little bit, but in my opinion his health was more important that hurt pride. GAH! There I go again! Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me lately?!

Now, if I had been able to see into the future I would never have left the house. I would have stayed at the table to eat my cereal. I wouldn't have bothered going out after Kyo. Oh yes, I would never have ventured outside. Because seriously, I would have saved myself _a lot _of trouble.

As it was though, I _couldn't_ see into the future. Therefore, I could never have even guessed what was in store for me since I'd decided to abandon my cereal in favor of going after Kyo.

I would like to take this moment to say this one little thing: I hate my life.

That being said, lets pick up where Kyo and I were entering the house.

We entered the house to find that everyone had left the kitchen and were milling around the living room. They were messing around, Haru was was keeping an eye on the kids to make sure that they didn't pull out too much of Tohru's hair. Things were relatively normal considering that this was the Sohma family.

It was at this time that Shigure decided to enter the room. Now, this would have been completely appropriate on any other occasion. When the stupid dog walked in, he, as usual, wasn't paying a lick of attention. Being the idiotic brute that he was, he didn't see little Kyo and stepped right on the cat's tail. Kyo being Kyo, he completely freaked out. The caterwaul that sounded from him startled every person in the room, including myself.

Shigure was so surprised that he fell forward and squished the bristling Kyo beneath him. The room turned into chaos as I found myself throwing the dog across the room and Momiji appeared out of nowhere to scoop Kyo up. This action would have been fine had Kyo been calm, which he totally wasn't. He bristled even more, yowling his complaints and wiggling his way out of the child's hold.

Tohru began fawning of them, making constant pleas that everyone be careful. Momiji tried to keep his hold on the squirming cat and that was their downfall. Literally.

As the child backed up to try and keep his hold, he tripped over a semi-unconscious Shigure. The little blond predictably fell backwards tossing an unsuspecting Kyo while he was at it.

Now, I was always under the impression that all cats land on their feet. I was proved very, very wrong as Kyo sprawled face first onto the wooden floor sputtering curses as he did. I was pretty sure the worst was over at this point, but once again, I was proven very, very wrong.

Hiro, being his usual protective little self and a grudge against the cat, loomed over Kyo with the promise of death. Tohru helped Momiji up and got him out of the way while Kyo coughed and struggled to his paws. It really looked like it was a struggle, his limp was more pronounced now. And his tail was curling like it was still stinging from being stepped on. I admit, I kind of felt bad. So seeing Hiro advance in such a dangerous way convinced me to help Kyo out. Had I known that Hiro was going to suddenly sprint and kick Kyo upward with all the strength his young leg possessed, I would have moved faster.

I'd never expected Hiro to do that, so when he did, I couldn't stop my jaw from dropping a little. Kyo flew upward with a terrified and rightfully pissed of yowl. Hiro was tackled to the ground by Haru and Kisa, who happened to bump heads while doing it. During all this, I had dove forward and caught Kyo before the stupid cat could do another face plant into the floor. And of course Tohru was freaking out during all this while holding a wide eyed Momiji protectively in front of her.

Kyo dug his claws into my shirt and buried his muzzle into my chest.

It was at this moment that the very telltale 'poof' sounded.

Yes, that's right.

One second I had a traumatized cat taking refuge on top of me....

The next, I had a very human and _very_ naked Kyo pressing against me....

So I will take this time to reiterate: I hate my life.

My wide purple eyes met Kyo's equally wide red ones. His face flushed in mortification and I was certain that I wasn't any better off. The moment was broken when somewhere, I haven't got the slightest idea from where, something crashed to the floor.

The next few minutes were filled with screaming, people running into each other, and a flurry of feet. At some point, the weight on my chest disappeared. Everything was moving so fast that literally everything was blur. The next thing I knew, some odd minutes later, we'd all managed to conglomerate into the kitchen. Ice packs were passed around while a _very_ red – and very clothed – Kyo sat at his usual place across from me.

"Well that was... interesting...," Shigure offered, an ice pack pressed against his head, to break the silence.

Haru stared at the table with his usual stoic expression, "My vote is that we never speak of this again."

"I second that," Kyo mumbled, holding a hand up to stifle his coughs.

When he'd changed back, his bandages had basically exploded off in the change of size. I'd know because I'd been the one to clean up the shreds of gauze from the living room floor. But he must have redone them himself because the edge of a fresh white bandage was barely exposed at the collar of his shirt. It worried me a little that his wounds were still bad enough that he'd need to put bandages back on, but I was still so flabbergasted by the previous events that I didn't let myself think about it too much.

Kyo's eyes had dark circles around then, like what most people get when they don't get near enough sleep. Luckily though, there wasn't any bruising or anything from his fall. His tanned skin was a lighter color than I remember it ever being. He was still ridiculously thin, the shirt he was wearing fit him a week ago but was now slack and looked too big for him. Stupid cat.

"Lunch!!" Tohru chimed, breaking the uncomfortable silence with her sing song voice.

And yes, it was now lunch time. Our little 'activities' had taken up a good portion of the morning. My cereal, which I now regret not staying to eat, had been poured down the sink in a soggy mess. But as soon as lunch was served, it really seemed to lighten the mood. The kids entertained themselves while Haru listened to the different conversations while providing a grunt every now and then. Kyo was the only one that remained silent. Tohru had made us sandwiches and the first that cat did was get up and grab the entire carton of milk from the fridge. He then proceeded to drink the last third of milk left and eat half his sandwich that Tohru had ever so kindly made for us. I have to admit, he'd eaten more than I'd expected him to.

I know this because I'd watched that stupid cat like a hawk to make sure that he ate something. I didn't know why I cared so much, that was obvious. But it was also painfully obvious that I _did_ care and couldn't stop myself from doing so. I was undeniably relieved when he ate half his food plus the rest of the milk, that meant he was getting better. Which, no matter how you looked at it, was a great thing.

It was at the end of this meal that a very grim looking Hatori sauntered in through the door. The jerk hadn't even bothered to knock, but I decided to overlook that for the time being. There was something about the look in his eyes that didn't quite sit too well with me. Everyone else seemed to notice it too because they all stiffened.

"Hey Hatori! What brings you here this fine afternoon?" Shigure asked in an attempt to be cheerful, which was an epic fail I might add.

Hatori ignored him and looked straight at the Kyo with something akin to regret in his eyes.

"Akito wants to see you at the main house."

At the mention of the main house, my blood turned to ice. Memories of dark rooms and ceaseless hatred made it hard for me to breath. At just the mention of that awful place, my head was sent for a spin and I wanted nothing more than to retreat to my room, lock the door, and not come out. All around me, reactions were different. Some shied while other's shook.

To Kyo's credit though, he didn't flinch. He didn't break down into a mass of weeping testosterone. He didn't even lose his temper, which is really saying something. He merely nodded and stood without meeting anyone's gaze.

Except for mine.

Before he disappeared through the door, he shot me one brief look. But that look came from a Kyo I didn't know. It was the beaten Kyo, the one that was just a breath away from giving up on everything. And at that moment, I had a strange urge to grab onto him and never let go.

But of course I couldn't do that, I couldn't go against Akito's wishes. So I was forced to sit there while Hatori silently took Kyo to what surely wouldn't be a pleasant encounter. The room was deathly silent to the point where I couldn't even hear anyone else breathing. And it wasn't until I heard the front door click shut that I roughly pushed my chair back and went to my room. No one tried to stop me, which was good because I probably would have impaled them several times with my fist. Except for Tohru, but that was given.

I went up the stairs and after closing my door behind me, leaned my back against said door and slumped to the ground. And it was there that I finally let my frustrations get to me. Kyo had finally been getting better damn it! He was human again! He could speak! Yes, I'm aware that every time he spoke it would be accompanied by a fit of coughs, but hey, at least he could talk! He was eating again! He was making an effort to get his life back! He'd slowly been turning back into the Kyo I remembered and the Kyo that I desperately wanted back!

But now, with one visit from Hatori, things had gone terribly wrong. I don't know what would happen at the main house, but anything that involved Akito wouldn't be good. There was just no way. I hated not knowing what was going on. But what I hated even more was not knowing what kind of shape Kyo would be coming home in. If he even came back at all... that's what really scared me. Yes, scared me. The tight knot of foreboding in my gut only got tighter as I heard Hatori's car start and drive away. Something definitely wasn't right and I hated it that there was nothing I could do about it.

It was at that moment that I buried my face into my hands and let out a powerful yell of frustration hoping that it would help ease the tension.

It didn't.

The closer Kyo got to the main house, the more helpless I felt.

Something bad was going to happen, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

**_Well, well? Are you displeased, pleased, angry, on the verge of rioting?? Whatever the case may be, let me know!! Next chapter will be from Kyo's POV and only I know what's going to happen muahahaha_**

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**_REVIEW_**


	13. Chapter 13

**_Wow! A double update!! I've been working all day and I've managed to update this story AND A Love Torn, I feel so amazingly accomplished! Anyway, I hope you all like the chap!_**

**_ENJOY!! ^_^_**

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

**KYO:**

I rode in the car with my forehead resting against the window. The cool glass felt good, _really_ good against my heated skin. I don't think I was feverish or anything, but I sure as hell was warmer than usual. Which was really saying something because as a cat, my blood ran hotter than what would be considered the norm. And I felt fine... if I didn't think about where we were headed, that is.

A shudder ran through me at the thought of going back to the main house. I didn't want to go! I would rather cough up fur balls everyday for the rest of my life or something!

"I'm glad to see you're looking better Kyo," Hatori said quietly in his version of making small talk.

I wasn't going to have any of that though. Honestly, how could I possibly feel casual around the guy that was taking me to see Him?? So, I ignored Hatori and continued to stare dejectedly out the window. It was a nice day out, or it had been when I'd been laying on the porch earlier. I knew it had only been a few hours since then, but it felt like a life time ago. And, judging by the current temperature, it was going to be a nice night out.

Too bad I probably wouldn't be able to enjoy it....

The ride to the main house was short. Way, way too short. My hands and forehead had broken into a cold sweat from my wound up nerves. Anxiety was churning in my gut, making everything all that much more uncomfortable. Hatori noticed my discomfort and tried to offer me some advice.

"Try to relax Kyo, if you keep working yourself up the chances of you changing again only grow."

When we pulled up to the house and parked, my nerves were pretty much shot. I was grappling for something, anything that could keep myself from threatening to implode. And it was then, for some reason or another, that damn rat suddenly popped into my head. My stomach flipped over and I nearly fell out of the car because of the onslaught of emotions.

Yuki.

He'd gone out of his way to help me over the past couple days. I never got the chance to ask him anything because Hatori had shown up and I'd only just found my voice again. There was so much I needed to talk to Yuki about. So much I needed to ask him. And damn near every question began with the word 'why.' That damn rat was so confusing! One minute he's kicking me out of bed while I was still sleeping, the next he's helping me by giving me medicine for my throat or something.

If I didn't know better, I'd say he cared. But I knew better. Keh, there was no way that damn rat could give a shit about me. We'd hated each other for so long that I was pretty sure we were incapable of ever totally getting alone. However, that didn't explain Yuki's behavior over the last couple days...

"Go on in, he's waiting for you."

Hatori's voice broke me from my thoughts and reality threatened to crush me. The doctor left and I just stared at the closed door before me. Never in my life had a door ever looked so daunting. Stupid, flimsy little door. I knew I couldn't stand there forever, no matter how much I desperately didn't want to go in.

Taking a deep breath, I reached out and opened the troublesome door. Akito was waiting for me. He was sitting by the window, a bird perched precariously on his pointer finger. His frame was smaller than the last time I'd seen him and he seemed to be thinner then I remembered. Akito's face skin was pale and slightly pallid. All in all, he looked a lot older, like life was simply getting to be too much.

"Ah Kyo, please, come in."

I did as was told and went to my knees a few feet in front of his chair. I bowed my head respectively, just like he always expected for any of his visitors to do.

"It's been too long Kyo."

I hated the way he said my name, there was such hatred and venom in it. I stared at the floor, refusing to look up even though I could feel his eyes burning a hole in my head. There was a flutter of wings that told me that the bird had flown away. Then I heard the soft pad of feet coming towards me and it took everything in my power not to get up and run away. He stopped by his chair, but that didn't stop goosebumps from appearing all over my arms as a pang of nerves went up my spine, paralyzing me.

"I heard about what happened."

I remained silent, absolutely refusing to look at him even though I knew he wanted me to. Akito had a way of hurting people without even touching them, he was just dark like that. I couldn't remember a time when he hadn't been like that.

"You're worthless," Akito whispered, sauntering over to hover above me.

I didn't look up and I was ashamed that I couldn't stop myself from flinching. I hated showing any kind of weakness, especially to him. He was the head of house after all. I studied the grains in the wood floor in front of me, I knew that if I met his gaze, then I would believe him and I just couldn't take a blow like that. My mind wouldn't be able to take the pressure and stress. In other words, it would break me.

"Don't think for instant that just because some of them looked for you means that they care. If you'd wanted to disappear so badly, I would have gladly done it for you."

He slapped me across the face and I'm proud to say that I didn't make any noise.

"I bet you just wanted the attention."

He slapped me again, harder this time and on the opposite cheek. Again, I bit the inside of my lip and refused to make any sound. I knew he hated that, he wanted to be reassured that he was making his point. By not making noise, it wasn't giving him the satisfaction he was thriving for so much.

"That's all you want, isn't it Kyo? Well if you want attention, I'll give it to you."

Akito's kick was expected, but it still caught me off guard. He got me right in the gut and though he was frail, he had a surprising amount of strength. I fell to my side only to be kicked again, harder than the first time. With another kick, I was seeing stars. His fourth kick wasn't aimed for my stomach though, it hit me in the face. My head snapped back and I heard something in my neck make a loud cracking noise. I'm pretty sure that it was painful, but my face was hurting too much for me to even take notice of any other pains.

I couldn't stop the anguished gasp that escaped my throat as blood welled up in my nose and mouth. He suddenly grabbed my hair and yanked me up until there was nothing I could see except his dark eyes.

"You. Are. Worthless." Akito hissed angrily, "Don't you ever forget that. You're the cat. You don't belong in this family. You don't have a place here and you never will. You disgust me. Mess up again and I'll punish you with something worse than death, now get out of my sight you filth."

With that, he smashed my face into the floor and walked away. Thankfully, he left the room entirely so he didn't see my failed attempts at standing. I barely managed to stand after many useless tries and ended up having to half crawl just to get out of that dreaded room. Once I was outside, my legs gave out and I fell onto my stomach. Said stomach couldn't take anymore though, I found myself leaning over the side of the porch upchucking whatever food I'd managed to eat earlier. And even when there was nothing left, I still felt sick and continued to dry heave and spit out the blood in my mouth.

Strong arms moved me back and supported my weight as I was moved to a different room. I knew it was Hatori, who else would it possibly be? He gave me a cloth which I pressed over my mouth and nose to absorb the blood. It didn't take long for the bleeding to stop, but the swelling remained. Hatori made quick work of checking me over and left only to grab me a few ice packs. The only thing I kept thinking about though, was getting away from the main house and into the more familiar surroundings.

"Hatori," I rasped quietly, "Can you take me to Shigure's?"

He nodded, "Yes, let me help you to the car."

On the way back to the house, the feeling of the cold glass against my forehead was even more welcome then it had been on the way there. Though my face was throbbing, I kept the two ice packs on my stomach. I could basically feel the bruises forming and I felt absolutely sick. And hard as I tried, I couldn't get myself to stop shaking. It wasn't because I was cold, not by a long shot. Akito's words were still ringing through my head and I couldn't get them to go away no matter how hard I tried. I was still in a cold sweat and that just made everything all that much more uncomfortable.

"Kyo?"

"Hmm?"

"I really need you to pay attention to yourself for a few days."

I closed my eyes and concentrated on cool glass, "Okay, what for?"

I cringed at the sound of my own voice, it was like two sheets of sandpaper scraping against each other.

"If you cough up any blood, even if it's just a drop, I need you to call me right away."

"Why?"

Hatori took a deep breath like he didn't want to say what he knew he had to, "He got you really bad in the stomach and I have reason to believe that you might have internal bleeding."

"Wh-" I began, but was cut off when I was overcome with a violent fit of coughing. He sped the car up in attempt to get to the house faster.

"You're body is too weak right now to withstand any tests so you're just going to have to watch out for yourself, okay?"

I was still coughing by the time we pulled into the drive and Hatori had to open the door for me. Actually, he had to do a lot more than just that because once he opened the door I pretty much fell out. I hadn't been wearing a seat belt cause I didn't want something pressing across my stomach. He had to catch me and guide me back to the house. And during all of this, my coughing just wouldn't stop. I tried hiding it behind my hand, but it didn't help. I regretted tossing the cloth I'd been using earlier because it really would have come in handy at that moment.

Shigure was there waiting and opened the door for us. Which was good because I really didn't think Hatori would have been able to get it open while he was helping me. I don't know how, but I was ushered into the living room and could vaguely hear Tohru's frantic voice in the background. The voice my ears were straining to hear, however, wasn't there.

I was set on the couch, an ice pack was pressed to the side of my face while the other two remained on my stomach. Once again, my whole body hurt and it sucked. It really, really sucked. I just wanted to sleep and hope that by the time I woke up, everything would be okay again. I knew it was stupid to think that way, but what else could I do? No actions I could take would help, so all I was left with was a false hope and irrational dreams. Hatori was talking to Shigure and Tohru, but I wasn't listening to what he was saying. The throbbing in my ears was too loud for me to hear anything except for my own heart beat. I would have liked for Hatori or someone to send Tohru away, she didn't need to see me like this. I knew she'd worry, and I didn't want that for her. She didn't need the added stress on her shoulders.

But if no one was going to send her away, then I would just leave. Standing up on shaking legs, I went for the stairs.

"Kyo! Where are you going?" Shigure asked before I got too far and the underline of worry in his voice made my stomach hurt even more.

"Shower," I mumbled hoarsely.

"Remember what I told you in the car Kyo," Hatori called as I forced myself to climb the stairs.

I waved a dismissive hand before concentrated on struggling past each step. Since when was climbing the stairs ever this difficult?! Eventually though, I made it to my room and grabbed some fresh clothes. I then went to the bathroom and took the most heavenly shower known to mankind. The water made my open cuts sting a little, but the fact that I was washing Akito's rancid filth off of me made it all worth it. Once done, I got out and dried myself. Before changing into my sleep wear, I re-bandaged some of the cuts that were still pretty bad. I refused to look at myself in the mirror during this entire time. I honestly didn't think I could face what Akito had done to me. Last, I brushed my teeth and finally stumbled to my room.

I couldn't help but notice that Yuki's door was closed. There was light coming from the bottom of it which told me that he was indeed awake. Damn rat.

"Kyo! Kyo hold on a second!" Tohru said as she bounded up the stairs. "I know you're tired and probably want to go to bed, but do you need anything? Are you hungry? Or maybe you need some more ice packs? Well I guess if you needed them you'd be getting them instead of going to your room, but I'd be happy to get them for you!"

I put a hand on her head to stop her. There was just something about ruffling her wispy brown hair that always seemed to calm her down.

"Thanks, but I'm fine-"

I would have finished my sentence, I really would have! But damnit, I couldn't keep myself from coughing!

I choose to take this moment where I couldn't speak and Tohru was fawning over me to say one simple little thing: I hate my life.

See? Simple.

Anyway, once my fit had subsided, I assured her that I was fine. She continued to offer to get me some cough medicine, but we both knew that that wouldn't help. The only thing that would help was in Yuki's room and hell would have to freeze over twice before I'd ever go in there to get it. About five minutes later, I was finally able to reassure her enough for her to let me get to bed. I was just glad that I hadn't run into Shigure yet, I didn't want to hear him nag at me. Not tonight, at least. I was just way too damn tired.

My room had never looked so inviting in all the days I'd been living in it. The bed especially seemed to be calling my name, yes, I was _that_ tired. So I laid down, pulled the blankets over me, and... absolutely could not fall asleep.

That damn throat of mine was worn raw and I just couldn't stop coughing no matter how hard I tried. There was a half bottle of water on my nightstand and I took a sip in hope that that would help. It. Totally. Didn't. If anything, it just made me cough harder and made my stomach flip uncomfortably. At some point, my cold sweat had returned and I thought for sure that I was feverish. Then again, that could have just been my imagination.

A soft click sounded in the room, but my back was to the door and I was too busy coughing to really notice. The door closed again and seconds later, there was a light pressure on my back. I glanced over my shoulder to have large violet eyes consume everything else in my line of vision. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, but that was nothing knew to me. He put a hand on my forehead and the next thing I knew, he was gone. My condition had gotten so bad that I couldn't even curse him.

Five minutes later, he returned and closed the door behind him. He had a bowl in one arm and the familiar medicine bottle in his free hand. Yuki set both down on my nightstand and then gently turned me over onto my back. I didn't fight him, I was hurting too much to put up any kind of fight. I should have been surprised when Yuki sat down on the bed and put my head on his lap, but I was too out of it to care. Besides, the damp cloth he placed on my forehead made me hum in pleasure. Who knew something as simple as a damp cloth could feel so damn good?!

"You have a fever," Yuki said softly, but his voice sounded really loud in my ears.

I heard the medicine bottle be opened, my eyes had closed by this point from utter exhaustion. Then I felt a small nudge on my lower lip. Obediently, I opened my mouth and was rewarded when the miraculous medicine was poured in. I swallowed the bitter formula and immediately started coughing. I tried to tilt my head to the side, but Yuki had put a hand on either side of my face and kept me looking up. Because of the medicine, the coughing stopped quickly and thankfully didn't return.

"Please get some sleep Kyo. I promise, I'll be here when you wake up."

"Hn...."

I don't know why he said that, but I was grateful for it. Maybe that damn rat wasn't so bad after all....

Sleep quickly engulfed me, but as I drifted off, there was a strange taste in the back of my throat. At first I couldn't place the metallic taste, but as sleep overtook me, one word resounded in my head: blood.

**_Another cliffy!!! Please don't hate me!!! I love you all too much! I told you the angst would be back!! When I deliver, I deliver, neh?? Next chapter will be from Yuki's POV, hurray!!! Don't know when it'll be up though.... Soon.... I hope....._**

**_I'd love to hear your thoughts!_**

**_REVIEW_**


	14. Chapter 14

**_This chapter took forever!! I couldn't seem to get it quite right! So please, please like it!! Yuki is just so fun to write about and Kyo *drools* well, Kyo is amazing. So like this chapter and think of it as a belated Halloween present!! _**

**_ENJOY!!_**

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

**YUKI:**

I'd planned to stay up all night and watch over him. I really, honestly had! But somewhere along the way, as the incredibly long night chose to not end, I'd dozed off.

Before I unceremoniously fell into a light sleep, I periodically washed the cloth in the bowl to keep it fresh before putting it back on Kyo's forehead. His skin was so warm, I could feel the heat radiating through my pajama pants. A couple hours after I'd joined him and had the damp cloth cooling him, the cold sweat finally stopped. That fact helped to ease the tension that had been formulating my in gut. And the coughing... don't even get me started on the coughing.

Earlier, I'd heard Hatori's car pull into the drive. Deafly, I'd gone to my window and looked out just in time to see Kyo basically fall out of the car. Blood stained his shirt and he was having one of the worst coughing fits I'd ever seen. I had wanted to go down stairs and do something, anything that might help. But I couldn't bring myself to leave the room, I honestly didn't think I could face him. I didn't know what I would find when I looked at him. It wasn't the bruises that would make it hard, I could deal with those because they'd eventually go away. It was not knowing what kind of look I'd see in his eyes that me crouching by the door in the hopes of hearing what was being said down below. The look he'd given me before he'd left was still swimming in my thoughts and wouldn't go away.

I'd heard him stumble up stairs and take a shower. I'd listened to his little conversation with the worried sick Tohru. For the record, I wasn't eavesdropping, I just happened to have my back pressed against my door. I'd been sitting there ever since seeing Kyo fall out of that car... that image was hard for me to forget as well. I couldn't get over how much I'd wanted to help him, how much I'd wanted to be the one to catch him. Hence why I'd been freakishly jealous of Hatori... and still sort of was....

Anyway, I'd planned on staying in my room all night. I'd planned on leaving Kyo alone so he could get some sleep. I'd planned on sleeping in the following day so no one would be suspicious as to how worried I really was. So I'd planned on a lot of things, and I followed through on a grand total of: absolutely none of them.

All of my plans had changed approximately fifteen minutes after Kyo had gone into his room. And it was all because of that damn coughing. It sounded so strained that it made me guilty, so labored that it made me tired just listening, and so painful that it actually made me hurt. Why something like coughing had such a dramatic effect on me, I'll never know. But once I caught sight of the vile of medicine on my nightstand, I was suddenly on my over to his room. It was like my feet were moving on their own accord and I really had no say in the matter.

I didn't knock when I got to that stupid cat's room. Even if I had knocked, I doubt he would have been able to hear it over his noxious coughing. I walked in and found him worse off than I'd expected. A side of his face was swollen, he was shaking in a cold sweat, and he was undeniably feverish. Now, I could have just given him the medicine and left. But come on, I couldn't honestly, in good conscience do that. I wasn't cruel, I couldn't leave him alone. Not in the state he was in, it just wasn't conceivable.

And why I'd told him that I'd be there when he woke up, I'm not sure. I don't think I'll ever be totally, one hundred percent sure. Strangely enough, it had seemed to sooth him because he fell straight to sleep after I'd said that. Why would that comfort him though? I thought he didn't like me? So did that mean that he does like me now?

And why does that thought make my heart be faster?

Anyway, my sleep was dreamless and peaceful, I almost didn't want to wake up. Again, almost. When I heard Kyo cough lightly, my eyes snapped open on their own accord. It was like I'd unconsciously been listening for the noise somehow. I woke up rather quickly – which was a small miracle in my case – and removed the cloth so I could rest my hand against his forehead. I let out a small sigh or relief that he wasn't feverish anymore and decided that he didn't need the cloth anymore so I discarded it into the bowl.

Once the cloth was gone, I was able to get a good look at the expression on his face. For once, it wasn't pained or haunted, it was peaceful. Though there were still dark circles beneath his eyes and his skin was still pale instead of its usual bronze. Part of his face was still slightly swollen from where he'd obviously been struck, but still, he looked... good. Innocent even, it was really hard to describe. I was completely enraptured by it and couldn't stop myself from running my fingers through that soft orange array of hair. In his sleep, his head leaned into the touch and I felt my heart skitter a few extra beats.

The moment was promptly broken by a loud growling noise shattering the silence. Kyo grumbled in his sleep and his brows furrowed like he didn't understand where the noise had come from. It was all together very amusing for me, his facial expressions were just too much fun sometimes.

"Kyo," I called, lightly tapping on his un-bruised cheek. "It's time to get up Kyo."

His eyes fluttered open and immediately locked with mine. It was infuriatingly hard to tell what exactly he was thinking, but at least he didn't seem angry, so that was a plus. His stomach growled loudly again and I was momentarily kind of curious as to how such a huge noise could come from a stomach so small. I pushed the thoughts aside though, now wasn't the side to be sidetracked by such trivial things.

"Hungry?" I asked to break the silence, feeling somewhat skirmish under his intense gaze.

"Starving. Akito made me lose my lunch yesterday, the bastard."

"Come on then, it's only fifteen past eight so I'm sure Tohru won't mind whipping something up for us."

He lifted his head so that I could move about as I pleased. I stood and waited for him to join me, but he was taking his sweet time. As he sat up, his pale face somehow got paler and I belatedly realized that he was probably in pain. If Akito had made him lose his lunch, then he'd most likely been struck in the stomach. I vaguely recalled something of the same affect happening to me the last time I'd gone to see the head of the family.

"Does it hurt?" I asked taking care that no single emotion entered my voice that would make him get the wrong idea. Kyo was a prideful creature and therefore wouldn't take well to sympathy. Nor would he take kindly to concern, he wouldn't know what to do in a situation like that. And neither would I for that matter.

"Nah, it's not so bad," he said after he'd managed to get into a sitting position with his legs dangling off the side of the bed.

He was lying though. It was painfully obvious that he was lying. I didn't call him on it though, lying about how much it hurt was definitely something the old Kyo would do. I wanted to offer him a hand or something, but part of me was afraid of being shot down. Why I was afraid of something like that was a mystery, one that I wasn't particularly keen in trying to solve just yet.

Once he was up, I lead the way down stairs and to the kitchen. He all but fell into one of the chairs at the table and I surmised that it was because his body was weak with hunger.

"I think I heard something, quick! To the kitchen!" A chipper voice sounded and it was ridiculously easy to connect it to Momiji.

Sure enough, the blond came prancing into the kitchen with Kisa and Hiro trailing behind him. Momiji was smiling broadly when he entered and smiled even wider when he saw Kyo sitting quietly at the table. I was almost glad to see the three of them, until Hatori walked in after them. Seriously, why did this guy always show up whenever things started looking up for a change?

"See Kisa! I told you he wasn't dead!" Momiji basically blurted with uncontainable excitement. "Don't listen to Hiro, he doesn't know what he's talking about!"

"Kyo," Hatori said sternly, giving the cat a searching look that I totally didn't understand. "How're you feeling?"

"Er, fine I guess," Kyo replied quietly, meeting Hatori's look steadily.

The doctor nodded, then motioned for me to follow him, "Yuki I need to speak to you a moment."

I followed him to the living room before asking, "What's this all about Hatori?"

"I need you to keep an extra careful watch on Kyo from now on and I also need you to avoid any physical fighting with him."

"Why?"

"As I'm sure you noticed, he took quite a beating yesterday. The problem is that I don't know the extent of the damage, his body is too weak right now for me to run any tests."

"What kind of tests and what am I supposed to be looking for by keeping an eye on him?"

I was getting more worried by the second, none of this was sounding good and the fact that Hatori wouldn't come right out and say it was really beginning to bug me. Bug me, or scare me, it was hard to differentiate between the two at this point.

Hatori sighed, "I don't really know a good way to put this so I'm just going to come right out and say it-"

_Finally! _I thought, barely suppressing myself from tensing up.

"-It's possible that he has internal bleeding."

_What?! _I nearly exclaimed that out loud and I was pretty sure I could have been blown over by a feather with ridiculous ease. On the outside though, I had to remain completely calm, like I didn't care about the news either way, even though it was obvious to myself that I did care a great deal.

I forced myself to nod and say calmly, "Internal bleeding?"

"Yes, if he coughs up blood or even mentions tasting blood, I need to be told immediately. Has he said anything to you along those lines?"

I numbly shook my head, unable to fully comprehend the words that were trying to sink into my brain. Call me selfish, but I wanted Kyo to be in the clear! Wait, how could that be considered selfish when I wanted something good for someone else? Hold up a second, Kyo was supposed to be my enemy, wasn't he?

….

So, umm, if I wanted him to get better and wanted only the best for him, then did that mean he was still my enemy? My hand trailed up to my neck and stopped at the exact spot where he'd bitten me. It took me all of two seconds to decide that no, he wasn't supposed to my enemy, not anymore. Or at least, I didn't think of him that way. But then, how did I think of him now...?

"Yuki?"

I quickly snapped my attention back to Hatori, mentally kicking myself for totally spacing out from the conversation, "Huh?"

"I asked you a question."

"Oh," I mentally kicked myself again for acting so not like myself. "Sorry, what was it again?"

"I'd asked if Kyo had mentioned anything about tasting blood, or perhaps he'd coughed some up at some point?"

"No, nothing like that," I replied shaking my head as my thoughts raced to all kinds of different things which probably weren't good for my suddenly rising stress levels.

Without a word, I returned to the kitchen and was glad that Tohru was there and had thankfully finished blubbering of Kyo like I knew she would. She greeted me in her usual jovial style and went back to making breakfast. Normally the smell of scrambled eggs and toast would make my stomach growl, begging to be fed. On this particular morning, however, my thoughts were on a certain orange haired boy and therefore hunger didn't really register with me. Shigure came in at some point, saying things that were no doubt too perverted for the younger kids to understand and vulgar enough that I wished I didn't understand. I had taken my usual seat across from Kyo and noticed that he wasn't talking much.

Breakfast was served with Tohru asking where Hatori had disappeared to. I focused in on the conversation just long enough to gather that Hatori had had to get back to the main house. Breathing a sigh of relief, I zoned out again. I ate almost mechanically, going through the motions like I'd done so many times before. Many had tried to pull me out of my stupor, but it was no use, it was like I was dead to the world.

All I could think about was Kyo. I don't know how to explain it, but he'd somehow found away to consume my every thought. We'd barely spoken over the last couple days and because of this I found myself craving to hear his voice. Not the raspy, coughing tone he'd taken to, but his low, compelling voice that he used to have.

"So Kyo, how are you today?" Shigure asked and just the sound of Kyo's name got me to pay attention to what was being said.

The cat almost looked confused for a second before reaching over and whacking Hiro on the back of the head. A satisfied smirk, one I felt like I hadn't seen in far too long, splayed across Kyo's boy-ish face.

"Ouch! What was that for Kyo you jerk!"

Kyo's smirk deepened, "That was for kicking me for no reason yesterday you damn brat!"

The exchange was just so, well, normal that I had to smile. Not a broad smile, just a little quirk of the lips as my eyes roved over Kyo's features. He and Hiro began bickering back and forth while Momiji inserted a jibe here and there just so he could feel included. For a second it almost seemed like things were going to go back to the way they used to be.

I could only hope.

Tohru cleared the table when everyone was done eating and I helped her do the dishes. Now that Kyo was starting to act like his old self, not completely but a little, I found everything to much more enjoyable. I was content to just listen to him converse with everyone, though his coughs would make my stomach sink. Eventually, things began to die down. The kids took Tohru into the living room to play and Shigure went to his study after he'd driven Kyo away with his perversion. Seriously, the dog had a serious issue. He needed therapy or something to tone down his raging libido.

After I'd finished putting the dishes away, I went to my room for awhile. I don't even know why I went up there. I guess I just couldn't think of anything else to do. I knew I wasn't ready to face Kyo about the whole internal bleeding thing, I didn't know what to say.

_'Hey Kyo, so Hatori told me that you might be bleeding from the inside... want to talk about it?'_

I literally laughed out loud as the thought crossed my mind. Psht, like Kyo would ever respond to something like that with anything other than a harsh scoff. Then again, maybe that's what I wanted to hear...?

I couldn't stay in my room for very long, I felt too confined. My thoughts were racing and there was nothing I could do that would get them to slow down. So I left my room and headed outside to get some fresh air. I avoided the living room, I wasn't in the mood to entertain the kids, Tohru could handle that. And I made sure not to make a sound as I passed Shigure's office, the last thing I wanted to do was get sucked into some perverted conversation with him. So, I went through the door that would lead to back and... nearly fell flat on my face by tripping over something that wasn't supposed to be there.

"Watch where you're going you damn rat," Kyo hissed, and I do mean literally.

"Stupid cat," I snapped back out of habit.

In honesty, I wasn't mad or anything. My reflexes had kept me from falling, I'd merely stumbled slightly, no big deal. He was laying on his back, he hadn't even roused himself in the least even though I'd most probably hit him right in the side of his stomach. His eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful the way he was laying there so calmly. I felt a little awkward just standing there like a fool, and I definitely didn't want to look like a fool in front of him. Why I cared though, I wasn't sure. So, I down on the edge of the porch and only belatedly realized that I'd sat myself down basically right next to him.

"All you seem to do is laze about these days," I said lightly, trying to break the silence between us.

He smirked a little and moved a hand to rest behind his head, "Well if you haven't noticed rat, that's sort of what cats do."

I scoffed, "Yeah, when they're not running around and sinking their claws into everything that moves."

His smirk deepened and I almost smiled, this was the closest thing to getting along that we'd ever gotten. And since his eyes were closed, I let my own gaze rove over his body. He was still thin, unnaturally so, but in the lighting he looked less pale than he had before. His face was still slightly swollen and it definitely wouldn't hurt him to get more sleep to take care of the dark-ish circles under his eyes. Those orange locks of hair were unruly, just the way Kyo liked it, and I really did smile at this. Perhaps he finally was getting better? But then again, I wouldn't know unless I asked....

"Kyo...?"

"Hnn, yeah?"

A single crimson eye peaked open to a narrow slit and the sight made me uncharacteristically flustered. I quickly pushed the neverousness aside, I mean really, it wasn't like I'd never seen his eyes before. Now I just had to find a way to word my next question. Ugh, why did this have to be so difficult?

I guess I should just go for it then, "Have been feeling weird lately?"

Both his eyes snapped open and I wanted to go cower away in my room. I honestly don't think I could have worded that any worse. At least he was running away though, that was a good sign, right?

"Umm, what?"

I fidgeted where I sat next to his midriff, "Uh, Hatori told me about, well, everything earlier before breakfast."

He looked anywhere but at me while his body tensed though he tried to hide it, "About the internal bleeding thing?"

"Yeah, that. So, have you...."

I didn't finish the sentence, he knew what I was asking. It worried me though when he didn't answer right away. Instead, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes again. I had no idea what he was thinking, but I did notice the way the breeze ruffled his bangs, pushing them over his forehead and into his face. The desire to reach across the short distance between us and brush those bangs aside was totally irrational, but that's exactly what I wanted to do. Had he not started to speak, I'm pretty sure my self control would have shattered and I would have done it.

"I _think _I'm fine," he said slowly.

"You think....?"

Ugh this conversation was just getting more and more awkward! My stomach was clenching uncomfortably, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that I didn't know what it was flipping over itself for!

"Last night, before I fell asleep, I tasted something-"

He didn't get the chance to finish because I'd roughly grabbed the front of his shirt and wrench him into a sitting position. His light weight and my own adrenaline induced actions made the whole interaction last but a short moment.

"What?! Why didn't you say anything to Hatori when he was here?!"

I stood up, pulling him with me, and slammed him a lot less forcefully than I normally would have into the closest wall. He grunted and I know it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do given his current status, but I was beyond pissed. He could die from this! Internal bleeding was not something that should be taken lightly! I may not know what I had been feeling these last few days, but I sure as hell knew that I didn't want to lose Kyo.

The terror that seized me because of the thought of losing him made me hurt in more ways than I knew was possible. And there was nothing I could do about it except grip his shirt tighter and try with everything I had to keep any emotions from entering my face.

"You damn rat," he choked out, hands grasping my wrists. "E-ease up and let m-me finish!"

I loosened my grip, but only slightly. He coughed a couple of times as his nails dug into the sensitive skin around my wrists.

"Well?" I demanded through gritted teeth, I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so angry.

"The blood I tasted last night, it was just the remnants of a cut from when Akito had bashed my face into the floor!"

"Are you sure," I asked in a decidedly quiet voice, not quite sure if I should let myself relax yet or not.

He stubbornly looked anywhere but at me again as he answered, "No."

Well, it looks like I wouldn't get to relax just yet. Damn angst....

"Stupid cat," I replied, not sure how I should respond.

He met my gaze then and gave me a searching look, "Why do you care so much?"

And there was the million dollar question. Really, it was only a matter of time before that issue turned up, why did I care so much? I wish I knew....

"I don't know."

It was then, as my body relaxed in resignation, that I realized how close we were. Only a a couple inches separated us and I could scarcely feel his warm breath ghosting over the skin on my face. He smelled good, like really good.

Spices.

Kyo smelled like fresh spices, kind of like the ones that I grew in my garden. Like I said, he smelled really good.

"Yuki?"

The way my name rolled smoothly off his tongue made me shiver. He'd called me Yuki, not 'damn rat' or anything of that nature. For once, I was a person to him. Maybe not a friend or even an acquaintance, but at the same time, not an enemy.

"Yes Kyo?"

I felt his grip on my wrist tighten as he flinched when I used his name. What that flinch meant, I didn't know. Once again, his face had become damn near impossible to read. When had Kyo gotten so cryptic?

He licked his lips and the action, though innocent, sent another shiver through my body.

"You can umm, let go of me now."

"As could you," I responded, glancing pointedly down at his hands still gripping my wrists.

His grip loosened. Mine, however, absolutely did not.

It was his eyes that did me in. Those pools of crimson that gleamed and flashed, catching any and every ray of light, it was entrancing. Before I could even really register what I was doing, I'd leaned forward and pressed my mouth against his.

It was like lightning, a white hot spark flew through my whole body. It made my nerves tingle and my head spin. Much to my delight, he tasted just as amazing as he smelled. The feeling washed over me and turned my mind to bliss as a warm feeling coiled in my gut. It was like I was melting, my whole body relaxed and I thought for sure that I would lose the ability to stand on my own at any moment.

But then it dawned on me: I was _kissing _Kyo. He wasn't pushing me away – he was probably in too much shock – and he wasn't reciprocating either. What the hell was I doing?!

I freaked out and said nothing as I disentangled myself from him and whisked into the house. I didn't stop until I'd reached my room and successfully locked the door behind me. I went to my bed and sat down, pulling a pillow into my lap and hugging it for dear life. What had I done?!

Deep down, I couldn't help but thinking that I'd just made an already complicated situation all that much more complicated.

Damn it all....

I wasn't sure how long I stayed there, just sitting, unable to think because my lips were still tingling in the most pleasurable of ways. I could hardly even begin to imagine what Kyo was thinking. Damn it! Why did I have to do that?!

I didn't leave my room for the rest of the day, not for anything, even meals. I just sat there, hugging my pillow, trying and failing to make sense of what I'd done and why I'd done it. And even after hours of pondering over it, I was still drawing a total blank. Tohru had come up a couple of times to offer me food, but I declined telling her I wasn't hungry. Which was the truth, I really wasn't, there was too much on my mind to be hungry.

When night had finally arrived, I decided that I'd sat there long enough. So, I fell over and took to laying on my side. And when I heard footsteps outside my door, I held my breath. It was Kyo, I knew it was. I don't know how I knew, maybe it was the tentative footsteps or the way he paused outside my door, but it was definitely him. Part of me wanted him to knock or barge right in while the other half – the smaller half – wanted him to retreat to his room. Unfortunately – or fortunately – he chose the latter and my stomach plummeted. I sighed as I heard his door close and the lock slide into place.

I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep, I was too worked up. But what had me worked up the most was the fact that I had no idea what Kyo was thinking. I just hoped that I hadn't ruined anything between us.

Because honestly... I wanted to kiss him again....

**_Well, how did you like it? Let me know! _**

**_I hope you all had a great Halloween!! And oh yeah, next chapter will be from Kyo's POV *dances* I'm sure you want to know what he thought of the kiss and of Yuki in general. I know I've been a bit vague on his thoughts so far, but I plan on changing that. And who knows, there could just be some more smut coming your way ^_^_**

**_REVIEW_**


	15. Chapter 15

**_Okay, so I fell like a bad author because I haven't updated this in ahwile.... but I have now!!!! I'm sorry for taking so long!! The updates will be coming faster on this one from now on, I promise!! _**

**_This is a pretty dang good chapter, more of a filler to set up for the next two. The encounter with Haru in this one is actually really important so pay attention, but most of all ENJOY!! _**

**_Once again, I apologize for taking forever, but I'll be a good author from now on._**

**_And there will be more Akito in the future as well so don't despair. I couldn't put him in this chap because... well, he didn't really fit.... hahaha_**

**_This chapter, like all the others, has not been beta read. So if you come across any spelling or grammar errors, kindly ignore them. I tend to type fast and my spell check doesn't do all that great of a job when it comes to sentence structure. Enough of my ramblings...._**

**_ENJOY_**

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**KYO:**

_Thump._

I don't understand.

_Thump._

I simply just don't understand.

_Thump._

Why did he do it?

_Thump._

Why in the bloody hell did he do it?!

_Thump-thump._

I mean, he _kissed_ me!!

_Thump-thump-thump-thump-thump._

"Kyo are you alright in there? What's that noise?"

"It's nothing Tohru, I'll be down in a little bit!"

"O-okay! Let me know if you need anything! Oh! And breakfast is ready!"

I waited for her shadow – visible from beneath my door – to disappear before I went back to my current task at hand.

_What am I going to do?_

_THUMP!_

"Shit! Ouch!" I hissed, rubbing my forehead where a nasty red spot had no doubt started to form.

Okay I admit, hitting my head against a wall wasn't going to solve any of my problems. In fact, it wasn't going to even help me with my problems. So why was I doing it? Here's the answer: because I didn't know what the hell else to do!!!!

I'd been up all night, the cough medicine kept me from hacking up a metaphorical storm, playing and replaying what had happened the previous evening and – _gah!! _– I still can't wrap my mind around it! I'd milled around the house for the rest of the day after my little... encounter... with Yuki. I'd completely skipped lunch and only had a few bites of dinner while Yuki had just kept himself locked in his room all day. To be honest, even though by all accounts I should be starving, I wasn't really in the mood for eating. My mind had been too full of things, or to be more specific, of Yuki. Gods, no matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Which brings us back to why I was still freaking out in my room like a bloody girl. It also explains why I'd been unceremoniously banging my head into the wall... but that's irrelevant. Everyone has their momentary lapse of reason, ya? I knew I couldn't hide in my room like some sort of coward for the rest of my life. I, Kyo Sohma, am anything but a coward.

Gritting my teeth together with new found determination, I began looking around my room for some clean clothes. Yes, cats are supposedly cleanly creatures. No, I do not keep my room clean in the slightest – though I must say that my general hygiene is impeccable. Yuki is the one that doesn't let so much as a particle of dust get out of place in his room. Growling, I pushed Yuki from my mind and went back to the task at hand. I absolutely refused to be side tracked by him any longer! Finding a clean pair of cargo pants and a navy tee shirt, I changed quickly and headed for the door.

Only to freeze with my hand on the door knob.

I thought I'd be ready to face Yuki after having had the rest of yesterday and a sleepless night contemplate everything. So why the hesitation? Well, maybe it was because I was powerless in this particular situation. I hate to say that Yuki had any kind of power over me, but as I stood there in that frozen state, I couldn't deny the solid fact. Enemies don't kiss each other, that's just a simple truth. But enemies don't kiss each other and _enjoy _it. Yes, I'd enjoyed it, much to my chagrin. I'd liked the feeling of his smooth lips pressed against mine. The only problem was, having thought about it endlessly, I'd come to the finite conclusion that he was just messing with me. Just trying to get the upper hand in our fights against each other. And damn it all, it had worked. I'd wanted to respond to his touch, I'd wanted to wrap my arms around him and kiss him stupid.

But at the back of my mind, uncertainty flared and all kinds of warnings started going off like little red flags. There was no reason for Yuki to like me or even care about me. I'm the cat, a fuck up with more problems than I can even count on my fingers and toes put together. Yet the thought of Yuki not caring didn't match up in the least with his actions and behavior towards me over the past couple days. But then what was up with him taking off afterward like I'd had the plague? Did he regret it, is that why he ran? Or maybe it was because he'd been curious and after sating his curiosity, he'd been disgusted? I'm a secure person, I rarely have problems understanding people, but Yuki is throwing me for a loop. He is like a damn rubix cube and well, I can safely say that I hate those.

Yuki would no doubt be at breakfast and I had no idea how to even act around him. Would things have changed or would he treat me like he usually did? Taking a steely breath, I unlocked the door and ever so cautiously opened it. I didn't know what I would find, or even what I wanted to find, I just knew I couldn't hide away in my room forever. With that, I left my room and headed down stairs to the kitchen.

"Good morning Kyo!" Shigure greeted jovially, raising his cup in a strange sort of wave.

I nodded to him, but my eyes had locked on Yuki. The rat was indeed at the table and for the record, he was pointedly ignoring me. He hadn't even so much as glanced up when I'd walked in, he just kept eating his breakfast while staring at the table. To his credit though, he did look distracted... but that didn't help to ease my nerves. He looked tired too, like he hadn't gotten much sleep either. Huh, well that made two of us, and it was all his fault. The air was so thick and heavy with awkwardness that I was almost positive that Shigure was picking up on it because of the strange look he gave me. And of course, poor – or lucky – oblivious Tohru was unaware that anything was astray. Shigure looked from me to Yuki then back to me again before smirking a smirk so smug that I wanted to punch it off his face.

"Well that's most intriguing," he mused, a devilish gleam in his eyes.

A hiss rolled past my lips unbidden, "Whatever you damn dog."

The stupid mutt laughed, an all knowing look on his face. Annoyed, I headed straight for the fridge to get the only thing in the world that could possibly make me feel better. Without looking away from Shigure, I reached into the familiar path of the cold fridge, mouth already beginning to water at the prospect of milk, and curled my fingers around... nothing but air. Confused, I let out a baffled – _huh?! – _as I swung my head around to find that indeed, the spot in the fridge dedicated specifically for _my _milk, was completely barren. My eyes widened owlishly and something just short of a yowl pushed past my slightly bared fangs.

Then a sound, a strangely symphonic and beautiful sound – one I'd never heard before – reached my ears and absolutely rang in such a pleasant way that my annoyance was momentarily forgotten. My head swung around to the noise involuntarily just as the sound abruptly stopped. If my eyes had been wide before, now they were rivaling the moon in size. Yuki, still sitting at the table, had a hand slapped over his mouth wearing a chagrined expression. My mind was spinning like a washing machine on full... had Yuki just _laughed_...?

Impossible!

Not a chance in hell!

There was just no way!

Yuki – the _ice_ prince – did not genuinely _laugh_ in my presence. It was always a dark chuckle, or snide smirk... never a real, heart felt laugh. Those types of things weren't directed at me, I am the cat, therefore, I'm supposed to get shunned. And yet, judging by the almost startled look and the hand over his mouth, I could only surmise that he _had _let a laugh escape. His mask had slipped and he'd laughed.

Now what was I supposed to do?

"Oh no Kyo! What's wrong?! Are you okay?! Do you not like what I made for breakfast? If you don't then I can always make you something else!"

I could have smiled and kissed the girl right then and there to convey my utmost gratitude. _Thank you Tohru_, the simpleton girl had just saved me from the most awkward moment of my life. To remain my usual self and to make it appear that nothing was amiss in my attitude, I pointed a haughty finger at the still open fridge and huffed.

"Where's the milk?"

I swear her face went from confused to startled to freakishly panicked in the span of .02 seconds. Truly a feat only Tohru Honda could accomplish, a girl of many wonders indeed.

"Oh Kyo I'm so sorry!! I must have used the last of it for the pancakes!! I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry! Please forgive me! I wasn't thinking! I'll go to the store right now and pick some up! I'm not the-"

"Don't worry about it," I cut in, surprising even myself with how soothing my voice was. Normally it came out irritated and rough – _gah! _– what's wrong with me these days?!

"W-what?! Nonononononononononono!!!! You're still healing! It's my job to keep everything stocked, especially the milk," she paused as we both flinched remembering the time I threw the fridge through a wall the last time the milk was gone. "And I don't know, I guess I've just been so busy over the last couple days that I forgot to pick up the back-ups! It won't take long I'll be back-"

"S'all right," I cut in again in that same soothing voice, knowing that if I didn't, she'd just keep going... and going... and going... and going.... "It's no big deal. You enjoy breakfast for once and I'll run to the store, I need the fresh air anyway."

She gaped at me which sort of insulted me, but whatever. No, I normally didn't willingly offer such services like that. On most occasions my arm had to be twisted and my life had to be threatened before I'd even consider it. Who knows, maybe I was just feeling particularly magnanimous... or I felt bad for making her worry and this was my way of atoning for it.... Either way, I really wanted to do this for her. And I hadn't been lying when I'd said I wanted fresh air, my head was so foggy and confused that I really needed to get out and clear it!

"Need anything else while I'm there," I queried, headed for the door.

But of course I never got to the door because I was tackled by an emotionally challenged dog that literally has more mood swings than the sky has stars. We landed on the ground with an audible _hmph _and I immediately began trying to push him off.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I hissed, all my previous annoyance back in full.

He raised himself to his knees and pulled me into a tight embrace – so tight, in fact, that I couldn't breath – "Oh Kyo! I'd never thought I'd see the day where your black heart would begin to melt and you'd be going soft on us."

I froze as the words sank in and my right eye began twitching as my usual aggression began boiling. It had been awhile since I'd last felt my old short temper flaring. And it must have been building up pressure from lack of use because I could basically feel myself getting ready to explode.

Three.

Two.

One.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'GOING SOFT?!?!'" The words came out rigid because of my raw throat, but they had the desired effect. Shigure looked surprised as he pulled back from the death grip, er, I mean 'hug.' I grabbed the front of his kimono and put all my pent up energy into throwing him across the room. "GOING TO THE STORE IS FOR _MY_ BENEFIT AND NO ONE ELSES!" I was really on a roll now, enjoying the feeling of adrenaline pumping through my veins. Grabbing the closest thing to me – which happened to be a chair from the table – I flung it at him with strength that even surprised myself. It hit the expanse of wall above him, breaking into gods knew how many pieces before clattering to the ground around him. Tohru was babbling in the background, but I didn't care, I was... 'enjoying the moment' so to speak. Glaring at the dazed and confused Shigure, I smirked as only a feral cat can, "Now I'm going to the store, if you need anything, feel free to get off your lazy ass and go get it yourself."

With that, I stormed out, only taking a few short seconds to stop by the door and put my shoes on. Going soft – _feh! _– how dare he! I'm anything but going soft. I was never allowed that luxury, I'm the freaking cat, I've had to build up walls around myself since I was born just so every look of disgust directed at me wouldn't hurt so bad. The bastard... there was no way in hell I was going soft.

But, I have to admit, I don't really think things through. Half way to the store, goosebumps had erupted all over my bare arms and my jaw was clenched painfully to keep my teeth from chattering. Winter was definitely on its way and whatever energy had allowed my little outburst was long gone. It was too late to turn back though, so I just kept going with the hopes of thawing out once I got to the store. The fresh air did help to clear my head though, and I almost wished that it hadn't. A whirlwind of thoughts bombarded my system, stealing the very breath from my lungs. Images came back to me like a huge collage of pictures.

Yuki holding me close to him at night when I was stuck in cat form.

Yuki's fingers sifting through my fur and good it felt.

Yuki's amethyst eyes sparkling with an almost warm emotion.

Yuki.

Yuki.

Yuki.

Yuki.

That's all I could remember. He was everywhere in my subconscious. I could think of nothing else but him because he was basically constantly with me for the past couple days. Him and his sweet scent, his gentle caress, and his soothing voice. That strong body that made me feel truly safe for the first time in what felt like ever. I'd never slept so well as I had in his arms, as strange as that sounds.

"You look like shit."

I turned to the familiar voice and came face to face with Haru. Thanks the gods it was White Haru, because I just didn't have the energy to deal with the Black one. My outburst earlier had really taken it out of me. I wasn't feeling sick, but I knew I shouldn't be out in cold weather having been through what I have over the last few days.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," I mumbled, crossing my arms across my chest to keep warm.

Surprisingly, he shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to me without a word. Normally I would have declined, but this time, I took the offering in haste, grunting my 'thanks,' eager to warm my frigid skin. Besides, he was wearing a sweatshirt underneath, so it wasn't like he was going to get cold from the loss of his wonderfully warm downy jacket. If I weren't in public at the moment, I literally would have purred at how good it felt. It fit nice actually, maybe a little on the snug side, but that was fine. Had I been my normal weight and what not, I doubt I would have been able to squeeze into it.

"Where you off to without a jacket in this cold weather?" He asked indifferently, ever a present trait when dealing with Haru.

"The store, there wasn't any milk in the fridge."

He made a noise which could have been a chuckle, "Well that explains it."

"Not my fault," I huffed with my usual defensiveness.

"Doesn't really seem like a reason to forget your coat...."

I rolled my eyes expressively, "Okay, so I may have blown up at Shigure for being an asshole."

This sparked some interest in those smoky eyes, "Break anything?"

"A chair."

"Nice," he replied in approval, but I could see his eyes wandering over my face. "Did Akito give you those? Hatori told me and the kids about what happened, but he didn't go into detail about it."

I scowled darkly, unable to help myself, "Of course it was Akito. Who else would delight in painting people with bruises?"

We started walking to the store in a comfortable silence. That was one of the best things about Haru, things would be quiet, but it wouldn't be awkward at all. He just had a steady air about him that soothed things over to a companionable state. And of course I'm speaking in the context of when he's White. When he's Black, the silence isn't comfortable, it's stifling and deadly. He was the only person from the house that I could honestly say that I didn't mind having around, when he was White of course, that goes without saying. For once though, I wanted to fill the quiet, wanted to say something to ease my slightly guilty mind. Even Haru had helped me, so he deserved something of a thanks.

But when it came to breaking the silence, he beat me to it. This day was just full of surprises.

"Do you remember anything about how you got back to the house?"

I shook my head, "You're the second person to ask me that, but I honestly don't remember a thing."

"Want me to fill you in?"

"Do I even want to know," I responded, letting a drawn out sigh push past my lips in a gust.

He debated briefly before nodding, "Yeah, I think you should."

"Then have at it."

"Well you single handedly managed to scare the shit out of everyone."

Despite myself, I listened intently while staring at the side walk before me like it had all the answer. A part of me wanted to know while the other part wanted it to remain a mystery. Kind of like the mantra 'some things are better left unsaid.' But Haru had already started talking and to be honest, I didn't quite like where the conversation was headed. He told me everything from my disappearance, to Yuki's vanishing act, to the all night search. And my stomach sank further and further into my gut with each word. I wasn't sure what was clawing at me more, guilt or embarrassment. I hadn't been trying to cause a scene when I'd left, I'd only wanted to... vanish. Those reasons, of course, would stay with me and me alone. I had no intentions of telling anyone what had driven me to such a sorry state. What I couldn't believe though, was how much Yuki had done for me. It didn't make sense and once again, things weren't adding up. His behavior and his words were like night and day. Both so completely different and I didn't know which one to believe. He says to my face that he doesn't care about me and then he goes and does something like that?

WHAT THE HELL?!?!

"Moral of the story," Haru said, concluding his recounting. "Don't do stupid shit like that ever again or I will personally kill you."

I couldn't help but laugh a little at his final summary, "I'll keep that in mind you bothersome cow."

"Can I ask you something though?"

"Hmm?" I hummed absently, distracted because the store had finally come into view.

He took a moment to gather his thoughts then floored me with a question I wasn't prepared for, "You're the cat, so don't felines have a natural fight instinct or something? I mean, you were in bad shape when you left and you still are, just not as bad. I guess what I'm asking is how you got to that point where your survival instinct meant nothing to you."

I gaped and barely managed to choke out, "Keh, umm, I don't... know. It just sort of happened I guess.... Do cows have survival instincts?"

"No way! We have the infamous 'fight or flight' instinct. But for me it's more fight less flight. Really, can you even imagine a cow running away from anything? It's absurd." He paused and glanced over at me from the corner of his eye, "You do look really tired, didn't you get any sleep last night?"

What could only be described as a _mrrrrow_ of laughter gusted from my mouth, "No, not even close."

"Why not?"

"I- …. I had other things on my mind...."

He cocked his head to one side pensively, "That's strange, you slept like the dead when you were with Yuki."

"WHAT?!?!" I practically sputtered, instantly going into denial mode, "That has nothing to do with it!!"

"If you say so," he countered with a shrug.

We reached the store and I went in to buy my precious milk. I ended up buying four containers; three for the fridge and one for me to drink on the way back. Haru was waiting for me outside and I was glad, for some reason or another I was enjoying his company more than usual. Normally it wouldn't have mattered if he was there or not, I wouldn't have cared in the slightest. But now, I don't know, I just... liked having someone else around to take my mind off things. I could joke with him and as long as I kept it playful, he'd stay White.

"I don't want to go back to the main house," he said as I left the store and joined him on the curb.

"Then don't."

"Want to go for a walk? Only if you're up for it though." He said indifferently, like he didn't care either way.

"Shouldn't I get the milk back?"

He scoffed and elbowed me in the side, frowning when he felt every single one of my ribs, "It's freezing out here, the milk will be fine. And why are you so gods damn thin?"

"A walk sounds nice then," I replied, ignoring his question all together.

Thankfully, he dropped the subject. We ended up walking down town, away from the main house and diagonal from Shigure's. It was, dare I say it, fun. The conversation was light and it wasn't ever anything too personal. Haru stayed White the whole time and actually made for incredibly good company and not once did we get in a fight, it was all just playful banter that didn't mean anything. Every now and then I'd catch him staring at me, eyes roving over my almost sickeningly thin figure and bruised face. He never said anything about it though, but I could almost see the hidden sympathy in his eyes. I'm glad he didn't voice his concerns though, I hated getting sympathy of any kind. It wasn't until the sun started to go down that we had to part ways, and for some reason, I knew his company was going to be missed. He was such a good distraction, and I really needed that.

I started taking off his jacket but he waved his hand dismissively, "Keep it. You can give it back the next time I see you."

"You sure?" I asked, brows furrowed.

He punched me lightly on the shoulder and smirked, "In this weather, you're skinny ass would freeze to death."

Instead of retaliating with my own jibe, I just smiled and ruffled his hair knowing how much he hated that, "Thanks a lot punk."

"Yeah, yeah, see ya around Kyo."

Indeed, once he was out of sight, I was missing him. Go figure. Sighing, I headed off in the opposite direction, but I wasn't headed for Shigure's. I was close to where Tohru worked so I decided that since I was nearby I should pick her up. In truth, I was really tired, the walk had taken a lot more out of me than I thought it would have. But I hadn't told anyone where I was so I figured I should atone for it by picking Tohru up. She'd at least be excited to see me, and I wasn't really looking forward to my next encounter with Yuki. Maybe I was just using Tohru as a shield, a delay from the inevitable, because I know I'd have to face him at some point. I just preferred that it be later rather than sooner.

It got colder and colder the farther the sun went down. I snuggled deeper into the jacket, thanking the gods that Haru had let me keep it for now. I checked the milk, and it was indeed quite cold. I'd had a second bottle during the walk, but really, I'd needed the energy. Yes, I was that tired. I found the building Tohru worked at with ease, my hands shoved in my pockets for warmth. It was such a nice sunset and the breeze, though frigid, felt sort of nice. I closed my eyes as the last of the sun disappeared and took a deep breath, the chill creeping into my lungs and soothing my throat. It sort of felt raw from all the talking I'd done with Haru, but it had been worth it. I leaned my overly slim frame back against a wrought iron gate so it could support my weight, and I became totally relaxed. Tohru would be down any minute and then we could go back to the house where my bed awaited me. I could almost hear it calling me, those warm covers and soft pillows. I sighed again, eager to get back for some much needed sleep.

But alas, my moment of serenity was broken by the one voice that sent chills down my spine, a feat not even the winter wind could accomplish.

"Where the hell have you been all day?"

My eyes snapped open and Yuki was there, standing not ten feet from me. I must have been really gone in my thoughts not to notice him coming. His eyes were burning, dancing amethyst, an expression I'd never seen him have. Another chill was sent through me and I just _knew_ that I wouldn't be getting any sleep that night.

Damn.

**_Well, how did I do? Once again, this was just a filler chapter. Whether you liked it, didn't like it, whatever, I still want to hear from you. _**

**_Just to reiterate, there will be more Akito in later chapters. _**

**_FLUFF, a lot of fluff is coming your way as well. So be prepared. The next chapter and the chapter after that will blow your socks off. _**

**_Next chapter will be from Yuki's POV, but then it will go back to Kyo's. HINT: Kyo's chapter is where you will drown in fluff. So be ready!! _**

**_REVIEW!!_**


	16. Chapter 16

**_Okay so this chapter turned out to be a little longer than I planned. It's just another filler chapter before all the mind numbing fluff. There's some fun and what not, it's mainly just Yuki working out his feelings and seeing a side of Kyo he hadn't been paying attention to before. So yeah, I tried to make it as fun for you as possible. That being said, I hope you enjoy the chapter and know that the fluff is definitely on its way!!!_**

**_ENJOY!!_**

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

**YUKI:**

The walk to the building where Tohru worked was longer than it usually was. I'd spent the whole day cleaning my already clean room and doing a whole bunch of other little odd jobs to distract myself from the painfully obvious absence of Kyo. The stupid cat had gone out to get milk, the entire day had passed, and he still hadn't come back. I told myself not to worry about him, that he'd be fine, but concern was constantly prickling at the back of my mind despite my valiant efforts.

So imagine my surprise when I walked down the sidewalk to pick up Tohru and found the cat leaning casually against a wrought iron fence. He had his eyes closed, hands in his pockets, with a plastic bag filled with milk hanging off a wrist. The sun had just set, yet his skin glowed in the light of the street lamp. The bruises on his face had lightened to a pale yellow and still made my stomach hurt with discomfort. He was wearing a coat I'd never seen before and judging by the way it clung to him, it must have been just a tad too small. But it looked good on him, hugging his features – however thin – snugly. The way his bangs hung down to lightly caress his right cheek made me want to walk over and run my fingers through the wily strands.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, I was supposed to be mad at him for leaving and not coming back.

"Where the hell have you been all day?"

His crimson eyes snapped open and surprise flitted across his face as he caught sight of me. He shifted uneasily and shivered, probably from the cold.

"Hi to you too," he said quietly, somewhat sarcastically.

I let out a breath and cautiously walked closer, "Where'd you get the coat?"

He leaned further back on the fence, "When I went to the store I ran into Haru. He invited me to go for a walk so that's where I've been."

Wait, wait, wait, Kyo and Haru? Since when do they just casually hang out to pass the time?

"Well that explains where you go the jacket," I replied, moving to lean against the wall opposite him.

His bright eyes watched my every movement, I'd never felt so scrutinized in my entire life. It was like he was breaking me down little by little, who knew he had such power over me? I mean, I actually felt nervous under his intense gaze. Nervous of all things! What is happening to me?!?!

"Yeah, kind of felt like an idiot for forgetting mine."

I smirked knowingly, "Only kind of? You owe Haru your life, you'd be dead by now without that jacket."

Instead of rising to the bait like I thought he would, Kyo just shrugged, "Eh, I'll thank him one way or another. He actually isn't that bad to have around... when he's White."

I nodded my agreement and silently battled over what to say next. I wanted to talk to him about yesterday, I _needed_ to find out what was going through his thick and strangely enigmatic mind. The only problem was, I didn't even know where to start. By the way he was looking at me, I knew he was waiting for me to speak. This whole thing was such a mess, an utter and complete mess. I hated to admit it, but I was scared he'd turn me down before even hearing me out. There were so many things I wanted to say, but fear of rejection was keeping my lips firmly shut. But then again, if I didn't speak, would he take that as a rejection? Would he think that I was regretting what I did? 'Cause I wasn't, not at all. With that in mind, I decided to suck it up and just go for it.

"Look Kyo, I-"

"Yuki?! Kyo?! Oh thank you so much for coming to pick me up!" Tohru called trotting over, a bright smile lighting her face. Turning to Kyo her smile grew, "We missed you today! Promise me you'll spend more time at home, I don't like it when you're not around!"

The cat blanched a bit, "Er, yeah... sure Tohru."

"Ohthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!" She blubbered, suddenly launching and him and pulling him into a tight hug.

_Poof!!_

The milk clattered to the ground, Tohru was left holding empty clothes, and I ended up wanting to slap myself on the forehead – which I didn't do. Cat Kyo stepped out of his fallen pants, his lashing tail the only sign of his annoyance. Tohru, as usual, began to panic in the form of an incoherent stream of nonsense. For some reason, she always seemed to want to give Kyo a hug any chance she got, so these types of situations weren't exactly new.

"Barely human for twenty four hours and I'm already cat again... figures," Kyo grumbled, more to himself than me or Tohru.

"I'm sososososososososososo sorry! I was just so happy, I forgot! Please don't be mad!" Tohru continued babbling, her eyes wetting with the hint of tears.

Seeing the formation of wet, Kyo hastily began reassuring her, "Why would I be mad? It was just an accident Tohru, forget about it already."

She scooped up his clothes and the fallen milk quickly, smiling the whole time, "To make it up to you, I'll prepare your favorite dish for dinner tomorrow! Will you be okay walking back as a cat or do you want me to pick you up? I wouldn't mind carrying you Kyo! You're so cute and innocent looking!"

"It's fine Tohru, I'll just walk. Now quit talking to me, people will think you're mental if they see you talking to a cat," he chided, not unkindly.

"Come on," I urged, taking Kyo's clothes from Tohru to lighten her load. "It's best we're off the streets when he changes back."

So, we started walking after a silent consensus that Kyo should walk between me and Tohru. I couldn't help but watch him as we went, the way those ears swiveled at every sound and those eyes lit up with fascination every other second was highly amusing. A dog barked in the distance and that caught both mine and Kyo's immediate attention – Tohru hadn't seemed to notice it. I ignored it only when Kyo did though now he kept his ears pointed in the direction the sound had come from. We were just about ready to enter the woods and leave the city beyond when Kyo hissed angrily under his breath.

"Guess I'll be meeting you guys back at the house," he glowered unhappily before taking off, a mere streak of orange tabby in the light.

Not even a second after he'd taken off, a huge rottweiler tore past us, hell bent on doing just what dogs do best – chase cats. And of course, Tohru freaked out, but I didn't blame her. Kyo was in no shape to be running much, let along sprint for his life from a massive drooling monster dog. So Tohru and I found ourselves running along the path back toward the house and the whole time a steady panic continued to rise. I was the first to the door when we made it back to the house and I didn't waste any time in flinging it open, nearly ripping it off the hinges.

"KYO?!?!" Tohru called making me flinch because she was standing right next to me and therefore had yelled right into my ear.

A human and fully dressed Kyo came out of the kitchen and had to grab Tohru by the shoulders to keep her from hugging him again.

"Oh Kyo I was so worried! That dog was so big! And you're so thin! It's so cold out and, and, and I was so scared!!"

He gave her shoulders a light squeeze and managed a small smile, "It's okay Tohru, everything's fine. That dog is probably long gone by now, so there's absolutely nothing to worry about."

She nodded and smiled back, but the same could not be said for me. Once I'd seen that Kyo was really alright, an anger had become to swirl within me and cloud my vision. Kyo had dealt with Tohru – in a very efficient manner I might add – but now he had to deal with something entirely different: me.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" I seethed quietly, dropping the clothes and striding ever closer to the cat.

He let Tohru go and stepped around her to face me, "What are you talking about you damn rat?"

"Any _smart_ feline would have simply climbed a tree you stupid cat," I spat back, grabbing the front of his shirt roughly once he was in reach. "So why didn't you do what your instincts were no doubt screaming at you to do?"

My eyes had narrowed into a glare and he easily returned it in full, "No reason, guess I just felt like going for a run."

"Liar!" I accused haughtily, tightening my hold on his shirt, "What, were you not getting enough attention so you decided to do something stupid to get people to notice you?'

He shoved me back suddenly, crimson eyes flickering with defiance, anger, and something else I definitely hadn't been counting on, hurt.

"Of course not!" He yelled, anger over-riding every other emotion. "It's not like a asked the fucking dog to chase me! Yes, I'm well aware that I could have climbed a tree or something, I'm not _that_ stupid you asshole!"

"Then why in the hell didn't you do it?!"

"BECAUSE IT ONLY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN _ME_ OUT OF DANGER!"

We both fell silent after that, our shoulders shaking as we caught our breath and we continued to glare at each other. My glare, however, was slowly fading. The impact of the words he'd yelled at the top of his lungs were beginning to sink in and they didn't make much sense.

"P-please stop fighting," Tohru said softly, looking wide eyed and scared.

I sighed and forced my shoulders to relax, "I'm sorry Miss Honda, we're done now, right Kyo?"

It took a few seconds more than I would have liked, but he finally nodded, "Yeah. Hey, think you could put the milk in the fridge for me so it doesn't spoil? We'll get along now, I promise."

Looking satisfied, she went into the kitchen leaving me alone with the cat. He huffed, finding the nearest wall to him so he could lean back and slide down it so he could sit. It then occurred to me that he was probably exhausted from running like that when his body clearly wasn't ready for such things. As much as I wanted to let him sleep, my own confusion just wouldn't let me.

"What did you mean by that?" I asked, knowing that he knew exactly what I was talking about.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, "Does it really matter?"

I shrugged even though I knew he couldn't see the gesture, "I don't know, it might, it might not. We won't know until you tell me."

Kyo slit his eyes open and propped his right elbow on his knee so he could sift his fingers through his hair. He sat there in silence, debating the matter, I could basically see the internal battle going on. Eventually though, something won out over something else and he sighed.

"Rottweiler. That type of dog was a Rottweiler," he said, voice thick with resignation.

My brows furrowed in confusion on their own accord, "Yeah... but what does that have to do with anything?'

"That has everything to do with it," he snapped, hand still lost in his hair. "The reason I didn't climb a tree or use either of you to get off the ground was because that was a rottweiler." My confusion must have shown on my face because he huffed and continued, "Rottweilers are listed as the second most likely breed of dog to be involved in fatal human attacks. They're a powerful breed with well developed guarding instincts and are notorious for having potentially dangerous behavior. The one that we encountered earlier had a collar and was no doubt riled up for getting out of its house. Had I climbed a tree or something, you two would have been the next closest thing for it to go after. Of course the chances of it going after either of you were slim, but if you'd tried to help me, I have no doubts that that dog would have happily ripped you to pieces."

"Did it chase you all the way back to the house?" I asked, voice slightly hoarse as my mind worked to grasp it all.

He smirked lightly in response, "Nah. About three fourths of the way back it saw a squirrel and ran off."

I smirked just as Tohru came back out. The three of us spent an hour together before separating to go to bed. Kyo was the first to leave, seeming almost skittish, nervous even. I had half a mind to follow him and finally talk to him, but I just... couldn't. He didn't seem interested in hearing what I had to say, I mean, he was treating me like I was infested with some sort of plague. So I let him go and it was because of that that I didn't get any sleep that night. I just stared at the ceiling with only thoughts of Kyo filling my head. And the next morning, I was actually surprised that Kyo was still up stairs in his room. According to Tohru, he hadn't come down all morning. So I went back up to take a shower and change into some acceptable clothes for the day. When I got back out, Kyo still hadn't come down. Haru, Kisa, Hiro, and Momiji had shown up at some point so Tohru had her hands full trying to entertain them. Where the dog was, I had no idea. Tohru left eventually to head over to a friends house for a little bit and only then did Kyo grace us with his presence.

"Morning Kyo!!" Momiji suddenly greeted cheerfully, tottering over to the clearly exhausted cat.

For someone who had spent a good portion of the morning 'sleeping,' he looked like he hadn't gotten even a second of rest. The bags under his eyes were much more prominent, and for someone who was a morning person, I seriously thought he was going to fall over at any moment.

"'Mrnin,'" Kyo mumbled, rubbing an eye with the back of his hand groggily.

Haru smirked and walked over, punching Kyo's shoulder as he did, "Thought you were a morning person."

The cat grumbled something unintelligible and went to the fridge for some milk. I just sat at the table, watching in silence. Kyo and Haru really did seem at ease with each other, and that was a good thing, right? So then why did I feel a strange, uncomfortable tugging in the pit of my gut?

Kyo drank some milk and that seemed to wake him up because he turned to Haru and huffed, "I hope you're not expecting to get your jacket back, 'cause I've kinda grown attached to it."

"If you don't give it back asshole, I will go Black on you like you've never seen before," he threatened, features darkening.

Surprisingly, Kyo only laughed, "Whatever you say you bastard bovine. It's in my room, we'll get it later. Unless you need it now of course, I can run up and get it."

"Nah, it's fine, we'll get it before I rustle the kids outta here."

My heart was pounding throughout the entire exchange. How in the hell were they acting so comfortable with each other!? Wait, no, they weren't acting... it was real. I could accept that they were friends, I mean, Haru was like a brother to me. But the way they spoke, Kyo laughing, the kind exchange of insults, '_we'll _get it later,' it was all pretty much blowing my mind. I was jealous. There was no other way to explain it. _I_ wanted to make Kyo laugh like that. _I _wanted to exchange friendly banter with him. _I_ wanted to be invited to do things with him later like it was the most natural thing in the world. Gods, when had my mentality changed so much?? Not too long ago I wouldn't have hesitated in punching him in the face, and now, the mere idea of hurting him made me want to hurt myself instead.

"Hey, let's go in the living room and sit," Kyo suggested, putting the half empty bottle of milk away.

Haru smirked again, "Not tired from our walk yesterday are you?"

"Phssht, no way! Just... tired in general I guess...."

I could tell by the way he said it that he hadn't slept much during the night. And for that matter, neither had I. Come to think of it, I hadn't gotten barely any sleep for at least, what, two nights now? And the fatigue was really beginning to ware on me.

"Yuki, don't just sit there, come with us," Haru said with a softness he only reserved for me.

Kyo didn't even glance in my direction as he left kitchen, the kids following right on his heels. I was just about ready to leave after them when Haru's hand on my arm stopped me.

"Hey Yuki, what's wrong? You seem... distant today."

I huffed deep in my throat, "Had a big night last night."

I told Haru everything, starting with when I'd gone to pick up Tohru and ending with my verbal bash against Kyo. He listened silently, intently, just like I knew he would. Haru had always a good listener and almost annoyingly over observant. When I'd finished, he took a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking.

"Kyo is definitely full of surprises," he mused then turned a pointed gaze on me, "You care for him, don't you?"

See? What did I tell you? Too over observant for his own good!

_Deny, deny, deny!!_ My mind screamed, back pedaling at the feelings I wasn't willing to accept quite yet.

He must have seen the denial in my eyes because he said, "I've seen the way you look at him Yuki. You look at him the way I used to dream you'd look at me and there is no way you can deny that." I shied from the intensity in those eyes, but he wasn't done, "I saw the way you treated him when you thought you were going to lose him and I have to tell you Yuki, I'd never seen you more scared. So when I saw him at the store yesterday, I invited him to take a walk because honestly, I really didn't know much of anything about him. I'd wanted to make sure he wasn't the type of person that would hurt you if you two became involved at any level. And... gods, he wasn't anything like I'd been expecting...."

He paused and I found myself straining to hear more so I prompted, "What do you mean?"

His gaze, which had drifted earlier, snapped back to mine, "I don't even know how to describe it Yuki. He was... fun and easy going. Talking with him was incredibly easy and before I knew it, hours had gone by to the point where the sun was going down. I'm sort of... jealous you guys get to live together."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "Could we talk about this later?"

Thankfully, he nodded and smirked, "I bet Kyo is losing his mind having all three kids in there with him."

We walked into the living room just in time to see Hiro shove Momiji roughly away for getting too close to Kisa. That would have been fine had the little blond not fallen back and hit his head on the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch and scraped his knee on the hard wood floor. He landed with a _thud, _arms holding the back of his head like a life line. Tears began to well up in his startlingly blue eyes and I visibly cringed. See, Momiji cried a lot, but it was normally always just for show. When the rabbit cried – and I mean _really_ cried – it always takes damn near forever to get him to stop. Before any of us could even move or think about moving, Kyo was there. I don't know where he came from – though I'm pretty sure he hadn't been nearby when it had happened – but the gentle look on his face stole my very breath away.

"It's okay Momiji," Kyo soothed, kneeling next to the whimpering boy. "I'm sure it's just a bump, lemme see."

It took some coaxing, but the blond eventually let Kyo pull his hands away. Tears trickled down the rabbit's cheeks and small sobs that he tried to hide made his little shoulders shudder. But Kyo was gentle and patient, periodically using his thumb to wipe the tears away while sifting his other hand through cornflower locks.

"Please don't cry Momiji, there's no blood and I promise the stinging will go away soon." The cat said softly, removing his hand away from golden hair so he could rub soothing circles on the blonde's back.

"I-it h-hurts," Momiji stuttered, doing his best to hold back his tears.

Kyo's eyes flickered in sympathy, his expression soft with understanding. I'd never seen him like this before, not with so much compassion. But then again, I'd never been paying attention to him other than when we fought. And now I regretted it. This Kyo was breathtaking, one of a kind, so full of an inner light that I was scolding myself for somehow missing it. A ripping sound caught my attention and I looked up in time to see Kyo tearing one of the sleeves off his tee shirt. At first I didn't understand, but then he pressed it to Momiji's knee, letting it soak of the small amount of blood that had formed. After telling the blond to hold the clothe in place, Kyo suddenly scooped Momiji up, holding him with only his right arm so the younger could wrap his legs around the cat's thin midriff.

"I'll tell you what, let's go into the kitchen and get you an ice pack, and maybe some ice cream while we're at it. Then afterward, we'll kick Hiro's sorry ass in any game of your choice. How does that sound?"

A huge smile threatened to break Momiji's face in two as he nodded enthusiastically, tears basically forgotten.

"Can you be on my team?" Momiji asked while Kyo dutifully brushed the last of the fading tears away with the thumb of his free hand.

"I'll do whatever you want me to blondie," Kyo replied affectionately, trying to hide the curl of his lips.

Momiji wrapped his arms around Kyo's neck – making him stiffen in obvious discomfort – and trilled, "To the kitchen!!"

The cat rolled his eyes, but did as he was told. He'd only gotten to take about two steps when small fingers curled around his left hand which had fallen limp to his side. Curiosity was blatant on his face as he swung his head around to find Kisa clinging to his hand, her eyes wide and unsure.

"Hey gorgeous, you want some ice cream too?" Kyo asked, giving her an adoring smile.

She nodded and smiled back. Let me reiterate this: Kisa actually _smiled_ back. The only people Kisa really smiles at are Hiro and Tohru, I'd never seen her smile at anyone else. And she was _holding _Kyo's hand! What the hell?! Kisa normally won't even hold Hiro's hand and he's the one crazy out of his with a crush on her! Speaking of Hiro, when the other three disappeared into the kitchen, he'd sighed in resignation and followed. This left me – still flabbergasted – with an equally as mind boggled Haru.

"H-has he always been like that?" I asked, silently cursing myself for allowing an out of character stutter.

Haru huffed and sat on the couch with a heavy flop, "Yeah actually... I think so."

"I knew he didn't like it when people cried, but...-"

"You don't see that side of him very often," Haru finished, knowing exactly what I was talking about without me even having to say it.

I ran a hand through my hair and took a seat on the couch next to the cow. Laughter drifted into the living room through the kitchen door and it was quite easy to pick out Kyo's vibrant chord when it was mixed with higher pitched voices. And I suddenly wanted to be there too, I wanted to watch him laugh and be there when those eyes lit up with mirth. It was rare to see or hear Kyo laugh, but I found I liked the sound.

I liked the sound a lot.

"Hey... Yuki?"

Haru's voiced startled me from my musings and I turned to him – I had to turn because my eyes had drifted to stare at the kitchen door – "Yeah?"

He shifted uneasily, which was strange for Haru, "You remember how I used to feel about you, right?"

I nodded, "Yes, but you said you were over it, that it was just a childish infatuation."

"I am and it was!" He assured with absolute certainty, "Really, I view you as nothing but a friend and basic brother now. It's just... I'd never really noticed Kyo before because before, he was just the cat, an outcast of the family. But when we got the call that he'd gone missing... I don't know... an uneasiness like I've never known gripped me. I suddenly couldn't imagine not having him around, hot headed and all. And now... well, now I notice him... and I- I like having him around." He paused and met my gaze, a flicker of something I couldn't place going across those smoky orbs. "I want to be his friend Yuki, but I can already tell you that if he's available, falling for him is going to be an easy thing to do."

I was speechless, beyond speechless actually. Never before had I heard Haru say that about anybody and damn it all, I knew he was right. Strange noises and laughter wafted into the living room, but I ignored it for the time being. I had much more pressing matters muddling my thoughts and straining my emotions to the brink.

"Want to hear something crazy?" Haru asked, something akin to an abashed look crossing his face.

"Why not? This situation is already out of hand so go ahead and lay it on me," I replied drily.

He smirked and tilted his head in my direction, "Kagura, the one track mind boar, saw through Kyo's tough guy act before anyone else did. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Tohru saw through it too and that's why she can't seem to keep her hands off him."

My mouth went dry as I realized that he was right. That certainly explained why Kagura exclaimed on a near daily basis how much she loved Kyo and that also explained why Tohru was so attached to him.

There was a crashing sound and more laughing before Haru looked back at me, "What the hell are they doing in there?"

I stood and went toward the kitchen, the laughing getting louder with each step. More strange, loud noises were followed by bursts of almost hysterical laughter. It certainly sounded like they were having the time of their lives... but doing what, I didn't have the faintest idea. Haru was right on my heels as I flung the door open and... ducked to dodge a flying rice ball.

The kitchen was a complete mess!! Food was strewn all over the place, rice, condiments, and who knew what else covered the walls in every direction. And the powdered sugar... don't even get me started on the powdered sugar. All four of the kitchen's current occupants were smothered in it. Kyo was sitting close to the corner by the fridge – powdered sugar blotched all over his body – and he was holding his stomach laughing. Two small hands could be seen on either of his shoulders where Kisa was hiding behind him, using him as a human shield. Hiro and Momiji were on the opposite side of the kitchen, Momiji laughing so hard that a tear fell from his eye and even Hiro was chuckling through his always in place smirk.

"What's all the ruckus, I'm trying to get... some... work... done.... What happened to my kitchen?" Shigure asked, pushing past me and Haru to step into the danger zone.

His voice seemed to sober them up and Kyo cleared his throat loudly, "Umm... impromptu food fight...?"

The dog's right eye twitched and he pointedly left, calling over his shoulder, "I'm just going to pretend I didn't see that."

"Seriously," Haru voiced, a playful gleam in his eyes, "What happened in here?"

Kyo shrugged and pulled Kisa – also covered in powdered sugar – into his lap where she sat contentedly, "I'd told Momiji it could be any game of his choice... he just so happened to choose a food fight."

"I thought you just came in here for ice cream," I said, surveying the kitchen once again.

"Nope!! Not anymore!!" Momiji chirped happily and pointed to Hiro, "He's wearing it so all the ice cream is gone now."

Haru chortled and walked over to offer Kyo a hand up, "Who knew the pain in the ass cat would be so good with kids."

"Asshole," Kyo hissed, taking the offered hand and bringing Kisa up with him. He set her on the counter and she smiled at him... again.

"I started it with the ice cream on Hiro's head!!" Momiji blurted proudly, bouncing around on the balls of his feet.

Haru crossed his arms and leaned back on the counter next to where Kisa was sitting, "Whose brilliant idea was it with the powdered sugar?"

There was no answer... not a verbal one at least. Kyo smirked – a vicious, feral thing – and opened the cupboard just above Haru's head. A torrent of powdered sugar rained down, completely cloaking and painting the cow's upper body.

"I do believe," Kyo drawled, a deep smirk lining his face, "That that would have been me."

A riot of laughter exploded from Momiji and Hiro, I have to admit, even I laughed a little, though I tried to keep most of it in. The look on Haru's face – bewilderment mixed with disbelief – was just too much. The cow was normally so indifferent that such an array of emotions really was hilarious no matter how you looked at it. But that wasn't it, of course. Kyo picked something up and handed it to Kisa, whispering something into her ear as Haru continued to lean against the counter, completely frozen with no doubt shock. The tiger smiled and – with the help of Kyo – stood up on the counter. She walked along the top until she was standing right behind an unsuspecting Haru and with one last encouraging look from Kyo, she did the unthinkable. I should have known what it was when I heard the infamous _crack_, but it was the yellow yolk that spilled all over Haru's hair that got my brain to finally put things together.

Kisa – under Kyo's influence – had just cracked an egg on top of Haru's head.

I simply couldn't hold it in anymore, I burst out laughing, my voice echoed by Hiro and Momiji's laughs. Gods, even Kisa was laughing, looking to Kyo for approval, which he gave in the form of a smile and a nod. She walked back along the counter toward him and he helped her back into a sitting position, making sure she didn't slip and fall. Haru was eerily quiet throughout the whole thing and I thought for sure he was going to go Black at any given moment.

"You know Haru," Kyo began, feigning deep contemplation. "This look really does work for you, you should consider wearing it more often."

Haru turned his head slowly – the egg slipping off with a squishy _plop_ as he did – to face the smirking cat.

"You are _sooo_ dead," the cow said, his words low and meaningful.

Kyo laughed and continued to laugh even when Haru tackled him and pulled him into a headlock. The look on Haru's face clearly said that he wasn't Black, he was still White. In fact, there was a light in those smoky eyes that I hadn't seen in a long time. Happiness is hard to come by in the Sohma family and this was the happiest I'd seen everyone in a long time. You know those moments in life where you just want to hit the pause button to make the moment last forever? Well, this was one of those moments for me. Even though I felt like sort of an outsider, it still made me happy to see everyone else smiling and having fun.

Kyo and Haru continued to scuffle, throwing faux insults back and forth as they did. Kyo may have been weaker than he usually was, but he still proved to be a lethal opponent. He couldn't use his weight to his advantage anymore considering that he was basically skin and bones now, but he still managed to gain the upper hand. Haru was brawn, plain and simple. Honestly, he was the freaking cow and with shoulders as wide as his, he could get a lot of power behind an attack. But Kyo was the cat, which meant he was agile beyond all reason. He could literally twist himself out of any hold or attack that Haru threw at him. That being said, it only took Kyo about five minutes to have Haru on his back, the cat's knee pushing on the cow's stomach, keeping him in place.

"You may have won the battle kitty cat," Haru smirked, eyes positively alight. "But I will win the war."

Kyo didn't have time to react before Haru had reached up and grabbed the front of the cat's shirt and pulled Kyo down toward him. Not even I knew what Haru was going to do until it happened. Haru leaned up off his back just as Kyo came down and the cow licked – yes, _licked_ – a line of powdered sugar off Kyo's cheek. This illicited absolute squeals of laughter from the kids, but my jaw had only dropped and so had Kyo's – whose eyes were round in shock – for that matter. Haru chuckled in triumph and let go of Kyo as he leaned back down against the floor. Now, if it had been anyone else, that would have been weird. But considering it was Haru – the psychotic cow with two personalities – it wasn't all that strange. Unexpected, yes. But strange, not so much.

"What say you to that pretty kitty?" Haru taunted, smirk almost evil.

Kyo continued to stare for a moment and it was once again hard to tell what he was thinking. Of course if he was anything like me, then there wouldn't be much going on, just a constant stream of buzzing and incoherent mumbles that didn't make any sense. The cat blinked a few times, clearly disoriented beyond reason. Then an oh-so-sexy smirk – which I was positive he didn't know was sexy – spread across his face.

"No words necessary," he replied silkily and I had no idea what that meant.

But then it all became clear when he moved, lifting the knee that was pinning Haru before slamming it back down on the cow's stomach. He leaned forward just as Haru's torso came up from the force of the hit and Kyo bit – yes, _bit_ – Haru right on the neck. Apparently not even Haru had been prepared for that because a strangled form of a low yelp found its way from the cow's throat. Kyo didn't hold on for very long, mere seconds really. And when he let go, he lept backwards so he was standing with a few feet between them and a little hickey was left behind. Meanwhile, my mind was still grappling with the fact that there was licking and biting going on and I wasn't involved with it. Kyo offered Haru a hand, which the cow took, and the instant they were both standing, each started laughing. The kids were now laughing so hard that sounds wouldn't even come out of their throats. It was that rare silent laughter that happens only when your abs burn, your eyes are filled with mirth, and your body just doesn't have the energy to make any kind of noise or even hold you up anymore. Hence why Momiji and Hiro were using each other for support and Kisa was leaning against the counter.

I could only smile though; the scene before me truly a rarity when it comes to Sohmas. Just like that, after only two short conversations with Haru, I felt like all my feelings had finally been straightened out. I'd talk to Kyo, I'd smooth things over, and I was going to get exactly what I wanted. A peace washed over me as I watched them; once again wishing I could hit that illusive pause button and make the laughter last forever.

**_Don't you guys just wish you could hit that wonderful pause button sometimes?? I know I sure do...._**

**_Anyway, hope you liked the chapter!! The next one is about halfway done so it shouldn't take too long for me to post if all goes well. Feedback is always welcome!!_**

**_REVIEW_**


	17. Chapter 17

**_And I'm back! Sorry for the long-ish delay people, Christmas break was not a break at all hahaaha I was home for like maybe... an hour everyday?? I was one busy little bee!! But now I'm back at school and have crafted this lovely little chapter for you! Umm, yeah, it's a pretty good chapter, and things will start to speed up from him plot and relationship wise. So, yeah lol._**

**_Oh, and this story is unbeta'd so ignore any and all spelling/grammar errors. Thanks!_**

**_Special shout out to Llaelien, I know you were really looking forward for the next chapter and here it is!!_**

**_Another shout out to PocketXFullXofXDreams because you're my homie. _**

**_That being said,_**

**_ENJOY!!!_**

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:**

**KYO:**

Snow.

The whole room looked like it was covered in snow.

The fact that it was sugar based snow and there was a roof above my head which made actual snow fall impossible was irrelevant.

What. A. Mess.

The kitchen desperately needed to be cleaned and I sure as hell wasn't going to be the only one to do it. Grabbing a towel off the counter, I wadded it up into a ball and threw it into Haru's face. The glaring red mark on Haru's neck made me mentally smile. I'm not quite sure why I decided to bite him of all things, but he'd just licked my cheek so I don't know, I guess I felt obligated to retaliate or something. Well whatever, what's done is done I suppose.

"Hey! You brats make yourselves useful!" I said, looking to the three kids in the room.

To my surprise, they did as they were told. Now that was a first.... Even Hiro made an attempt to do as I asked, though he ended up doing something as simple as drying the counter off after Momiji had washed it. I busied myself with getting the floor cleaned because honestly, the floor was the place where everything had conglomerated. Kisa helped me by carrying around the sweeper and dustpan for when I needed them. I was surprised that Yuki was helping, not that I was going to say anything about it and risk him leaving. I wasn't stupid and the extra pair of hands definitely wasn't unwelcome. I had no idea how messy the kitchen was until we had no choice but to clean it. The powdered sugar was without a doubt the worst part, it was everywhere! It had managed to get into every single nook and cranny within the room. So I admit, it wasn't my brightest idea ever.

With everyone working though, it didn't take too terribly long for the kitchen to become suitably clean. Of course I was pretty sure that there was powdered sugar hidden in who knows where, but we got the majority of it tidied up. The task of cleaning the kids up, however, proved to be much more of a challenge. All they did was squirm and protest, except for Kisa. She, at least, kept quiet and didn't put up a fight.

"Momiji you idiot! We just finished cleaning that!" I admonished, slapping the soap from the blonde's hands so he wouldn't dribble it on the floor anymore than he already had.

Haru chuckled and bent down to clean up the new mess, "Is the kitty losing his patience?"

Since he was already by my feet, I kicked him. Not hard or anything, just enough to make him lose his balance and grunt. Yuki was drying off Kisa's hair and Hiro was already clean sitting next to her. The only one left to be cleaned was Momiji and he definitely wasn't making it easy. Haru had washed the left over egg out of his hair and gotten most of the powdered sugar off. I hadn't done anything to clean myself off, the kids were far too much of a handful for me to leave just yet. Though Haru was right, my patience was beginning to wane. Oh well, at least no one had mentioned anything about the ra-

"Kkkyyyooo!!!" Momiji sang in his whiny voice as he wiggled in front of me to get my attention.

"What?" I snapped back harsher than I'd intended to.

"Hows come you and Yuki aren't fighting?"

Gods damn it!! Right when I thought everything would be fine, someone had to go and ruin it!! And what was I supposed to say to that?! There was no way I could tell the truth, 'Well, you see Momiji, Yuki kissed me and now I have no idea how to react because I don't know if he really likes me for me or if he was just messing around to fuck with my mind.'

….

GAH! That sounded ridiculous even to me and I'm the one who was thinking it!! I cast a sideways glance over to Yuki to find amethyst eyes trained on me. At that moment, I was feeling more than just a little hot under the collar. He just looked so damn calm about the whole thing, like it was no big deal. Meanwhile, to me, it was a _very_ big deal!! A fucking _huge_ deal!! So much of a deal, in fact, that my tongue decided to tie itself into knots and refuse to answer. Yes, I was betrayed by my own tongue... damn appendage.

"They fight plenty," Haru said dismissively, coming to my rescue.

I could have hugged him!! But I refrained because first of all, I don't hug people and second of all, I was pretty sure he'd go Black and attempt to kick my ass. Heh, as if he could ever win against _me_. Even as tired as I am, I would never allow Haru – or anyone else – to defeat me!! And yet, at the mere thought of getting into an all out brawl with someone, I was suddenly even more exhausted then I was before. Sleep deprivation is a bitch, a cold, heartless bitch.

"Stupid cat," came the voice that cut through my thoughts like a knife, "You're making a mess."

I was then shoved roughly aside and I hissed as my hip collided somewhat painfully with the edge of the counter. I wasn't sure if Yuki had meant to push me with such force, but whether he intended to or not, it still pissed me right off.

"What the hell you damn rat?!"

"You're filthy," Yuki replied without so much as glancing at me. He kept all his attention focused on finishing Momiji up, "Go take a shower or something."

I could feel my face turning red as angered bubbled up within me. Suddenly, I didn't feel so tired anymore. Yuki must have felt my blazing eyes on him because he finally decided to face me. His eyes didn't reflect any of the anger I was feeling, instead, they were indifferent, which only fueled my annoyance even more. Hiro leaned with his elbows on his knees, a deep smirk on his face, obviously looking forward to the impending fight. Kisa shifted uneasily and Momiji looked like he regretted ever having mentioned anything. My fists clenched at my sides and I could feel my teeth bare on their own accord. And just when things were about ready to explode, a set of hands landed on me – one on each shoulder – and a hard chest pushed me in the direction of the door.

"We should get my coat," Haru murmured, ever the calm one. When I made to object he said lowly, "I refuse to stand by and watch you and Yuki fight, it really bothers me when you two do things like that."

And how could I resist against that? Sighing, I forced my anger to simmer down and I relaxed the fists still clenched at my sides. Stupid cow and his stupid stupidness. I glared one more time at Yuki and hissed under my breath before allowing Haru to guide me backwards out of the kitchen. Once out in the hall, things felt a lot less constricting and confining. It was like the air was clearer and I was able to successfully subdue my ever unpredictable temper. Sometimes, not even I knew when it was going to flare up.

Twisting myself out of Haru's grasp, I lead the way upstairs. To my great annoyance, by the time we reached the top I was tired again. It would be really nice if my body could just, I don't know, pick a fucking feeling and stick with it! All this up-down-up-down nonsense was slowly driving me mad! And the way Yuki was handling it all definitely wasn't helping my situation. It was as if he were untouchable; like nothing could get to him so long as he hid behind that damnable mask of his.

Well you know what?

Fuck it!

I'm tired.

"Don't think too hard or you'll bust an artery."

"Oh ha-ha," I replied drily as I opened the door to my room. "You're such a riot."

"Aren't I? Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his jacket from off the back of my desk chair. Instead of handing it back like a normal person would do, I settled on clinging to it and taking a seat on my bed. The mattress sank under my weight and the yawn that worked its way up my throat was irrepressible.

"You're tired too, huh?" Haru asked quietly, his eyes searching mine thoughtfully.

I shrugged and rubbed my right eye with the back of my hand, "Yeah, I guess."

The cow waved a flippant hand and casually commented, "Yuki hasn't been getting much sleep either. I wonder why that is."

Come to think of it, Yuki really _had_ looked tired earlier. Not that it was any of my business or even that I cared, I was just... curious. And as long as Haru was the one to bring it up, I guess it would only be natural for me to think about it. Again, I wasn't the one to bring it up... just thought I'd make that point clear. So now that _Haru _had brought it up, I let myself delve into the mystery that is Yuki Sohma.

"I dunno, I'm just having trouble falling asleep, maybe the rat is having the same problem."

Haru hummed thoughtfully and slowly sauntered around my room looking at various things, "It's possible, I suppose. Why can't you sleep?"

Yuki!

Yuki!

Yuki!

_He _is the reason I can't sleep!!

I forced myself to shrug as I yawned against my will, "Who knows. I've never liked the cold so maybe that's why."

"Nah, I think it's something else entirely," Haru drawled slowly, eying me coolly.

"Yeah? Like what smartass?"

The bovine huffed and took a few steps closer to me, "Who knows kitty, it could be all kinds of things. You might be worried about something or maybe there are things going on that you don't quite understand, which wouldn't be a surprise if your intelligence level is any indication."

"Douchebag! Cats are actually really smart unlike the dumbass cow!" I snapped back as he took a few more steps toward me, only stopping when he was towering above me and he really couldn't go any further without running into me or my bed.

"Are you sure you're not sexually frustrated or something?" He asked, leaning down closer to my face.

Not going to lie, I freaked.

Slapping my hand against his chest I attempted to push him away while spewing, "What the hell do you think you're doing Haru?! Get the fuck away from me you pervert!!"

But did he get away? No, of course not! In fact, he continued to get closer! It got to the point where I had both hands splayed across his chest to push him back. The only problem was, I was sitting and he was standing, therefore, I had little to no leverage against him. No matter what I said or how I said it, he just kept leaning closer. He put his hands on both my knees and slowly slid them up over my thighs.

Seriously?! What the fuck?! He and I were talking and having a good time on our walk the day before, but what the hell kind of stunt was he trying to pull by hitting on me?! I'd thought about leaning back to get away from him, but that would have only put me in a more vulnerable position. Fuck, fuck, fuck-ity, fuck!! What is it with people hitting on me lately?! First Yuki, now Haru, what's next? Momiji?!?!

I momentarily stilled in my struggle at the thought and immediately began mentally screaming in horror: _Nooo!!! Anything but that!!!_

It was at that particular time, when Haru got within an inch of my face and I could feel his hot breath on my cheeks, that I remembered that I should be struggling. I looked up into his smoky gray eyes with their narrowed pupils and my stomach churned uncomfortably because I couldn't tell if he was Black or not. If he _was _Black then this was the strangest and worst kind of Black that ever existed! As it turned out though, I didn't really need to struggle because not two seconds later, he suddenly and inexplicably backed away.

"What in the fucking hell was that all about?!" I bellowed, sure that the whole damn world could hear me, but I didn't care.

He shrugged casually, like nothing had happened, "I don't know what you're talking about cat, I just wanted my coat back."

I sputtered and only now realized that the coat was indeed hanging over one of his arms. Damn him and his... well, just damn him!! Stupid cow!! Who does that sort of thing just to get their damn coat back?!

"Whelp, I think I'm going to round of the kids and head back to the main house. See ya around Kyo," Haru said, leaving my room with a back handed wave.

I didn't wave, I didn't call a belated goodbye; I literally just sat there, dumbfounded. He hadn't been Black, he'd been White... I really need to figure out how to tell the two apart 'cause it was freaking annoying not knowing! Sighing, I got up and went to my closet to pick out a new set of clothing. I ended up choosing a faded orange designer shirt and another pair of my favorite cargo pants. Why do I like cargo pants so much? Well, they're baggy and easy to move around in; 'nuff said. Last, I picked out a clean pair of black boxers even though the pair I was already wearing were still clean because I just put them on in the morning. Still, cats are naturally cleanly creatures, I'm no exception to that.

I left my room and headed down the hall to the bathroom. Grabbing a towel from the pantry by the door, I turned on the shower faucet and stuck my hand under it to test when it would be warm enough. Once I was satisfied with the temperature, I stripped and got in, letting the hot water sooth me. I purposefully kept my mind blank, only thinking about my current task of washing myself. This was strategic if nothing else, I honestly didn't want my mind wandering off to other things – cough, cough, Yuki, cough – which would result in most probably a bad headache. And a headache was the last thing I needed or wanted. I'd been through enough, I really needed a vacation or something!

I was in the shower a good long while, long enough for my fingers to wrinkle from all the water. It was only then that I decided to get out and dry myself off. I hissed to myself as the cold air collided with my warm, wet skin. My dirty clothes were shoved into the hamper and I quickly dressed into my clean clothes. I dried my hair before hanging the towel up on the door frame and heading back to my room. Not wanting to go downstairs because Yuki was probably down there, I put on my white hoodie that hung on the back of my desk chair and headed for the only place I ever really felt comfortable: the roof.

No, it probably wasn't smart to go outside in the cold with wet hair, but whatever. I missed my little perch on the roof and due to... health problems I hadn't been able to go up there for awhile. Quite frankly, in my own personal opinion, the roof is the best place any house has to offer. I made my way down the hall to the balcony and from there climbed the latter to find my shingle covered haven awaiting me. It was colder than I thought it would be, not like I cared though. I stalked over to my favorite spot right in the middle and laid down on my back to look up at the afternoon sky. The sun was still pretty high and there were a few clouds here and there. To the East though, there was a huge pack of lavender colored clouds headed my way which meant it was going to get a lot colder during the night.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Putting my hands behind my head, I raised a knee and relaxed. I kept my mind blank like I'd done in the shower only this time, since I wasn't doing anything, I thought about simple things like the sound the wind made as it whistled through the trees. Or the soft whispers of the bugs and birds as they went about their daily routine. It was one of the most relaxing things to listen to, the world could be so full of small pleasantries if you take the time to see it. Slowly, ever so slowly, I was lulled into a strange sort of trance. No, I wasn't asleep or anything because my eyes would periodically open whenever a cloud covered the sun. But I lost all track of time and took what some people would call a metaphorical 'chill pill.' It was nice, almost like the world had stopped to take a breath when in actuality it was the other way around. I was the one who was stopped while the world kept going, but it certainly didn't feel that way. And I didn't feel like I was being left behind, I just felt... comfortable.

But then, my little paradise shattered as the balcony latter squeaked to life.

I lazily slit an eye open and I swear a part of me died inside when Yuki's head appeared over the edge. I'd done such a great job keeping him from my mind and then what does he do? He shows up out of freaking no where!! He doesn't like the roof! He rarely ever comes up to the roof! He doesn't like heights! So I ask: what the fuck is he doing on the roof?! Yet another one of the greatest mysteries of the world.

"Hey," he said, cautiously shuffling towards me. Though I think his caution was more because of the height then because of me.

"Hi," I replied lowly, not sure what to say or do.

He took a seat next to me and pulled his knees to his chest, "It's getting late."

I opened both eyes and realized that the sun was already a fourth of the way gone. Shit! Where had the afternoon disappeared to?! Looking to the East, I found that the once lavender clouds had turned a deeper violet and had gotten a lot closer to the point where they were almost looming over the house. How in the hell had I not noticed that?! What I thought had only been maybe sixty minutes had actually turned out to be hours! And I know for a fact that I hadn't fallen asleep! Gods damnit!

Of course I didn't voice that I'm a total airhead out loud, instead I said casually, "Well a nice day like that couldn't last forever."

He hummed in agreement and I chanced a glance at him to find him staring at me. I gulped and I'm ninety nine percent sure that it was audible. He had that look. Not the look that said 'if you come near me I'll kick your ass,' but the look that said 'I'm about ready to kiss you.' I'd only seen that look once before, but it was impossible to mistake it for something else. The way his pupils were dilated and the way his face was soft, almost vulnerable... no, there was no mistaking it. So, I did the very first thing I could think of...

I ran.

I leapt off the roof and ran as fast as my legs could possibly carry me. I'm not a coward by any means and I hate running away from something without putting up a fight first. But this... I couldn't handle this. Not right now when I'm exhausted and can't even think straight about even the simplest of things. I swear if someone asked me what two times two was, it would come out fifty or something. So, I ran and I continued to run. I couldn't hear him behind me, not that I was expecting to, but I still ran just because I wanted to get further away.

Needless to say, I didn't look back. I just kept running with everything that I had. Eventually though, I started to slow. Even me with my near infinite energy had to run out of steam at some point or another. Especially since I was physically and emotionally burnt out to the extent that I could hardly string together coherent sentences. Not only that, but my 'near infinite energy' really needed to restore itself because I literally had next to nothing left. I slowed to relieve my burning, aching legs and there was a stitch in my side that was causing me much grievance. No sooner had I stopped, a strong pair of arms wrapped around me from behind. My legs gave out and whoever it was – though I was pretty sure I already had a good idea – fell with me. We landed with a _thud_ on the ground, both of us breathing hard, trying to catch our breath.

After the initial shock had worn off, I started to struggle, to get away, to distance myself from him, to ease the pain of the feelings I didn't understand. But his arms only tightened around me like a vice, holding me in place.

"I'm not..." there was a pause for him to catch his breath, "...letting go."

I immediately stopped struggling and held completely still. What was his deal?! One second he's treating me like total shit, the next he's holding onto me telling me he's not going to let go!! The words made my heart beat faster and threaten to burst right from my chest. I wanted to believe him, to fall into the caress of those words, but I couldn't. I couldn't allow myself to lulled into a false sense of security, that was how people got hurt. When they let their guard down just enough to let someone into their lives.

Deep, shallow coughs came from his chest and his hold on me loosened. If ever there was a chance for me to get away, it would have been that moment in his short – not to mention rare – span of asthma induced weakness. My mind screamed for me to take advantage of it and get away, so naturally... I... stayed... put...? Damn it all! I couldn't bring myself to do it!! I don't know if it was because he'd chased after me and therefore deserved to be heard out, or if it was because having his arms around me had thoroughly paralyzed my body. Needless to say, I didn't move. For one reason or another, I stayed.

His coughs were gone quickly while our pants evened out and I could feel his warmth seeping through the back of my shirt and hoodie. He still held me, even though I had long since stopped struggling. I could feel his breath teasing the nape of my neck and I had to suppress a shiver more than once. It was strange how the closeness of him sent my blood on fire and a strange heat began coiling in the pit of my stomach.

"Kyo."

I had to fight another shiver at the way he said my name; how it rolled off his tongue like he was the only person in the world that was allowed to say my name like that; it had my mouth going dry. I didn't know what to do. It was obvious he wanted to talk, that he had things he needed to say and for some reason, I wanted to see the look on his face when he said it. So I turned myself in the circle of his arms until I was facing him. His breath now ghosted over my cheeks as I rested my head tiredly against the ground.

The look on his face made me forget that I needed oxygen. Those amethyst eyes burned with a fire I'd never seen before, the mask he normally wore was completely gone. For once, there was nothing hiding the real Yuki from me. The heat in my stomach twisted itself tighter and my blood flowed faster, he was simply breathtaking. The setting sun glinted off his slate hair as the shadows cast from the trees danced in patterns across his pale skin. It was mesmerizing, and there was only a few inches separating me from him. Just a few short inches.

"What?" I queried in nothing but a defensive whisper, feeling unsure of myself.

He let go of me and stood, offering a hand, "Come back with me."

And what was I supposed to say to that?! 'No thanks, not right now,' that would never work! I had no options, so I did the only thing I could do and took his hand. He lifted me up easily and his hand lingered longer than necessary against mine before letting go. Gods I was so confused and unfortunately, wasn't quite secure enough with myself to ask. I mean, in less then two days I'd been beaten up, kissed, chased by a freaking dog, covered in powdered sugar, and _licked_ of all things! And to add to all of that, I haven't slept more than two hours in those said two days! Seriously, how much more can one guy take?!?! I'm way past of the brink of exhaustion and I'm so emotionally high strung that a violin would be jealous.

….

I just related myself to the taunt strings of a violin....

It's official, I've lost my feline mind.

"You coming?" Yuki asked, breaking through my discombobulated thoughts.

I didn't trust my voice, so I just nodded and we walked back to the house side by side. The walk probably would have been companionable had there not been a silent tension between us. It was like we both had tons of things to say but didn't have the words to say them with. This left the atmosphere between us thick and heavy; oppressing even. I didn't mind though, as awkward as it was, I didn't mind. Why? Because I really couldn't take much more, so the silence of any kind was welcome.

When we got back, he lead the way into the house and began heading upstairs. I, on the other hand, had a different idea. Doing all the running earlier – much like it had been with that damn Rottweiler – had been... difficult to say the least. And like any cat, I had a thirst that needed to be taken care of; a thirst that only milk could sate. Yuki stopped on the third step and gave me a questioning look when I passed him to head for the kitchen. He didn't follow me, which was fine, more than fine actually. I found that I could think better when those amethyst eyes weren't trained on me; threatening to burn my skin with their intensity.

I opened the fridge and found that the currently opened milk container was a little less than half full. Making a mental note to get more later, I took the bottle and downed it without stopping to take a breath. The cool liquid made me shiver as it went down my throat and pooled in my stomach. Gods, I swear there was nothing better then that feeling. I was comfortably full afterward, my stomach was still ridiculously small and couldn't hold much substance. Throwing the now empty bottle away, I went back out into the hall to find Yuki still standing on the stairs exactly how I'd left him. Now, normally I would have come up with a witty comment or snarky jibe, but not this time.

He continued up the stairs and I followed two steps behind him at all times. In a silent agreement, we took turns using the bathroom to clean ourselves up. Falling in the dirt wasn't exactly the best of things to do, especially when it was so damn cold out. We each found something else to wear while we were in there as well; something more comfortable to be lounging around in and while I was at it, I took my throat medicine. I was in a pair of gray sweatpants and a tight white tee while he put on light blue sleeping pants with a matching button up top. When we finally got to his room, he opened the door and silently motioned me in with a graceful sweep of his hand. For a split second, my blood froze and I couldn't move. It wasn't that I was particularly nervous, it's just, well, this was the first time Yuki had ever formally invited me into his room. If that wasn't a daunting prospect then I didn't know what was. Not only that though, I didn't know what he expected from me.

"Please come in Kyo," the rat said quietly, almost sincerely.

MAH!! He has_ got_ to stop doing that!! Every single time he says my name I can practically feel the goosebumps forming all over my body! Since when did he ever have that kind of effect on me?!

Huffing, I walked in while asking over my shoulder, "What? We're on a first name basis now?"

He didn't say anything as he followed me in and closed the door behind us. Once Yuki had properly locked it, the strangest thing happened. Instead of feeling trapped and awkward like I thought I would, I felt totally comfortable. It was like waves upon waves of serenity and calm washed over me, wrapping me in their warmth. My eye lids grew heavy on their own accord and I don't know, I just felt oddly peaceful. Like being in Yuki's room was somehow familiar.

He went over to his desk for something and my body seemed to have a mind of his own because I suddenly found myself not sitting on the bed, but laying down on it. I scooted until my back was against the wall and my head was on one of the three fluffy pillows. My eyelids felt heavy, like there was lead weighing them down and I simply couldn't keep them open any longer. Pretty much the instant they closed, I was fast asleep. It probably wasn't the best thing to do given the situation, but in all honesty, I couldn't help it.

-

I woke to the odd sensation of not being able to feel or move my right arm. Other then that though, I was really comfortable and I was finally – finally! – warm. I then became aware that I was covered with a poofy comforter, hence where all the heat was coming from. I was curled into a ball – which wasn't all that uncommon – with my back still pressed against the wall, but the arm thing was really throwing me off. Opening my eyes slowly, I came face to face with Yuki. He was still sleeping and the mystery of why I couldn't feel my arm became clear: he was laying on it. Sighing, because I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, I straightened my legs out and stretched them.

"So you're awake too, huh?"

I startled at the sound of his voice and looked back over to find that his were eyes open and trained on me. It was dark in the room but the moonlight filtering in through the window illuminated things just enough for me to see his face. The fact that cats have excellent night vision was probably the real reason I could see so well, but whatever.

"Uhh... yeah. Can I, um, have my arm back?" I asked, feeling a little weird that I even had to ask that question. He lifted his torso and I pulled my arm out only to narrowly miss slapping myself in the face... that would have been embarrassing. "Why were you laying on it anyway?"

He smirked and fluffed his pillow up, "So that if you decided to move or leave I'd know."

Well, that definitely wasn't what I was expecting.

"Oh. How long have you been up?"

"Only about twenty minutes or so. Before you even ask, it's just past three thirty."

I hissed at the time and the fact that my arm was tingling uncomfortably, "Shit! I hate waking up in the middle of the night! I can never fall back to sleep!"

"We share the same dilemma then," he agreed, rubbing one of his eyes with the back of his hand. Putting his hand down, he leveled me with a more serious look, "How do you feel?"

"Revived now that I've gotten some actual sleep," I replied truthfully. "Though something to drink definitely wouldn't go unappreciated." He nodded and promptly pulled the comforter back causing me to hiss as the sudden cold bit me, "Jeez! A little warning next time would be nice!"

"Do you want there to be a next time?" He asked, neither of us moving to get up and he actually pulled the comforter back down on top of us. "Because if you do, I wouldn't be against that."

My stomach was tying itself in knots and doing flip flops the entire time he was talking. Did I want there to be a next time? What exactly did he mean by saying all of this? Fuck! I didn't know! What I did know though, was that I was comfortable. I didn't really feel awkward even though I knew I should because I was laying with Yuki in Yuki's bed. But I don't know, the whole thing just felt sort of right in its own strange way. And shit, he said that he wouldn't be against it, so then what? He really does like me now and he actually wasn't trying to mess with my mind before? He must have seen my struggle because he then gave me the simplest and most sincere smile I'd ever seen; it made me totally forget everything I'd previously been thinking about.

"Kyo, if you asked me what was going on, I wouldn't be able to tell you. One thing I'm sure of though," Yuki said, slowly reaching out to brush some stray bangs out of my eyes. "No, one thing I'm serious about," his hand lingered to trace a line down my cheek to cup my jaw, "Is that I want to give this a try."

My breath hitched and I could hardly register that oxygen was a necessity, but I somehow managed to croak out a low, "Why?"

His gaze softened and his thumb gently stroked my cheek, "I don't know... but I want to find out. Not alone though, I want to find out with you right there with me."

I didn't answer, I couldn't find the right words to respond, they were caught in my suddenly dry throat. His thumb continued to caress my cheek with surprising gentleness and I just... I couldn't fight the look on his face. It was so calm, so open, so kind; I didn't stand a chance against it.

Unconsciously turning my face further into his hand I huffed, "Aw hell you damn rat! Why the fuck does everything have to be so complicated?!"

He smiled that same simple smile as before, only this time, it was somehow even more radiant. What made it even better though, was that I knew it was reserved just for me. For some reason, that made butterflies flitter in my gut even more then they had been before. It was right at that moment, when I found myself smiling back at him against my will, I figured out that I was totally, irreversibly fucked. When had I gotten so attached to the damn rat?! My gods I was acting like a little school boy confessing to their first crush!!

Woah, wait! Not that I was confessing to him or anything, there's nothing to confess! Right? Or wait, is there? I don't know! I'm so confused! My smile faded and I shut my eyes tight, silently praying that this thing – whatever the hell it was – would figure itself out on its own. I found myself curling up into a ball again and I can't really explain why; all I can really explain is that it's a cat thing. However, my knees never got the chance to make it to my chest because a body that didn't belong to me was stopping them. Yuki's hand trickled down my face, ghosting over my neck and shoulders before lightly settling on the side of my waist. It was such an innocent touch that I couldn't bring myself to pull away or even react for that matter. So I kept my eyes closed tight as he slowly pulled himself to me. I knew he was deliberately going slow to give me ample time to stop him if I wanted to... but I didn't want to. Strangely, I was interested to see where this would go and what would happen. I couldn't deny that I at least had some feelings for him, though what they meant was still a mystery. Yuki moved himself right next to me, so close that I could feel his body heat through my shirt, but he didn't touch other then the arm he had slung around my waist. I knew exactly what this meant; he was leaving the decision up to me. He wasn't going to move any closer unless I gave him expressed permission to do so.

And that... really meant something to me. It felt good knowing that he respected me enough to let me decide what was okay and what wasn't. He was obviously fine with being close, but was I? And if I did get close to him then what would happen to us in the long run? Would there ever be an 'us' or would this be just a short fling sort of deal?

I wanted to open my eyes and ask every damn question I could think of to clear the confusion, but I was reluctant to do so. I had no idea what kind of expression my eyes would give away if I opened them; I wanted to hide. I at least knew he wasn't toying with me, so that was a plus. I just didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to do something.

After a few more seconds, I made my decision. I didn't want to push him away, if he was willing to do all this for me then I should be willing to put myself on the chopping block right there with him. We needed to be on even ground if we were ever going to find a way to figure this whole mess out. Having come to my conclusion, I wasted no time in grabbing a fistful of his shirt with my left hand and pulling him to me. By doing so, I actually ended up finding out that Yuki's neck proved to be one of the best hiding spots that came with its very own mouthwatering scent. Not going to lie, Yuki smelled deliciously of moonlight and lavender. His arm tightened around my waist and I felt more then heard him take a deep breath, almost like a contented sigh. I could feel his heart pounding beneath my hand and that was my only indication that he was just as nervous as I was.

"You're really warm," Yuki murmured drowsily into my hair, his hand drawing lazy designs on the small of my back.

I think I may have mumbled something in reply and if I did, then it was probably unintelligible. I was too lulled and lost in his touch, his scent, and the feel of his warm body against mine. I could feel the dark tendrils of sleep beckoning for me and Yuki knew I was close to answering their call.

"Thought you said you wanted something to drink," he teased sleepily and I could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

"Maybe later," I replied, still clinging to him as I sunk deeper into unconsciousness.

He was quickly falling back to sleep as well and the last thing I remember hearing is a soft whisper, "I'll be here when you wake up."

And I believed him.

**_And there you have it, the next lovely chapter for this ever lengthening fic hahaaa I promised fluff and thus, I have delived exactly that. It's not all going to be fluffy, gooey, mushy, num-nums, but they'll have their moments here and there. Kyo will be completely back to normal in the next chapter and it will be from Yuki's POV._**

**_Thanks for stopping by!!_**

**_REVIEW_**


	18. Chapter 18

_**I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and I'm sorry again!!!**_

_**This update took a lot longer then I thought it would and: I'm sorry!!**_

_**So, to try and make up for my lack of updating, I made this chapter more fluffy then I'd originally intended. **_

_**I hope it reaches your expectations and the plot will thicken considerably in the next chapter.**_

_**It shouldn't take me near as long to update!!!  
**_

_**ENJOY!!!  
**_

**CHAPTER 18:**

**YUKI:**

"**The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender."**

– **Emil Ludwig**

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I woke with a comfortable weight pressing against my chest and I had to have a rather epic internal battle just to get my eyes to open. I'd never woken up to such an intense warmth, a heat that radiated through my entire body. Slitting my eyes open, I found myself looking at the ceiling... which meant I'd somehow gotten onto my back. The next thing I did was pin point the exact place where that incredible heat was coming from, and less then a second later, my eyes landed on Kyo. He was using my shoulder as a pillow, his left hand strewn across my stomach as he continued to sleep soundly. Smiling to myself, I sighed contentedly and closed my eyes again, preparing to just lay there and bask in the seductive warmth.

Less than a single breath later, my eyes sprang open and my heart started beating at an almost painful rate.

Kyo was there.

Laying next to me.

In my bed.

And it was real... it was really happening.

What happened the day before came rushing back to me and I thought I was going to have an asthma attack because it wasn't a dream. I'd really gone after him, we'd really come back together, and he'd really stayed with me. He could have left, walked out the door after I'd fallen asleep or not even come into my room at all. But here we were and I didn't know what the hell to do. What was I going to say when he woke? More importantly, what would he do? Would he get angry and leave, thus pretending that nothing ever happened? Would he think that the whole thing was a mistake? I knew I couldn't handle that kind of rejection! Especially after all we'd been through yesterday!

I really had to force myself to calm down and quit freaking out, I ever so slowly got my heart rate back to normal. The sight of him sleeping with such an innocent – vulnerable even – expression on his face made me lose my breath and I had to really concentrate to get myself to remember to breathe again. His mouth was slightly open as he took each tempered breath, the gust of heat ghosting over my shirt and seeping through the thin fabric. The bruises on his face were fading, turning a pale yellow color on his otherwise flawless skin. The dark shadows that had once plagued the underside of his lower lids were gone now, leaving him looking almost completely back to normal which I was very happy to see.

Raising my left arm – which happened to be the arm he was laying on – behind him, I lightly rested my hand between his shoulder blades. I could feel the knobs of his spine through the fabric and it really made reality crash down on me. Though Kyo was getting better, he was still incredibly thin, and I needed to find out just how in the hell he could have let this happen to himself. I mean, what sort of demons could have driven him to such a state? He never said anything to anyone to my knowledge and it happened so fast... I never want something like this to happen again. And honestly, I'm scared that it might. So, I need to find the root of the problem and figure out how to resolve it so this will be ancient history for the rest of his life.

The rest of his life....

Now there was a can of worms I wasn't prepared to tackle just yet. However, just because I wasn't prepared to think about it doesn't mean that I wasn't going to. In fact, once the thought crossed my mind, all it seemed I could ready to _was_ think about it. I cared a lot for him – obviously – so it was only natural that I wanted him to be happy, right? The only problem in that seemed to be that I had no idea how to going about making that happen. Wasn't I supposed to be smart? I'd always been top of my class in school with a near perfect GPA, so then why couldn't I figure this one out?

Looking down, I jumped a little when I found a pair of crimson eyes looking up at me with confounding ability to remain unreadable. We stared at each other, neither of us really willing to look away while we both seemed unable to really speak. What were we supposed to say? And it looked like it would be up to me to break the silence – though whether the silence was comfortable or uncomfortable, I really didn't know.

"'Morning," I ventured while my heart decided to freak out again.

Really, such drastic changes in heart rate can't be healthy by any means.

He shifted onto his elbow and looked down at me, brows furrowed slightly, "'Morning...."

His gaze was making me uncomfortable, but I refused to allow it to show, "Everything alright?"

"Fine, I guess...."

That was his only reply and I was just about to say something else when he fully woke up. How did I know? Well, all confusion disappeared from his features and his eyes grew comically large as his mouth fell open like he had words to say, but didn't know how to get them out. His gaze frantically went from me, to my bed, to my room, then back to me, then out the window, and down to the bed again. Kyo's mouth was open this entire time, like the words had died there and wouldn't come out.

"I- I'm in your room...."

It took a lot of restraint to keep myself from rolling my eyes, "That would be correct."

"On your bed...."

"Yes."

"With you...."

"That is painfully obvious," I replied, my patience waning ever so slightly.

It wasn't that I was getting particularly annoyed, it was just that he was literally stating what even an infant child would be able to pick up on. I understand that waking up in such a manner could be sort of discombobulating, but I'd woken up in the exact same state and had handled it pretty well. Granted, this was Kyo I was dealing with... perhaps I was expecting just a little too much.

"What the fuck?!?!" He half shouted suddenly as he pulled away from me, a bright red flush working its way up his neck to color his handsome face.

Yes, I'd definitely been expecting too much.

"I shouldn't-"

I never gave him the chance to finish, the last thing that could help the matter was Kyo yelling and freaking out. So, to fix the problem, I clamped my hand over his mouth and pinned him to the bed. He struggled at first, but quickly learned that I wasn't going to budge no matter how much he squirmed.

"Quiet," I hushed when he tried to talk around my hand. "The last thing we need is Shigure or Tohru coming up here just because you couldn't keep your voice down you stupid cat."

Kyo's eyes narrowed into a glare and he none too gently nipped at the palm of my hand. I didn't remove it though and I wouldn't do so until I was absolutely sure that he wasn't going to draw any unwanted attention to us. I'd only just come to terms with things and personally didn't want to go around telling people just yet. But Kyo... well, I wasn't entirely sure he'd come to terms with things like I had.

"You're going to be quiet now, right?" I asked, using my other arm to keep him from moving as his blush receded.

He rolled his eyes and nodded before I ever so slowly removed my hand, ready to slap it back down at any given moment. Kyo didn't say anything though and did, in fact, remain utterly silent. I moved entirely off of him so that we weren't even touching and propped myself up on my left elbow. He went back to watching me only this time, he was _really_ watching me because his initial surprise had worn off leaving him more alert than ever.

Sighing, I attempted conversation again, "How're you feeling?"

"Yuki, I slept in your bed _with _you last night."

This time, I couldn't help it, I slapped my hand to my forehead and scoffed, "Your ability to state the obvious is astounding! We'll deal with that in a moment, now just please tell me how you're feeling!"

He hissed and ran a hand through his hair, "I feel like I just s-slept in your bed with you! How the fuck do you think I feel you damn rat?! Yesterday, everything was normal and today... fuck! Today nothing is as it used to be and I don't know what to fucking do about it!"

I flinched.

I hadn't meant to.

But I flinched.

It sounded like he was regretting his decision to stay with me last night. His harsh tone made it seem like he wanted things to go back to the way they used to be, but they couldn't. I couldn't push my feelings for him aside and pretend they're not there when they obviously are. But then again, how could I continue to feel like I do for him knowing that he won't or can't return my feelings? Things were messed up, yes, but surely they weren't un-salvageable... or maybe I was just being to hopeful.

My heart was pounding again, but this time for an entirely different reason. It hurt; it hurt a lot more then I ever thought it could. Those words had been so simple and yet they'd cut through me like a spoon through Jello. Maybe I was only kidding myself... no one could care for me like that... maybe Akito had been right about me all along.

Shocked, I sat up and turned my back on him so that my legs were dangling over the edge of the bed. I'd hate to think that it had all been one big mistake, but it was certainly looking that way. Well, I didn't regret what I'd done, but if he had, then it wasn't worth it. We'd just have to pretend that none of this had ever happened and go back to being... enemies. Gods I hated how that sound. The mere idea of it sent bile forming in the back of my throat and made my stomach turn in on itself almost painfully.

"Rested."

That one word washed over me like a warm blanket on a cold day. Looking over my shoulder, I found Kyo still laying down with his left arm covering his eyes. His face had a deep flush again, but this one more controlled than the last one.

"What?" I voiced, twisting my torso around so I could face him.

He kept his arm covering his eyes while his other arm rested on his stomach, "I feel rested. I feel... better then I have in a long time," he ground out and paused. Grinding his teeth together, he took a deep breath and continued, "I feel like I got the best damn night's sleep while laying with you in your bed."

It was hard for him to say this, that much was obvious, but I was glad he was saying it. All my worries and all my trepidations were tossed aside with reckless abandon. Kyo, that stupid cat, had the ability to make me unhealthily anxious and unimaginably relieved with only a few short words. I had no idea he held that kind of power over me, but he did and there was nothing I could do about it. Smiling to myself, I turned completely around and sat cross legged next to him. Putting my elbow on one of my legs, I propped my head on my hand and watched him lay there. I could tell he wanted to run away like he usually did, but he wasn't. Granted, he was technically hiding behind his arm, but I was going to let that one slide just this once, only because the situation was so new to both of us.

"What if," I began, the soft smile still on my face, "What if I told you that I just got the best night's sleep while laying with a certain stupid cat in my bed?"

Lowering his arm, he looked at and I swear his intense eyes softened ever so slightly. Something must have caught his attention because his right hand suddenly reached out and I felt the tips of his finger lightly graze the edge of my mouth. It was due to this simple act that I realized that I was still smiling. He looked away and his hand dropped heavily back to the bed.

"I actually don't know what I'd say to that," he admitted, staring hard at my pillow. Something else caught his attention then and a corner of his mouth twitched in a half smile, "I did that, didn't I?"

I followed his gaze and saw that he was looking at the pillow he'd torn four holes into. Reaching out, I put my hand on the offending holes and chuckled to myself at the memory.

"Yeah, you did."

He shifted and put both hands behind his head saying, "Well don't expect me to apologize 'cause I'm not going to. Oh yeah, that reminds me of something...."

"Oh?" I queried, cocking my head slightly to one side.

"Remember that one morning you kicked me off your bed?"

It took me a moment to recall the incident, but by then it was too late. Moving faster than I'd ever expected him to, Kyo pushed my backwards and I landed heavily on my back. With wide, shocked eyes, I looked back to the bed only to find Kyo laying innocently on his stomach, his head propped up by both hands.

"Now," he said evenly, the ghost of a smile on his lips, "We're even."

We stared at each other for a long moment before the gravity of it fell on me and I... burst out laughing. It wasn't so much that I enjoyed getting pushed out my own bed, it was more that the action was just so _Kyo_ that it was funny. It also helped to lighten the rather oppressive mood that had sort of taken over without our consent. And I was relieved because this was more the Kyo I remembered, the energetic, playful Kyo. Granted, his attention was never directed towards me, but it was this time and that was all that mattered. That brightness in his eyes was back and more glorious then ever, I could only hope that it would stay that way... forever.

But I was getting ahead of myself.

I needed to concentrate on the here and the now.

Kyo got up off my bed and sauntered over to me, the hint of a smile still on his face. He didn't seem in a particular hurry and really seemed to be thinking something over, though what he was thinking over, I don't know.

"I don't know about you, but I'm kinda hungry," he said, extending a hand to me.

Taking the proffered hand without any hesitation, I nodded and he effortlessly pulled me up. Our hands lingered longer than was absolutely necessary, but neither of us were all that quick to let go. Our hands were roughly the same size though why I was thinking about something as outrageous as that during that specific moment, I don't know! His skin was warm, so unlike how cold he'd felt the night before, it was refreshing. But the moment was gone quickly as we let go, not wanting to make things awkward by hanging on for too long.

We headed down stairs and that was when my first day of hell began. It was about as normal a day as you could get starting with the most original of all things: breakfast. Kyo and I sat across from each other and Tohru was kind enough to make us a nice meal of bacon and eggs. Everything was exactly as it had been countless mornings, but then again, it definitely wasn't. All throughout the morning, the only thing I wanted to do was reach out and touch the person sitting across from me. He had never looked so tempting, so alluring, so... touchable. Maybe it was because I'd spent almost all night touching him, but I really detested the fact that I couldn't now. Not with Tohru or anyone else in the room... it sucked, like having an itch you couldn't scratch.

That was how the whole day went too which made it all suck that much more. When we were in the same room, I was yearning to touch him and when we were in different rooms, I was thinking about being with him. But we had to uphold that facade that we didn't like each other, like things were as they always were between us. So we didn't speak and the only time I heard his voice was when he was talking to Tohru or Shigure. My ears strained for his voice when he was out of sight and my legs twitched to go to him when I knew he was nearby.

It was the longest and most miserable day of my life.

Well, that probably wasn't true, but it sure felt that way.

We said next to nothing to each other, but his eyes, those burning crimson eyes, said more than words ever could. When no one else was there, they became soft and so gentle that it made my insides tremble. I don't know exactly what it was, but it was definitely a look I'd never seen him give anyone else. That in itself made me feel like I was walking on cloud nine, who knew one simple look could do that to me.

It was somewhere in the middle of the afternoon that I just couldn't take it anymore. I waited until Tohru was preoccupied with dinner and Shigure was busy in his study before cutting Kyo off in one of the hallways. It wasn't the most tactful thing in the world, but I was desperate!

"Y-Yuki, what are you doing?" Kyo asked as I slowly make my way towards him, a small smile creeping onto my face despite myself.

With each step I took forward, he took one back until his backside hit the wall and he had no where else to go. He was being _way _too skittish, but maybe this time, he had a good reason to be. I know I was being just a bit too forward with my advances, but really, I couldn't help it. He was obviously having trouble expressing himself and I was just going to do my best to push things along just a touch faster. Besides, I _did_ still want to kiss him again. On top of that, I'd done one hell of a job refraining from doing that the night before when I'd had the most opportune moment to do so. I mean, he'd been _laying_ in my _arms_ for crying out loud. So, I think I deserved another chance to kiss him and if I had to create that moment myself, then so be it.

"A little jumpy aren't you?" I asked quietly, blessing the sanctuary that the darkened hallway was providing.

"No, j-just wondering why you're looking a-at me like that...."

I smiled gently at him and continued my path forward, "Like what?"

Kyo never got another word out because I'd successfully closed the gap between us. He swallowed audibly and pushed harder back against the wall like he was trying to disappear into it. If I had known that I had this kind of effect on him, I would have done this a long time ago because this was the most amusing thing I'd ever seen. Things became all that much more amusing for me when I put both my hands on either side of his head and he began to squirm.

"Calm down already," I basically whispered, leaning forward to press my forehead to his. He stopped his squirming and held completely still, the palms of his hands pressed flat against the wall at his sides. It was obvious he was uncomfortable, but sometimes, that's just the way things have to be at first. The only way for us to get used to each other was to experiment and 'test the waters.'

But really, beneath it all, I had no idea what I was doing.

I wasn't going to tell him that though.

We were so close that I could feel his warm radiating from him through the front of my shirt and it felt... great. All I wanted to do was close that small distance and press myself up against that incredible heat, but I refrained. If I did that, he would definitely freak out and neither of us wanted that. His eyes had closed, but his head hadn't turned to the side like I'd thought for sure that he would.

"Kyo," I said lowly, taking in his tensed and rigid posture. He made no indication to show he was paying attention, but I knew he was. I mean, I had him pinned against a wall, he couldn't do anything except listen, so I continued in that same quiet tone, "I'm going to kiss you."

Once again, he didn't respond, but I took that as a sort of invitation to go on. Not that I was going to stop no matter what he said or did. It still felt right to offer him some sort of choice or warning as to what I was going to do. There was just that short inch or so separating our mouths and that was about an inch or so too much. So, without further ado, I made quick work of that distance and pressed my mouth to his.

It was my first try all over again.

He didn't move.

He didn't react.

He just remained completely still.

Pulling back, I found his eyes on me and I gave him a soft smile, "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?"

He didn't seem all that inclined to answer, so I took that opportunity to make my leave. Perhaps it was a touch on the dramatic side, but whatever. It had felt too good to touch him, even for that short amount of time. It was like Kyo was my drug and I was going to go insane if I didn't get my fix of him. I didn't particularly care that he hadn't responded – again – because each person moves at their own pace and once again, I didn't want to press him. I was rather proud of my amount of patience at this point because it was keeping me from going insane.

My day of hell and misery continued all through dinner a couple hours after the rendezvous in the hallway and not for the first time, I found myself craving to get closer to Kyo. It was literally driving me insane, mainly because this strong flow of emotions hadn't ever really made themselves known until now. It was overwhelming, but not entirely unpleasant. It was just troublesome because there was nothing I could do about it, no matter how bad I wanted to. I did notice that Kyo ate normal amounts of food throughout the day, so I was pleased about that. Among other things, I would smile to myself whenever I heard Kyo going off on Shigure every now and then because really, those incidences were many and close between.

After dinner, we all went our separate ways and did whatever the heck we wanted to do. I milled around the house, finding mindless and random things to keep myself occupied. I also made sure to spend some quality time with Tohru and even helped her do the dishes that needed to be done. Like I said, mindless and random things to keep myself occupied. Anything to try and get my mind off of Kyo, but there was a problem with that theory. See, to forget something, you have to remember what it is you're trying to forget, therefore, you're not really forgetting it, you're just reminding yourself of it more often then you would normally.

As you can see, I'd given this a lot of thought.

It was right around eleven that I decided to head up to bed. Kyo wasn't in his room so I could only assume that he'd taken residence on the roof or was laying on the porch. I could pretty much guarantee he was laying down somewhere, just like a lazy cat. If there was one thing that he was definitely good at, it was the lazy cat thing. To distract myself, I turned on my lamp, picked a book, and started to read.

And by midnight, I was missing him.

My lamp had been turned off for about a half hour and Kyo still hadn't come into my room yet, so did that mean I was supposed so go into his? I'd never gone into his room before and honestly, the idea was a little foreboding. But I wanted to see him! I'd been able to look at him all day and yes, I'd gotten to touch him – kiss him even – in the hall, but I wanted more. Call me greedy, but I wanted to touch him without having to worry about anyone coming around the corner and disturbing us. The annoying thing was that this was just day one, how was I going to get through day two if I couldn't even be with him at night.

And when the hell had I become so obsessed with that stupid cat?!

Just when I was about to give in to my cravings and go to him, the door to my room slowly opened. I then saw that familiar mop of orange hair paired with crimson eyes and audibly let out a sigh of relief. It felt incredibly good to know that maybe I wasn't the only one that craved the contact between us. I immediately sat up and began scooting over to the other side of the bed to make room for him.

"Wait, no-"

"No?" I echoed quickly, worried that I'd jumped to the wrong conclusion.

He closed the door behind him and shifted uneasily from foot to foot, "Can I umm, have the right side?"

Smiling in relief, I nodded and moved back to the left side, pulling the comforter back as I did. He got onto the end of the bed and crawled his way up to lay on his right side, his back facing the wall. It was then that I noticed that he really made a habit of putting his back against things. It was weird that I'd never noticed before and now that I did, I was left wondering why it hadn't ever caught my attention. The only time I could ever remember him laying down with his back exposed was that one night when he was coughing really bad and had that fever. I'd have to ask him about that later....

"Have trouble sleeping?" I asked, pulling the covers over us and laying my head down on the pillow to look at him.

He smirked and rolled his eyes, "I think you know the answer to that you damn rat."

I smiled – something I'd been doing a lot lately, "Well to be honest, this bed felt kind of lonely without you, stupid cat."

"Yuki?"

"Hmm?"

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you...."

I felt him shift on the bed and I opened my eyes to look at him only to find his face hovering slightly over mine. All I could see were his two large crimson eyes and quite frankly, that's all I really wanted to see. I could get lost in those eyes that could change emotions as quickly as a hummingbird's wings fluttered. He looked unsure of himself, but at the same time, determined.

"Something you needed to tell me?" I prompted because he seemed to have lost his train of thought.

He nodded and quickly leaned down, pressing his lips lightly to mine. My heart absolutely soared, nothing could describe my euphoria at that moment. Kyo was doing this, _he_ was the one initiating things without me having to do anything. I wasted no time in kissing him back, capturing his top lip with my own. Now _this_ felt right; knowing that he wanted it just as much as I did and gods I knew I'd never get tired of his taste. It was so intoxicating that I couldn't think of anything else as it flooded my senses and took over everything, including my train of thought.

Then Kyo's mouth started to move and my breath caught in my throat, hitching to match my sudden inability to breath properly. He rolled his lips against mine in one smooth motion and caught me completely of guard. I'd never thought that he, _Kyo_, would be so, so, so... I don't even know how to describe it. All I could really comprehend at that moment was how amazingly good it felt. All too soon, he was retreating, pulling those delicious lips much too far away from me.

"I wanted to tell you that no, it wasn't so bad," he said quietly, laying back down on his side with his back against the wall, a prominent blush coloring his face.

I smiled at the ceiling and found myself rolling over. I didn't stop until my forehead was resting gently against his collarbone and I happily made myself comfortable against his chest. There were two reasons for my actions: one, it was just me and him now so I didn't have to stay away anymore; two, I wanted to hide the blush that was taking over my face. Gods, I, Yuki Sohma, don't blush like a love struck school girl in front of other people. My smile broadened when his left arm tentatively and cautiously raised to rest on my waist. Even though it was a small and innocent gesture, it still felt incredibly good to feel protected, to feel cared for.

We were still exploring and still had a long way to go, but the initial barrier had been breached. Didn't that mean that from this point on, this would be easier between us. Sure, intimacy was obviously a big deal to Kyo, and it was to me too, but it was clear that we were both willing to make the effort. So I guess our first kiss really did mark the beginning of our odd and rather messed up relationship. It was like it had consummated everything, making it set in stone so that there was no going back. But that's okay, because I didn't _want _to go back, I was perfectly fine where I was. And that, for the record, was snuggled up against Kyo's chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his stomach rise and fall with each measured breath.

This was what happy felt like.

"I didn't think it was so bad either," I said, taking a deep breath, pulling his scent into my lungs and holding it there for as long as I could before exhaling.

"Doyouwanttogoouttomorrow?"

My heart sped up on its own accord.

He couldn't have just asked me what I think he just asked me, right?

There was no way....

"What?"

He took a deep breath and I could have sworn I heard his teeth grind together, "I said... do you want to go out tomorrow?"

Shifting, I looked up at him and found that he was trying to look at everything except me. That blush on his face was back, only adding to just how adorable the whole things was. And then it dawned on me, maybe I hadn't been the only one that had been frustrated all day at the lack of contact... maybe he really did feel the same.

"I'd like that," I replied, laying my head back down and resting my right hand on his slim waist.

"I would too," he said quietly and I could practically hear the smile in his voice.

It's official, Kyo is the only person in the world that can make my heart sing with on a few simple words.

I nuzzled my face against his broad chest and hummed in satisfaction as the heat warmed me, "Sweet dreams Kyo."

"Goodnight Yuki."

Those were the softly spoken words that I ended up falling asleep to and I couldn't help thinking just what a good night it really was.

_**There you go, hope you all like it!!**_

_**Next chapter will be from... I don't know whose POV. Suggestions?**_

_**Once again, more fluff then I'd intended, but whatever, I hope I managed to give you 'awwwww' moments. **_

_**Gods these two are awesome together....  
**_

_**REVIEW!!  
**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**First off: Big THANK YOU to Shikiyamachi for suggesting I do this chapter in third person POV. You're brilliant, brilliant, brilliant I say!!**_

_**Akito makes an appearance next chapter *dances* Angst, I has it!! But it won't happen like most of you are expecting muahahaaaaa**_

_**Oh gods, the fluff....**_

_**Anywho!! This hasn't been beta-read so ignore any mistakes, please and thank you.**_

_**ENJOY  
**_

**CHAPTER 19**

**YUKI & KYO:  
**

Waking up was quickly becoming one of Yuki's most favorite parts of the day. Normally, getting up in the morning was one of the hardest things for the Rat, but having a Cat in his bed was really changing that for him. The now familiar weight on his chest had him smiling even before his eyes had opened. It was strange that he was waking up before Kyo because the Cat was traditionally up even before the sun so he could begin his day early. Not that Yuki was complaining though, he'd much rather wake up to a slumbering Kyo than an empty bed any day.

Kyo shifted on his extremely soft pillow and slowly emerged from one of the most fantastic dreams he'd ever had. He wasn't quite sure what had roused him to consciousness, but whatever it was, it wasn't irritating him. Most commonly, whenever he was woken up by means other than his own choice, it pissed him right off. That wasn't the case this time though, so he ever so slowly pulled away from of the clutches of sleep and blinked his eyes open.

The first thing he noticed was perhaps the most obvious, he was using Yuki's chest as a pillow... again. This wasn't how they'd fallen asleep, but it sure as hell seemed to be how they tended to wake up. The second thing he became aware of was what had really woken him up. Yuki's arm, the one Kyo was laying on, was drawing light, lazy circles on his back. He now understood why he hadn't minded waking up though it really freaked him out how close he and Yuki were getting so quickly. Even though their relationship scared him, he didn't pull away from their gentle embrace, he simply didn't want to. It was nice to be cared for, wanted even.

"Morning," Kyo grunted, watching as Yuki's eyes slowly slit open.

The Rat continued to draw those same random circles, "Good morning." Kyo moved to get up and stretch his legs, but Yuki's arm forcefully kept him in place, "Don't you dare go anywhere."

"Why not?!" The Cat hissed, his head thumping back down onto the other's chest.

"Because you're my own personal heating system."

"Well Prince, your heating system needs a shower," Kyo groused, trying to get up only to be pulled back down again.

Yuki chuckled when another hiss sounded, "What are you talking about, you smell fine to me."

Kyo finally stilled and gave up his futile attempts to get up, "Whatever you stubborn Rat. So, have you thought about where you want to go today?"

"For the record, you're the stubborn one," Yuki shot back with a smirk that Kyo couldn't see. Idly thinking the question over, he replied, "Someplace out of town, away from here."

"We'll have to take a bus ride for that and just get off at one of the first stops."

Yuki considered this and rested his cheek against downy soft orange locks, "A train would be at least twenty minutes faster, why don't we just take one of those instead of a bus?"

"No gods damn it, we're taking a bus!" Kyo snarled haughtily, "Buses are fine, it'll get us where ever we need to go and who cares if it takes an extra few minutes? All that matters is that we get to where ever the hell we're going in the end, right?"

"I didn't know you had such a prominent dislike of trains," the Rat mused with a thoughtful glint in his eyes.

The Cat bristled and his shoulders tensed into a tight knot, "I don't have a fucking problem with trains, I just prefer buses! Now leave it alone already would ya!"

"Don't be so loud," Yuki admonished harshly, holding his breath as he listened for any noises from the floor below. When he heard nothing, he said, "Have it your way, we'll take the bus. What do you say, leave in an hour?"

"If you'll ever let me up!!"

Yuki scoffed at Kyo's snippy attitude and commended, "But you're so warm!"

"Cut it out and let me up!" Kyo yowled as he began to fight against the arms that held him.

With a small laugh, Yuki released him and watched in amusement as the Cat stumbled to his feet and nearly fell on his ass.

"You're quite graceful in the mornings," the Rat commented with an innocent expression on his face.

Kyo snorted and mumbled something about 'damn rats' before he disappeared, headed for the shower.

As the hour of their departure time drew nearer, both of them quickly became more nervous than they could ever remember being. It was one thing to go out, it was a whole nother thing to go out _together_. Yuki's mind instantly provided him with a definition of the word 'together' as a union, a company, an association, or – Kami help him – a relationship. Needless to say, it was the last one that had his blood turning to ice and his heart rate picking up. It wasn't so much that he didn't want that kind of interaction with Kyo, but damn it, the whole idea had his hands shaking.

Kyo's mind took him down a slightly different path than Yuki's had gone. Instead of concentrating on the 'together' part, he was more hooked on the term, 'going out.' In school, 'going out' usually meant that a pair was dating and at the house 'going out' referred to emerging from the house to get something from the store or an action equally as mundane. It was different for him and Yuki though, mainly because Kyo didn't know what the hell they were. All he could really say for sure was that they weren't enemies anymore, so that was a step in the right direction. To him, it really sort of depended on how their outing went.

Getting out of the house was surprisingly easier than either of them had thought it would be. Tohru had left a note saying that she'd gone to the store and Shigure was holed up in his office 'working.' So, they quickly and quietly wrote a notes of their own, each saying that they were leaving to do different things, and just for good measure, each snuck out of the house at different times. Yuki left after Kyo and was pleased to find the Cat waiting for him the sanctuary of the trees where the Dog wouldn't be able to see. The trip to the bus station took hardly any time at all and both of them bought their tickets without a word.

When the bus arrived not ten minutes later, they got on and sat next to each other in silence, neither knowing what exactly to say or how to get a conversation going. It wasn't for lack of having something to say, more of having a difficult time deciding how to get it started. So the ride was passed in silence as they left the town farther and farther behind. After about four minutes of staring out the window, Kyo had to clasp his hands together to keep them from shaking. He didn't exactly have a problem with buses, but they reminded him of something else and it quickly had him coming undone. What with the lurching motions and loud noises, it was unnerving! That wasn't the reason for his unease, of course, but he was happy to use it as an excuse.

The Cat's change in countenance wasn't lost on Yuki, though the Rat pretended that it was. He wanted to do something about it, he really did, but he didn't know exactly what. There were things he thought about doing, like maybe press his shoulder against the other's or rest his knee next to Kyo's. The only thing that kept him from doing either of those was not knowing how Kyo would react. It was one thing to do that in the solitude of a room or the darkness of the hall, but in public, that was completely different.

When they got off at the first stop about thirty minutes later, it was like a light switch had finally been turned on and they felt free to talk all they wanted to. The topics started out simple and slowly became more and more complex as they went along. It was common for them to start on one subject, but end up at a point that barely resembled the original topic. Each made a point to stay away from anything that would pry too much into the other and even without that element, neither really seemed to run out of anything to say. They walked with no particular direction and after about two hours, stumbled upon a small pond. It was rather pretty with its glittering water and was unsurprisingly not busy considering what time of year it was.

When they passed a grove of willow trees on the pond's edge, Kyo slowed and asked, "Want to sit for awhile?"

"Sitting sounds good," Yuki affirmed, following the Cat into the mass of willow trees.

They pushed their way through the wispy branches until they came to a clear spot that gave them a spectacular view of the pond. There weren't any ducks or swans, but that didn't take away from the beauty of it. If anything, it made the water all that much more appealing because there was nothing to mar the placid surface. Cat tails grew in bunches and were swayed by a soft breeze, but the wind didn't cause any ripples in the water. The area they were in offered a setting of tranquility that they didn't have back at the house and they both sat in a comfortable silence to take a moment and appreciate it.

"Do rats like water?" Kyo asked suddenly, his eyes still glued to the pond before them as the willow branches were ruffled by the same breeze that had the cat tails dancing with each other.

Yuki snorted at the absurdity of the question, but answered it regardless, "Rats aren't opposed to it, but we'll avoid getting wet if we can."

With a sigh, Kyo laid back on the grass and put his hands behind his head, "You're lucky then. You know what happens if I get wet, I mean, you should be grateful that I manage to suffer through showers on a regular basis."

The Rat chuckled and put his hands behind him so he could lean back on them. There had been something nagging at him for quite awhile now and he'd held himself back from saying anything before he thought Kyo was ready. For some reason, just sitting there with the Cat, surrounded by nothing but beauty, it gave him courage. It was a silent courage that seemed to run through everything around him and so, he steeled himself to ask the questions that had been bothering him since the beginning.

"Kyo?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you...."

Kyo looked over with a slender brow arched, "Why did I what?"

Yuki tore his gaze away from the pool of water and instead turned to a different pool, a pool of crimson. Really, the two weren't all that different. Kyo's eyes glittered from the sunlight just like the water and there was a certain level of peacefulness to them both. But the water lacked so much of the life that Kyo's eyes contained. The Cat could literally make Yuki feel anything Kyo wanted him to feel, just with one seemingly simple look. Yuki opened his mouth to finish his sentence, but no words came. So instead, he reached out a hand and put it on Kyo's chest so he could lightly trace the jutting ribs bones.

"Oh... that," Kyo said almost inaudibly as he shifted uncomfortably beneath Yuki's hand until it fell away.

"Yeah, _that. _Why did you do it?"

The Cat huffed and closed his eyes, "It- it's a long story."

"Then shorten it," Yuki quipped, tired of feeling left out of everything going on in Kyo's life.

Typical Kyo maneuvered an arm up to cover his eyes and whispered, "I don't know how."

Yuki sighed and pulled the Cat's arm away from his face. He didn't know why, but Kyo had picked up that habit somewhere along the way. He didn't like it how the Cat always tried to hide himself away from people which was stupid because Kyo really was an amazing person.

"Could you try, please?" Yuki asked once a slit of crimson could be seen through a thick line of lashes.

The next thing the Rat knew, Kyo had leapt to his feet and was frantically pacing. His eyes were wild, looking at everything but Yuki as they sought out an answer that they just couldn't seem to find. It was easy to surmise that this whole thing was incredibly difficult for Kyo, but it was somehow more than that. It quickly became apparent that this was something Kyo hadn't shared with anyone before and the words were sticking in his throat like bile.

"I don't know what the fuck you want me to say Yuki! I mean, if it were simple I'd be happy to blurt it out like I do pretty much everything else! But it's not even close to simple, it's fucking complicated!"

Yuki stood and watched in silence as Kyo continued to pace and rant almost hysterically. For some reason, the longer he listened, the more he was reminded of the pond he'd just recently been staring at. It struck him that perhaps the Cat and the pool of water had more in common than he'd originally thought. Beneath the water's supposedly calm surface, the waters were disrupted by the lives of its inhabitants. There was more to the pond than Yuki's eyes could see, just as there was more to Kyo in much the same way. The Cat was always hiding himself and his emotions away, making himself appear fine on the surface.

Who knew a cat would have so much in common with the very element that caused them so much grief?

"It's not like this is just something I talk about on a regular basis! Hell, I barely even talk about this to myself! GAH! I'm not implying that I make a habit of talking to myself, I'm just saying that-"

To cut him off, Yuki swiftly caught Kyo's face between his hands and said quietly, "Would you calm down please? You're making me dizzy with all this pacing of yours." Pausing, he took a deep breath and offered a small smile, "You know, it's okay to not know what to say sometimes. But this ranting and raving about like an absolute lunatic isn't going to help you one bit."

Kyo swallowed thickly and couldn't bring himself to move away from the Rat. Yuki's affect on him was strangely calming and actually allowed him to be able to think for a brief moment as the blood pounded loudly in his ears. He was over reacting and freaking out, he knew that, but he had good reason to do so. Yet as he looked into a set of shimmering amethyst eyes, some of the words he'd locked away for so long slowly came bubbling up to the surface and were soon spilling out over his lips.

"You were right earlier...."

"What exactly was I right about?" Yuki asked, gently stroking his right thumb over the now unblemished skin of Kyo's cheek.

The Cat unconsciously leaned into the gesture and choked out, "Trains. You were right, I hate them."

"Why?"

Kyo pulled away with a frustrated huff and vented by punching the trunk of a willow tree hard enough to leave the spot bare of bark. The hit skinned Kyo's knuckles to the point where small traces of blood welled up, but he didn't seem to care or even notice. He raked his uninjured hand through his hair, disheveling it, and turned his back on the silent Rat. Kyo was breathing hard, his shoulders rising and falling in a tense, erratic rhythm. Seeing this, Yuki slowly walked over and rested his forehead lightly against Kyo's back. The Cat immediately flinched away from the touch and moved to press his back firmly against the tree that he'd so recently abused. Yuki couldn't help the disappointed and somewhat hurt expression that flitted across his face and he knew that Kyo saw it.

"It's not you," Kyo explained hastily in a mumble, not meeting Yuki's eye. "I just don't like having my back exposed like that...," when Yuki didn't say anything in response, the Cat cleared his throat and forced himself to clarify. "Whenever I turn my back on people, they always found a way to hurt me. And Aki... He always made a habit of coming up behind me when my back was turned and would whisper something dark in my ear or hit me for simply being there...."

Yuki wrapped his arms around himself and resisted the urge to reach out to the Cat again. Kyo just looked so vulnerable and cornered with his back against the tree and a defiant glint working its way into his eyes. It was that particular glint that Yuki admired so much about Kyo. The Cat was strong and could withstand just about anything, he was resilient to most everything and thrived where most would falter. The Rat's eyes roved over Kyo's thin frame once more and, not for the first time, familiar questions bombarded his mind.

"There's more to your hatred for trains," Yuki said quietly, "And I'm not going to pretend to know what your reasoning is. I'll wait for you to tell me and it's clear you're not ready for that just yet, which is fine. But I want to know what pushed you so much that you felt you had no other way out and why in the hell you gave up.

"You-" Yuki shook his head and quickly searched for the right words to say, "You never just give up like that. No matter how many times I'd beat you in a fight, you'd still be ready and willing to butt heads with me almost immediately afterward. At school if anyone said something negative about you, you'd work your ass off just for the satisfaction of proving them wrong. What ever happened to that Kyo?"

"Why do you care?" Kyo rasped back, his nails digging into the tree from their place at his sides.

Yuki shrugged and shook his head, "I've asked myself the same thing countless times and I still don't rightly know. All I can tell you is that I do and once I figure it out, you'll be the first person I go to. I was... scared that day you disappeared and I don't want to ever feel so panicked like that ever again. Now don't avoid the question and this time, I want an actual answer."

"You were scared?" Kyo asked, looking up to meet Yuki's eye for the first time since he'd started cowering against the willow.

The Rat resisted the urge to sigh and instead opted to simply answer honestly, "Of course I was. The emotions surprised me at first, but I really couldn't help any of it."

"If I-" Kyo began but had to stop so he could clear his throat and collect his thoughts before continuing. "If I promise to consider your question and give you a good answer later, will you leave it alone for now?"

Yuki thought strongly about saying no, however, upon seeing the undertone of plead in those liquid red eyes, he couldn't do anything but nod.

"Just give me a couple days to get things together," the Cat said quietly, a faint blush dusting over his cheeks.

As if sensing that the mood needed to be lightened, Yuki's stomach gave a vicious growl, reminding him that they hadn't eaten anything yet and it was already past noon. Like a yawn, the gurgling stomach was then passed to Kyo and he could only scratch the back of his head sheepishly as they both chuckled nervously. On a silent agreement, they both left the cover of the willows and their deep conversation behind. The words still lingered between them, but it wasn't an unwelcome intrusion, just a subtle reminder of a talk left unfinished.

"Well, where are we off to?" Yuki asked, breathing a long sigh of something close to relief as they got on a path that would take them into town for some food.

Kyo scoffed, "I know this place about as well as you do which is not at all."

+++++==One Hour Later==+++++

Yuki had never thought that getting lost could be so much fun. They'd trapaised all over the town and had gotten practically no where. They'd fought almost the entire time about which direction to go, but they were small fights, fun ones at that. It had taken Yuki far longer than it should have to convince Kyo to get something for his skinned knuckles and that hat only lead to more good natured fighting. Now they found themselves sitting in a decent restaurant neither of them had ever been to before – Kyo's knuckles wrapped in white gauze they'd found at a local shop – fighting about Yuki's choice of food.

"Don't get it! Gods, get something else like... this one!" Kyo said, pointing to a picture of a burrito looking item on the menu Yuki was holding.

"Stupid cat," Yuki chastised with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes, "It's not like you'll be the one eating the leek soup."

"But I'll be able to smell it!!"

Yuki chuckled and rolled his eyes, "Alright, alright, I'll get the chicken hibachi instead. Happy now?"

Sighing in relief, Kyo sat back with relish, "Simply euphoric."

They went back to talking, but this conversing was a little different than it had been before. Where once they'd avoided questions that might pry too much, they quickly found themselves diving right into what they wanted to know, but they did take care in wording the questions as best they could. Neither demanded anything of the other and if one didn't want to answer a particular inquiry, the other didn't press and simply let it go for the time being. Verbal quarrels were a common occurrence, but instead of spitting out words that were meant to scathe, the words were softened the occasional chuckle or a lopsided smile. Things they normally fought about quickly turned into innocent debates where neither of them were trying to win, simply get their point across.

When they were in the middle of a particularly intense debate, their waitress sauntered up, "Can I take your order?"

Kyo smiled and handed her his menu, "I'll have the smoked salmon."

She jotted it down and asked, "Soup or salad with that?"

"Wanton soup please," Kyo replied, his brows then furrowing a little.

Yuki also handed her the menu and said, "Chicken hibachi."

"Would you like soup or salad with that?"

Without missing a beat, Yuki answered, "Leek soup would be great, thanks."

The waitress walked off too quickly for Kyo to say anything and that just left the Cat and the Rat staring at each other.

"Why you sneaky little rat," Kyo said quietly, brows still furrowed.

Yuki shrugged a shoulder with a deep smirk set on his face, "Eh, I do what I can."

"You asshole! You know I can hardly stand the smell of leeks without feeling sick to my stomach!"

"It's alright Kyo, I won't let the big bad leeks get to you."

"Fucker! Now you're just being a prick!"

"Hush, let's at least _try_ to act civilized," Yuki said pointedly with a mild glare that held no malice in the Cat's direction. "Say, I have another question."

"Of course you do," Kyo grumbled darkly, "Let's hear it."

"Why don't you go to the dojo anymore?"

The Cat sighed and took a deliberately slow sip of his drink, "You would ask that. Though I'd think that someone as 'clever' as you could figure that it's because I'm not on good terms with Shishou at the moment."

"Oh, no, believe me, I picked up on that one the day you practically had a heart attack when you were a cat and woke up to find him in the same room as you. What I don't understand is why you're so pissed at him," Yuki said, surprised that this was all coming out so conversationally.

"The Juzu beads are _never_ supposed to come off," Kyo replied, his eyes narrowing and gleaming with pent up anger and hurt.

"His intentions had been-"

"Not. Ever." Kyo cut in, emphasizing his point through clenched teeth.

Yuki nodded and dropped the subject, now knowing that Shishou was yet another sore topic for the Cat.

The lilt in the conversation didn't last long before Kyo said quietly, "You came after me that day too, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I suppose I did, don't ask me why because I honestly don't know."

Kyo scoffed and gave a lop sided smile, "You tend to say that a lot."

Yuki shrugged and chuckled lightly, "Well, I used to know. I used to think that I went after you that day for Tohru's sake, but I'm not so sure anymore."

They were saved from going down the path that conversation was headed when their food arrived. Kyo glared daggers at the small bowl of leek soup, but otherwise enjoyed his meal, eating everything that was set in front of him almost greedily. Yuki watched, amused, as the Cat devoured his food with reckless abandon. It was sort of cute really, the way he was downing everything without even having to take a moment and swallow.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so enthused about eating," Yuki chortled, finishing off the last of his soup.

Kyo had just polished off his drink – the only remaining item of his meal – and replied slowly, "Well, I think it's about time things sort of got back to normal, don't you?"

Yuki scoffed harshly and thought about everything they'd been through so far, "Sorry to tell you cat, but I don't think anything is ever going to be normal again."

"Eh, I'm kind of alright with that," Kyo said, carefully treading over the words as he drew random images on the table with his finger.

"I kind of am too."

Crimson met amethyst and they both themselves smiling minutely to themselves, glad to have found some common ground. Those words from when they were under the willow were still sifting between them, but once again, that was okay. They'd sort things out one step at a time and it was at this moment where their outing took one step closer in the direction of a date.

On the bus ride back, when Kyo clasped his hands together like he had on the way there, Yuki didn't hesitate in pressing their shoulders together in reassurance. The Rat still didn't know what Kyo's deal was, but that didn't mean he wasn't willing to help where he could. The bus got them back in their town right around five and they were in no rush as they slowly made their way back to the house. It was still pretty early in afternoon, but they'd planned it that way so as not to draw any attention to themselves. If asked why they were returning together, they would say that they ran into each other on their way back. When they entered the familiar woods, both of them relaxed a bit, glad to be shielded from the rest of the world.

"So, I kind of want to do this again sometime," Kyo voiced as casually as he could, though Yuki could hear the nervousness in his tone even though it was well hidden.

"Yeah? Well, me too," Yuki replied with a small, almost imperceptible smile.

The quirk of lips wasn't lost on Kyo though for he noted, "You look more approachable when you smile like that."

In that moment, Yuki's smile turned almost devilish. See, they were getting closer and closer to the house and the Rat had sort of been waiting for the most opportune moment to show Kyo just how much he'd enjoyed the outing. Surprisingly enough, fate had been so kind as to grant him that very opportunity he'd been waiting for. Yuki was a Sohma and therefore didn't have a very strong appreciation for fate, but for once, he wasn't complaining about its influence. They continued walking a few more steps until Yuki picked a stop he deemed adequate enough to appease his naughty thoughts.

"Yuki, wha-"

"Shut up," Yuki growled, pressing Kyo flush against the tree he'd chosen and attacking the Cat's mouth.

He was determined to make this kiss different than the previous ones they'd shared. Yuki wanted to imprint this one into Kyo's mind so the Cat would never forget it and want it in return. Kyo had been skittish this whole time about intimacy, but Yuki had his mind set to tempt the Cat into taking the initiative to get it himself and be comfortable with their close proximity. The Rat wanted so many things, but above all, he wanted Kyo to trust him and in turn, be able to trust Kyo. That was how he pictured a healthy relationship and he was getting close to desperate to have that with Kyo.

So, Yuki held Kyo's face between his hands and pressed their bodies as close together as he dared. Kyo struggled at first, but that was to be expected. The Rat kept their lips fused together and rolled his lips against Kyo's until the Cat finally returned the action. The other's hands ghosted over Yuki's hips, then his shoulders before lamely grappling at the tree they were leaning on.

The innocent string of kisses were a little awkward at first, both of them testing out the different angles that worked best for them. Both their hearts had picked up speed and Yuki's hands slowly wander to rest on the other's broad shoulders. Kyo continued to knead the tree, scraping off bits of bark as he did so. Once again, he was finding it difficult to decide what to do with his hands, so he just kept them locked on the tree. Yuki's flavor flooded his mouth and he knew that he would never grow tired of the unique taste of lavender.

The Rat was having quite a bit of trouble keeping still, mainly because his hands wanted to roam everywhere they could over Kyo's clothed body. Where his hands had once been on the Cat's shoulders, they were now fisting into bright locks of orange that he couldn't see because his eyes were closed. But he could feel silky smooth strands and gods- Kyo's musk of spices was driving Yuki to the brink of insanity. The light smack of their lips was enough – for the time being – and so they only broke apart when breathing became an absolute necessity.

"What was that for?" Kyo asked, his cheeks still slightly flushed as his pants came out in light gasps.

Yuki smirked through his quick breathes and kissed the other's forehead, "It's difficult to do that at home. And you know I'm going to be demanding more of that later, right?"

Kyo paled, swallowed loudly, and nodded as Yuki reluctantly let go. They started walking again and Yuki smiled to himself before reaching over and grabbing Kyo's hand. As predicted, the Cat startled at the touch, but didn't pull away – which was becoming a very common occurrence. This felt right – this interaction between them. It shouldn't have been right and shouldn't have felt so good, but it did... and it made them happy. As they walked, they stole quick glances at each other, more and more silent words building up between them but remaining unspoken for the time being.

What neither of them could have predicted though, was what was waiting for them when they got home.

_**Next chapter: Yuki's POV. **_

_**It's already written, just need to make minor adjustments.**_

_**REVIEW  
**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Hello everyone! Here's a little update on Aero (that's me):**_

_**I'm done with my freshman year of college (I have been for about a month) and I just finished cleaning my room XD Like, before, you couldn't even see the floor -_- I'm ashamed... Anywho, now I'm back! I've been really busy so far this summer and am currently at the lake! A.K.A. the best place in the world!**_

_**Sorry for the long wait, I hope this makes up for it.**_

_**P.S. This isn't beta-read so ignore any errors. Much appreciated.  
**_

_**ENJOY  
**_

**CHAPTER 20**

**YUKI:**

"Where do you want to go next time?" I asked, my lips twisting into an unbidden smile.

We were on our way back to the house after our amazing day together and both of us were walking slower than normal. His hand was still resting comfortably in mine and I could have sworn that at some point he'd given mine a light squeeze. But I could have just been overly hopeful and therefore could quite possibly have imagined the whole thing.

He deliberated for a moment before replying, "Well, we could always go to the lake or the bath house."

"Hmm, but then we'd have to invite other people so we're not completely obvious."

Kyo huffed and this time there was no imagining the squeeze he gave my hand, "Want me all to yourself, do you?"

"Yes, actually," I replied, squeezing his hand in return. He jumped a little when I did so and I had to bite back a laugh at the look on his face. Sometimes he can be just so unexpectedly innocent that it was both charming and rather adorable. "We shouldn't go anywhere overnight because that would definitely draw too much attention to us."

He stiffened a little while his face turned a dark crimson and it took a bit to figure out what had changed. But then it hit me, I'd used the term _overnight, _no wonder her was now freaking himself out!Suddenly, I went just as stiff as he had and I could feel my own face heating up in a very un-Yuki-like manner. Damn Kyo and his ability to get under my skin in a way that nobody else could.

It wasn't that I didn't want to stay overnight somewhere with Kyo, in fact, I think that that would actually be a lot of fun. We wouldn't have to worry about having a curfew or being at the house at any specific time. He and I would be able to stay up all night talking, watching movies, or anything else that we wanted. Of course, there was always the sexual aspect of things... that was the part I'm sure had colored both our cheeks red with embarrassment. All of this was new to both of us so there was really no reason to be nervous or worried...

Okay, so there are actually a lot of reasons to be worried and nervous and scared and... oh my gods I need to calm down! Just thinking about being alone with Kyo overnight with no supervisions gets me all hot and bothered!

_Breathe Yuki_, I commanded silently to ease the blood flow that had gone decidedly South.

"You're right," Kyo said quietly, recapturing my fleeting attention. Clearing his throat, he continued in a stronger voice, "If we went to either the lake or bath house we'd probably get even less time together. What with everyone else being there too, I mean, you know Momiji is going to want to go and he'll drag every possible person along."

"Right," I agreed readily, glad that he didn't seem to mind the overnight reference. Or at least I _think_ he didn't mind, who really knew what was going through his head. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be able to read his mind and put an end to this annoying guessing game! "Looks like we'll just have to figure something out. In the meantime, my vote is that we keep the arrangement we have going."

The Cat scoffed and rolled his eyes dramatically, "And what if I wanted us to stay in my room sometime, what then?"

I smirked and nudged him with my shoulder, "I'm sure a compromise can be negotiated if you play your cards right."

Everything had been going so well, I could hardly stop smiling like a fool. But of course it wouldn't last, this is the _Sohma _family after all. As we neared the house, I was forced to drop Kyo's hand and I was missing its warmth the instant I was forced to let go. We were nearing the house when our immediate attention was attracted to a group consisting of Haru, Tohru, Shigure, and Hatori standing next to a large thorn bush to the left of the front door towards the back of the house. Tohru was babbling incoherently and waving her arms around haphazardly in obvious distress.

"What's all this?" I asked as Kyo and I approached, the Cat seeming just as curious as I was.

No one got a chance to speak before Kyo burst, "What the hell is she doing in there?"

At first I didn't know what he was talking about, but then I caught sight of a orange and black bundle buried deep within the thorny branches. I swear I saw something like panic flash across Kyo's face as his eyes widened and locked on little, shaking Kisa. Her back was to us so it was impossible to see whether she was unconscious, sleeping, or simply hiding.

"Fuck, get her out of there! She'll be torn to shreds if she reverts back to her human self while she's in there!" Kyo continued and this time I was positive there was panic creeping into his voice as well as in his crimson orbs.

"We're well aware of that Kyo," Hatori said calmly, serious as always. "But she's so far back that there's no way to get to her without hurting her. It would also take too long to cut her out by using some sheers."

"Why's she in there anyway?" I asked to distract myself because what I wanted to do more than anything was do whatever it took to erase that frantic look from Kyo's face. I mean, that look alone put Tohru to shame no matter how much absurd flailing she did.

Haru sighed and patted Kyo on the shoulder companionably, "Akito. He got to her this morning and just let her leave about an hour ago. She ran here, reverting at some point along the way, and has been in there ever since."

Kyo's panic turned to seething, undulated anger, "That fucking bastard, she's just a kid. What did he do to her this time?"

I inconspicuously grabbed Kyo's wrist and gave it a gentle tug, "Getting mad won't help her Kyo."

He glanced at me and the anger in his eyes simmered from a blazing fire to a mere kindle, "Yeah? Well, neither will just... standing... here..."

Kyo frowned, brows furrowing, and he looked at the ground pensively. If I looked close enough, I'm pretty sure I could see the gears turning in his mind as he tried to figure something out. I let go of his wrist, having already gotten the calming effect that I'd been looking – hoping – for. Haru must have noticed Kyo's change in countenance as well because he tapped the Cat on the shoulder and gave him a questioning look. Instead of answering though, Kyo walked over to where Tohru was still flailing about in a flurry of limbs.

"Hey, umm, Tohru?"

She stopped moving and turned to face him, eyes red rimmed and scared, "Oh, Kyo it's awful! She's right there and I can't do anything! It's cold out and I know she's a tiger but even they get cold in this sort of weather right? I feel so useless and-"

"You're anything but useless Tohru," Kyo hissed a little harsher than I'm sure he intended, cutting her off. Taking a deep breath, he ran a hand through his hair, "Look, I never thought I'd ask this but... can I have a hug?"

Without even thinking, Tohru threw herself at him for what she thought would be a warm, comforting embrace. What she got, however, was a tell tale _poof_ and empty air. Kyo shrugged out of his clothes and before any of us could protest, he was pushing his way through the thorn bush, hissing as some of the thorns snagged on his skin and fur.

"What the hell Kyo?" Haru burst suddenly, making me flinch at his on-the-verge-of-going-Black voice. "You're not under stress you fucking idiot! You won't stay reverted nearly as long as she will!"

The outburst was met by a very loud and menacing hiss, "Shut up you damn cow, don't you think I know that?"

He slunk through the tawny branches, maneuvering himself as only a cat can do. My heart was beating in my throat knowing that with each passing second both of them were getting closer and closer to reverting back. I was scared for them, it may have been just a thorn bush, but it could do some serious damage because of how thick it was. My breath hitched every time a thorn pierced through Kyo's fur making him hiss in pain. Watching Kyo get hurt and not being able to do anything about it made my gut ache in the most uncomfortable manner. When he reached her, I was only minimally relieved because they were only half way; they still had to get out.

Kyo curled himself around her, twining his tail with hers and I could just barely hear him speaking softly in her ear. Haru seethed quietly next to me and I was positive that he was going to go Black at any given moment. That was the last thing we needed on top of everything else, two injured Zodiacs and a Black Haru spelled immediate disaster.

"He'd better hurry," Shigure mumbled to Hatori, "I don't think he'll last much longer."

His words sank in slowly and I can safely say that my heart was absolutely pounding so erratically in my chest that it almost hurt. Haru's fists clenched and he looked like he was ready to rip his way through the bush with his bare hands if he had to wait much longer. My eyes never left Kyo, I watched his every movement like my life depended on it. He then shifted his weight and moved sideways, I wasn't quite sure what he was up to, but then it became clear... painfully clear. Kyo purposefully scraped his side roughly against a bundle of thorns, making sure it pierced skin. A low, cat form of a growl sounded, no doubt from major discomfort. Gods, _my_ side hurt just watching him do it.

"What the hell is that fucking bastard doing?" Haru seethed, smoky eyes narrowed in a suspicious glare.

"Putting himself in distress," Hatori answered, sounding somewhat awed and annoyed through his supposed indifference.

Shigure frowned and looked to Hatori for clarification, "The distress will keep him in cat form longer right? It's stopping him from reverting back?"

The doctor nodded, and it felt like I was going to explode! What the hell was Kyo thinking? Yes, we had to get Kisa out of there, but... _gah_ what the hell? I didn't know what to think and I felt absolutely powerless. I couldn't do anything to help and I couldn't stop Kyo from his self mutilation. We should have found another way to get Kisa out of there! That stupid, stupid cat! When he gets out of there I'm going to wring his neck for being _so _stupid! And by the look of it, I'd have to fight Haru for the honor of doing so because the Cow had gone... you guessed it – Black. Pure and utterly Black. And for once, I didn't blame him.

Deep within the brush, Kyo was speaking to Kisa again, no doubt in a calm and reassuring voice. He then began moving, gnawing at different crackling branches. I didn't understand at first, but it didn't take me long to figure it out. Kisa was stuck. Having run into the brush blindly, she'd gotten herself tangled and now she couldn't move. So Kyo was methodically breaking the tines that were binding her while forcefully scraping his sides against any nearby thorns so it would break the skin. Eventually, all the tines were severed and Kyo helped Kisa up by pressing his shoulder against hers so she had something to lean on. Once she was up, she seemed fine and Kyo left her side to lead her out. Kisa – being the little kit that she was – lightly grabbed the end of Kyo's tail as a guide. He didn't seem to mind as he used his body to push thorny brambles aside so she wouldn't be touched by them as they maneuvered their way out. The process was slow and my skin prickled, becoming covered in goosebumps every time Kyo had to press himself against the unforgiving thorns. I knew it hurt, he was hiding it well, but it was definitely hurting him. Kyo talked to her the whole time, encouraging her with soft words that didn't even come close to betraying his pain. Tohru was frantic – per usual – and was on her knees right next to the overly large bramble, waiting impatiently for them to get out. When they finally reached the edge, Tohru dutifully lifted the last tawny strand out of their way, careful not to cut herself on the many thorns.

"Come on Kisa, just a few more steps and you'll be out okay? We'll get you cleaned up and watch a movie just like I promised you."

Ah, that voice, I could get lost in that voice. The way he spoke so soft and gentle, it had my senses tingling in the most pleasant of ways. I longed for that adoring and almost loving tenor to be directed at me – which it hadn't yet. Kisa really was the luckiest among us at that moment since she was on the receiving end of that devotion. Before exiting, he pulled his tail from her mouth and used it to direct her out first. I couldn't help but think of the gesture as gentlemanly though I know the situation hardly called for such pleasantries. The instant Kisa was free of the brambles, Hatori was all over checking on her with Tohru bustling around them aimlessly like a worried mother hen.

The same could not be said for Kyo. I sort of blame myself for this because while I'd been watching him, I'd completely forgotten about Haru. Black, angry Haru. The Cow shot forward and roughly – painfully – grabbed Kyo by the ruff of his neck. I could tell his grip was tight and harsh as he brought Kyo closer to his face so they could be eye to eye. Shigure appeared, waving his hands like some kind of white flag, trying to diffuse Haru to something manageable.

"Come now Haru, no harm no foul. Let's put Kyo down and-"

"Shut the _fuck_ up you _fucking _mutt, this has _nothing_ to do with you."

Shigure tipped his head back in annoyance and spared me a glance, "Yukiiiii, you try! Haru doesn't ever listen to me!"

I grabbed Haru's shoulder tightly, but never got a word out because the Cow wasn't paying me a lick of attention, which was new. No doubt his eyes were drowning in crimson just like I had done so many times and the defiant look Kyo was sporting only proved to fuel Haru's anger.

"What were you thinking you _fucking_ cat?"

I blanched and tightened my grip on Haru's shoulder. Yes, what Kyo had done was beyond stupid, but this wasn't the time nor the place to scold him for it. Not when blood was matted along his sides and streaks of the red liquid were splotched along his nose and right cheek. Kyo's tail flicked periodically beneath him as he hung uncomfortably from Haru's unforgiving grip, but Kyo wasn't fighting back or putting up resistance. He was still, not even squirming or batting his back legs to get free. You could almost call his behavior submissive... if it weren't for the blazing fire burning like mini suns in his eyes.

"If you'd wanted to get hurt, I'd have been happy to skin you alive you piece of _shit._"

The words dripped venom – classic Black Haru style – and Kyo gave a feral hiss in response. Still, Kyo didn't struggle, just stared with smoldering eyes.

"Haru," I said harshly, "We'll deal with it later, but put him down."

The Cow froze, Kyo froze, even _I _froze. None of us knew what was going to happen, I don't even think Haru knew what he was going to do in that moment. We probably would have stayed like that for countless minutes had a small, high pitched mewl not come from Hatori's general direction. All the fire transformed within Kyo's eyes as he swiveled his head around to stare with worry at Kisa's shivering heap. His ears laid back flat against his head and he turned back to Haru, expression as fierce and commanding as I've ever seen it.

"Please Haru, put me down," Kyo said quietly. "I promise, if you still want to beat me up later, I'll let you."

The Cow was struggling in all kinds of ways while his hold on the Cat fluctuated. Haru's grip eventually loosened until Kyo dropped to the ground, landing lightly on his paws with impeccable balance. He wasted no time in trotting quickly over to Tohru, keeping his eyes on Kisa almost the whole time. I continued to hang onto Haru's shoulder, just in case he decided to go after Kyo again.

"Tohru, could you umm... pick me up p-please?" Kyo asked, shifting his weight from his right side to his left side in something akin to nervousness.

Once again, she didn't hesitate in scooping him up and holding him close. Tohru held him tight as she went back to Hatori and sat on her knees a few inches in front of the doctor. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was more than a touch jealous at their close proximity with Kyo. Shigure was watching everything from over Hatori's shoulder, his eyes flickering to Kyo every few seconds for reasons I didn't know. Kisa mewled again when Hatori gave her a shot and I wasn't the only one that was extremely surprised when Kyo mewled back. I have to admit, a part of me swooned a bit at the cute, vulnerable little noise. It was like they were having their own conversation in a feline language none of us could ever come close to comprehending. Kyo didn't notice all the stares on him though, he only had eyes for Kisa which had my jealousy making itself known again.

"Why does her head hurt?" Kyo asked, leveling the doctor with a flat look more closely related to a glare.

Hatori blanched a bit, but regained himself quickly, "She has a mild concussion."

"She should be fine then right?" Kyo pressed, all seriousness.

"Yes, she'll make a full recovery."

Kyo nodded and visibly relaxed, letting himself sag a little over Tohru's arms. That was when it hit me like a ton of bricks and I found myself using Haru for support rather than holding him back. This was Kyo, this had _always_ been Kyo. I'd just been to stubborn and lost in my own misery to notice. And gods... I can't believe I'd been missing so much. Sure, over the last couple days I'd gotten to see a new side to him. I just couldn't believe that all of this had been right in front of me the whole time, I'd just missed it.

He'd asked Tohru to pick him up so he wouldn't revert back, ensuring that he'd stay a cat just in case Kisa needed him for something. I wanted to smack myself on the forehead as it all sank in; he wasn't always angry and thick headed like I 'd always thought, he was just misunderstood. I felt like an asshole because I'd never, not once, taken the time to try understand him until recently. Like everyone else, I'd pushed him aside in favor of looking after myself. And really, it was him who needed people most; that stupid, admittedly thoughtful cat.

Kyo turned his head around so he could face Tohru and his tail wrapped loosely around one of her arms, "Will you take care of her while I get cleaned up?"

"Oh! Of course Kyo! I won't let her out of my sight! But...," she looked down and noticed the thin red liquid rubbing off on her, "You're bleeding! Are you okay? Does it hurt? Is there anything I can do?"

"It's fine Tohru," he rasped when she had to stop and take a breath.

"You should let me take a look at you," Hatori said calmly.

The Cat wriggled his way out of Tohru's grasp and padded daintily along the cold porch to the door that had been left open a crack. It was almost funny the way he was sort of dancing on his paws, trying to keep them from freezing against the cool ground. He was still far too thin and his fur was unkempt from his ordeal in the thorns, but his eyes were bright and fierce, making everything else seem obsolete.

"It's fine, they're only scratches, no big deal. Stay with Kisa, I'll be back down in a bit," Kyo replied and I could easily hear the chill creeping into his voice.

He darted off into the house and the rest of us belatedly followed. Haru stayed by me the whole time, which was fine. What wasn't fine though, was that I couldn't tell whether he was Black or White. His look was completely blank, not even his eyes would give anything away. He wouldn't speak either, he just followed me where ever I went. Kisa reverted back at some point, but I wasn't there. She was with Tohru, who was doing just as Kyo had asked her and literally wasn't letting Kisa out of her sight.

Finally, human Kyo came tromping lightly down the stairs, hair damp from the shower he must have taken. He was wearing loose gray pajama pants with a blue tee shirt and my heart sank at the white bandages wrapped around a few places on his exposed arms. I had no doubt that there were more covering his body, but that only made me feel worse. It was then I noticed that Haru had moved away from my side, making a bee-line toward Kyo. He stopped in front of the Cat and just... looked at him.

"What's with the face?" The feline asked casually, running a hand through sopping orange locks that glistened in the lighting.

Unable to keep away, I sidled up next to Haru, "He's probably sorry for going Black on you."

Kyo glanced at me then to Haru, a pensive expression stealing across his handsome tanned features, "Huh... that's strange. I can't recall anything like that happening... and well, since I can't seem to remember, then I wouldn't waste any time worrying about it."

Haru gaped at him as Kyo lightly punched the Cow in the shoulder – something that had really become an affectionate gesture between the two. I admit, my jealousy streak that I'd recently developed spiked at their easiness with each other. But I guess I couldn't complain all thatmuch considering if I kissed Kyo, he wouldn't snap my head off and attempt to break every bone in my body. Now _that_ gave me a real sense of satisfaction.

"Kyo?" Said a soft voice just as Kisa's head poked tentatively from around the kitchen door. Upon seeing that it was indeed the Cat, a small, toothy smile spread across her face, "Kyo!"

She ran out to him and he effortlessly picked her up off the ground, returning her smile in full, "Hey, how're you feeling?"

"Better," she replied, her voice as quiet as always. "Can- can we watch a m-movie now?'

Kyo dipped his head slightly to the right and chuckled, "Well I don't know... have you gotten your Pokky yet?" When she blushed and shook her head minutely, he laughed again, "Let's get you some Pokky first and then I'll let you pick whatever movie you want, 'kay?"

"Hm, he's good with kids," Haru noted once the two had disappeared into the kitchen where Shigure, Hatori, and Tohru were.

++++==Thirty Minutes Later==++++

Kisa was soundly asleep in Kyo's lap and he continued to absently run his fingers through her hair in a soothing manner. Haru had conked out at some point too and had fallen over so now his head was resting heavily on Kyo's shoulder. The Cat didn't seem to mind though and to be honest, it kind of made for a cute picture. Who knew the wild, hot tempered Cat could be so adoringly domesticated. By the far off look in his eyes, I could tell he wasn't watching the movie and neither was I for that matter. Why would I need a movie when I have one such as Kyo sitting next to me? Before we'd started the movie, Tohru had made everyone dinner and I was pleased when Kyo ate more than his fair share. It really did look like things were starting to get back to normal with him.

I quietly cleared my throat and broke the silence saying, "You and Kisa seem to get along really well."

"Well... yeah, of course we do," he replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why is that then?"

He smirked but his eyes were gentle, "Wow, really? For once there's something the brilliant rat doesn't understand? Not only that, but he's asking the banished cat for answers? Who knew this day would ever come?"

The sarcasm in his voice got me to grunt in amusement, "Yeah, that's right. So are you going to tell me or aren't you?"

He huffed, but thankfully didn't deny me my answer, "It's actually really simple, you'll kick yourself for not seeing it sooner. I'm the Cat of the Zodiac and she's the Tiger, so we're both from the feline genome. When it comes right down to it, no other Zodiac pair are as closely related as she and I are."

"Wow... that was kind of obvious, wasn't it?" I said, understanding finally dawning and making everything crystal clear.

He nodded and suddenly smirked again, "You know, it's actually rather fitting that Hiro has a major crush on her."

"How do you figure that?"

"You know that old saying, 'the lion and the lamb,'" he asked, eyes so soft they could have been made of velvet. I nodded deftly so he continued, "It's the same basic principle with her and Hiro except for now it's more like the tigress and the ram."

That brought a smile to my face, really, how could it not? It may have been a little cliché, but damn it if it wasn't cute!

"You certainly have thought a lot about this," I mused, unable to get the small smile off my face.

He shrugged and teased a few strands of Kisa's hair between his fingers, "Nah, not really. Just random, passing thoughts I get while I'm up on the roof. Heh, you seriously didn't think I just laid there and counted stars the whole time, did ya?"

My stomach plummeted down through the floor and past all seven layers of hell. Guilt gnawed unforgivably at me because that was pretty close to what I'd thought. I'd never viewed him as anything other than a nuisance and therefore had never cared what he thought about, or even if he thought about anything.

"Yuki?" He asked in confusion, "You okay?"

"Fine," I mumbled absentmindedly, letting my eyes rove over his boyishly masculine facial features. I wanted to know everything about him, no matter how stupid the thoughts may be. "What's your favorite color?"

"Pfft-blahh... what?"

I laughed outright and raised a brow mimicking, "'Pfft-blahh?' Can't say I've ever heard that one come out of your mouth before, though I have to admit, it's not one of your most intelligent noises."

He chuckled – which was new to me in the sense that I'd never known him to ever be able to laugh at himself, "Sorry, it's just, of all the questions, I hadn't expected that one. If you really want to know, my favorite color is blue. N-not just any kind of blue though, my favorite is the hue you can see when the sun is coming up. It's like a cross between navy and baby blue, I'm not quite sure why I like it so much. Your turn, what's your favorite color?"

"I don't really have one," I confided, still stooling over the answer he'd given me. "I don't think I've ever seen the blue you're talking about, you'll have to show it to me sometime."

"Gladly-" Kyo began, but was cut off when Hatori walked into the room. The Cat shifted a little saying, "You here to take Kisa back?"

He shook his head and there was something a little... off about it, "No, Yuki is actually the only one I need to take back with me."

Kyo and I both stiffened; we even glanced over at each other at the same time. For a brief moment, I thought for sure he was going to untangle one of his arms from Kisa and grab my hand. Oh how I desperately wish he would! His touch would make everything feel better, it would keep me grounded and stop the mass of dread from taking over.

"Yuki, we need to go."

"Alright," I mumbled though my body hadn't moved and I was still getting lost in the throws of crimson.

Time suddenly seemed too short, like there were a million things I wanted to do, but I couldn't do any of them. It almost felt like the room was getting smaller, but I wasn't getting smaller along with it and given time, it would crush me. Going to the main house would change everything, of that I'm quite sure. What if someone found out about me and Kyo? What if I had to stop seeing him? I wouldn't be able to handle that, nor would I be able to abide by it if I were ordered to stay away from the Cat.

Then again I could just be blowing things out of proportion. I might just be going for a regular check up that Akito insists I have only at the main house. Or maybe Hatori wanted to talk to me in the privacy of his office. Even as I ran through these options in my head, none of them seemed all that plausible. A large part of me was sure that when I went to the main house, Akito would be the one waiting for me.

Akito with those dark eyes.

That vicious smile.

And those cruel words that would rip me to pieces.

Hatori grabbed my forearm and gently pulled me to my feet. Kyo and I broke eye contact for the first time and the instant we did, I felt cold and lifeless. Like the fire that had been keeping me warm had to turned to ice right in my very core. The movie continued to play, but its words and noises were lost on me.

Before I was guided out the door, I shot one last look over my shoulder and found Kyo's eyes staring right back at me. They were so unlike the closed off expression I was used to from the Cat that it made my heart skip a beat. There was blatant worry, unspoken words, a silent plea for me to stay, and something else, something almost tender. And that was the look that was engrained in my mind as the door closed, blocking Kyo from view. What I wanted more than anything was to run back and take comfort from his presence.

But I wouldn't be able to do that because I was already inside Hatori's car, waiting for him to take me away. He got in and started the car before beginning to drive off. I watched the house get smaller the farther we drove away and I continued looking even when it was out of sight. The closer we got to the main house, the more I began to shut myself down. My familiar mask came back and locked into place, hiding me away from everything else.

Hatori didn't talk to me and I was less than willing to speak a word to him. I knew it wasn't necessarily all his fault that I was on my way to the main house, but it felt better when I had someone else to blame. The sun had gone down, but it was still pretty early in the night being only around nine. The main house came into view and I unconsciously stiffened at the sight of it. The only thing that gave me comfort was knowing that Kyo would be waiting for me, that was all I could think about. Hatori parked the car and I made sure that my mask was firmly in place. Only when I was convinced it was flawless did I get out of the car.

I followed Hatori and wasn't at all surprised when we walked right past his office and headed straight for Akito's chamber. I kept every emotion blocked off, determined that nothing would make it past my mask.

"Just go on in there, he'll be in shortly," Hatori said gravely, his voice sounding far too loud even though I knew it was just above a whisper.

I nodded and headed in, kneeling on the mat that was set out for just that purpose. I stared at the floor in front of me with my fists clenched and resting on my bent legs. There was a mantra going through my head repeatedly for comfort, 'you'll be home soon, you'll be home soon.' And the only thing I kept picturing was the look on Kyo's face before the door had closed.

The room was eerily quiet and dark because there was only two lit lamps. I stayed perfectly still, straining my ears for any noise indicating Akito's entrance.

I didn't hear anything.

No, I didn't hear anything until a dark, cold voice drifted across the room, putting a damper on any hope I'd been able to cling to.

"Hello Yuki."

My nightmare had only just begun.

_**Next chapter will be from Kyo's POV. **_

_**Not much else to say except, I hope you liked it! **_

_**Until next time! :heart:**_

_**REVIEW  
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	21. Chapter 21

_**And I'm back with another installment. **_

_**This isn't beta read so ignore any errors. **_

_***sigh* it's a thing of beauty when things begin to come together.**_

_**ENJOY  
**_

**Chapter 21**

**KYO:**

It was torture waiting for Yuki to come back, absolute torture. The movie was over and the credits were rolling, but I couldn't even recall what movie we'd even been watching. Working an arm free, I grabbed the remote and turned all the consoles off. The lamp on the table next ot the couch was still on so I could still see as I gently nudged Haru off my shoulder. Standing in such a way that I wouldn't wake Kisa, I headed up the stairs, careful to keep her from bumping into any walls.

We didn't have any spare bedrooms since Tohru took our last open one so I went ahead and took her to my room. All the sheets were clean because Tohru had just washed them and it wasn't like I actually slept in my own bed anymore. So, I laid her on the left time of my bed and grabbed a spare blanket that was folded in the pantry on the far side of my room. She hadn't stirred during the whole thing so I deemed it safe to go downstairs and retrieve Haru.

Going back downstairs, I lightly shook the Cow's shoulder, "Come on you big lug, I can't carry you up the stairs."

He grumbled and looked up at me with bleary, sleep glazed eyes, "Don't wanna move."

Snorting in amusement, I grabbed his arm and slung it over my shoulders. Grabbing that arm to keep him steady, I helped him stand and we made our way up the stairs. I knew that with Yuki gone I wouldn't be able to get any sleep and I normally would have just left Haru to sleep on the couch, but I didn't want Kisa to wake up in a new place feeling alone. Besides, Haru would be more comfortable in my room than he would be on the couch. Once I'd covered him up with my comforter – which I knew from experience was devilishly amazing in terms of warmth and softness – I headed back downstairs.

I passed Tohru's door, noting that the lights were off and had been so for awhile now. She'd declined from joining us for a movie because she had to get up and head off to work early. Maybe I'd walk her there since I know I'll still be awake when she gets up. Going down the stairs, I went straight to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of milk. Nothing soothed the nerves like a glass of milk, or so it applies to me anyway.

I didn't want to turn on the TV, I'm not like most people that can just sit and watch something on the tube and be distracted. No, that doesn't work for me at all. So I went to the kitchen table and sat down with my glass of milk to just mellow out. Yuki was out there, at the main house, and I could only sit at the table and pray to every deity I could think of that he was alright. I was never one for praying or consulting a higher power, but this time, that's exactly what I did.

After awhile, once my milk was gone and I'd taken the glass to the sink, I then moved from the table to the porch outside. The cool air felt good against my warm skin and it helped to clear my head. I didn't take a coat out with me because in my opinion, I was far too warm for it. The many scratches that covered my body still stung and I _almost _regretted turning down Hatori's offer to take a look at me. He'd at least be able to give me something that would take away the aching burn that accompanied the many tears in my skin.

Ah well, what's a few more scars to add to my collection?

Taking a few deep breathes, I enjoyed the chill the air gave my lungs. It was refreshing and the night's sky was clear enough for me to see the moon and stars unhindered and unmasked by clouds. A large part of me wanted to go up to the roof, but I stayed on the ground floor for the only purpose that if someone needed me, I'd be there. My worst fear was that Kisa would come downstairs and be unable to find me, so, I'd just stay on the porch.

"You're up awfully early."

Looking over, I found Shigure standing by the still open door. He was wearing his sleeping clothes and his hair looked tousled like he'd just rolled out of bed. Had I been my normal witty self, I would have made fun of him for it. As it was though, I could hardly bring myself to care. The mood was just so strained and somber, it was difficult to get myself out of the stupor.

Leaning back against the house I replied, "Well, I'd started out just staying up late, but I guess that doesn't apply anymore. Why are you awake at such an hour?"

He shrugged and came out the door to join me, "Just wanted to make sure everyone got to bed okay. Tohru was fast asleep, Haru and Kisa were out cold in your room, but you were missing. I just found an empty couch and was about to look up on the roof when I saw this door open. What're you doing out here?"

"Couldn't sleep," I hedged, hoping he wouldn't read anything into it.

"Because Yuki's at the main house?"

_Fuck!_

_ Damn it all to hell!_

Making sure my features didn't change, I mumbled awkwardly, "Who knows really." He gave me a look, one that said 'oh, I think you do,' but I ignored it. Clearing my throat I asked, "So you knew Hatori was going to take the Rat with him?"

Shigure leaned against the door frame and replied, "Yes, and before you ask, it was to see Akito."

"Yeah, I figured that much if Hatori's look of doom was any indication."

The Dog had that infuriating look of contemplation going on, "And that doesn't bother you?"

"I don't see why it should," I hissed, becoming increasingly more agitated. "If all you wanted to do was come out here and bother me, then consider it mission accomplished and go away."

"Alright, alright," Shigure said, holding up his hands in surrender, "but before I go, might I point something out?"

I rolled my eyes and snapped haughtily, "What?"

"For someone who claims he isn't concerned, one must wonder why you're staring so intently in the direction the main house is."

By the time I twisted myself around, a retort right on the tip of my tongue, he was gone, disappearing back into the house. Turning back toward the woods, I silently cussed myself with every foul word I had in my arsenal.

Why?

Because, damn it all, Shigure was right and I hadn't even noticed it.

-o-o-o-

The night continued and I remained with a tense strain sitting upon my shoulders. It didn't matter if I was cold, hungry, or thirsty, nothing was appealing. I felt that all I could do to help was sit there and wait like a loyal... a loyal what? Friend? Companion? What am I to him? And in return, what's he to me?

Just yet another thing to ask him, I guess.

Things had been quiet inside, everyone was still sleeping and Shigure had finally ventured off to bed. How they could possibly sleep when someone was in the main house, I couldn't understand. The moon made its nightly trek from one end of the sky to the other and I watched it, unable to break my silence reverence. It wasn't until the quiet thump of feet coming down the stairs that I was able to actually move, my body stiff from staying still for so long.

"You didn't have to move me upstairs you know," Haru said, sidling up to join me out on the porch.

It sort of made sense that he'd wake up so early, I'd been bothered by pretty much everyone, why not Haru too? The conversation with Shigure had been awkward enough, I could only hope that this one didn't turn into such a disaster.

"You know Yuki is at the main house, right?"

He nodded and I was relieved that I wouldn't have to take the brunt of his anger, "I assumed that since I was in your room instead of Yuki's, then he must not be here right now. And really, where else could he be besides the main house?"

"You don't have to stay up with me, you can go back to sleep if you want," I offered, trying to discreetly get him to leave me alone.

"You know," he replied slowly, "I actually think I'm right where I need to be."

"Oh, really? Didn't know sitting on the porch when it's cold in the middle of the night was your thing," I retorted waspishly, my attempt having failed.

"Well now you know," he quipped offhandedly. "By the way, since we're on the topic, just why are you out here in the first place?"

I shrugged as casually as I could, "Couldn't sleep, I guess. Tohru will be heading to work in an hour or so and I was planning to escort her there."

"Cool, I'll go with you."

"That wasn't exactly an invitation," I scoffed with a less than playful glare.

He chuckled at my attempt at banter and we fell into a comfortable quiet. My skin was prickling like he wanted to ask me something, but I was going to stick to the silence as long as I could. I didn't really mind having Haru around, when he was White it was actually quite easy to get along with him. He typically didn't say much, so maybe that was the reason behind our recently found companionship.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

_And here it comes... so much for my silence..._

"Go for it," I replied, forcing a small ounce of enthusiasm to color my voice.

"What's it like being the Cat?"

_Great, it was worse than I'd feared._

"Veto."

Haru tipped his head to the side, but gave no other indication that he was confused, "Come again?"

"Veto," I repeated, taking care that my annoyance wouldn't show. "This is me veto-ing your question because I simply don't want to answer it. Please rephrase or come up with an entirely different question."

He snorted in a very cow-like manner, "I didn't even know one _could_ veto a question like that. And lucky for you, I'm coming up blank on how to rephrase it into something that you would actually answer." I relaxed and took a deep breath, glad to be out of the spotlight. That is, until he continued, "Now since you've used your one and only veto, you have no choice but to answer this next question."

I felt myself bristling even before he'd finished speaking, "And who decided that I only get one veto?"

"Well, it's not like I even knew that you had the power of the veto, so I dictate that you only get one."

"Bastard," I snapped, but relented that he did have a point in there somewhere. Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair, "Alright, shoot."

He gave me one of those infuriating smirks before asking, "Are you worried about Yuki?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" I sputtered indignantly and I could feel my eyes grow wide.

"It's a pretty good one judging by your reaction," he replied, his smirk deepening.

"Fuck you, I don't have to answer to this shit!"

He scoffed, "Okay, that question is answered as a yes. Before you bite my head off, you're not the only one, I am too. How much do you like him?"

I held my breath and blew it out loudly to calm myself, "Fuck off Haru. And for the record, I'm not going to bite your head off... yet."

"Uh-huh, I translate that to mean 'a hell of a lot.' You'd better take good care of him when he gets back 'cause he probably won't be in good shape," he paused then and I hoped he was done. To my great displeasure though, he went on, "I've noticed that you tend to sleep when Yuki's here, does that mean that you sleep in the same room?"

"Holy fucking shit," I burst, my restraints waning. "What the hell you fucking nosy douchebag? None of this has anything to do with you so back the fuck off!"

Haru chuckled – _chuckled_ of all things, "Well that's a definite yes."

"Whatever," I spat through gritted teeth.

"So," Haru hedged innocently, "how far have you two gone?"

"Okay, _now _I'm going to bite your fucking head off," I screeched, scrambling over to roughly tackle him to the porch floor. "You can't just ask something like that! It's none of your damn business!"

The Cow laughed quietly and rolled us over onto the ground saying, "Your evasiveness tells me you've either gotten little to nowhere or all the way. I believe it's the second of the two, so tell me, who bottoms?"

That earned him a loud hiss and a punch to the face. He took it all in stride and before I knew it, we were having an all out fight. Haru goaded me on with a few more insults, but it was pretty clear what he was doing: He was distracting me. I would never admit that I was grateful for it, so that was a secret I would keep solely with myself. So we fought and scuffled, throwing punches and kicks that released some of the tension.

When we were both exhausted, we fell to the ground and lay staring up at the stars above us. Yuki was somewhere else under the same sky, though I doubt he was able to go out and look at it. Was he being beaten like I'd been? Or perhaps he was falling victim to Akito's soft words of venom? Thinking of him in that way made my stomach churn again and I suddenly felt sick.

Actually... I _was _going to be sick.

Coughing, I turned over onto my side just in time for my stomach's meager contents to come spilling out into the grass. It was the most bizarre thing 'cause I'd never really been one to fall victim to random bouts of nausea. Haru came over and sat next to me, patting my back as another mouthful of bile flooded out. It must have just been my stomach acid coming out because I quite literally didn't have anything else in there.

When the spasm had passed, Haru pulled me back a couple feet and rested his head on my shoulder. It was an act of comfort and once again I found myself being grateful for his odd intuitiveness. When had he developed this level of understanding? Whatever, it didn't matter.

"It's okay to be worried," he said quietly as I panted to get my breath back.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I took some deep, measured breathes. It might have been okay to be worried, but I sure as hell didn't like the feeling.

-o-o-o-

It was a relief to walk Tohru to work because it gave me something useful to do instead of blabbering my mouth to Haru. Damn him and his taking away my ability to use a veto, just damn him!

After dropping her off, we were on our way back to the house, stuck in a silence that I wasn't inclined to break lest I say something else stupid. When we got back to the house, my heart leapt into my throat when we saw Hatori's car sitting in the drive. It took all of my self control to not run into the house and seek Yuki out and make sure with my own eyes that he was okay.

Gods, forget Haru's game of a billion and one questions!

Knowing that Yuki was back, that he was in the house not a few feet from me, all the answers became very clear.

I'd missed Yuki like mad even though he'd only been gone one mesely night.

I'd longed for him all night, craving his touch, gods, even his _kiss._

I wanted Yuki, plain and simple, he's all I wanted.

His voice, his smell, his laugh, his smile; I wanted it all and I'd missed it _so_ much.

I lead the way into the house and went straight to the kitchen where I heard voices coming from. Haru followed quietly, oblivious to my mounting enthusiasm as to just how incredibly much I wanted to see Yuki again. It's ridiculous for me to feel this way, especially since he'd only been gone for a night. In truth, these... feelings... kind of scared me because of the sheer magnitude of them. I mean, I was basically drowning in my raw desire to see Yuki again.

_I'm _so_ fucked._

I pushed my way into the kitchen with Haru right on my heels and I nearly ran right into Shigure. He was talking to Hatori while Yuki – blessed Yuki – was at the table eating breakfast with Kisa.

"Where have you two been?" Shigure asked, raising a brow at our less than graceful entrance.

Silence.

"We were walking Tohru to work," Haru said, saving me from looking like a complete idiot.

"Er, yeah," I mumbled in agreement, my eyes not leaving Yuki's pallid face.

"Welcome back Kyo!" Kisa voiced quietly as she ran over to me so I could sweep her up off the floor.

"Morning kid, how'd you sleep?"

She smiled tentatively at me with that sweet, innocent face, "Good, t-thanks for tucking me in."

"Think nothing of it kiddo."

My eyes drifted back to Yuki and my stomach plummeted for the second time. He wasn't looking at me, just staring intently down at his breakfast. There weren't any bruises on his face and since Hatori wasn't flaunting over him, then he must be alright.

But there was something off about him.

Dreadfully, terribly off.

His eyes were clouded and glazed like even though he was in the room, he wasn't actually _there._ He was eating his food methodically and it almost seemed as if everything anyone was saying was going in one ear and out another. This wasn't the Yuki I'd been talking to before he'd left with Hatori. This also wasn't the Yuki I'd been getting to know over the past few days. The person sitting before me now was cold, closed off, and so distant that no one could reach him.

_Yuki, what happened to you?_

"Kyo, do you want anything to eat?" Haru asked, making himself a bowl of cereal, only the creases between his brows betraying how worried he was.

"I'm not hungry," I mumbled, heading out into the hall.

Kisa remained in my arms and I was glad that she didn't want to get down. Holding her small weight gave me comfort, though very little. It was nice knowing that I didn't have to do anything to please her or entertain her, she pretty much just took care of herself.

Not knowing what else to do, I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Kisa was looking at me intently, brows furrowing a little in confusion, but she said nothing. Instead, she curled up in my lap and gave me the silent comfort that I needed. There were no probing questions, no demands to do anything, just a quiet offer of companionship to lessen the burden on my heart.

I couldn't stay like that forever though, that would have been too easy. Hiro came over later in the afternoon and took Kisa away with him. As much as I wanted her to stay, I knew it would be better for her if she went back in this case. I didn't ask where Momiji was or why he hadn't come over too, because I didn't know if I wanted the answer or not. Haru went back with them too, but not without giving me a short, 'take care of him.'

How the hell was I supposed to do that when I couldn't even look at him without feeling sick again?

When lunch time came around, I still wasn't hungry enough to actually go back into the kitchen and eat. Though my stomach growled and Yuki had gone upstairs, I didn't want to go back into the kitchen. I knew that all I'd do is picture him sitting at the table, that same dejected look upon his porcelain face.

Hatori was gone, having taken the kids and Haru back to the house and Shigure was hiding in his office. Tohru wouldn't be home until late that night, so that left only me and my own devices. So, I ghosted around the house, plaguing the halls with my incessant movement. I couldn't stay still long enough to sit and though I was tired, I was too hyped up to stop and close my eyes.

I went up to the roof and paced there for a little while, but ended up back in the living room. The restlessness itched at the back of my mind, making me feel feverish even though I wasn't running a temperature. I didn't know what time it was when I was making another round down the hallway when I literally ran into the bane of my every thought.

"Yuki!" I startled, bouncing off him and nearly falling back onto my ass.

"Get out of the way," he replied coldly before physically pushing me aside.

What the hell? What did I do to deserve that?

Losing my temper a little, I grabbed his elbow and spun him around, "What the hell is the matter with you Yuki?"

He glared at me and slapped my hand away, "Nothing, now leave me alone."

The look in his eyes, the same hostility that he'd once reserve only for me, had me backing off a couple steps. Yuki quickly looked away like I disgusted him and went into the kitchen. I heard him open the fridge and close it again, then he was passing me in the hall – not even sparing me a glance. When I heard his door close behind him, my shaking legs gave out and I fell against the wall.

I didn't want to leave him alone, I wanted him with me.

But the way he was looking at me made it clear that he didn't feel the same, not anymore at least.

"It's not fair," I whimpered quietly, throwing my head back against the wall.

-o-o-o-

By the time dinner rolled around, I was really beginning to lose it. I avoided everything and kept to myself, hunched up on the roof in a little ball. My mood would continuously swing from one emotion to the next, each of them taking over with ease. Yuki's words had hurt me, stung me, opened wounds that had hardly even had a chance to close.

And by the time the sun was setting, I was fucking _pissed._

What right did he have to talk to me like that? Sure, I'm not perfect by any means and I tend to fuck up all the damn time, but I didn't deserve what he'd just dished out to me. I couldn't let him shut me out like that, without even so much as an explaination as to why he was being such an asshole. The sun had dipped down to the skyline and that only proved to make me even angrier. I'd wasted a whole fucking day pining over him! Things needed to be resolved damn it!

Seething, I jumped off the roof and landed gracefully on my feet below. Storming inside the house, I scaled the stairs and didn't care enough to knock on Yuki's door before pushing it open. Slamming the door behind me with relish – heedless of whoever else was in the house – and glared daggers at the Rat.

"Go away, Kyo," he said quietly in that same icy tone that I had thoroughly learned to hate.

"No! I've had enough of your bullshit Yuki! I mean, I could understand if I'd done something wrong, but I've spent all day trying to come up with something, and I couldn't! You need to fucking talk to me!"

His returning glare was heartless and frigid, "Obviously, I'm not talking to you because I don't want to."

_That mask, _I thought desperately, _I have to break that damn mask!_

He was hiding behind it like he always used to and I had to fucking do something!

"Yuki, I don't know if I've done something to upset you, but if this is how you're going to be from now on, I'll leave. Akito obviously did something and I want to help, but I simply don't know how. So help me to understand! Let me in so I can do something to fix this!"

He froze then, his already pallid face losing yet another shade of color. There must have been something I'd said that had struck a cord, I just needed to figure out what the trigger was.

Easier said than done though.

"Did I do something, is that it?" I asked desperately, slamming my fist into the wall so hard that it left a dent.

His glare returned full force, "As if I care what you do, now go away."

"No! What did Akito do?"

If it was possible, his glare intensified, "That doesn't concern you. I won't ask you again, get out of my room, you don't belong here."

That last part struck something deep within me and an angry snarl pushed up my throat. I bared my teeth as the snarl came out and my fury began to reach a whole new level.

_Take care of him._

I don't know why Haru's words filled my head at that exact moment, but they soothed me a little. I still didn't know how to deal with the situation and I was pretty sure that I never would be, but getting angry wasn't going to help. I couldn't beat the answers out of Yuki, he'd kick my ass. So what choices did I have left?

Running a frustrated hand through my hair, I huffed out a loud breath, "Don't do this... please."

"I'm not doing anything, you're the one making things worse."

It stung and it was cold, but I didn't get mad and instead nodded, "Alright, I'll leave. But I can't stay here anymore if you're going to be like this, I can't take it."

I glanced up just in time to catch his mask crack a little when his brows furrowed and his eyes betrayed a hint of something fervent.

"It might be for the best," he said slowly, his voice not as icy as it had been moments before.

"Tell me it's what you want Yuki," I pressed, striving for more substantial emotions. "Tell me you don't want me and I'll leave."

Thankfully, that stupid mask shattered right before my very eyes. His breath hitched and his frame shook a little like the effort to stand was too much. With a particularly violent shake and wheezed breath, he quickly turned to me. Panic shone in his amethyst eyes mixed with deep shades of worry, maybe even fear.

"Please – I don't... I don't want you –"

...And there it was.

Gods, I knew what he was going to say, the words were slowly tumbling from his mouth as living proof.

_He doesn't want me._

Maybe Akito had made Yuki see that he was better and deserved more; so now, he was done with me. I was going to be cast aside like I always was for being exactly what I am, the Cat. This was torture, I didn't want to hear it, the pain was too much. Nodding dejectedly, I made a move toward the door to make my escape.

"Stay!" Yuki almost screamed, running forward and latching his arms around my waist. "Stay! Please! I don't want you to go!"

His voice was wavering dangerously and filled with more emotion than ever. I instantly wrapped my arms around him and let him cling to me. My relief that he didn't want me to go was almost overwhelming because my desire to stay with him was unbelievably strong.

"I'm not going anywhere," I assured, sinking a hand into his hair while the other rested on his back.

He burried his face in the crook of my neck, his quick breathes fanning against my skin, "I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry."

"Shh, it's okay," I soothed, inhaling his scent, making sure that I'd never forget the feeling of having him so close.

I said nothing when I felt the cool moisture of water soaking into my shirt, nor did I comment on the tremors that shook Yuki's body. Instead, I sank to the floor, bringing him down with me and just... held him. It was all I could do for the moment, though what I really wanted was to take all of Yuki's pain away and put it in a place where it could never reach him again.

"Never a-again," Yuki murmured quietly, his nails digging through my shirt. "This'll never h-happen again."

Pressing my mouth against his ear I asked, "Will you tell me everything?"

His nod was quick and I could feel his jaw clenching against my cheek, "Yes, as long as you don't go."

"You're kind of laying on top of me," I teased to lighten the mood a little. "Besides, it's not like I have anywhere else I'd rather be."

And it was true, there really wasn't anywhere else I'd rather be.

Yuki didn't want me to go and damn it all, I didn't want to go either. This felt right – being with Yuki – and I didn't want that to change. Over such a short time, he'd come to mean so much to me and I just couldn't let that go.

Not for anything.

_**Next chapter from Yuki's POV.**_

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	22. Chapter 22

_**WARNING: Extreme WAFF!**_

_**ENJOY  
**_

**CHAPTER 22**

**YUKI:**

He was so warm and I'd never really acknowledged just how strong he was until that moment. Kyo held me, let me cry, and didn't say anything, just gave me silent comfort which was what I needed most. His mere presence drove all the darkness away and made me feel lighter than I had in a long time.

But though I was comfortable, I highly doubted he was since I was sort of crushing him into the floor and wall. If he was uncomfortable though, he didn't say anything, he just stroked his fingers through my hair and kept quiet.

"We can move if you want," I offered quietly, somewhat reluctant to break the silence.

He didn't pause in sifting through my hair and his voice was just as hushed, "I'm fine if you are."

I wrapped my arms around him tighter, never wanting to let go. I could hardly believe I'd almost driven him away, that he'd nearly walked through my door for the last time. I couldn't stand even thinking about watching his back disappear through the wooden pane. I'm certain he would have gone back into the mountains or found some other way to vanish from my life and I just couldn't have that.

"You're _so_ stupid," Kyo breathed, his mouth closer to my ear than I remembered it being. "Tell me what happened."

Before I could even stop myself, the words were tumbling past my lips.

-o-O-o-

_My skin was crawling the entire car ride over, gooseflesh prickling each and every patch of my body. If there was ever a time that I wished I didn't exist, that would have been it. _

_When we'd gotten there, the room had been cold, lifeless – much like the way I was feeling. So much of me had wanted to just vanish, disappear and become part of something greater than myself. In a way, it sort of felt like I was giving up, but by that point, I was beyond giving a care. _

_"Hello Yuki."_

_That voice – that was the voice a child would hear in their nightmares. I wasn't a child by any means, but it still felt like a nightmare to me. _

_An unforgiving nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. _

_Akito stalked closer to me and I absolutely refused to look at him, to give him the satisfaction of knowing that what he was saying scared me senseless. I knew what he was going to say before he even said it and still, it made me feel sick. I didn't want to hear it, knowing that I'd believe whatever words came out of his mouth. _

_So, to protect myself, I put on my most impenetrable mask. It had taken me years of practice to get this one right, to make it so that nothing could get to me, but it wasn't perfect. Things still got through, things that I so desperately tried to block. It lulled me into a daze where I lost all sense of time and could only concentrate on the floor in front of me. _

_"You're nothing." _

_My heart hammered against my rib cage._

_"You're worthless, empty, shallow." _

_I could almost feel my soul breaking, cracking and crumbling away piece by piece. _

_"How could anyone care about someone like you?"_

_That one struck a real nerve with me and I just... broke. I went to a place, a dark place so full of misery that I was practically drowning. A cold understanding swept through my veins and all I wanted to do was stop everything. I remained silent during his accusations, unable to muster the courage to speak, to deny him what I knew was true. What was I really?_

_A nothing. _

_A no one._

_If I disappeared, would it really matter?_

_"All you've ever cared about is yourself and that's the only person who ever will."_

_I believed him whole heartedly. _

_I don't know how long he was with me or how long I sat there, all I know is that what felt like an eternity later, Hatori came in to get me. I stayed in my daze, now just trying to pull myself back together and I could hardly even function properly. _

_The world had become a dull, colorless, cruel place and I didn't want to have anything to do with it. Akito's words, the ones that had made it through my mask, had cut me deep. He hadn't even laid a single finger on me, yet I felt as if I was covered in wounds no one else could see._

_But I could _feel _it. _

_I could feel the dark despair taking over and eating away at me. I was just a broken piece of nothingness that didn't deserve anyone or anything. _

_If Hatori said anything to me, I didn't hear it. I just got in the car and stared out the window, utterly miserable. My thoughts were morbid and I just felt completely drained. The desire to be alone forever so that no one could hurt me took hold and once the idea had implanted itself in my mind, I absolutely clung to it with everything I had. _

_No one could hurt me if I pushed them away._

_No one wanted me so it stood to reason that I should be alone._

_Only I could care for myself after all. _

_And it was with these thoughts that I'd entered the house, the memory of Akito still frighteningly fresh in my mind. My wounds were many and though no one else could see them, they hurt me with each breath I took. _

_I was shattered and He had been the one to break me. _

-o-O-o-

"He was so... cruel."

"You're alright now," Kyo soothed, fingers massaging the back of my neck.

I had melted into him, my body molding to follow the curves and contours of his own. Merciful heaven it was wonderful to have him there and to hear his voice. His wasn't dark and lined with menace, it was melodic and oddly enough, boyishly beautiful. I inhaled, relishing the onslaught of fresh spices and that special earthy scent that reminded me of fire on a cold night.

I shifted, snuggling myself closer to him and smirking when he grunted. He didn't pull away or anything, just sat there in a docile stupor and let me do what I wanted. It was refreshing that he was willing to do that for me, go against his better nature just to cheer me up. I'd told him everything and he hadn't pushed away from me, instead, he'd pulled me closer and _held me there. _

He didn't say much of anything as I recounted my story, but he'd always let me know he was listening. Sometimes it was by brushing his cheek against my hair and other times he'd give my neck a light squeeze with his wonderfully gentle fingers. Each movement, each careful touch had me feeling more like myself the more he did it.

My mask that I'd thought was my ultimate protection, well, he'd shattered it. He'd stuck with me until it was actually me he was talking to and by that point I was all but at his mercy. It was Kyo that made the darkness recede, thinking about it, I'm certain that it will always be Kyo who has the power to do that. Though I have no idea how he manages to get under my skin the way he does, but he's really freaking good at it.

Kyo forced me to be myself and the strange thing was that he hadn't needed to get angry with me to do it. He only had to care and he'd done that in his own special way. He'd offered to forgo his own happiness if that would make me happy and there just wasn't anything more endearing than that.

His fingers stilled on my neck suddenly, "You're not going to become all depressed anymore... are you?"

I almost laughed and shook my head, desperate for him to move his fingers again, "No, just so long as you stay."

"That can be arranged," he replied, his blessed hand starting its hypnotic motion.

The Cat's stomach then snarled, rumbling so loud that my own body shook from the tremors.

"Kyo? When was the last time you ate?"

He ducked his head sheepishly, "I don't know... since before you left."

I none too gently pinched his side chiding, "Idiot!"

We got up, but I was unwilling to relinquish my hold on him, so I wrapped an arm around his waist. He didn't say anything about it even though it was sort of awkward trying to find a way to get down the stairs like that. It was dark outside so we must have been in my room for a lot longer than I'd originally thought. Tohru was asleep and it seemed like Shigure was too since there weren't any other lights on in the house.

When Kyo's stomach growled again, mine did too, reminding me that I hadn't eaten all that much either since my return. We went into the kitchen and pulled out some random foods, most of which were leftovers from meals that Kyo hadn't eaten over the past week. Throughout the entire time, we were never but a few short steps apart and often times, our arms would be brushing.

I heated up anything that was a liquid – because really, that was all I was good for in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Kyo did the more complex things, like put the contents together in the proper way. Surprisingly, he'd pulled out a stick of cinnamon and while he was crushing it for flavoring purposes, he would occasionally toss a small piece into his mouth and chew on it.

We tried to make as little noise as possible so as not to wake anyone and I thought we were doing a pretty good job of it. It was such a relief to be with him and not have to worry about anything else.

"Hey look, it's snowing," Kyo commented, gazing past me out the window.

I swiveled my head around and couldn't help but smile at the white flecks fluttering in the breeze. Abandoning the food, I grabbed his hand and tugged him to the door. He followed without complaint, as I knew he would, but not before throwing another piece of cinnamon in his mouth. He was honestly the only person I knew that could eat cinnamon like that, the crazy feline.

I pulled him outside behind me, bypassing our coats and shoes. Neither of us were wearing socks, so when we got outside, the frigid floorboards had our warm skin stinging. Kyo hissed, but continued to follow me farther out onto the porch. The wind tousled my bangs, causing them to whip against my cheeks. I stopped at the corner of the porch, prodding him to come stand next to me.

"We should go to the lake," I volleyed as the wind sent a gust of snowflakes into my face. "I'm sure it's beautiful with the water frozen and everything covered in snow."

"Let's do it then," he replied, voice sounding oddly strained.

It was as we stood there that I became aware that Kyo was already shivering, I could feel the tremors coming from his body through our linked hands. Looking over, I found that his jaw was clenched tight, keeping his teeth from chattering, and his cheeks had a lovely blush to them. I myself wasn't all that cold, but then again, he was thinner than I was by a surprising margin.

Taking pity, I pulled him over so that he was standing in front of me and wrapped my arms around him. He squirmed a little at first, but quickly stilled when I rested my chin on his right shoulder. I kept our right hands linked and hooked my left thumb into the waistband of his pants.

He freaked again and I couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped when I heard him make an odd noise that wondrously resembled a whine. I knew he didn't like having someone behind him, but really, this was on the verge of ridiculous. He didn't disentangle himself from me entirely, merely made it so that he could spin in the circle of my arms in such a way that he was facing me. His hands grappled at my shirt before encircling my waist and he stilled once more.

"Freak out much?" I asked, wrapping my arms around him as he turned his head sideways so that he could still see the snowfall.

"O-only sometimes," he answered quietly, a small chatter sneaking into his voice.

After a few short moments, he relaxed, leaning into the embrace. I'd known he had a problem exposing his back to people, but I hadn't known it was that extreme. It was almost like he was _petrified_ of it even though there was nothing to fear when it was just me and him. Silently resolving to personally deal with the problem later, I rested my cheek against his wonderfully soft hair and let my fingers trace the line of his spine. I could feel each warm puff of his breath against my neck and every single time, I caught the faint hint of cinnamon.

We just stood there, watching the snow fall as white plumes escaped our bodies with each breath we took. The shivers that shook his body became less prominent, but his jaw remained steadfast to keep himself from chattering his teeth. Sighing to myself, I decided that we should probably go back inside because the last thing we needed was for one of us to get sick.

But before I let go for us to get inside, into the warmth of the house, I wanted to see just how much I could get away with. He'd been letting me do whatever I wanted with him all night thus far, so where would he draw the line?

Shifting just a little, my lips found his forehead and I gave it a firm kiss. He remained still, but I was certain that he was no longer breathing. He was holding his breath, waiting to see what I would do next. Really, it was a mystery to the both of us, but I wasn't going to tell him that I had no idea what I was doing.

I let my hands wander the planes of his back and that got him to breath again – and also squirm. He pushed his face further into the crook of my neck as if hiding there and made an odd noise I'd never heard from him before. Emboldened, I dug my nails in just a bit and repeated the same motion, following the curve of his spine. The results caught me by surprise as his grip on my sides tightened almost painfully and he bit down on my neck with a strange growling noise.

I gasped at the feel of his teeth embedded in my skin and felt my cheeks blush because it was curiously arousing. His hot breath fanned over my neck and his chest was flush against mine, insistently pressing closer. I didn't know why he was acting like that and for a brief moment, I feared that I was hurting him.

Swallowing thickly, I took a chance and slowly kneaded my hands back downward. Once again, he took me by surprise and pushed me back until I was pressed against the wall of the house. Another growl issued from him, only this one sounded suspiciously like a moan. It was easily one of the sexiest noises I'd ever heard so I couldn't really be blamed when I was overcome with the desire to touch the warm skin hidden beneath his shirt. Right when my fingers curled around the hem of his shirt and began to lift up, he broke down.

This was apparently his breaking point for the time being because he let go of my neck, breathing shallowly, and used his hands to hold my arms still against the wall. My own breath was coming out in short gasps, a quick succession of white plumes that mingled with his. I tilted my head and met his gaze only to have my breath hitch at the sight. Those crimson orbs were blazing with mixed emotions, but what affected me most that there were traces of lust in them that mirrored my own.

"We should go back inside," Kyo said, his voice hushed and his body shaking.

Neither of us moved though and I felt frozen as his eyes flickered to the place where he'd bitten me. I didn't move and neither did he, except for when he leaned forward and licked the abused flesh almost apologetically. He had nothing to feel sorry for though because honestly, I'd rather enjoyed that little nip. Kyo ran his tongue over the skin again and I was strangely pleased that the appendage was slightly roughened, much like a cat's would be.

"Kyo," I murmured breathily, my arms feebly struggling in his hold.

He quickly stepped back like I'd burned him, leaving me feeling cold and bereft of his warmth. Looking up, I wanted to hug him because his eyes were wide and panicky. Basically, he was displaying the very thing that I was feeling. This thing between us, neither of us had ever done it before so really, his skittishness was perfectly acceptable.

I smiled and took his hand, "I believe we were making dinner, yeah?"

He nodded and let me lead him inside while my whole body was screaming for his touch. Kyo was always so full of surprises! When I thought he'd be characteristically rough, he was instead incredibly gentle. In the kitchen, I couldn't keep my hands off him. I was always touching him in some way whether it be running a hand along his bicep or caressing the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

I believe it was his reaction that thrilled me the most because he'd shiver and often lost his concentration, fumbling with whatever he had in his hands. Of course he'd glare at me whenever I did that, but there was no menace behind the gesture, more of a quiet warning than anything else. I personally found it adorable, not that I'd tell him that, his pride would make him snap at me.

Once we were done preparing the food, we found ourselves on the floor in the living room. We'd scooted the couch back and pushed the center table off to the left so we'd have enough room to lay everything out. Kyo had grabbed far too many blankets, some of which he used to make a seat for us while the others he threw over our shoulders.

Of all the food we'd gotten ready, the first thing he went for was the extra cinnamon he'd laid out.

I gave him a curious look and he retorted defensively, "What?"

I raised a brow, "Have a thing for cinnamon do you?"

"I do like it, but it's peppermint that drives me insane," he replied offhandedly, going for another piece of cinnamon.

We were sitting so close that our sides were pressed together and I for one was thoroughly enjoying it. Why couldn't we just have every meal like this? Feeling strangely giddy, I used a fork to get a piece of chicken and held it up, offering it to him.

For a short moment, I thought he was going to turn me down or brush me off. But he neither of those and instead, hesitantly, opened his mouth a wrapped those plush lips around the utensil. I pulled the fork back, feeling absolutely euphoric, so much so that I simply _had_ to lean over and kiss his cheek.

He huffed and floored me when he reciprocated, only with a piece of steak instead. That was actually how we ate our meal, by feeding each other and childishly making a mess of things. Noodles were particularly difficult because they kept falling off the utensils and often times not making it entirely into our mouths. Despite that though, we were laughing and enjoying ourselves, sometimes even missing on purpose just to add to the humor.

At one point, I spotted a small splash of pasta sauce on the side of his mouth. I'm sure a normal person would have just wiped it off, but I'm a Sohma, I'm the farthest thing from normal. So, grabbing his chin, I leaned over and licked the small splotch off, savoring the taste that had Kyo's uniqueness mixed in it.

When I released him, he looked dazed and somewhat surprised. But then I was the one to lose their train of thought when he had my heart hammering by sticking his tongue out and running it over the spot I'd just licked. Did he have any idea what he was doing to me? I mean, I had half a mind to just pin him to the floor and ravish him in every way I possibly could!

To save him from my perversion, I licked my lips and said lowly, "You taste _good_."

His whole face – and I'm sure his body – turned bright red and he quickly shoved a pickle slice into his mouth. Chuckling at his antics, I nuzzled my nose against his temple and placed a light kiss there.

He tasted delicious, he smelled mouthwatering, and I was totally addicted to him.

We slowly finished our meal and I took every opportunity to make him blush, which really wasn't all that hard. Once we were finished eating, we took the dirty dishes and leftovers into the kitchen and put it all away. I finished things in the kitchen while he took care of the stuff in the living room. By the time he returned, it was well past one in the morning and I was becoming deliriously tired.

I yawned broadly and rubbed the back of my left eye tiredly, blinking a few times afterward to clear my vision. Kyo was standing there, looking amused and... fond? Was he looking at me fondly?

There was no way...

"Come here, there's something I want to show you," Kyo said, extending his left hand for me to take, which I did without hesitation.

He took me up the stairs and down the hall, but didn't head toward my room and instead went for his own. When we got into the room, he let go of me and went over to a cupboard on the far left. He had a smile on his face, one that made me want to take a picture and hold onto it forever so I could look at it whenever I wanted.

"Now," he began slowly, "what I'm about to show you is top secret, got that?"

I almost laughed at the teasing look he had, how he could make me this happy after coming back from someplace as desolate as the main house was a mystery.

Shaking my head and barely biting back a chuckle, I replied, "Your secret is safe with me."

I sat down on the bed, figuring that we'd just stay in his room tonight. The thought sort of excited me, especially since we'd never really done it before. Well, there was that one night when he was sick, but that didn't count because it wasn't exactly mutual. Surprisingly, when Kyo came over to join me, he had a large, fluffy-looking comforter in his arms.

"_This_ is the single most comfortable cover in the whole world," Kyo announced, eyes sparkling with pride.

To this, I actually did laugh, "Kyo, that's just a blanket."

He shook his head and sat down next to me, "Is not!"

Kyo then grabbed my hand and pressed it against the fabric, never letting go as he did so. It was soft – incredibly so – but what had really captured my attention was how _Kyo's_ hand felt. The skin was soft, just like the blanket, but not smooth by any means. There were callouses, more textured skin, in various places on the padding of his palm. I distantly wondered where he'd gotten them and was struck by just how desperately I wanted to know him, be close to him.

He ran our hands over the comforter a couple more times before looking up at me expectantly. There was such earnestness on his boyish face, like he was truly looking for my approval, and it was _so_ absolutely endearing. My hand was still trapped between his and the blanket, so I reached up and interlocked our fingers.

Leaning closer to him, I whispered, "You continuously surprise and amaze me when I least expect it you _stupid _cat."

He didn't look offended at the admittance like I thought he would, instead, he just seemed confused. His brow furrowed and his lips twisted into something that wasn't a smile, but wasn't a frown either. Raising my other hand, I cupped his cheek and ghosted my thumb over his cheek.

I don't think he'd been expecting me to kiss him, but I did. It wasn't a normal kiss either, it was heady and fervent, demanding even. I don't really know what had come over me or why I was acting the way I was, but I was absolutely dominating. I pushed him back on the mattress and had to smile into the kiss when he made a soft '_mpf_' noise.

The gasp of surprise made him open his mouth just a fraction and I had a split second to decide what to do. In the end, I couldn't help myself and my tongue slid soundly into his mouth. Kyo was, predictably, squirming beneath me, but I just tightened my hold on our linked hands. I used my torso to press him more firmly into the mattress and swept my tongue from one corner of his mouth to the other.

I'm not sure which one of us let out the loud moan, but it absolutely shattered the previous quiet of the room. His mouth was so hot and so incredibly intoxicating that I forgot to breath, forgot that I even existed. All that remained in the world was Kyo's body pressed to my chest and his tongue sliding against my own.

How had I gone so long without this?

I couldn't recall a time I'd been so happy and felt so complete. And when Kyo's tongue moved hesitantly against mine, I knew that the resounding moan had come from me. The noise must have given him courage because he tenaciously bit down on my tongue, scraping his teeth over the sensitive pores. I reciprocated with enthusiasm that surprised both of us and before long, we were both struggling to breath.

We broke apart and stared at each other with long, searching looks. I was trying to memorize the expression on his face, the flushed cheeks, the dazed and adoring look. I leaned down and kissed him again, a chaste one, relishing in the way his lips became pliant beneath mine.

"I take it... you like the comforter?" He asked breathlessly when I pulled back, eyes partially glazed as he licked his lips.

I would have laughed, but I became entirely distracted as I watched the motion of his tongue and noticed how glossy his lips became afterward.

Smiling, I nipped at his chin saying, "Yeah, I like the comforter."

"Um... good," he ventured, reaching up to brush my bangs out of my face and tuck the stray hair behind my ear.

It was such a simple gesture, an honest, innocent one that had my heart thrumming at an impossible rate. How could I have ever thought that he didn't care? People that didn't care wouldn't do something like that and I was embarrassed to find that my vision had gone blurry. Desperate not to break down and cry again, I moved away from him and went for the left side of the bed, the side by the wall.

He moved closer to the headboard – comforter in hand – voicing, "Uh, Yuki... could I –"

"No, you may not have this side of the bed," I answered, quickly grabbing him and pulling him to me. "You can either sleep with your back to me or exposed to the door, it's your choice."

Kyo glared at me, with real menace this time, "You're fucking insane, it's not like I ask for much of anything! It's _my_ room don't forget, so you should sleep where _I _say you can!"

His anger did nothing except amuse me, which probably wasn't healthy. I reached over and ran my fingers through his hair, testing to see just how upset he really was. When he didn't move away, I decided to make the decision for him and forcefully pulled him to me. He struggled like mad, kicking and cussing like a child. He was thin though and still so skinny that I was easily able to have my way.

Kyo was facing me when I'd finally settled him down and for one wild moment, I thought for sure he was going to punch me. He was glaring at me with such intensity that I nearly squirmed in discomfort and relented in giving him the space by the wall. But then he hissed and made a noise that sounded like a whimper before becoming a flurry of motion. One second he was facing me, the next he had his back to me and was pushing back fervently like he wanted to go through me.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him close, leaning up just to whisper in his ear, "It's alright, you can trust me."

That same noise – the one that resembled a whimper – came from his throat and, after much resilience, he began to relax. It was imperceptible at first, but slowly, his taunt muscles lost their hard edge. I soothed him as best I could and even peppered some light kisses on the back of his neck, resisting the urge to see what the flesh tasted like.

The door was closed, the lights were off, and to top it all off, I covered us with Kyo's precious comforter. That seemed to be the final element that calmed him and he completely relaxed against me. I ran my right hand down his side, enjoying the way the skin beneath his shirt twitched under my touch. My hand then trailed over to his now quivering stomach and up his chest where I could still feel each one of his ribs sticking out.

Once again, he was letting me do whatever I wanted and I didn't know if he would still indulge me so graciously when morning came. I was so grateful to him for all he'd done for me and the whole thing had a terrifying lump forming in my throat.

"Kyo?"

"Hm?"

I rested my chin on his shoulder and sighed heavily, "I – Kyo, I _really_ like you _a lot._"

It hadn't occurred to me that perhaps that wasn't the best thing to admit to someone I'd only recently begun to... date? See? Get close to? I didn't know the proper term for what we were or what we were doing.

But I needn't have worried because in the next instant, he'd craned his head back and sought out my lips for a kiss.

"You're such a girl," he chastised, turning back to lay his head down.

I smirked, not missing the prominent blush working its way up his neck and into his cheeks. He grabbed my hand and pulled my arm around him, linking our fingers together in the process. I snuggled up against his back, for once understanding why people liked to do something as mushy as _snuggling._ Actually, I found it to be rather extremely appealing.

Kyo's body was pleasantly burning me through my clothes and I thoroughly enjoyed feeling each one of his measured breathes beneath my arm. I adored the fact that if I had nightmares of the main house, all I'd have to do was take a deep breath and the scent of fresh spices, of _Kyo_, would reassure me that I was safe.

"I really like you too."

So lost in my musings, I'd almost missed the softly spoken words that made my heart want to explode with joy. To let him know that I'd heard him, I kissed the back of his neck and then pulled him closer before settling down to sleep. As much as I didn't want to sleep only to wake up and find out the whole magical night with Kyo had never happened, I knew I couldn't stay awake much longer.

As I fell asleep though, my final thought was one that both terrified me and excited me in equal amounts. It was an errant thought, one that hadn't really come from anywhere and had just appeared without provocation.

And that thought was that perhaps _like_ wasn't the best word to describe how I felt for him...

**_Next chapter from Yuki's POV._**

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	23. Chapter 23

_**WARNING: WAFF!**_

_***reads chapter over and drools*  
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_**Not beta-read.**_

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**CHAPTER 23**

**YUKI:**

"What the –"

I looked over my shoulder slowly and blinked several times to help wake myself up. Kyo's eyes slit open and he offered a tiny smile, one that told me that he wasn't nearly as awake as he normally was when he first began to rouse.

"I don't remember this being how we fell asleep," I said, wiggling backward a little to emphasize the fact.

"I'm sorry," Kyo whispered, not sounding sorry in the least. "You were surprisingly easy to move and I really had tried to stay put, but every single time you moved in your sleep I got... nervous."

I huffed and turned around to kiss him on the forehead, "Why don't you just say it? It scares you to be exposed like that."

"It doesn't scare me," he sputtered drowsily, looking abashed. "I just don't like it!"

He had me smiling and I'm positive that that hadn't been his intentions, but – _gods!_ – he was cute. Kyo was glaring at me, the set of his jaw firm, but his bottom lip stuck out just a bit as if he were pouting. I peppered light kisses on his face, starting at his forehead and working my way downward.

"And why don't you like it?" I somehow asked through the barrage of kisses, enjoying the way his glare slowly melted away.

His lower lip moved out a little more as he mumbled, "I jus' do."

Damn that adorable look, it had me swooning, my insides quivering in delight. I nibbled at that attractive lip and he predictably twitched, unknowingly opening his mouth to me. Like a starved animal, I fused our mouths together and let my tongue snake into that inviting heat. He responded quicker this time than he had the last time and moved with more confidence than the night before.

I let my left hand trail down his side and trace the curve of his thigh. He must not have noticed what I was doing, because his fingers were too busy carding through my hair. Kyo wasn't tugging hard enough for it to be painful, just enough for it to be pleasurable and continuously remind me that it was _him_ doing it. He was so pliant with me and enjoying himself, which made me smile into the kiss.

Slowly, I wrapped my fingers around the back of knee and before he could fully register what was happening, I pulled, hooking his leg over my hip. He broke the kiss with a muffled yell and tried to get away, but as usual, I had a way to thwart his plans of escape. Keeping my hold on his leg, I abruptly turned onto my back, pulling him on top of me so that he was straddling my waist.

This time, his yell wasn't muffled as he scrambled to try and get away. I grasped his slim hips and held him there, close to laughing at the odd shade of tomato red his face turned. Laughing at him wouldn't help ease him though, especially if I told him I wanted to laugh because of how cute he was being.

So, I just gave him a reassuring smile and relaxed my head into the pillow, "Calm down, would you?"

His body shook and he worried his bottom lip with his teeth before clutching my shoulders in a tight grip. His back arched so that he was hovering over me, his breathes coming out in quick succession through his nose. He'd screwed his eyes shut which didn't sit well with me because I adored each and every emotion that flashed through them.

Keeping my hold on his hips, I leaned up and lightly kissed his right cheek, "You don't need to be so skittish." My eyes roved over his body and my lips twisted into a smile, "You have absolutely _nothing_ to be embarrassed about."

Kyo continued to abuse his lower lip, but slid his hands off my shoulders so he could pull me close and bury his face in the crook of my neck. I could feel by the brush of his lashes against my skin that he'd opened his eyes and though I wanted to see them, I couldn't bring myself to move him. The hug had surprised me, but I think that it was the innocence behind the gesture that really got to me.

I let my hands slide from his hips since he wasn't trying to bolt anymore and ran my fingers down his thighs and back up again. His legs quivered under my touch, but Kyo only tightened his hold on me so I concluded that he was fine with it so far. His hip bones were prominent through his shirt and though that worried me, I found myself fascinated by the way his body shook every time I touched him. I knew he was blushing too and I was suddenly overcome with the desire to know if his whole body blushed.

So I curled my fingers around the hem of his shirt with the intentions of lifting it up a little and pulling it back so I could quench my curiosity. I never got the chance though because Kyo decided to take that moment and snap himself into action. He put his hands back on my shoulders and forcefully pushed down so that I was laying with my head on the pillow again.

"D-damn it Yuki! Have you no shame," he hissed, his cheeks a fiery red and his eyes smoldering.

"Nope," I responded promptly, surprising us both. "I think I've been spending too much time with Shigure because all I want to do right now is violate you."

I don't know what it was, but forceful Kyo had me wanting to drool and violate him even more.

I'd never felt this way about anyone before, quite literally no one had ever illicit these kinds of feelings from me. Sure, I felt strongly for Tohru, but I'd never wanted to take her clothes off and see what every patch of skin tasted like. Gods it was scary to think about wanting to do that sort of thing and with another boy no less!

"How am I supposed to kiss you if you won't let me up," I asked, miffed that I didn't get to do what I wanted.

He leaned down, looking like he was going to kiss me which made my day. But he bypassed my mouth and instead used his tongue to trace a line from my collar bone to the junction of my jaw. My whole body shook against him and my hands shifted to clutch at the fabric covering his lower back. My head moved to the side giving him full access to whatever he wanted though I figured that licking me would be the extent of his courage.

A strangled cry came careening out of my mouth as he suddenly bit down on the pulse point of my neck. Almost as quickly as he'd bitten, he released me, tenderly licking the spot in apology. My breathing had quickened, coming out in short gasps as he kept me pinned by the shoulders.

I could feel the tip of his nose trailing a path up my neck and it was absolute torture to have his breath warming my skin as I waited for what he'd do next. His heart was beating madly, I could feel it even from the base of his back and it absolutely thrilled me for some reason. He moved up to my left ear, but instead of biting the lobe like I thought he would, he moved to a patch of skin _behind_ my ear.

"Hah, K-Kami," I barely choked out while my back arched in pleasure as he sucked on that particular spot.

Was that my voice? That couldn't have been my voice, it sounded too needy, too breathy. I don't ever sound like that, so it definitely wasn't me.

"Like that do you?" He asked, his voice low, hot, and fucking _sexy._

Kyo never waited for my answer because he was too busy nipping at that vulnerable place behind my ear. My world tilted on its axis as my body arched up into him again, a wonton, high-pitched noise coming from my mouth.

With fingers digging into his back, I knew that that desperate voice crying out earlier had most _definitely_ been my own. This, what we were doing, felt so right, despite how wrong I knew it was. He continued lavishing that spot, quickly turning my mind into nothing but a jumbled mess. It was when he lightly grazed his teeth over the sensitive skin that I lost it, arching up so much into him that we lost balance and fell off the side of the bed.

We landed on the floor in a heap, him beneath me and his legs bent on either side of me. He let out a _whoosh_ of air when I came down on him, my hands splaying out on his chest for support. I chuckled, looking up to meet his gaze only to freeze when he started to laugh. It came out soft at first, but steadily got louder until it was a full-blown, genuine laugh.

I looked up at him and immediately found myself laughing along with him. I don't know if it was the situation or if it was just that I _really_ liked the sound of his laugh, but I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt.

"We are _so _ridiculous," he said quietly, eyes bright with mirth and voice laced with amusement. "Now, was that some sort of unsubtle hint that it's time to get up?"

I huffed and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, "No, but we probably should or we'll draw attention to ourselves."

"Good point," Kyo agreed, leaning up to give me a kiss of his own. "What time is it anyway?"

"Just past ten thirty."

He _hmm_-ed disapprovingly and wriggled under me, a clear sign that he wanted to get up. I reluctantly rolled off him and stood, offering a hand to help him up. We traveled down to the kitchen, both knowing that Tohru was at work, putting in early hours so she could be back a couple hours before dinner.

"Oh, there you two are!" Shigure said happily, flaunting out of his office and into the kitchen when he heard noises. "Yuki, Tohru was looking for you earlier, but she said you weren't in your room."

"I couldn't sleep so I wandered around a bit," I lied while some of the blood drained from my face. "What did she need?"

"I don't know, only that she had something to ask you." The Dog then gave me a curious look, "You wandered around in your pajamas?"

Kyo, the wonderful Cat, interjected, "You know, you're quick to question someone else, but aren't you just using us to distract you from working? I slept in, who knows what the damn Rat was up to, and you're procrastinating. What seems to be the problem?"

At that moment, all I wanted was for Shigure to leave to I could kiss the clever feline senseless.

"Right... I just find it weird that somehow, you both managed to appear at the same time," the Dog said slowly, speculatively.

I grabbed some food from the cupboard, "Who said we came down at the same time?"

"I'm only in here for some milk," Kyo added, pulling the glass container out of the fridge.

I had to stifle a smile at how surprisingly well we were working together and it was easy to tell that Shigure didn't quite know what to think. Kyo popped the top off of the glass milk jar and I couldn't possibly miss a perfect opportunity to have Shigure believe that we were actually fighting.

"Stupid Cat, you should use a cup for that... or in your case, a bowl."

He hissed and purposefully took a swig of the milk, "I only do this 'cause I know how much it pisses you off."

Gods, he played his part well. It was just like old times, but then again, it really wasn't. And honestly, I preferred this new 'fake' fighting _so _much more than our old fighting where we actually meant the insults we threw at each other. Now it was our own little secret and every single insult meant about as much as a the significance of a flower growing in a field.

I glared at him and saw a small glimmer of amusement hiding in his eyes, "All you have to do to piss me off is show your face."

"Bastard!" Kyo growled, slamming the glass container so hard against the counter that some milk splashed out of the top, "I'm going to kick your fucking ass!'

"Oh good, glad to see you've found some new material," I replied drily, purposefully looking bored.

Kyo picked up a glass cup from an open cabinet and snarled before throwing it at me. I dodged it, stepping just to the left so it could smash against the wall behind me.

When Kyo grabbed another glass, Shigure raised his hands and waved them frantically, "Please stop destroying my kitchen! You two are always so moody!"

"And you're always procrastinating!" Kyo yelled, throwing the new glass straight at Shigure's head.

The Dog only barely managed to duck in time and after that, he hightailed it out of there with his tail between his legs. After he left and after I heard his office door slam, I slapped a hand over my mouth to keep myself from laughing. Kyo's laughter was vastly different from my own because his was the silent laughter one gets when they're laughing really, really hard.

When he got some control over himself, I stalked over to him, backing him up until he hit the counter and had no where else to go. I think I got a little too much enjoyment in the way his cheeks flushed and the way his eyes glinted with a slightly panicked look.

Maybe Shigure's perversion really _had _rubbed off on me...

As I reached him, I took hold of his waist and hauled him up to sit on the counter. The thought that he was lighter than he should have been was quickly forgotten as I pushed between his legs and placed my hands on either sides of his hips. There was an actual purpose behind my doing this and that purpose was that he wouldn't be able to run away from what I needed to ask him.

There was absolutely nothing dirty minded about my positioning us like that.

Nope, not a single thing dirty about it...

It wasn't because I liked the heat he so willingly gave off or the way his scent of spices got stronger when he was nervous or the way he glanced at my lips like he wanted to kiss me but didn't know how to go about doing it or how –

Okay... so maybe our positioning had absolutely everything to do with sating my suddenly very active libido. It was Kyo's fault really, my sex drive had been almost completely dormant until _he_ had worked himself into my system. Now all I could think about was what I wanted to do to him next. See? It was all Kyo's fault... his and my overly active libido that was apparently trying it damnedest to make up for lost time.

"That was brilliant," Kyo mused in a hushed voice, blushing suddenly before hastily brushing his lips against mine.

I smirked, "Well of course it was, I'm a genius."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes, shaking his head to let me know just stupid he thought I was.

"Do you remember what you promised me that day under the willows?" I asked softly, holding his gaze captive with my own.

"Vaguely..."

"Kyo," I warned, voice stern.

He paused and flinched, "Okay, yeah I do."

"Come up with a suitable answer yet?"

"No..."

I held his wavering look for a long moment before asking, "Then are you going to tell me why you hate trains?"

Surprisingly, a mass of pain entered his eyes. I hadn't expected that, especially since the last time we'd talked about it, he'd only hinted that the topic made him sad. Now he just looked torn apart and miserable, making me want to hold him close quite desperately. I'm pretty sure that if anyone even thought about disturbing us at this moment, I would have ripped them to shreds. The desire to protect Kyo with everything I had was overwhelming and made my heart ache.

I may be broken, but Kyo, he was _shattered._

How could I have not known that until now?

_All you'll ever care about is yourself._

Well, not anymore.

That may have been the way I used to be, but that most definitely didn't apply to me anymore because of how much I cared about the person right in front of me.

I smiled and leaned forward so that our foreheads were pressed together and our noses were brushing. Our breath mingled between us and just had to close my eyes, relishing everything about the moment. He said nothing and leaned into me, sending the warm, fluttering feeling in my gut wild.

Oh, I'd protect him alright, with all I had.

"It's alright if you don't want to tell me yet," I said quietly, keeping my eyes closed. "I really would like to know, but only when you're ready."

He took a deep breath, the action almost sounding like a sigh of relief when he let the air back out. Then his lips were seeking mine in a soft caress and I didn't exactly need much prodding to respond to him. There was a kindling of passion behind this kiss, fueling it into something deep, messy, and utterly glorious. We hadn't kissed like this yet, with such reckless abandon as if the world didn't exist anymore.

Kyo's surprisingly strong legs wrapped around my waist, pulling me as close to him as the counter would allow. He might have done it to keep me there, not that he needed to have worried, I definitely wasn't going anywhere. His fingers carded through my hair, effectively keeping our mouths fused together in a rather desperate kiss. His tongue actively battled against mine while my nails dug into the small of his back, pressing him closer to me.

He tugged and pulled on my hair, fingers becoming tangled within the slate colored strands. I lifted him a little with my arms, his tightly fastened legs offering better leverage so I could deepen the kiss even further. There were soft pants coming from both of us which quickly turned into ragged breathes. The noise my ears were straining to hear, beside our lips sliding together, were the quiet, faded moans coming from the back of Kyo's throat.

When we broke apart, gasping for some much needed air, I placed some light kisses on the underside of his chin. I was being insistent, I know, but damn it he was all I wanted. He was the only person that could make me truly angry, he drove me absolutely insane at times, and his temper was something that made my legendary patience wane.

And yet, he was the one that made me the happiest.

Weird how that one worked out.

His legs were still wrapped tightly around my waist and his hands remained in my hair, keeping us close. For my part, I wasn't letting him go either and instead strengthened my hold on him. I nibbled at his jaw and slowly made my way down to his neck, occasionally flicking out my tongue to taste the tanned skin beneath my lips.

"You know, I've noticed something," he said quietly, his eyes locked on his own legs.

I paused in my trail and pulled back a little to catch the look on his face, "Oh? What might that be?"

"You certainly do like to get... between... my..." he trailed off, looking at me with brows furrowed.

I returned his gaze and raised a brow, honestly, had he not figured it out yet?

I knew the instant he put everything together because his eyes widened impossibly, his face turned a flaming red, and his mouth opened in mortification.

"Oh, _hell_ no!" He yelled, squirming so much that I was forced to take a step back and let him down.

_Oh, _hell_ yes, _my mind supplied as I eyed his flushed cheeks with satisfaction.

"Mind your voice," I offered, letting him detach himself from me and get off the counter.

Thankfully, he reigned his tone into something manageable, "You've got to be kidding me! I'm not – I won't do _that_!"

He was scared, that much was clear and apparently, his mind was much more innocent than my own. I wasn't going to push him or anything, but it was important that he began to wrap his head around the idea of us doing something more than just kissing. The thought of it scared me too, but it also made me excited at the same time.

"Relax," I soothed carefully, "just calm down and think about it. It's not like I'm going to randomly thrust myself upon you when you least expect it."

All the color drained from his face and he took a step toward the door, "Don't say thrust! There will be no thrusting!"

Oops, wrong choice of words on my part, I'd accidentally sent him into a total and complete panic. His hands were balled up into fists at his sides and I'm pretty sure he was shaking, but it was hard to tell because he was walking. I followed him into the living room in the hopes of easing his worries, but a knock on the door promptly stopped both of us. He was the first to act and quickly went to the main hall, flinging the door open when he reached it.

Haru and Momiji stood there and Kyo became monumentally relieved, "Thank gods! By all means, do come in!"

Both of them looked at Kyo like he'd lost his mind and I couldn't really blame them. Though I had to admit that his capacity to avoid the situation between us was astounding.

Haru came up to me looking pleased, "Glad to see you're more like yourself."

Before I could answer, Momiji exclaimed a triumphant, "Yes!"

The little blond then ran off down the hall like he'd just been told that his birthday was the next day.

"Cat, you look like you were just told that you have three minutes to live," Haru noted bluntly.

I had to agree, it certainly did seem that way.

Kyo just shook his head and shrugged jerkily, "Whatever, it's nothing."

Okay, if it were really nothing, he wouldn't be freaking out so much. It's not like I looked him in the eye and said 'Kyo, I want to dominate you.' Though I suppose what I'd really said could be construed that way.

I cleared my throat and asked, "What did you say to get Momiji so excited?"

"I volleyed the lake idea to him," Kyo answered curtly. "He's going to talk to Shigure, Hatori, Kisa and Hiro to see if they want to come."

Haru looked between the Cat and I before nodding decisively, "Lake sounds like a great idea even though it's cold as shit outside. Though I have to wonder where and how the lake idea came about."

"You don't really care, so why does it matter?" Kyo snapped, the epitome of pissed.

That was the way it was the entire time Haru and Momiji were there. Kyo was even more irritable than usual and no matter who was looking, he was always shooting me scathing glares. Of course everyone noticed, but none commented on it, thinking that it was just me and Kyo being... me and Kyo. When Tohru got back, she joined us and instantly fell over herself about the lake idea.

She took over and organized everything, taking charge of the details like she always did. Much to my surprise, it worked out that everyone was free to go up the next morning and spend a couple days there. Momiji was a blur of excitement and though I didn't show it like he did, I felt the same.

How could I not be excited when I'd be at the lake with Kyo?

And apparently, all Tohru had wanted earlier was to see if I was alright. I guess I really had been a mess yesterday and that made me feel incredibly guilty for making them worry like that. We spent the day together, all of us, and actually had a really good time. Kyo continued to send me death glares, but other than that, we didn't get into any real fights. Shigure and Hatori were going to be accompanying us to the lake, I know that only because Hatori had stopped by. It made me nervous when he'd first shown up, but that quickly dissolved when he'd taken Kyo and looked him over. Later, when they'd returned from whatever room they'd disappeared into, I had a hard time hiding my relief that Kyo's checkup had cleared up the fear of internal bleeding.

Thank Kami.

-o-O-o-

Haru, Hatori, and Momiji had stayed late, well past the time dinner had been served. It was nice having them around, but it wasn't exactly difficult to see them go. I had had to stay away from Kyo the entire time and my hands were absolutely itching to reach out to him.

I was obsessed!

So when the others had gone, Kyo had left to take a shower, and Tohru had gone to bed, I went to my room to wait. Shigure had come out of his office a few times and socialized, but he was now busy 'working.' Which could mean he was doing anything, like taking a nap or reading porn.

I smiled when my door opened and Kyo came in, glaring at me when he saw what side of the bed I was on.

"Scoot. Over." He clipped expectantly, practically stomping to my bed.

Alright, I guess he was still mad with me.

Not wanting to press my luck with his mood, I budged over and patted the bed invitingly. He came over and plopped down before crawling his way up onto his side. Yes, I admit, it was _his_ side. There was no one else I would ever let lay there, it – like so many other things – belonged to him alone. And, not going to lie, the sight of him crawling on all fours toward me was totally hot and got me thinking about some less than noble things.

Kyo laid down with a drawn out sigh and immediately pressed his back to the wall, no longer glaring or looking upset. Seeing this, I turned onto my side so I was facing him and kissed his forehead – he always seemed to like that. And this time was no different, he closed his eyes and took a deep, contented breath. Smiling, I took one of his hands and interlocked our fingers before bringing them to my lips so I could place light kisses on his fingertips.

"Why can't I just stay mad at you?" He asked quietly in a broken whisper, giving me a half-hearted glare that didn't last with each finger I kissed.

I smirked and licked the pad of his pointer finger, "Shall I start alphabetically or will any random order do?"

Kyo huffed a laugh and blinked lazily, eyes still on our hands, "You're something else. Sometimes I can't remember what we used to be like before."

"When we used to hate each other," I mused with a frown, laying our linked hands between us.

He squeezed my hand to get my attention and when I looked up he none too gently flicked my forehead with his free hand.

"Don't think about it," Kyo advised with a tentative smile. "It doesn't really matter anymore, does it?"

I easily returned his smile, "No, it doesn't. And while we're on a more serious subject, I should let you know that I think you need to talk to Shishou."

Kyo scoffed loudly, "Not likely."

"Now, why not? You two have been close for years," I shot back, annoyed by the fact that there was something I wasn't getting about the topic.

"I already told you why," he replied, scooting back further against the wall.

"Because of the beads?"

He rolled his eyes, "Very good, glad you remember."

"But Shishou was the one you talked to when you needed to confide in someone, don't you miss being able to do that?"

"We're not having this conversation," Kyo hissed, his temper coloring his words with a harsh edge.

My lips twitched in a sad smile as I burrowed into him, getting used to the quiet grunting noise he made whenever I did something like that. It was like even though he knew it was coming, it still took him by surprise.

"We're going to the lake tomorrow," Kyo stated, looking intently at our hands.

I smiled and kissed his hand to get him to look at me, "Yes, we are."

"Can we –"

"Can we what?" I prompted when he broke off, looking at the pillow and blushing, a thin line of red appearing on his high cheekbones.

He took a shaky breath and refused to look at me, "I was thinking... what if we pretended to be sick so that we wouldn't have to go? It seems like everyone is going to be there and I don't see how we're going to do this," he waved our hands against the mattress quickly, "with all the others around."

My smile vanished and was replaced by a deep frown, why hadn't I thought of that? Out of the two of us, I'm the one that always got the highest marks in school, and yet here he was coming up with things before me. Huh, strange.

"Well," I replied slowly, running my thumb up and down his, "the lake house isn't huge, we could aim to at least be put in the same room. Yeah, and we could have Haru in our room too so as to delude suspicion. That would give Tohru and Kisa, Momiji and Hiro, and Hatori and Shigure their own rooms."

"But Haru –"

"He's the only person I want to tell about us," I interjected, looking up at him to make sure I hadn't gone too far.

A wrinkled line appeared between his brows, but after a moment he replied, "Alright... but in some weird way, I think he already knows."

I huffed a short laugh and nodded, "You know, that wouldn't surprise me one bit. And as long as we make Shigure or someone believe that putting the three of us in the same room was their idea, then I think it's a solid plan."

"It'll be fun," he agreed, sighing contentedly.

"Do you know what else will be fun?"

"Hm?"

I smirked and kissed his cheek before pressing my mouth to his ear whispering, "Seeing the look on your face when we go for a walk and I pin you down in the snow. I'll kiss you slowly at first and continue doing so until your cheeks go red and you can't think straight."

I couldn't see his face, but his hand shook slightly against mine, giving me a large amount of satisfaction. Wanting more, I licked the shell of his ear and smiled when his whole body convulsed.

"Can you imagine that? Feeling my body covering yours, my hands running through your hair as I deepen the kiss until we're both left breathless. To me, that sounds like a lot of fun, what do you think?"

He shook again and swallowed loudly, seeming to have trouble coming up with a reply. I chuckled lowly and backed off, wanting to see the look on his face, but not without first placing another kiss on his cheek. His expression was everything I could have hoped it would be and more, it made me want to kiss him, which I did.

His eyes were wide, stricken with the battling emotional conflicts of panic and to my great pleasure, lust. It was like he didn't exactly know what to think or how to act, so he was just stuck motionless and shocked. Maybe I'd over done it a bit...? Oh well, it was the truth either way, I really did want to do that, possibly more if he'd let me. The dilemma of both of us being boys didn't even register with me, because honestly, I didn't care.

He had a dick and so did I.

We'd figure it out.

"You really want to do that?" He asked finally, his voice a little higher pitched than it normally was.

I put a lingering kiss on his lips and genuinely answered, "Of course I do."

He licked his lips before pulling his bottom one into his mouth and biting it, looking deep in thought. I stayed quiet and let him think, amusing myself with running my thumb along his and watching goosebumps erupt over his arm.

"Okay," Kyo relented, sighing and ducking his head to hide his blush.

"That's good to know, but I would have done it anyway," I teased, using my free hand to flick his forehead.

"Is that all you think about, molesting me?" He asked, his eyes getting even wider – if that was possible.

I smirked devilishly and admitted, "It's been occupying a dangerously large amount of my mind recently."

"Y-yeah, well sleep now you damn Rat," he mumbled, red in the face. "And don't dream about me or I'll know."

"Whatever you say Kyo," I replied, kissing his forehead and effectively calming him.

We fell asleep that night with our hands still clasped together and that was the only part of our bodies that were touching. If possible, I like it just as much as our previous sleeping positions, if only because it was perfect in its innocence.

But had I known that our venture to the lake was going to contain within it an event that would haunt me for years to come, I never, ever would have let us go.

_**Next chapter: Yuki's POV**_

_**This was more of a filler chapter, hope you liked it anyway.**_

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	24. Chapter 24

**_Heh, here's the next chap!_**

**_Updates: Will be irregular because I'm working on some original works. My first novel should be done by the end of this year and it's eating up a good portion of my time especially since college requires a lot of my attention._**

**_Not beta-read. _**

**_ENJOY!  
_**

**CHAPTER 24**

**YUKI:**

"Hey Haru," Kyo called and when the Cow looked over, he was impaled with a well thrown snowball.

"You've got to be kidding me," Haru groused as the melting liquid slowly dripped down his cheek.

We'd just gotten to the lake house and already the beautiful snow had been turned into a weapon of mass destruction. I just shook my head at their childish antics and helped Tohru carry her back to the house. Momiji, Kisa, and Hiro ran ahead, their small duffel bags slung over their shoulders.

Haru and Kyo had dropped their bags and had taken to throwing snowballs at each other, taking shelter behind trees and people when they could. My fingers itched to make a snowball and join them, just to see that incredibly attractive flush color his cheeks. Gods I'm obsessed with him! When he's around I'm practically delirious with happiness and when he isn't around I'm mopey while I yearn for him.

What is my problem? Gods, I'm hopelessly in... wait, in _what_ with him?

Deep down, I think I knew, but I wasn't ready to admit that to myself yet.

"Come along children," Shigure teased, talking to the Cat and Cow. "Let's get inside and open things up."

In response, the Dog was hit with not two, but four snowballs, all thrown in quick succession.

"Oh, I'm so glad we all decided to do this," Tohru said with a bright smile and laugh.

I was happy that she was happy, but if I were being completely honest, I'd say that I'd rather it be just me and Kyo here. Not that I would say that out loud, because I wouldn't, it was just a thought.

A very deranged, perverted thought, I admit.

"Hatoriiiii!" Shigure pouted, taking cover behind his long time friend.

I just rolled my eyes and lead Tohru into the house, glad that Shigure had given the key to one of the kids so we didn't have to wait on him. Pushing my way into the house, I shivered as the cool air hit me. The kids were nowhere to be found so I just assumed that they were off somewhere in the house picking where they wanted to sleep. I set the bags down by the door and went over to the living room to get a fire going. The house was freezing from not being used and there was no way I was going to stay in a place so cold!

The fireplace was easy to find and the wood stacked next to it was even easier to locate. Within a few short minutes, I had a good fire going and was gladly warming my hands against the heated glow. During that time, Tohru had taken her stuff to her room and the kids had appeared clad in their winter clothing.

"Get inside! Get inside right – Hatoriiiiiiii! They hurt me again!"

Hatori appeared through the door and he pointedly closed it, staring at the bolt like he was tempted to lock the others outside.

"You know if you lock them out they're going to get sick and then Shigure will never stop complaining," I voiced, smirking at the truly conflicted look on his face.

After a few more moments of indecision, he finally sighed and went to go put his own stuff away. I stood and stretched, satisfied when some of my joints popped. Grabbing my bag, I ventured down the hall and entered the last room on the left.

Sleeping arrangements had been decided before we'd even arrived which was a total relief. Kyo and I hadn't said anything on the matter, hadn't even pretended to be interested in the topic. It kind of worried me because it really did look like Kyo was disinterested in the matter, but when we'd made eye contact he'd offered a small, wane smile to reassure me.

It had worked out almost too perfectly in the end with me, Kyo, and Haru all in the same room. We hadn't even needed to volley our idea because they'd already pretty much done if for us. Momiji was going to share with Hiro and Tohru would be with Kisa in the adjoining room so all the kids could be together. Kyo and I had protested the arrangement like we would have in the past and after Shigure had told us to get over it, we did. It was sort of funny how easily everyone was fooled, duped into the thinking that Kyo and I really didn't like each other when it was actually the exact opposite.

And despite what I'd told Kyo, I was actually nervous about telling Haru about us. It wasn't so much that I didn't think he'd accept it, it was more that I didn't want him to feel awkward sharing a room with us. We wouldn't do anything while he was in there with us, that would be totally rude, but we'd probably share a bed because I had trouble keeping my hands off Kyo.

Would that make Haru feel left out? I sincerely hope not...

Throwing my bag on the already made bed, I didn't bother unpacking any of it. Walking back out into the hall, I headed for the kitchen to join Hatori. I never got there though, Haru and Kyo burst through the door, each trying to push the other out of the way.

"Close the the door!"

"Hurry up!"

I just stood there watching as the door was slammed and they sprinted past, heading for the room I'd just left. Did I bother following them? No, because my ability to predict their actions paid off when they both came running back out lacking only their duffel bags. They ran by me, heading for the kitchen and I followed slowly wondering what they'd done.

"You killed him, didn't you?" I asked Haru, talking about Shigure, the only person that was unaccounted for.

Hatori grunted, "I just asked and they didn't so I don't really care what they did. He probably deserved it anyway."

"Jeez," Kyo scoffed quietly, "aren't you two supposed to be best friends or something?"

"Only a true best friend could not care the way I do."

Haru and I shared a confused look and I queried, "How does that make sense?"

"When you've been friends with someone for as long as I have, you'll understand."

"I kind of don't want to understand," Haru grumbled.

On a whim, I looked out the window above the sink and couldn't help but laugh. All that could be seen of Shigure was a flailing arm sticking out of a huge pile of snow. The pile was underneath a large tree so I could only guess that something had jarred the Oak and the snow had fallen off the branches to land on an unsuspecting Dog. He was emerging slowly, crawling out of the snow while still flailing his arm about uselessly.

"It was an accident, I swear," Haru whispered, also staring out the window.

I sniggered, "Accident or not, it's brilliant."

We stayed in the kitchen for the next two hours and helped Tohru prepare lunch. The kids were outside playing the in the snow and after a long half hour, Shigure had finally made it inside. Tohru had floundered about, fussing over him like a mother hen would their chicks. The Dog glorified in the attentions and complained more than was necessary just to get Tohru to sympathize for him.

Really it was a good thing Tohru was so attentive because no one else really seemed to care.

After lunch, everyone, even Hatori, geared up and went outside. Tohru took Momiji and the kids ice skating out on the lake because after being checked, the ice was deemed strong enough. It was freezing out, so I wasn't really all that surprised it was solid enough for them. They couldn't go out far, Hatori's orders, so they were safe though I was still nervous for them all.

So, Tohru, Momiji, Kisa, and Hiro went down to the lake and were putting their ice skates on while Hatori and Shigure sat out on the porch like an old married couple. They each had a mug of steaming coffee, only adding to the effect and making it more amusing.

Haru, Kyo, and I were a little ways off from the house, but still close enough that we could see everyone. I think we'd started to go for a walk and then decided against it at the same moment so we weren't really going anywhere anymore. We'd sat down on an old bench and none of us were really sure why it had been placed there or where it had come from.

"I'm bored," Haru whined without actually sounding whiny, something only Haru was capable of.

Kyo huffed and pulled his thick coat closer to his thin body, "Me too, but I'm less annoying about it."

"There's a first," I muttered, receiving a glare and a light shove for the remark.

"We should race," Haru said suddenly, his contemplative gaze fastened on the frozen lake.

"Race?" I prodded, jabbing his shin with my foot.

The Cow nodded toward the lake where some of the others were ice skating, "We should race across the ice."

Kyo jumped to his feet, his eyes bright, "You're on bovine! Dude, yes! The winner will be the one that slides the farthest across the ice."

"You aren't worried about the water?" I asked, putting voice to what I knew Kyo would secretly fret over.

He hated water with a fiery passion and though he tried to hide his discomfort with it, I prided myself in being able to see right through his facade. Who knew just getting to know someone could make me so happy? Life was truly a mystery.

He paused and continued staring at the ice with a quiet gulp, "It'll be fine. If the ice is strong enough for them to skate on then it will be strong enough for us to race on."

"That's some flawless logic right there," Haru concluded, standing up to join Kyo.

Not having any other choice in the matter, I stood up too, ready to take part in their little game. I had to admit, it did sound fun. Crazy, and perhaps a little on the childish side, but fun nonetheless. Haru lead the way to a spot about one hundred meters from a cleared strip of the ice where we wouldn't run into Tohru or the others. Despite it being on the ice, Kyo did seem genuinely excited about it and I couldn't help but share his enthusiasm. Recently, I'd found out as long as Kyo was happy, I was too.

"Alright, let's do this!" The Cat whooped, pumping a fist into the air.

Though Haru didn't show his enthusiasm like Kyo did, I could tell he was excited too just by the sharpness of his eyes.

"We go on the count of three," I offered and we all took our stances. "One... two... three!"

We all took off, sprinting like there was a bear nipping at our heels. It was hard to tell who was in the lead – if any of us were – and when we reached the edge of the ice, each one of us leapt with a huge jump. Our momentum carried us forward and we all landed on our feet, but we definitely didn't stay that way. Instantly our feet flew out from under us and we fell against each other in a mottled heap. There were grunts and yelps of confusion and it was hard to tell who exactly they were coming from – though I'm sure a few came from me. We slid, tumbling and flailing wildly to try and stop ourselves.

When we finally did come to a halt, there was a brief moment of silence before we all burst out laughing. I had no doubt that we were quite the spectacle: Three teens clinging to each other while we flew down the ice.

"I totally won that," Kyo managed through his many huffs of laughter.

"There's no way!" Haru retorted, struggling to prop himself up on his elbows.

Kyo scoffed as we detached ourselves from each other, "Are you kidding? My legs were way out in front of both of you!"

"I demand a rematch," I pushed out, standing on wobbling legs.

The other two stood up also and we had to grab hold of each other every now and again to stop ourselves from falling. We slowly inched our way across the slippery ice and all of us took turns falling on our asses.

"That was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen!" Shigure called from the house where he was sitting with Hatori.

Kyo flicked him off with his middle finger calling, "I doubt you could do any better dumb mutt!"

We got to the bank and retraced our steps to where we'd started from before. Instead of going at the same time, we all went at separate times, going in a random order. Haru won the first two rounds and he and I tied the round after that. Kyo barely managed to win the fourth run and I think that the reason he was having trouble going far was because he didn't weigh very much.

We took about five minute breaks between each run and though both Kyo and Haru said it was so they could catch their breath, I was sure they were just saying that so I wouldn't feel bad. My asthma wasn't the best kept secret in the world and each of them were looking out for me without admitting it. It was kind of frustrating for me though because I didn't want it to slow us down. I was just like everyone else and didn't want to be treated any different, but the fact that they cared did make me feel a little better about it.

"This is harder than it looks," Haru said, doubling over to put his hands on his knees and take a deep breath.

Kyo was having an even harder time catching his breath, "I feel like that lunch is slowing me down."

"You hardly ate anything," I accused, glaring at him.

The idiot hadn't eaten much because he knew I couldn't badger him in front of everyone else. Don't get me wrong, he ate a whole sandwich, but that wasn't enough for someone like him. I'd have to take it up with him later and make sure he stopped being a complete bastard when it came to his health.

"Okay, so I'm winning, that much is clear," Haru intoned, standing up and getting ready to run again.

"Not for long you stupid Cow," the Cat hissed, also getting ready.

Haru stuck his tongue out and Kyo hit his shoulder, successfully managing to get the younger to bite his own tongue. While they were preoccupied, I pushed Kyo, sending him sprawling over Haru as they both fell to the ground.

"You're both going to lose," I teased and quickly ran off when they both looked like they wanted to throttle me.

I could hear them get up and run after me, each of them muttering things pertaining to my demise. I hit the ice and managed to stay on my feet for a total of five seconds before slipping and falling on my hip. It hurt, but it was totally worth it when I looked back to see Haru and Kyo fall and hit their heads together as they went down.

When I came to a stop, their combined momentum kept them going and they slid right past me. Shigure could be heard laughing over on the porch and most of the ones skating had stopped just to laugh. Still chuckling, I pushed myself to my feet and brushed the small traces of snow off. My hip sort of hurt where I'd landed on it, but I'd only have a small bruise and that would go away soon enough.

Then I heard a strange noise that was low and kind of thick, I couldn't quite place it. Looking over to Kyo and Haru, I wasn't surprised to find them still laughing and trying to get up. It was a fail though because their legs kept slipping out from underneath them, sending them plummeting back onto the ice. It didn't help that they were both trying to pull the other down once they'd stood up.

"The ice is breaking loose! It's cracking! Move!" Shigure suddenly yelled, Hatori's hand being the only thing that was holding him back.

I could feel it cracking beneath my feet and panic had me too shocked to move. My legs were trembling, but not from the cold as the noise got louder. It was that same thick, low noise I'd heard only moments before and now it made since. I was going to go down, under water, below the surface... that petrified me. My mind was blank, I couldn't think, couldn't act, I was going down –

But then, just when I thought I would disappear forever, a pair of strong arms wrapped around my middle and threw me off to the side. I hit the ice hard on the same hip I'd hit previously and slid quite a distance away before finally coming to a stop. There was a loud cracking sound followed by a splash and I looked up just in time to see Haru disappearing beneath the water.

Looking around frantically, I felt sick to my stomach when Kyo was nowhere to be found.

Haru's head reappeared, a plume of moisture being shot up when he surfaced. He was only there for a second, coughing and sputtering before he disappeared again. I could vaguely hear Tohru and the kids screaming something off to the side, but I couldn't make it out. My gaze was blurry and I could feel myself freaking out, my blood turning colder than the ice I was laying on.

Hatori appeared with Shigure by his side, both of them carefully edging closer to the break in the ice. Steeling myself, I pulled myself to my feet as quickly as I could. My breath was coming in quick gasps and I was certain that if things didn't change soon, I was going to have the worst asthma attack ever. The two adults were circling the hole, both frantically searching it for any sign of Kyo or Haru. Taking one step at a time, I slowly made my way over, my whole body shaking with raw fear.

How long had they been under?

Days? Months? Years? Seconds?

I didn't know and it was driving me crazy as I neared the edge of the ice hole. I was just inching my way over, eyes glued to the dark, murky depths that had swallowed the other two. Hatori and Shigure were yelling things to each other and Tohru kept the kids back with the help of Momiji.

Some untold amount of time later, I could have yelled in relief when Haru's head popped up with Kyo's right beside his. The trance that had been holding me broke and I was running over as quickly as I could considering the ice. Shigure was helping Kyo and Hatori had a firm hold on Haru's forearm. They were pulled out and laid side by side and as I neared, I noticed that Haru was the only one moving.

I fell a few feet away and slid on my knees the rest of the way, coming to a stop next to Haru. I was right up against Haru's right side and put a hand on his back to help him roll over as he coughed up mouthfuls of water. Kyo was laying on his back while Hatori pushed his head to the side and started pumping his chest. Shigure was yelling something, but the buzzing in my ears was too loud. Haru's jacket felt frozen through and I couldn't even imagine how cold he must have been, how cold both of them were.

Only a few seconds had passed, but it felt like hours and still, Kyo's chest was unmoving.

"Breathe damn you! Fucking breathe already!"

Haru wrapped his arms around me and it was then that I realized that the one screaming had been me.

My body was shaking just as bad as Haru's was and my hands clutched at his clothes, pulling him close. As always, in a time of crisis, Haru was the one that was there for me. I buried my face into his hair and scrunched my eyes shut tight, willing the world to dissolve or fade away.

I was having trouble breathing and my back was beginning to hurt which could only mean one thing. My lungs began to burn and I began to gasp, suddenly not getting enough air. My throat felt like it was on fire and I knew that an asthma attack was inevitable if things didn't change soon.

Then, I heard the most miraculous sound in the world.

My eyes snapped open and I looked up to see Kyo bent over on his side, heaving mouthfuls of water. His body had instinctively scrunched into a ball with his knees to his chest, but he was breathing and that was all that mattered. He tried to speak, but more water came out, spilling over his lightly blue lips. After that he just seemed drained and fell back down, shutting his eyes in his exhaustion. Hatori used his hand to brush Kyo's hair out of his eyes and I could just sit there shaking, unable to do anything else.

"Shigure! Get Haru, we're going inside," Hatori ordered, full of docterly authority.

Without another word, Hatori picked Kyo up bridal style and carefully headed toward the house. The Cat was practically unconscious, his eyes may have been open in slits, but he wasn't really seeing anything. Shigure came over to Haru and since he didn't need to be cared, the Dog just helped him up.

They both had to help me up since I was incapable and my legs weren't listening to me. My lungs still hurt and my throat felt awful, but at least I was breathing again. I had to take countless deep breathes to regulate things better and keep myself under control. Kyo was alive, he was _alive!_

Thank gods.

-o-O-o-

A half hour later and things had finally calmed down, but I was still freaking out. Kyo and Haru had changed and were now sitting on the couch in front of the fire wrapped up in blankets. Kyo had gotten some of his energy back so he wasn't giving off that blank stare, but I was still so, so worried about him.

"Good gods I'm freezing," Haru groused, putting his head on his knees.

"Quit your complaining," Kyo shot back, his teeth still chattering, "I was in that w-water longer than y-you were."

"I'm just glad your both okay," Tohru said, bringing over a tray full of hot tea and hot chocolate.

Kyo groaned and rubbed his temples, "I h-hate water."

Without a word, I walked across the room and sat between Haru and Kyo, grabbing a hot tea on my way. Cold emanated from both of them even through their clothes and that alone made me cold. Momiji threw a couple more dry logs into the fire, showing Hiro and Kisa how to stoke it. I had to concentrate on anything that would keep me from reaching out to Kyo and holding him close in a vise grip.

I was sure he knew I was pissed – among other things – really, how could he not know? What had he been thinking?

That stupid Cat!

What if Hatori hadn't been able to revive him? What if he'd... _died_?

I shook my head, there was no way I could stand thinking about that, not now. He was alive and he was sitting right next to me, I could feel him breathing. The cup of tea was only in my hands to warm my fingers, but I really didn't notice it.

"Both of you, open up," Hatori said, coming over with a couple of thermometers in hand.

"Not again," Haru grumbled halfheartedly.

Kyo didn't even put up a fight and instead just opened his mouth so Hatori could put the glass stick in. I stayed still, purposefully staring at the fire so I wouldn't be tempted to do anything else.

Only a minute later, Hatori looked at the numbers and nodded, "Neither of you have a fever yet, but I still want to keep a close eye on you."

"I'm going to go l-lay down f-for a bi-it," Kyo mumbled, getting up and taking the blanket with him.

I had to wait ten minutes before I could follow him, ten whole minutes. Shigure had gotten sidetracked with Momiji and the kids and Hatori had started a conversation with Tohru about who knew what.

"You go ahead, I'll cover for you," Haru whispered and I hugged him for it.

The instant I felt it was safe enough, I stole away down the hall and didn't even bother knocking before entering the room. I was practically shaking with emotion, still unable to believe that Kyo could be such a stupid idiot! But when I saw him, laying in the bed with his back to the wall, curled up in a ball, all my anger melted away. He looked up at me with bleary eyes and blinked a few times before struggling to sit up.

"H-hey," he said quietly, his teeth still chattering loudly.

I walked across the room and sat on the edge of his bed, looking at him right in the eyes. As usual, it was the eyes that did me in and I wrapped my arms around him to pull him close.

"I should be beating you up for what you did today," I whispered harshly, pulling him closer and kissing his cheek.

His body shivered against mine and he clung to my shirt, burying his face in it. I rubbed my hands along his back in an attempt to warm him, not even realizing that I was shaking too.

Gods, what if I'd lost him?

What if I could never lay with him like this ever again? Never touch him, never see the shifting shades of red in his eyes that changed depending on how he felt, or felt the soft strands of his hair between my fingers?

"I was scared," he murmured back so quietly that I almost missed it.

My mouth pressed against his ear as I asked, "What?"

"T-the ice was b-breaking... and you were – you w-were in the way."

I dropped more kisses all over his face, "You should have just let me fall, I would have been fine."

Kyo deadpanned, "Y-your asthma would h-have been your downf-fall."

Ah, I'd forgotten about that.

"Don't you ever do something like that again," I ordered fiercely, punctuating the point by firmly kissing his lips.

The water had exhausted him and my asthma attack had sapped me of my strength. We were both shaking as we sat there together, him from the cold and me from nerves. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, quivering in my arms.

I'd told myself I'd protect him, that I wouldn't let anything happen to him and I'd failed. He'd almost died today, nearly lost his life trying to save mine and I'd done nothing except fail him. I'd failed the person that meant the most to me in the whole world, what kind of person did that make me? What was I supposed to do if I couldn't even protect him?

Did I even deserve him?

"Will you lay with me?"

His softly spoken request nearly went flying over my head, but by some act of the gods, I'd heard it.

"Of course," I replied quietly, meaning it with all my heart.

He slit his eyes open and the soft, vulnerable shade of red that was revealed was so heartbreakingly beautiful I forgot to breathe. How could I ever deserve someone as pure and amazing as him? He grabbed me and pulled me down with him, surprising me by pushing me toward the one place I'd never thought he'd want me.

Kyo had pushed away from the wall and put me behind him, keeping my arm captive so it was draped over his stomach. He scooched back into me and I nuzzled closer to him, kissing the back of his neck adoringly. We pulled the big comforter over us and we both continued to shiver. I couldn't believe he was doing this... maybe it was because he was too tired to care, but it had my stomach flipping over with a mass amount of butterflies.

"I don't want to lose you," I heard myself whisper, pulling him impossibly closer.

He intertwined his fingers with the hand I had on his stomach and he gave it a squeeze, "What are y-you talk-king ab-bout? I'm right h-here."

He obviously didn't know what I was talking about and really, I didn't know what I was talking about either.

I kissed the back of his neck again, "Just stay."

"O-okay," he answered, raising my hand to his mouth and kissing it gently.

The door open and we both flinched as Haru came in, locking the door behind him.

He took one look at us and scoffed, "I knew it."

Kyo didn't freak out like I thought he would, he actually just scooched back farther even though there was absolutely no space left between us. I could tell he was uncomfortable with having me behind him, but he was putting up with it. It made me care for him all that much more since he was making such an effort to let me in.

"Haru," Kyo said, voice raspy and his teeth still chattering together.

When the other looked over, Kyo used his free hand to pat the empty space of bed. The offer was clear and apparently I wasn't the only one that didn't want Haru to feel left out. Haru came over and laid on his back without hesitation, spreading his blanket over all three of us. I wasn't really surprised that he was so laid back with the whole thing, that was the way Haru was and it was really kind of refreshing.

To anyone else, it probably would have been weird to see three teenage boys sharing a medium sized bed that was built for two, but to us, it didn't seem weird at all. It actually made sense considering that Kyo and Haru had had a near death experience. I was happy to have them both there with me, weird sleeping arrangement or not.

"We're talking about this later, you know that, right?" Haru intoned, snuggling down deeper into the covers.

I felt Kyo nod, but he didn't reply verbally so I was pretty sure Haru didn't see it. Truth be told, I think Kyo was already half asleep, his free hand lightly clutching the sleeve of Haru's shirt.

"Yeah, get some sleep Haru," I said quietly, unable to reach out to him.

Kyo shivered for at least a half hour more before it finally ceased and he was able sleep with ease. I tried to sleep, I really did, but all I kept thinking about was how I'd failed him.

He could have died... and it was my fault.

He was the most incredible person I'd ever met, but... did I really deserve him?

Maybe... maybe he'd be better off without me?

**_Next chapter: Kyo's POV *flails arms* FINALLY!_**

**_Goodbye for now!  
_**

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	25. Chapter 25

**_*points to rating repeatedly* You have been warned._**

**_ENJOY  
_**

**CHAPTER 25**

**KYO:  
**

"Earth to Kyo."

"He's still too cold, don't you think?"

"He's fine, the water just drained him yesterday, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"Haru! That isn't helping!"

"Would you prefer it if I lied to you?"

"In this case, yes!"

It was difficult and I didn't want to, but I forced myself to rouse from sleep. For a little while I'd thought that their voices were just a dream, but there was no way I could dream the feel of gentle fingers brushing my bangs aside or skimming over my cheek. I _was_ cold, but not so freezing that I was shaking like I had been the day before, that had been the absolute worst.

I blinked my eyes open and the first thing I could focus on was Haru. He was laying on his stomach, his arms folded underneath his pillow, and his head turned toward me. I was still laying on my side and I could feel Yuki behind me, how long had we been asleep?

"He's cute when he first wakes up," Haru teased, winking one of his eyes playfully.

I scowled at him and buried my face into my pillow, successfully hiding myself. I'd only just woken up and already he was being a jerk. Wait a second...

Whipping my head back around to face him I sputtered, "Hold up, what are you even doing over here?"

He rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his hand with a small laugh, "You don't remember? You're the one who invited me to this bed, stupid."

"I did what? There's no way!"

Yuki didn't put up with the pleasantries, "How are you feeling Kyo?"

I looked over my shoulder at him, "Fine, I guess."

He nodded and without another word, got out of bed leaving me feeling cold and missing him. That had... not been what I was expecting. Not at all. I'm not a Yuki genius or anything, but I guess I'd been expecting something different than that. It was like he was giving me the cold shoulder all over again.

"Come on guys," Yuki said with a small smile, "let's go get some breakfast. I'm sure Hatori wants to get a good look at you both."

What the...?

He was acting like Yuki... but he wasn't _Yuki._ What the fuck is going on? It wasn't like when he'd gotten back from the main house, he didn't have a mask up, he was just being... weird.

Haru rolled out of bed and I had a terrible time trying to disentangle myself from the damn covers. How had I gotten so thoroughly caught in them anyway? I'd hardly moved over the night because Yuki had been holding me. Now I was really proud of myself for that one, getting over my fear and letting him close in that way.

It was Haru who helped me get out of bed and I playfully pushed him away when he offered me an arm to escort me out of the room. Yuki just rolled his eyes at us and led the way out into the hall. Hatori practically jumped us and though he bypassed me to get to Haru first, it still felt nice that he cared.

Haru was cleared quickly and then Hatori was shoving a thermometer into my mouth and checking me over. I was poked and prodded for a little while and I put on a good show of annoyance during the whole thing. I tried looking to others for help, but they just smirked and laughed, especially the kids. Even Kisa laughed at me! So, I came to the conclusion that kids are shallow little bastards. They think you're the greatest when you have something to offer them, but when you don't, they turn their back on you!

"You're both looking good, but if you feel off at all, let me know right away," Hatori said, finishing with my inspection.

Tohru made us pancakes and we all went to the table where everything had already been setup. Momiji brought over the syrup, butter, and peanut butter, the blond always ready to do what Tohru asked of him. Haru sat down on my right and Yuki took his usual place across from me. Everyone else just filled in the empty spots as Tohru placed a huge plate of pancakes as the centerpiece.

I waited until everyone was done filling their plates before snagging a single pancake for myself. That water the day before had really fucked me up!

My legs were crossed at the ankle and when I unhooked them to stretch them out, they happened to bump into Yuki's legs. I immediately looked up at him, but he was avoiding my gaze. I thought – since this was _Yuki _I was dealing with – he'd try to play footsie with me or something. But he didn't... he surreptitiously moved his legs back and absolutely refused to look at me. He kept his gaze down as if his food was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen in his life and that just plain pissed me off.

Suddenly, my appetite was thrown out the window and I could only mash the pancake into little bits so that it looked like I'd eaten some of it. All throughout the meal, Yuki continued to ignore me and that just _was not _okay. Getting frustrated, I scooted my chair forward as far as it would go and kicked out with my right leg. I smirked in a smug satisfaction when Yuki startled and hissed when my foot made harsh contact with his shin.

Stupid bastard! Let's see him ignore me now!

"You alright Yuki?" Tohru asked, looking worried.

The Rat looked at her, completely bypassing me, and replied, "Fine, it's nothing."

Oh, so _that's _how it's going to be, is it?

I glared at him for the rest of the meal and indulged myself with a cool glass of milk. My pancake had been reduced to nothing but a gooey mess complete with syrup and butter and I hadn't taken a single bite of it. Tohru, Momiji, Shigure, and the kids had kept conversation going, so my actions were pretty well overlooked. I think Haru had noticed my violence toward the innocent pancake, but he didn't say anything, which was probably for the best. Had he said something to me about it I would have most likely snapped at him and he didn't deserve that.

When the brunch ended, I helped clear the table and Yuki volunteered to do the dishes. That was really surprising since he did that at home a lot, but it seemed to me like he was using it to keep his distance from me. What had I done? I couldn't think of anything that would cause him to be this way toward me... I'd slept in his arms for gods' sake!

Hatori and Shigure went into the sun room for some after brunch coffee while Momiji and the kids went off to play in the living room. To keep an eye on them, Haru and Tohru went in there also and made themselves comfortable on the couch. For my part, I marched myself over to the sink, pretending to drop more dishes in for Yuki to wash.

"Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I hissed quietly in case someone was nearby or in hearing distance.

"Nothing," he replied with a small, totally fake smile.

I glared and felt the beginnings of a cat-growl vibrating in my throat, "I don't believe you."

He continued to feign innocence, "What's there not to believe?"

"You know perfectly well."

"Just go into the living room with the others," Yuki answered, still smiling to look sweet and sincere. "I'll be in when I'm finished."

This was too frustrating... what was I supposed to do? Argue? That wouldn't get us anywhere, we'd proved that on previous occasions. So, I just rolled my eyes, threw my hands up in defeat, and sauntered moodily into the living room.

On my way into the other room though, the beginnings of a plan began to form in the back of my mind. It started out as nothing more than a thing prickling up the edge of my spine, but the more I thought about it – light bulb! – the better it sounded. I couldn't pull it off on my own though, which meant I had to get someone else involved and I knew exactly who to go to.

What I wanted was risky... but if it worked then the benefits would outweigh everything else.

Walking into the living room, I called over to the Cow, "Hey Haru, can I have a word real quick?"

He stood up and strode over to me, leaving Tohru to deal with the younger ones. Surprisingly, they were behaving themselves for her... something they wouldn't do for me even if I begged – which I would never do. I took him over into the farthest corner and made sure no one was paying us any attention. The absolute last thing I needed was someone trying to eavesdrop.

"Okay, could you do me a favor?" I asked, nervous beyond reason and trying not to let it show. "It's for Yuki and I –"

"Silence, the Cow speaks. I say that just so long as it doesn't end with me being covered in powdered sugar or egg yoke, just name it and consider it done," he replied offhandedly.

I smiled in absolute relief and quietly filled him in.

-o-O-o-

"Anyone want to go for a walk?" Momiji asked, already putting on his snow shoes.

Yuki had joined us in the living and the idiot had taken a seat as far away from me as he could possibly get. I know we were still hiding things from everyone, but did he have to be rude about it? I swear, if I tried to move closer, he'd leave the room and that was just ticking me off! I needed fresh air, something to clear my head...

"A walk sounds great you dumb bunny," I said, going for my coat.

Haru looked at me like I was insane, but I ignored it. He had some stuff to do and I needed to get out of the house, it suddenly felt too confining.

"We should all go!" Tohru volleyed, getting up off the couch to get her shoes and snow gear. The kids went to get their stuff too and Tohru looked back at the living room, "Haru, Yuki, you guys want to come? I'd really like it if you did!"

"I think I'll sta –"

"Yuki would love to go," Haru interjected with a smirk. "I, on the other hand, am not feeling well so I'll be staying here with the two old men."

The Rat glared at him, but grudgingly went over to put his snow stuff on. I looked at Haru who gave me a reassuring nod and I just rolled my eyes, following Momiji outside. I shoved my hands deep into my pockets and prepared myself to be ignored by Yuki – which is exactly what happened.

He stayed by Tohru's left side and I walked on her right side while the younger ones ran ahead. Yuki was pleasant to me when he absolutely had to talk to me, but other than that, it was like I didn't exist.

This sucks! If I could shoot out Hellfire through my mouth I'd totally be doing it just to get his attention!

I had been getting so used to pervert Yuki and I was really starting to like that side of him. I was really starting to like every side of him actually... gah! I'm such a complete sap! And the thing is that he wasn't treating me like he wanted nothing to do with me, he was treating me like I was just a friend... I'm not just a friend dammit! Or at least, I don't _want _to be just a friend, I want to be more than that! Much, much more!

"Tohru! Come look at this!" Momiji called, him and the kids crowded around something the rest of us couldn't see.

She left, going ahead and off the path to join them, which had me alone with Yuki. He wasn't looking at me and kept walking, slowly closing the distance between us and the others. I had a split second to make an impromptu decision and in the end, I went for it even though I really hadn't thought it through.

So, I checked to see if anyone was paying attention before grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the woods. Since he and I would both be gone then the others would assume that we'd continued walking or had headed back for some reason. Therefore, they wouldn't look for us, it was perfect! With this in mind, I yanked Yuki through the woods back toward the house and stopped at a place where I was sure no one off the path or on it would see us.

Heh, I'm a genius.

"Kyo... what are you doing?" Yuki asked, sounding tired.

I let go of him and spun around, glaring furiously. Who did he think he was, changing on me again? How many times had he been able to kiss me, but passed it up today? Was it me? Really, had I done something wrong? I can be an idiot and even a jerk sometimes, but I haven't done anything recently... I really haven't! Not to my knowledge anyway...

Did he... did he not care about me anymore? Well, obviously he still cared 'cause he treated me so nice still, but maybe he didn't think he wanted something deeper with me? Well, if that was the case, why couldn't he just say it? Why did he have to string me along without telling me anything?

My glare faded and I was suddenly very cold despite my supposedly warm winter jacket. I – I was crazy about him... but what if he didn't feel the same way? What if he'd just been exploring and decided it wasn't his thing?

Good gods, that hurt like a bitch just to even think about.

Steeling myself, I hissed, "What am_ I_ doing? Let's try what are _you_ doing? You've been acting so weird all fucking day!"

He just shrugged like it was all no big deal, "If you say so."

Oh, that _really_ rankled with me...

"I do say so! Now quit playing dumb! Can't you just be real with me? I told you that if you didn't want me all you'd have to do is _say so_! I won't be put on the back-burner, I don't have the patience or strength for that!"

Yuki sighed and crossed his arms, looking away, "I'm just thinking, okay?"

"Thinking about _what?_" I spat, glaring at him and even though I knew he couldn't see it, he could feel it.

"Just... stuff."

"Oh, that's very specific! Careful you don't throw too much information at me at once or I might explode!"

He finally looked at me and glared, "Cut it out Kyo."

Damn the shiver that went up my spine when he'd said my name...

"Cut what out?" I snarled, voice dripping sarcasm, "I'm not doing anything!"

When I took a step closer, he took a pointed step back, "Just let me think, alright?"

I took another step forward just to piss him off, "What's there to think about? Not second guessing yourself, are you?"

He glared and matched me with a step back, "What? No, I..."

"You what?"

Yuki's glare intensified as he finally snapped, "You could died yesterday Kyo! _Died_! There's no coming back from that! What would I have done then, huh?"

As if I needed reminding, every time I thought about it, it scared me shitless. Hence why I'd carefully kept myself from such thoughts all day. The simple act of him bringing it up got my glare to falter and I was the one to look away this time.

"Better me than you," I mumbled, unable to come up with anything better.

"Stop it," he retorted, raising his voice a little, "don't say that!"

I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair, "This isn't about that. It's about why you've been acting so weird today!"

"Because I don't know what to do," he yelled and came over to me. He cupped my face between his hands and pushed me back until I was pressed against a tree, "Do you have any idea how broken I would be if I lost you? I want so much to take care of you and look after you, protect you, but you almost died! I couldn't do anything about it! I could just sit there on the ice and wait, unsure if I'd ever get to talk to you again, see those eyes, or just be able to spend time with you!"

Now, what the hell was I supposed to say to that? The only thing I could come up with was 'I don't know' and that answer just simply wasn't good enough. My heart was too busy thundering in my chest to give me anything better and my mind was far too foggy. Did he really mean that... that he wanted to protect me? Me... I'm the Cat... protected by the Rat... what the fuck? No one had ever... not even... he wanted to look after me?

"I didn't die Yuki," I said quietly, letting my arms gently wrap around his waist to keep him close. "I'm right here and I – I want those things for you too. Why else do you think I pushed you out of the way?"

His hands slid past my face and laced together on the back of my neck as he gave me a hug. It was perhaps the most innocent hug I'd ever been given. He wasn't crushing me to him, he just... well, he just hugged me, plain and simple and perfect. We stayed like that, not moving, and only the rustle of the wind hitting some naked branches broke the quiet. Well, that and our breathes that came out in small white plumes.

Light bulb!

Oh, yes, I had another brilliant, brilliant idea! He'd been so busy avoiding me all day while I'd been so busy pining for him all day that this new idea just spawned out of fuckin' nowhere!

Getting him to pull back a little, I tilted my head slightly to the left and asked, "Do you ever go back on promises?"

His brows furrowed in confusion, "No, why?"

"Because I'm positive you made a pretty vivid promise to me before we came up here," I replied, smirking when the realization dawned on him.

Mischief entered his unique eyes as he answered silkily, "I did, didn't I? Well, it would be a shame if I passed up the opportunity, wouldn't it?"

Then, he kissed me. It wasn't harsh or crushing, but sweet and needy. I could easily tell through that kiss how hard it had been for him to stay away from me and that felt pretty damn good to know.

My legs – which were suddenly shaking from something other than the cold – gave out as the kiss deepened and we slid down to the ground at the base of the tree. I didn't fight it, it was what I wanted after all. I still didn't fight it when he slid us to the side so that I was laying in a pile of snow and he was positioned above me.

It turned out that the snow was actually pretty comfortable, not that it really mattered since Yuki was on top of me. Just like he'd promised, he kissed me slowly at first, but that didn't last long. How could it have if we were both craving each other so much? His hands worked into my hair and pulled, forcing my head to tilt back so his tongue could delve even deeper into my mouth.

I'm not push-over though, I gave as good as I got. I pushed my hands underneath his jacket and dug my nails into his shirt as I fought him for dominance. It only vaguely clicked that he was straddling my waist instead of forcing his way between my legs like he normally did.

The sound of crunching snow got us both to break apart and my stomach plummeted – this was it... we'd been caught.

"Please, don't stop on my account. It's actually kinda hot," Haru said with an even tone and a straight face.

"Sorry," Yuki replied with a smirk, "but I don't share."

I just stayed quiet, my face heating in complete mortification as Haru went on, "Well come on dumb and dumber, it's time to go back to the house."

I pushed Yuki off and he quickly stood, looking totally amused... not to mention hot with his slightly kiss-swollen lips and eyes glazed with pure want.

"We have a lot to talk about, you know that, right?" Yuki asked quietly, extending a hand to help me up.

I nodded and absently brushed snow off him then myself after I was standing, "Yeah, I'm well aware."

"Good, let's go."

We followed Haru back to the house and I didn't even bother asking him how he'd found us. He was _Haru, _I don't think he knows how he knows even half the shit he does, the freak.

"The car is out front and our stuff is already loaded," Haru explained, confusing the shit out of Yuki. "All we have to do is say goodbye to everyone and we're outta here."

"Kyo," the Rat said slowly, "what's going on?"

I gave him a shit-eating grin and replied, "Well, Haru and I had a big scare yesterday and we feel uncomfortable staying. You want to go back to keep an eye on Haru because you're worried and everyone else already have tickets to see a movie tonight which means there would be no one to take us home. So, Haru called a cab to take us back and Shigure is going to sell or give away our extra tickets at the theater tonight. I don't think I left anything out."

"Nope, you remembered it all," Haru replied from where he walked in front of us.

Yuki blinked and looked at me, "This was your idea, wasn't it?"

I shrugged nonchalantly and followed Haru into the house with Yuki filing in behind me. Tohru and the younger kids weren't back from their walk yet – thank gods – so all we had to do was say goodbye to Shigure and Hatori. They were reluctant to let us go and repeatedly told us to call if we needed anything, but eventually, they waved us off with a blessing.

Yuki and I got into the back of the cab and I was surprised when Haru got in the front seat. I don't think anyone else noticed, and if they did, they didn't say anything. The partition between the front and back was really small so we could hardly even see Haru or the driver. There would have been plenty of room for Haru to join us in the back, maybe it would have been slightly squished, but not in a totally uncomfortable sort of way.

Our trip started out well enough, though Yuki's fingers intertwined with my own was sort of the only thing I could focus on. He was looking out the window on his side and I had pretty well zoned out by staring out my window. Haru had turned on some music and though it wasn't loud, it was exactly quiet either. I didn't recognize any of the artists and most of the songs were older, unfamiliar ones, so I didn't really pay attention to it.

It was when we were about halfway back that things started to change a little.

The Rat suddenly laughed quietly and leaned in close so I could hear him over the music, "It's hard for them to see us back here."

With that, he backed me up against the door and kissed me. There were no niceties, going straight to a passionate clash of tongues and teeth. Not that I minded really, quite the opposite actually.

"We should be talking," I murmured only to go back to kissing him when he pressed insistently against my mouth.

"Talk later," was the only thing Yuki was able to get out.

Oh gods, Yuki and I were making out in a cab... what the hell is wrong with me? What happened to my digression? Or my shame, where did that go? Right out the fucking window, that's where. Yuki really was an awful influence on me, but I didn't care, I was enjoying it too much to care.

And I couldn't... he couldn't get close enough. Sitting next to each other with both of our bodies facing forward, it just wasn't letting him get as close as I wanted him to. So, to rectify the problem, I turned myself and pushed him away so I could sit with my back against the door and my legs sprawled on the seat. While I did that, I got to witness the incredibly sexy scene of Yuki shrugging out of his winter coat and letting it fall forgotten to the floor.

Grabbing his shirt, I hauled him over and smashed our mouths together again. Then he did something that I absolutely had not been expecting. Without breaking the kiss, he raised himself up higher and straddled me. The new position brought us much closer, so close that our chests were pressed firmly together. His hands went through my hair, down my neck, over my shoulders, and eventually pushed my coat back. I gratefully shrugged out of it and during all this time, our lips hadn't broken apart once.

The cabbie was _hot, _I could hardly breath! Of course, that could have been because my mouth was full of Yuki's tongue... but that's beside the point. My body was usually warm, but now I felt like the whole world was just on fire. And the hardest part about the whole thing was trying to keep quiet and not make any noise. Yes, there was music, but quite honestly... it wasn't nearly loud enough to drown me out so I had to be careful.

My pants felt incredibly tight... hadn't they just been loose and hanging off my hips? I was afraid to move my lower body because quite frankly, that area didn't need any more stimulation. It was almost painful and a large part of me wanted to move my hips up to knock into his, but I refrained. Allow me to reiterate... I _barely_ refrained.

All too soon, the car came to a jarring halt and we sprang apart as if electrocuted.

Turning down the music, the cab driver announced, "We're here."

How the fuck...? Surely he was bluffing... the trip couldn't have gone by _that _fast, it was impossible! However, the look of panic in Yuki's eyes proved me otherwise as he suddenly disentangled himself from me. We both put our coats back on – even though it was _so_ fucking _hot_ – and got out of the car. The driver got out and popped the trunk for us to get to our luggage.

"Huh, that's strange... the windows don't normally get foggy like that," the cabbie driver said, confused. "Oh well, sorry about that boys."

Haru smirked knowingly at us and replied, "No need to apologize to them, it's not _your _fault the windows are covered in condensation."

"Thank you for driving us," I said hastily before grabbing my bag and heading toward the house.

Yuki was right on my heels after snagging his own bag as he added, "We really appreciate it, have a wonderful day!"

The driver looked at us like we were nuts, but by that point we'd reached the blessed sanctuary of the house. We flew up the stairs and threw our bags into our respective rooms, all without looking at each other. Could that have gotten anymore embarrassing? Stupid, personality-challenged Cow! Yuki and I edged our way back to the stairs and slowly descended, awaiting Haru's arrival. While we waited, we took off our coats and hung them in the closet by the door.

When Haru appeared, he looked at us and just smirked, "Have a nice ride over?"

I shot into the kitchen and opened the fridge to distract myself with the milk. Yuki could deal with Haru, those two had known each other longer anyway. I could hear them talking out in the hall, but I paid them no mind. I really needed to calm the fuck down, if I had to adjust my pants one more time to accommodate my problem I was going to lose it!

So, I sat on the counter in the kitchen and drank milk while thinking of things like Shigure in a dress. And suddenly, my hard-on wasn't a problem anymore. When I could distract myself no longer – and didn't _need_ to distract myself – I went back out only to see Haru hanging up the phone of all things. Yuki was sitting on the stairs, leaning back and watching the Cow with an abject curiosity.

"Alright, I'm going out with some friends. I'll be back in a few hours, don't wait up," Haru called, heading out the door.

What the...?

Haru was leaving... Yuki and I would be alone... totally alone.

Now, I hadn't been expecting this one, but dammit if I wasn't going to use it to my advantage. Yuki and I did have a lot of things to talk about, we honestly did, but sometimes, actions speak louder than words. So, instead of talking about some things, I'd just show him what I meant. I'd recently come to the decision that I wanted him and only him, now it was just a matter of getting him to _believe_ it.

I was shaking and so incredibly nervous as I grabbed his hand and pulled him up so I could drag him up the stairs. I wanted us to be somewhere comfortable, somewhere familiar, mainly to make things easier, especially on myself.

"Kyo, what's going on? You alright?"

Tugging him into my room, I pushed him against the door until it closed and locked it so we wouldn't be disturbed. Not that I thought we would be, there wasn't anyone around to do so, but I didn't want to take any chances. I put each of my hands on either side of his waist and leaned toward him, but that was where I paused. The sun was still up, but my drapes were thick enough that only a weak glow managed to sneak in to cast a soft orange glow to the room.

"Kyo?" He queried in a quiet tone, raising a hand and gently sifting his fingers through my hair.

I could do this... I wanted to, so I could do it. It had always been Yuki initiating things and though I whined a lot, I didn't really mind it. Did he know that though?

"I'm not going to freak out... if you touch me, you know."

For a fraction of moment he looked extremely confused and I considered elaborating myself, but then, it clicked. I could see it as the realization dawned on him and the whole thing, it just... _clicked_. His amethyst eyes widened a little and his normally indifferent composure broke apart to reveal pools of sheer want. Before I could say or do anything, he grabbed my hips and slowly turned me around.

I didn't get what he was doing and though my first reaction was to resist, I forced myself to hold still for him. I hate having my back to people, I mean, I _hate _it, but I could do it for Yuki. Just so long as it was only him, I could do it, even if it was against my better nature to do so.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close until his chest was pressed firmly against my back. Yuki was testing me, I'm sure, checking to see if I was really serious by seeing if I'd pull away from him when I felt cornered. So, I steeled myself and held completely still, even managing to talk myself into leaning back into him a little. It was just like out on the porch when it had first started snowing only this time, he _knew _how much having him there bothered me.

Yuki needed to know without a shadow of a doubt that I trusted him. I didn't want him to doubt himself when it came to me, I wanted him to feel comfortable. I bowed my head when I felt his breath and lips skate over the nape of my neck and the tremor that shook my body had nothing to do with there being no heat in my room.

Wait, was it cold in the room? I honestly couldn't tell, not with the way my body was heating up, responding to every breath he took. His thumbs had curled around the waistline of my pants near the top of each of my thighs and unlike when he'd done it out on the porch, it didn't make me uncomfortable. I actually liked it... his nearness, the cool ghost of his breath, everything.

There was something I needed to tell him too... something I'd refrained from for a long time now.

"Hey, Yuki?"

He shifted so that his chin was resting lightly on my right shoulder, "Yeah?"

I answered quickly so I wouldn't back out at the last second like I had a tendency to do at times, "Do you remember that very first time you kissed me out on the porch when I'd finally turned human again?"

"I would hardly call that a kiss... it was more like holding my lips up to a wooden board," he huffed, disgruntled.

"Do you know why I ran away later when you'd come to find me on the roof?"

I felt him shake his head against my shoulder, "Sorry Kyo, but I don't understand half the things you do. I want to, but it's hard, you make it hard."

Guilt stabbed me in the gut and I gently laid my hands over his to give them a squeeze, "I know... sorry. If it helps, I don't really understand myself sometimes..."

"Why did you run?" He asked quietly, turning his head so he could run his nose along my cheek.

"Scared mostly, but more afraid of the idea of wanting you than anything else. We couldn't stand each other and now I can hardly recall what it would be like to not have you around. The thing is... I think I knew that day, when you first kissed me, that I wanted you and

that scared me."

He _hmm_-ed quietly, the noise going straight to my groin of all places, "And how do you feel now?"

"Yuki, we just got hot and heavy in the back of _cab_, how do you think I feel?"

"So then this won't bother you?" He asked, unhooking his thumbs and teasing my shirt up a little.

My whole body shook as the tips of his cool fingers skimmed over one jutting hip bone and then the other. It took some effort, but I held still for him, even as his hands went up my shirt, lightly exploring my stomach. So much of me wanted to shift uncomfortably even though I wasn't uncomfortable, this was just... new. It was so new that it kind of really freaked me out, but I was going to get over it.

I _had_ to get over it, for his sake as well as for my own. I don't know when I began harboring such a skittishness toward physical contact, but I needed to get the fuck over it. I wanted to, it wasn't just a matter of having to, I genuinely _wanted_ to.

Shaking my head I whispered honestly, "No."

His hands continued to rove over my stomach, but didn't go higher than my elbows. My mind was in such shambles that it couldn't decide if I should shake under the touch or moan quietly because of the attention... I ended up doing both.

"If that doesn't bother you, then this shouldn't either," he said in a hushed voice against my ear as his teeth lightly grazed my earlobe.

I had no idea what he meant by that and at the moment I really didn't care. His voice had been so husky and so deliciously sexy that any thought I could have possibly had was smashed repeatedly with a metaphorical hammer. But then, at the very edge of my consciousness, I became aware of the path his hands were taking.

They were going down.

Not to my waistline down, but _all the way_ down South.

Before I knew it or had fully been able to register it, his hands had worked themselves past the trim of my pants – but not my boxers – and were resting on my thighs. I was really beginning to have a hard time holding still, but I forced myself to even though my nerves felt like they were going to explode. There was only the thin cloth of my boxers separating his hands from my flesh and good gods, my legs were shaking... or was my whole body shaking? I honestly couldn't tell.

All the blood in my body had been pooling in my groin for some time now and suddenly, the problem I'd been having in the cab was now ten times worse. I couldn't recall ever having an erection that felt so painfully achy and needy before.

Yuki's hands began moving inward and I moaned loudly, leaning my head back against his shoulder, "Yuki – wait –"

"Shh, it's okay," he soothed, his right hand grabbing my boxer covered cock. He then used his left hand to push my hips back as he thrust his hips forward. When he did that, I became hyper aware of a hard line pressing against my backside, "See? Me too... you do this to me."

Fuck... just, fuck...

His right hand moved and my train of thought exploded, everything became sensation as a strained groan gurgled up my throat.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you sound like this?" Yuki breathed into my ear, tongue snaking out to lick the cartilage.

Psht, better question: does he have any idea how much of an affect he has on me?

Grabbing his wrists, I pulled his hands out of my pants so I could turn around to face him. I didn't just turn around though, I pushed him up against the wall and worked one of my legs between his. Curling my fingers onto his hips, I ground him down on my leg, applying pressure to his groin. He tossed his arms around my neck to support himself and bit down on my shoulder to muffle his hoarse cry.

Then, Yuki's mouth was fervently searching for mine and I was all too happy to oblige. This kiss was sloppy and messy, his nails digging in hard enough to hurt. I repeated the same grinding action, only this time, I applied more force with my leg.

"Hah –" he cried, breaking the kiss and latching onto my neck. "K-Kami –"

Yuki nipped a hot trail from my ear down to my collarbone and when he reached that point, he suddenly kicked off the wall, launching us both toward the bed. He walked me backward until the back of my knees hit the bed frame and we both fell. Naturally, he landed on top me and I was too blinded by lust to care that he had wormed his way between my legs like usual. Our hips aligned themselves like they were pieces of a puzzle and when he ground himself down, I swear my world really did explode.

"Alright?" He asked breathlessly and I could only grunt a faint affirmation as my head fell back and my back arched up off the bed to press flush against his.

Gods, was this supposed to feel so damn _good_?

I was an absolute mess, making noises that I didn't even know I _could _make. He had me completely in his power and he didn't even know it as he ground down against me again. The friction of my cock rubbing against my boxers felt so good that it almost hurt. Yuki leaned over me and kissed me – _hard_ – his eyes glazed with lust. His hair was tousled and his cheeks were flushed and if he was so undone, then I was probably worse off.

He leaned down and we kissed again, our tongues meeting messily outside our mouths. The next time he pressed down, my hands cupped his ass and forced him down even harder. My legs had wrapped around him on their own accord and the tight coiling in my gut was rapidly getting tighter.

We continued to rut against each other, drowning in mutual pleasure as we did. I swallowed moan after delicious moan coming from him and kneaded his backside with my fingers. As we got closer to the point where neither of us could last any longer, our long kiss was forced to break. We were both gasping for air as our hips moved seamlessly together, pressing and grinding, searing even through our clothes.

"Kyo, I'm – haa!"

Just the sound of my name rolling off his lips in such a lusty stupor, I lost it. I'm pretty sure I managed a hoarse scream of his name as I came, but I was so far gone that I didn't know for certain. My world became nothing but a kaleidoscope of colors and my climax tore through my whole body.

I had no idea how long we laid there, and quite frankly, I didn't care. Each one of my nerve endings were thrumming with the aftershocks of pleasure. I was only vaguely aware when Yuki lazily rolled off me, but remained close enough that our bodies were still touching. Forcing myself to move, I ignored the stickiness of my boxers, and scooted over so I could press my face into the crook of his neck. He didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around me and I gladly threw an arm over his stomach.

"You certainly do like to cuddle," Yuki voiced when we'd both managed to calm down, obviously teasing me, but sounding affectionate about it.

"Shut up," I huffed, hitting his arm and threatening to move.

He hastily grabbed me and kissed my temple, "No, no, don't go, I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything by it, you're my favorite snuggle buddy."

My nose twisted up into a grimace, "Snuggle buddy? Did you seriously just say that Yuki?"

"Why yes Kyo, I did. Would you prefer rut buddy?"

I could feel my face turn bright red, "Snuggle buddy it is then."

Yuki took a deep breath and I could almost hear the smirk in his voice when he said, "We should probably take a shower and clean up."

"When you say we –"

"I mean us take a shower together, yes," he cut in and I _know_ he was smirking when he'd said that.

Shower... that meant no clothes... _naked_. Oh, Hell...

I continued to use his neck as a hiding place as I reminded him, "We still have a lot to talk about, remember?"

He shifted to kiss my forehead – the action calming me a bit, "Of course I remember, but we can talk _after_ a nice shower."

And what the fuck was I supposed to say to that?

"Come on," Yuki pressed in a soft, convincing voice. "I don't know about you, but wearing soiled boxers isn't exactly the most comfortable thing in the world."

I gulped and nodded against his neck, "Shower it is then."

"Oh, and one more thing?"

His airy tone got me to raise my head and look at him, "Yeah?"

"I get to undress you."

Well... _shit_.

**_Next chapter: Yuki's POV._**

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	26. Chapter 26

_**Eh-heh. Here! *scuttles off***_

_**Not beta read so ignore errors.  
**_

**CHAPTER TWENTY SIX**

**YUKI**

Kyo was taking his sweet time joining me in the bathroom. He'd gone to his room to grab some fresh clothes... yeah, that was five minutes ago. I was just about ready to go looking for him when he pushed his way through the door, a towel and a bundle of clothes clutched close to his chest. He looked wary, apprehensive even, but more composed than I'd expected.

"Did you get lost?" I teased.

"No... but I did manage to break my closet door," he said quietly, the right side of his mouth twitching up into a smile.

"You? Break something? How unlike you..."

He rolled his eyes, relaxing a bit. "Very funny."

I took the bundle from him and he immediately crossed his arms. "So, what did the big bad closet do to deserve to be broken?"

"It wouldn't open," he grumbled.

I stepped closer and ran my hands over his shoulders, following them down his arms and gently goading him to uncross them. Kyo narrowed his eyes, but slowly let me nudge my way into his arms where I kissed him soundly on the mouth. There were very few places I feel safe in the world, but when Kyo wrapped his arms around me, putting his hands on my lower back, I felt like nothing could get to me.

His lips slid against mine smoothly and I threaded my fingers into the soft hair on the back of his neck. The tense set of his shoulders relaxed and the pads of his fingers began kneading into my back as we continued to kiss languidly. I can safely say that having the house to just the two of us was one of the greatest blessings ever. Not having to worry about anyone walking in on us was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Skimming my palms over his shoulders and down his chest, I raised his shirt enough to expose a small strip of his flat stomach. When he didn't pull away, I eased the shirt up higher until it bunched above his navel. I could tell the moment he realized what I was doing because he abruptly broke away from the kiss and dug his nails sharply into my back.

We were both panting and I waited, watching him carefully. His eyes were closed and hidden behind his bangs. When it didn't look like he was going to do anything, I raised his shirt higher then stopped, waiting. Slowly, he released his hold on me and raised his arms, stomach shaking from more than just his quick breaths.

I raised his shirt up higher, then pulled it over his head. The blush that ran over his chest, up his neck, and into his cheeks was fascinating and I thoroughly enjoyed following it with my tongue. His hands fell to his sides and I openly stared, admiring the tanned tone of his skin. He was by no means unblemished, there were scars – pale, raised marks – scattered over his sides, stomach, and I'm assuming his back. He was thin too, but not to the point where he looked sickly. His nipples were dark and, at the moment, pert.

In my eyes, he was perfect, not in spite of his imperfections, but because of them.

"You're so skinny, Kyo," I lamented, gently running my fingers along his visible ribcage.

Kyo shuddered under my touch, but said nothing. He opened his eyes and glared at me, but when I ran my thumb over his nipple, that glare quickly vanished to be replaced by a more dazed look.

Kissing him, I said against his lips, "You never told me why you did this to yourself."

"I-it's hard to explain."

"I'll bet it is, but you're going to have to try for me."

He grunted and kissed me, running his tongue through my mouth and successfully distracting me from anything I was about to ask or say to him. When he pulled away panting, I put out our foreheads together and regained my own breath. Kyo's eyes were open in small slits, his pupils so dilated that the red of his irises was hard to see.

"Put your tongue back in my mouth," I demanded with a coy smile, nipping at his lower lip.

Kyo stared at me, eyes wide and he seemed frozen in place. I chuckled and kissed him instead, snaking my tongue into his mouth and running it over his. I could feel the heat of his skin through my shirt and it suddenly occurred to me, why was I still wearing the thing?

Breaking away from his addicting mouth, I practically tore my shirt off. Without really thinking about it, I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him to me so I could continue kissing him. He hissed when our warm bare chests came together and I moaned just before the kiss became hungrier and more demanding.

Kyo consumed me, his mouth devouring mine as our tongues clashed and lips meshed. He was so passionate, that inner fire of his coming to the fore in these moments where he let himself go. His hands explored the expanse of my back, lingering and trailing over the curve of my spine. I coasted my own hands down his chest and my heart skipped a beat when I reached his pants.

He broke apart from me, paling considerably and pressing himself harder into the wall. I dipped my fingers below the waistline of his pants and licked my way to his ear in one broad stroke of my tongue. The guttural moan that came from him went straight to my cock. I had no idea I could get so hard so fast after a spectacular orgasm.

"I want to feel your body against mine," I whispered, sucking his earlobe into my mouth. "And surely your boxers are uncomfortable by now. Those pants look terribly tight as well, I know mine are." It was hard to tell if the noise Kyo made was a quiet whimper or moan, but I liked it whatever it was. Taking his hands, I put them on the front of my own pants, right on the button. "Would it help if I let you take off mine first?"

Kyo hid his face in my neck and his hands shook a little, but he undid the button and pulled the zipper down with frustrating slowness. I was glad he was hiding his face, because then he couldn't see the raging blush that heated up my face. For all my confident words and bluster, I was just as nervous as him, the only difference being that I'm better at hiding it.

Without a word, I copied his movements, popping the button of his pants and pulling down the zipper with equal reserve. We stood still for a moment and I quite honestly didn't know what to do next. Suddenly, Kyo bit down on my neck and twisted his hips with enough force to get his pants to fall to his ankles. With a gracefulness that I'd previously thought him incapable of, he stepped out the pants and simultaneously pushed my down with his hands, all the while biting along my neck.

My mouth opened his a strangled cry when he reached my collarbone and teased the flesh by biting it then soothing it over with his tongue. I ran my hands up his chest then over his sides and down his back, stopping only when my fingers reached fabric. He felt so good pressed up against me, so right, I wanted all of his body lined up with mine. It was that single desire that gave me the courage to pull down his boxers. He made an indignant squawking noise against my neck and I could actually _feel _him blushing.

I huffed and took off my own boxers before I could fully think about what I was doing. I kicked them off along with my pants and grabbed his hips, pulling him to me with perhaps a little too much force. Our groins pressed together, his cock just as hard as my own. I wanted to study him the way I had his chest, but honestly, I was much too nervous.

So, instead, I decided to go by touch and sensation rather than sight to start off with. Kyo panted into my neck, once more hiding his face, but not trying to move away from me or my embrace. His hands were on my sides, lightly holding me in place and it was through those hands that I could feel him shaking. I myself was plagued by tremors, my thought process shot with his slick erection against mine. I'd never imagined being this intimate with someone could feel this incredibly good.

Emboldened, I ran my hands down his back and continued going lower until my fingers were tracing the cleft of his ass. He trembled and sank his nails into my skin hard enough to sting, but I didn't stop. Following the trim line of his hips with my right hand, I slid it between us and lightly ran my fingers over his velvety soft cock.

Kyo twitched and moaned quietly, his legs beginning to shake more noticeably. He began biting along my neck and my body stiffened in response as precome dripped more freely from my straining erection.

Slowly, I wrapped my fingers around the base of his cock and squeezed just enough to cause him to buck his hips. With a strangled whimper, he continued to nip at my neck and pushed one of his hands between us. He grabbed my cock and gave it a firm stroke, making me groan.

After that, we moved our hands in earnest and with more confidence. His hand was so warm and his callouses were a welcome added friction. I used my thumb to run it over the head and he mirrored my movements, but he dug his nail into my leaking slit. I moaned and tightened my grip, blissfully aware of the white hot vice steadily coming undone in the pit of my stomach.

"Hng – Yuki," Kyo moaned, his hips starting to grind with mine as we fell into an erratic rhythm.

I used my left hand to pull on his hair and raise his head so I could kiss him. I plunged my tongue into his mouth and swallowed his hoarse half scream as his cock pulsed and he emptied himself into my hand. With only a couple more strokes of his hand, I climaxed, breaking away from his mouth to say a gargled version of his name. We stood for a few moments after that, catching our breath. His forehead rested against my shoulder and I could feel more than see the sweat that had gathered there.

"Should probably start the shower," I panted, reaching blindly out for the knobs.

I kept him close to me as I adjusted the water, well aware of the way we were both trembling. When the water was warm enough, I turned to him and forced my own nervousness away. Gently, I nudged his head up, looked him right in the eyes, and kissed him firmly.

"You're beautiful," I said immediately after, putting voice to the very thing I'd been thinking the whole time.

Kyo blushed profusely and pulled me into the shower with him. His cheeks had an adorable flush to them and his eyes were glazed with post coital lethargy. The water was welcome as it washed away sweat and essence.

I watched Kyo use the bar of soap on himself, rubbing his body with it in small circular motions. My eyes followed his happy trail down to the very appendage I'd so recently been fisting. I really did think he was beautiful.

When he was done with the soap, he offered it to me and I took it, but put it aside. He raised a brow at me, but I just smiled and picked up the shampoo. Putting some in my hand, I ran my fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp lightly with my nails as I shampooed. Smirking, I pushed his hair upward, forming it into a sudsy mohawk.

"That's a good look for you," I said, nearly choking on the laugh that threatened to come up.

He glared and grabbed the shampoo bottle off the small shower shelf. He put some in his palm and thoroughly washed my hair. I sighed happily and turned around, tipping my head back so he could get the lower part of my scalp. When he turned me back to face him, he used the suds to mold my hair into two spikes on either side of my head.

Kyo stepped back to admire his work and I raised a brow. "Well? Is it my style?"

He laughed and shook his head. "No! Not even close! You look ridiculous!"

I smiled and stepped back under the spray to wash the shampoo out. Kyo pressed up next to me to rinse his own hair out and I rubbed against him simply to feel his slick skin on mine.

Kyo got out first and grabbed his stuff saying, "I'll meet you in your room."

I wasn't sure why he suddenly felt the need to leave when we both had our clothes, but I didn't question him. I got out and dried off and put my pajamas on. It was a simple pair of long pants and a loose white T-shirt.

I entered my room and found Kyo already there, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at the ground.

"Yuki, what the hell are we doing?" Kyo asked, shoulders slumped.

"We're doing what we want."

He shook his head and wouldn't look at me. "Akito –"

"Isn't here," I finished firmly.

"I know that, but if he ever found out... he'd never let us be together."

Something cold and jagged lodged itself in the pit of my stomach. "I'm aware that his reaction will be less than favorable. But, what are you suggesting?"

Kyo ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I don't know! I keep getting so caught up with you that I forget about the outside world! Akito could call for you any second now for no reason at all and even the thought of that makes me sick! And if he ever found out... Kami, I can't even imagine his fury."

I bit my lip, goosebumps rising along my flesh. I knew where Kyo was coming from. I myself couldn't even begin to describe how scared and lost I'd be if Akito called for him again. I'd been worried the last time, but now that Kyo was more or less mine, him going to Akito was unthinkable.

"Then don't think about it," I suggested quietly, knowing that that wasn't a plausible course of action.

As expected, he shook his head. "We can't ignore reality. If we do, it'll be even more devastating when Akito calls for one of us."

I went to him and dropped to one knee between his legs. Cupping his face, I gently forced him to look at me and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Listen to me, everything's going to be all right."

Kyo reached forward and ran the back of his fingers against my cheek in such a tender manner that my body shook. "You don't know that and neither do I."

"But I'm prepared to face whatever comes our way. Are you?"

He threw his arms up and stood, beginning to pace. "Of course I am! But there are some things neither of us can fight!"

I swiftly pulled him into my arms and whispered into his ear, "That doesn't mean we can't try. I'll fight for you, Kyo. I'll always fight for you."

He trembled and clutched the back of my shirt, pulling me so close I almost couldn't breathe and I didn't care. At the moment, something like air didn't seem all that important. It was just us and I let him know that by lightly kissing his neck and hugging him back just as fiercely.

Oh, yes, I'd definitely fight for him. I may not know much about what was going on, but I did know that I wanted him. Not just as a sexual partner, but as a friend, companion, someone I could talk to about anything. I could be myself with him and he wouldn't spurn me for it or turn me away. He was _my _Kyo and I wanted more than anything to be _his _Yuki, if he'd have me.

"I'm going to run to my room real quick," he said, pulling back, cheeks flushed and eyes extremely bright. He kissed me murmuring, "I'll be right back."

He left and I scooted myself to sit down in the middle of the bed. I had no doubt in my mind he'd hurry back and I wasn't disappointed when he appeared less than a minute later. He walked in and, after closing the door behind him, slowed his pace.

"What?" I asked when Kyo chuckled to himself.

"Nothing. I just couldn't help remembering when I was stuck as a cat. Your lap was really comfortable then."

"Just because your not in cat form doesn't mean my lap still won't be comfortable," I quipped, winking at him.

He froze for just a moment, seeming to weigh things in his head. Then, he crawled onto the bed and curled up next to me, his head in my lap.

"Do you know how my mom died?" he asked suddenly.

I shook my head, feeling guilty for not knowing. "All I know is that she died. I was too absorbed in my own little Yuki bubble to hear about why."

"Well," Kyo sighed, "she didn't just randomly die, she killed herself. Jumped out in front of a train, actually, and that's why I don't like them."

"I... had no idea."

"I used to be petrified of telling you or saying it out loud, but you know, I'm not all that bothered by it anymore."

"Why would you ever be reluctant to tell me something like that?" I asked, staring down at him.

He blinked back up at me and sighed. "I don't know. Back then Akito had told me that she'd rather kill herself than be my mother and I believed him."

I gave him a hard look. "You should never believe anything he says."

"_Now_ I know that, but back then, I was so young and no one else was talking to me. All I had was Akito until Shishou came along."

"Speaking of Shishou, you've got to start talking to him again."

I could feel Kyo bristle in my arms as he said firmly, "Maybe, but not just yet."

"He was only trying to help, you know."

"Yeah, I know, but he didn't have to do it the way he did. I mean, I trusted him more than anyone, how am I supposed to trust him like that again after what he did?"

The brought me up short and I shrugged. "That's between you and him. But if you need me, I'll be there."

"What do you think Tohru will do if she finds out about us?"

"Probably do her best not to freak out. She really likes both of us, you know?"

Kyo nodded into my stomach. "Yeah, but honestly, what kind of relationship could we ever have had with her? She can't even give us a hug without us going _poof _and turning into our Zodiacs."

I chuckled bitterly. "Indeed, ours is an inconvenient existence."

"Well... yours is a _little _convenient because you're the Rat. Me? Not so much."

"Kyo, you should know by now that it doesn't matter to me what Zodiac you are. What animal you change into doesn't change the person you are."

He shut his eyes and his face turned bright red.

"Kyo?" I prodded when he still hadn't said anything.

His eyes opened and betrayed so much raw emotion, I felt like I was drowning in red.

"Thanks." Was all he said, but his eyes expressed so much more than that. Within those shimmering pools I found just how grateful he really was. I saw how much he cared for me, appreciated me, adored me. I'd never felt so... cherished before.

I wanted to kiss him and he must have had the same thought because he leaned up just as I bent down. When our lips met, he sighed like it was something he'd been waiting his whole life for.

And it was then that I admitted to myself that I was hopelessly falling in love with him.

There was a loud knock on the door and we both jumped apart so fast we ended up hitting our heads together. How that worked out, I'm not really sure.

Neither of us said anything and he was as frozen as I was when the door started to open. My whole body sagged with relief when Haru walked in looking smug and self satisfied. Kyo's relief was palpable as well as he slumped down on the right side of the bed breathing a huge sigh.

"If anyone asks, I was here all evening," Haru said casually.

"Hatsuharu," I deadpanned, "what have you done?"

Kyo just laughed and sprawled himself out, very much like a lazy cat. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's epic."

"Epic as fuck," Haru agreed with a wink and a half smile. His expression quickly turned feral. "That's a nice hickey you've got, by the way."

"It is, isn't it?" Kyo replied without missing a beat. "Jealous?"

Before Haru could answer, I cut in with, "I'm sure I'm worse off. The Cat's very much a biter, go figure."

Kyo nudged me roughly and glared just as Haru asked, "Anyone up for a late night snack?"

My stomach snarled at the same time Kyo's did and that was answer enough.

-o-O-o-

Kyo, Haru, and I were set up in my room. Kyo was laying on his stomach, taking residence on the right side by the wall, as usual. Haru was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the bed while nursing a drink that happened to be a concoction of his own design.

Needless to say, I wasn't really all that interested in knowing its contents. In fact, I wasn't interested in much of anything because I was in the most comfortable position of all. I was curled up on my right side with my head using Kyo's gloriously warm back as the best pillow in all the world. He'd been laying on his side originally, but after some persistent nudging on my part, I finally got him to oblige the way I wanted him to.

The room was silent as I was tired, Haru was... Haru, and the Cat was enthralled with something on his laptop. With a contented sigh, I closed my eyes only to be disturbed by Kyo's body shaking with a small tremor.

"Last time I checked Cat, pillows typically don't move."

He made no response and his back continued to shake with a different convulsion. Opening my eyes, I found he was trying to stifle laughter. This just wouldn't due, I like his laugh. So, I poked him in the side, smiling when I got the desired yelping effect.

"What's so funny then?" I asked, my smile turning sheepish when he looked over his shoulder and glared at me.

Turning back to his computer he replied, "Listen to this, 'Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a seventeen year old girl. Fuck my life.'"

Haru let out a snort of laughter exclaiming, "Ohhh, that sucks!"

I couldn't hold back my laugh either, and for once, I didn't want to. The mask I normally put up always seemed to be torn down whenever Kyo was with me and Haru was like a brother, I couldn't hide from him.

"Got any more," I asked, snuggling closer to his back, heart close to bursting that I could do such a thing with Kyo.

I could almost hear the smirk in his voice as he answered, "Tch, of course I do. 'Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. Fuck my life.'"

We burst out laughing, how could we not?

"Oh wait, wait listen to this one, 'Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded, "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. Fuck my life.'"

I found myself burying my face in Kyo's back, trying to stifle my laughter. Suddenly, Kyo stopped laughing and his body tensed up, a sure sign that something had disturbed him. Turning my head, which happened to fit perfectly in the graceful curve of his back, I poked his side again.

"What's wrong?"

He huffed and glanced at me, eyes troubled. "I don't like this next one."

Haru immediately scoffed, "Suck it up and let's hear it."

"'Today, I called my mother who was vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I'd told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me was if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favorite cat had drowned in the pool. Fuck my life.'"

"Trust a cat to drown in a pool," Haru chortled.

I took pity on Kyo and lifted my head so I could slip one of my hands beneath his shirt. His skin was so deliciously warm and soft that I actually enjoyed lightly running my nails along the small of his back. Goosebumps erupted all over his body and his breath hitched which only managed to give me courage from his positive reaction. Lifting his shirt up a little, I turned my head and lightly kissed the tawny skin.

"It's okay Kyo, I wouldn't let you drown," I whispered against the smooth skin beneath my lips.

His breath hitched again and was followed by a shudder that went through his whole body. I would never get tired of his reactions, his sensitive body was oh so wonderfully responsive to me. Pulling his shirt down again, I removed my hand and rested my head against that very convenient slope of his back.

"H-how 'bout this one," he began, his voice starting out shaky, but getting stronger as he talked. "'Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?" I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said, "Lip wax?" Fuck my life.'"

When we'd finished laughing, Haru stood up and stretched. "Yeah, well fuck _my _life, I'm out of beverage. I'm going to go get some more, you guys need anything while I'm down there?"

"Nah, I'm good," Kyo intoned, continuing to surf the web.

I shook my head and before Haru left, he looked to Kyo and back to me before waggling his brow suggestively. I rolled my eyes as the Cow closed the door with an overdone flourish, all this going unnoticed by the oblivious Cat.

Kyo shut down the computer and had me move so he could set it on the nightstand. After he'd finished settling himself on the right side of the bed, I laid down next to him feeling nearly crushed by the weight of fatigue. We didn't say anything, merely rested next to each other and we both startled when Haru returned.

"Can we sleep now?" Kyo asked, eyelids drooping.

"Sleep sounds good," Haru said, sprawling out on the bed on my other side – after setting his drink next to Kyo's computer on the nightstand.

Kyo scooted back against the wall, giving me and Haru more room. I settled on my back, smiling when Kyo took my arm and curled along my side. Haru turned off the light and pressed his back to me, quickly settling down.

"Night," Kyo mumbled, already half asleep.

Haru grunted and I kissed Kyo's temple, ready for some much needed sleep.

-o-O-o-

I awoke feeling that something was off. I kept my eyes closed and just listened, trying to pick out what was so wrong. Kyo was sleeping soundly on my arm, Haru's breaths were deep and even, indicating that he was also asleep. Then there was me between them, the only one away, and being half laid on by Kyo. All seemed well and fine, so why then, was I awake?

But then I heard it: the soft wisp of clothing and the creak of the floor as someone took a step closer.

My eyes flew open and I craned my head up, careful not to jostle my bed mates.

What I found was Ayame staring back at me, his mouth opened slightly in surprise and his eyes wide. I'd never seen that particular look on his face before and that was enough to scare the living shit out of me.

"Yuki... what have you done?"

**_Next chapter from Kyo's POV._**

**_More coming soon ^_^  
_**


	27. Chapter 27

_**Well, it would appear that I'm not dead yet. **_

_**Not beta-read. Ignore errors.**_

**CHAPTER SEVENTY SEVEN**

**KYO**

Why was it that every time I felt like I was getting an exceptionally good night's sleep I get woken up for the most random of all reasons?

I couldn't honestly say what woke me this time, but when I opened my eyes, I found Yuki staring toward the door like he'd never seen it before. I raised my head just a little to look over my shoulder and saw Ayame standing there with his mouth open in a most unintelligent expression. I yawned and laid back down, determined to go back to sleep. I'd been having such a nice dream, too. Not that I could really remember it, I still knew it was nice.

Wait a second...

I sat up so fast I became lightheaded. "Ayame? What the fuck are you doing here?"

_POOF!_

Ayame vanished in a cloud of smoke and his empty clothes fell uselessly to the floor. I looked at Yuki, Yuki looked back at me, and Haru just kept sleeping, oblivious to the world – lucky Cow. The covers at the end of the bed rustled and I watched in horror as Snake Ayame's head poked out from the small space between me and Yuki.

I caterwauled and threw myself backward toward the wall, scooting as far away from Ayame as I could get. In the past, whenever Ayame showed up, I would get this weird sense of triumph or glee knowing that Yuki would suffer from the encounter. But that feeling never lasted long because I'd grown to despise Ayame's presence almost as much as Yuki. It wasn't so much that Ayame was a bad person, it was more like he was too eccentric and... deranged for any given situation.

"You're both so _warm_," Ayame hissed, changing his direction to start coiling around my right leg. "Kyo! I had no idea your blood runs hotter than everyone elses!"

I flailed and pressed my back harder into the wall, hoping it would see fit to swallow me up and save me. No such luck, though.

Thankfully, Yuki grabbed him around his neck – the area just below his head – and yanked him off me before throwing him bodily across the room. Ayame collided with the far wall, creating an almost satisfying _thunk _noise upon impact.

"Yukiiiiii," he cried, "why must you always be so mean to me?"

Yuki glared at him, face a mask of cold rage. "What did you expect when you come crawling, uninvited, into my bed?"

"But Yuki! I'm your brother!"

"Why are you all being so _loud_?" Haru groused, still half asleep, into his pillow without opening his eyes.

"Because there's a snake in my room," Yuki replied vehemently.

Haru blinked his eyes open and sat up slowly. He scanned the room and when his eyes alighted on the aforementioned snake, he said, "Oh, hey Ayame." Then he laid back down and shut his eyes like he had every intention of going back to sleep.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I demanded after rediscovering my voice.

Ayame coiled himself into a ball and his tongue flicked out almost mockingly. "Hatori called and advised me to check up on you boys. And I'm so glad I did! My own little brother is growing up and exploring his sexuality! Haru, I get. But Kyo! I had no idea you were so scandalous!"

"For the record," Haru said without moving, "I really have no part in this. Those two are the ones who have the hots for each other."

_POOF!_

A human Ayame appeared – his privates thankfully covered by the resulting smoke – and he was grinning, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "This is a dream come true! I'm so happy for you, Yuki! I thought for sure you'd condemned yourself to a life of celibacy!"

I threw a pillow that nailed Ayame in the face just as Yuki snapped, "Put your clothes on! Kami! No person should ever have to say that to their own brother."

Ayame did as he was asked while continuously sputtering a stream of nonsense. I tried to tune him out, but it became hard to do when he sprawled himself out on the end of the bed, still chattering about the wonders of sexuality and fornication and exploring. There was no speaking while Ayame rattled on, so I just sat there, mortified, until he finally ran out of breath.

"You can't tell anyone about this," Yuki warned, eyes hard.

Ayame looked distraught. "But Yuki! There's nothing to be ashamed of! It's a wonderful thing to have found a partner!"

I glared at him, easily mustering heat enough to melt an ice cube. "Do you honestly think Akito would think so?"

He stared at me, something sad working its way onto his face. The emotion was well hidden, but I saw it during the fleeting moment it was there – probably because I was so used to reading Yuki when he had a mask up.

Against my will, my glare subsided a bit. For the first time, I was looking at a different side of Ayame. He'd been in Akito's favor for as long as I could remember and I'd always resented him for that. But looking at him now, it was like I was seeing a side of him that no one was meant to see. Ayame had always been about as unsubtle as a firework, but maybe there was a reason for that... Or maybe I was reading too much into the whole goddamn thing and I needed to mind my own fucking business.

His smile came back and my question went ignored. "Why, Kyo, I had no idea you were so sexy when you get mad!"

My jaw went slack and I gaped at him, stuck somewhere between immense surprise and murderous embarrassment.

Haru – previously believed to be asleep – flew up into a sitting position. He was looking at Ayame and for a moment I thought he was going to rip the Snake a new one for me. That was until he said, "I know, right? Who knew!"

I was going to kill them both. Their deaths would be slow and painful ones.

As if sensing this, fate decided to shit on me and make the situation worse. Outside, a car could be heard making its way up the drive, the cautious acceleration indicative of Hatori's careful steering. It was almost ten and they were already back. Why must fate be so goddamn cruel? Seriously, what had I ever done to merit such supreme bullshit?

Ayame, however, became ecstatic and flaunted over to the window like he was Juliet on her balcony. No person should ever be so unearthly happy as Ayame was in that moment. Then again, Ayame always had been one for theatrics.

"Remember your promise," Yuki warned darkly just as Ayame was about to speed from the room.

"Of course my dear brother! Fear not!"

With that, he was gone and I took the opportunity to steal away to my room to change. I barely payed any attention to what I threw on, my mind too busy tracking what was going on outside. As far as I could tell, Ayame was waiting by the front door while Hatori parked. I was so anxious as I stumbled from my room, still struggling into my shirt, and began making my way down the stairs. Car doors slammed shut and voices filtered through the door while Ayame stood there, bouncing on the balls of his feet like some child waiting to be given candy.

When the door opened, the atmosphere itself changed and that... confused me. The change was subtle, but there, and it just wasn't what I'd been expecting. It was always hearts and hugs when it came to Ayame and Shigure, but I noticed something new this time. The air became electric with something, some undefinable thing that seemed to charge the world itself.

"Ayame!" Shigure yelled, tackling the Snake with an exuberant hug that was equally returned. "It's so good to see you!"

Even though Ayame wasn't looking my way, I still glared at him. He had animalistic senses just like the rest of us so I was sure he could probably pick up on killer intent when it was directed at him.

"It's been forever, hasn't it?"

When Hatori walked in, he received the same greeting Shigure had and the same change I'd noticed with Shigure happened. Maybe it had always been there, but I'd just never noticed it? Or maybe it was just Ayame. Regardless, I was actually surprised he was still with us, I'd assumed he'd have gone back to the main house to check on Akito by now. Guess not. Not that I minded, of course.

Momiji, Hiro, and Kisa came in together and Ayame greeted them with hugs that were slightly less enthusiastic and strangely enough, that little spark thing didn't happen. The air had gone back to being stagnant like it usually was. Weird.

Tohru was the last to walk inside and Ayame gushed over her, asking her so many questions in succession that she really had no hope to answer them all. He probably would have continued to grill her had the floor not begun to shake and some objects on the walls start to rattle. The first thing that came to mind was earthquake, but something about that didn't add up. Reverberations from the floor shook up my legs, then it reached my core and I knew exactly what the source was.

Kagura.

The realization was just a second too late because by then I was being pulled into a forceful, crushing body bind.

"Kyo!"

"Get away from me!" I yelled, attempting to make a break for it. Her grip only tightened and my lungs screamed for air. "I mean it! Let go!"

Seriously, where the fuck had she even come from?

She swung me around yelling, "Kyo! Why didn't you contact me! Damn you! I've missed you so much! I love you and you thank me by making me worried sick?" I raised my arms to cover my face as I was suddenly being barraged by harsh punches. Then it all stopped and she was leaning over me – because I'd somehow ended up on the ground – her gray eyes large and worried. "Oh, Kyo! Are you all right? Who would do such a thing to you?"

"_You _did it you crazy psychopath!" I hollered, attempting to crawl away while keeping my back to the ground.

Kagura grabbed the front of my shirt – a blue hoodie – and lifted me bodily off the ground. There was a manic spark in her eyes as she called in a demonic voice, "I would never do that to you, my love!"

And that was how I ended up breaking the living room door – she'd hurled me through it. Hiro actually clapped and called for an encore, the asshole.

"Kyo, why are you always involved in some way when it comes to the destruction of my house?" Shigure asked while I tried valiantly to get my world to stop spinning.

"Oh, let's leave them to have fun," Ayame said and I could just see him ushering Hatori and Shigure away from the corner of my vision. "We have so much to catch up on!"

I slowly stood up and mentally checked myself for injuries. The others left in the hall dispersed, maybe heading to the kitchen for all I knew, and things became quiet. But I wasn't alone, Kagura hadn't left me. I could feel her staring at me from across the room and it was incredibly disconcerting.

"_What?_" I snapped when I could no longer stand it.

Without a word, she walked up to me and gave me a gentle hug, the first one from her I could remember that wasn't bone crushing or done for some hidden perverted agenda.

"I'm sorry, Kyo. I'm just so relieved, that's all. I was scared I'd never see you again."

I sighed and hugged her back knowing that if I didn't I'd feel terrible and she would probably hurt me. "I will never understand you."

"You don't need to."

She paused and I let her stay close to me as long as she wanted to. Kagura wasn't a bad person by any means, her feelings were just misguided and often turned into something destructive. It wasn't necessarily her fault that she'd turned out that way either. There were a lot of exterior factors that went into her behavior, Akito being the biggest one. Having Kagura be confined to the main house had not been in her best interest and ultimately, that was what had corrupted her.

However, her obsession with me was something I could never understand. At first I'd thought it was a roundabout way of getting back at Akito, but that didn't make sense either. If she were trying to get Akito's attention, she would have gotten it already.

A few years ago, when I'd been summoned to the main house, Hatori had greeted and escorted me to Akito's chambers. Akito had let me sit there for two hours before gracing me with his presence and he said nothing to me before hitting me on the head hard enough to draw blood. I didn't question it at the time and I still won't because there probably wasn't a reason behind it.

When he was finished with me, he called for a damp towel to wipe my blood off his hands. Kagura had been the one to deliver the small white towel with cherry blossoms embroidered in one of the corners – why I remembered such a inane detail, I have no idea – and she ignored me. She'd glanced at me once, face blank, then left when Akito dismissed her. If her affection for me were a way to get back at Akito, she would have said or done something.

But she didn't.

Kagura was more than a little unorthodox, but she was a friend – in her own special way. That was why I stood there and let her hug me. She cared for me so much, I felt I owed her something.

As my mind drifted, I decided then and there that it was worse when people cared because then you had to worry about disappointing them. If no one cared about you, what expectations did you have to live up to? You couldn't hurt anyone if they didn't care, either. Then again, if no one cared about you, it would be terrible lonely. Shishou had always been the one person I knew who cared about me for sure and, for the longest time, he'd been enough. But now I craved more and I was slowly damning myself by doing so. Self-sabotage at its finest.

The prolonged hug made me uncomfortable, but I held still despite my natural instincts to pull away. Really, it had only lasted maybe a little over a minute so far, but it was driving me insane regardless. Yuki was the only one who could hug me for as long as he wanted. For some reason, he didn't make my skin crawl. Come to think of it, I wasn't sure if I'd ever been repulsed by Yuki touching me, even when we were fighting.

As if summoned by my thoughts, Yuki walked through the door and stopped short, blinking. His face betrayed nothing and when I tried to push Kagura away, she clung to me harder, refusing to go. I locked gazes with Yuki and tried to convey through the look that I'd _much_ rather be with him than Kagura.

"We're on our own for brunch," Yuki said, managing to startle Kagura enough for me to slip out of her grasp. "Tohru is going to prepare a large dinner for us so I suggest you save your appetite."

I made a show of rolling my eyes and said something derogatory to go with it. Kagura believed it just as she was meant to and proceeded to yank me out of the room to go who knew where. As we passed Yuki, his hand surreptitiously caught mine and the world seemed to freeze. We didn't make eye contact as a small slip of paper was pressed into my palm, the transfer taking only but a second.

Then, just like that, Yuki was being left behind as Kagura continued yanking me down the hall with ungodly force. I took that opportunity to glance at the note in my hand and felt my heart flutter when I read:

_My room at 3_

I grinned to myself and crumpled the small sheet, stomach a cage of butterflies. Kagura violently tugged me into the kitchen where everyone else was. I covertly threw the ball of paper away without anyone noticing and continued smiling to myself.

However, my excitement and euphoria came crashing down when I saw it was only eleven.

-o-O-o-

I was at my wit's end. If it wasn't Kagura bothering me then it was Hiro and Momiji trying to start something. The little shits were trying to get on my very last nerve and they were doing one hell of a job of it. My only silver lining was that three was rapidly approaching, though it sure felt like it was taking its sweet time.

At two fifty-five, I started the elaborate process of disappearing into the woods, returning to the house undetected, climbing my way to the roof, getting into my room, and crossing over into Yuki's without making a sound. I managed it without much of a problem, though I was always on the alert for a certain Boar Zodiac who couldn't seem to get enough of me for reasons I couldn't fathom.

I was alone for only a few minutes before Yuki walked in and closed the door behind him. Before he'd even gotten the door shut all the way, I'd launched myself at him, eager to be near him again. I didn't kiss him, just hugged him and was gratified when he returned the gesture with an enthusiasm that matched my own.

"Hi," I said against his neck.

He kissed my temple and replied, "Glad to see you're still in one piece."

"More or less. It bothers me when there are so many people in the house at once. Especially when Kagura is one of those people."

He _hmm_-ed and pulled away, redirecting us to the bed – after locking the door, of course. He sat down and had me sit between his legs. There was a certain purpose to his movements, an underlining excitement that had me going along with what he wanted without question.

When he'd settled, I leaned back against his chest feeling more at ease than I had all day. "Okay, you've got me here, now what? By the way, what have you been doing all day? I've hardly seen you."

"Tohru had to go to the grocery to get enough food for everyone, so I went with her to help," he said, snagging the computer off his nightstand.

He put the laptop on my thighs and opened a search engine. I leaned more heavily against him feeling comfortable and safe. Without anyone around, the atmosphere was casual with no tension. There was probably all kinds of things going on downstairs, but I didn't care – none of that mattered. It was just me and Yuki now – the way I personally preferred it as of late.

But then I saw what Yuki was looking up.

"Yuki! No! There's no way I'm reading this!"

"Why not? We need to know what we're doing so we don't hurt each other, right?"

"W-well, yeah, but – but c-can't we just, um –"

"Just what?"

"I don't know!"

I was absolutely mortified. Using Google, he'd opened a browser page that was basically a _How To_ for male on male sex. I couldn't read it, I couldn't even look at the computer I was so embarrassed. I didn't know which was worse, having Ayame around or being subject to what Yuki was putting me through.

"Hm, maybe reading isn't the best idea," Yuki said after a few moments and I sagged against him in relief.

But that relief was short lived.

He went back to Google and typed a different phrase into the search engine. At first, what he was doing didn't register. I could just stare, dumbfounded, my jaw going slack. Yuki clicked on a couple links before finding one he must have deemed suitable because he gently pushed a headphone into my right ear. The matching one went into Yuki's left ear and, with one more click of the mouse pad, we were watching porn video.

It literally didn't occur to me to react until two men – a buff blond and brunet – appeared on the screen and began making out. Some things just take you so thoroughly by surprise that you forget you have the ability to move. That was what happened to me.

"Yuki! What the fu –"

He slapped a hand over my mouth and used his other hand to keep my head facing the computer. It crossed my mind to bite him, but something stopped me. It wasn't anything he did that got me to stop struggling. I mean, if I wanted to, I could have bucked my hips and knocked the whole computer to the floor.

Obviously, I didn't do that. Why? Because, damn it all, the noises filtering in through the ear piece were terribly distracting. The sound of lips smacking together, low moans that often changed in frequency and length, the rustle of fabric against fabric and skin against skin; it made my head a little fuzzy and I wasn't even looking at the screen yet.

When I stopped struggling, Yuki's hands fell away and lightly wrapped around my stomach while he rested his chin on my shoulder. And as much as I wanted to bury myself alive under the covers, I found myself slowly slitting my eyes open instead. The two men on the screen had lost their shirts and the blond was gradually pushing the brunette's pants down. I wanted to look away, I _told _myself to avert my eyes... but I couldn't.

It was a short clip, only about three minutes long, so it kind of skipped forward. One second they're relatively clothed and slowly removing the articles, the next they're completely naked and rutting against each other. Behind me, Yuki's breaths had become shorter. He wasn't panting, just breathing a little faster than normal. And since his arms were still wrapped around my stomach, he knew that my respiration was quicker than usual as well.

The scene blinked out and changed again, the camera showing a closeup of the blond fingering the brunet, a tube of lube discarded off to the side, its cap still open. My head was filled with their moans and I felt sort of feverish sitting there watching something I really had no business seeing.

My mouth went dry as the scene changed once more, this time skipping ahead to the two having sex. The brunet had his legs up, wrapped around the blonde's waist, and they were going at it hot and heavy. Their moans and groans were louder, drowning out my own thoughts – well, what little, incoherent thoughts I'd been having. My mind was officially blown to shit.

The clip skipped once more, this time to the end. Or, I assumed it was the end because both the guys were sweatier and _louder._ The brunet was thrashing, canting his hips with each thrust the blond gave and making lewd noises each time. The blonde's pace had sped up, going from slow and leisurely to fast and powerful. It was almost more than I could take as I began to squirm a little, held in place only by Yuki's hold on me.

The brunette's body stiffened and contorted, his eyes screwed shut. The blonde's pace became frantic, his thrusts wild and all his muscles visible beneath his Mediterranean skin. One of them made a long gurgled noise that could have been a name as one or both of them reached climax and that was where the screen went blank. The noises stopped, some images of suggested videos came up, and I was beside myself.

Hitting the ESCAPE button, I shut the computer screen, and pushed it off my lap to the far side of the bed. Yuki's arms remained steadfast around my stomach and that was really the only thing keeping me from freaking out.

"Yes, that was _much_ better than reading," Yuki said, voice light with amusement and some kind of satisfaction.

I froze and looked over my shoulder to find a small smile on his face, his expression confirming what I'd heard in his voice. However, what his tone didn't covey was the modest dusting of red in his cheeks – the only evidence of his estranged sense of embarrassment. I knew my own face was probably bright red since I was humiliated beyond words, but by that point, I really didn't care.

"There was no reason for us to watch that."

His smile turned coy. "Of course there was. And don't act like you didn't enjoy it."

"I will admit to no such thing you bastard!"

"You really haven't noticed, have you?" Yuki asked, his right brow raising enough to create a look of amused disbelief.

"Noticed... what?"

Without a word, he moved his hands to my hips and pressed me back as he ground himself forward. I gasped as the hard length of him could be felt against my backside, even through both our clothes.

His right hand slid down between my legs and cupped my groin. I wanted to snap at him for it, but the only thing that came out of my mouth was a grunted groan. I really hadn't even noticed how hard I was until he'd touched me.

"When I saw you and Kagura earlier," he whispered, leaning forward so his lips brushed the shell of my ear. "I didn't like that. I hated seeing you with her."

One day my feline curiosity would be my undoing, but, hopefully, that wouldn't be today as I whispered back, "Then do something about it."

As expected, his eyes lit with challenge and he threw me down on my back. His body quickly covered my own and his tongue was soon thrust into my mouth. I greedily reciprocated and adorned his mouth with tiny nips to his addictive lips.

"I can't believe you just made me watch that," I gasped as his mouth detached from mine and found its way to my neck.

I could feel him smile against my skin. "I didn't _make _you do anything." I grunted then moaned when his hips ground roughly into mine. "But I may have had something to do with your current... state."

"You have everything to do with it," I huffed, sinking my hands into his hair and dragging his mouth back up to mine.

This – being with Yuki – was so much better than watching porn. Yuki was real, as were his responses when I ran one of my hands down his back and dug my nails into his scalp. The small noises he made while we kissed had a profound effect on me, more so than whoever the hell those guys were in the video.

I bucked my hips into his and he pressed himself down, tongue delving deeper into my mouth. I was quickly losing myself to the delicious friction of his clothed erection dragging over mine. I never wanted this moment to end and yet, at the same time, I was becoming desperate for the release of the burning knot building in my gut. I wanted to go further, though. Wanted to touch him, not his clothes, but _him. _I wanted to feel the length of his cock in the casement of my hand or the weight of it on my tongue. I wanted to push the bounds of our physical relationship to something new simply because I wanted to know all of Yuki inside and out.

"KYOOOO! Where are you my love?"

We both froze and pulled apart, staring at each other in horror. He pushed himself off me and helped me to my feet as Kagura's footsteps could be heard tromping up the stairs. I knew as well as Yuki did that she would check every room in pursuit of me, regardless of which room it was.

"Run," he said, kissing me firmly on the mouth. "Run while you can and I promise I'll ravage you properly tonight."

Goddamn Kagura to hell for interrupting. I was so worked up and walking off my arousal didn't sound too terribly fun. But I knew, as much as we both hated it, that I had to go. With one last kiss, I made my escape through the window, careful not to leave tracks in the snow.

-o-O-o-

At five, we were all in the kitchen having dinner. After I'd fled Yuki's room, I'd helped Tohru set the table and make the food. That gave me a legit excuse to keep away from Kagura – who tried to help once she'd found out what I was doing. It felt good talking to Tohru, I felt like it had been too long since I'd gotten to speak to her. Kagura got in the way more than anything, but overall, it went rather smoothly.

It was during this time with all of us sitting at the table that my instincts told me something was off. It was nothing big, just a gentle buzz at the back of my mind suggesting I pay attention. The problem was that I didn't know what I was looking for. Yuki was fine and dandy, I'd already made sure of that. Kagura, annoying as ever. Momiji, yammering on and on and on about nothing. Hiro, silent. Kisa, also silent. Tohru, smiling and happy, nothing new there. Haru, blessedly White. Shigure and Ayame, talking like a couple of gossiping high school girls. Hatori, stoic and participating in conversation only when forced to.

Nothing was out of the ordinary. So, what was it? What was my instinct telling me I was missing?

"Stop playing with your food," Haru said, startling me when his knee hit mine.

I didn't say anything and instead shoved a forkful of whatever it was we were eating into my mouth. I didn't taste the food and dropped my fork when the buzzing in my head got louder. It wasn't distracting by any means, I could easily ignore it if I tried, but I didn't want to. Something in my gut was telling me to focus, the urgency of it was kind of alarming. It had been a long time since I'd felt this way.

Ayame's raucous laugh shattered into my thoughts and I ground my teeth together in annoyance. Predictably, Shigure's guffaws followed right after and then, surprisingly, I caught the quiet sound of Hatori chuckling. The succession of shared amusement caught my attention and I looked over to them.

The three sat at the head of the table to my left, each one a little squished in the small space yet somehow managing in the limited space. I didn't care that I was openly staring – none of them were paying me even the slightest bit of attention. There was nothing weird about the three of them, nothing that could warrant my sudden interest. Actually, it wasn't even interest, more like detached viewing.

And then it hit me. It had been right in front of me of the whole time and I'd been completely missing it.

Their words and laughter meant nothing; I tuned it out with the ease of flipping a kind of switch in my head. Had Ayame not be there, it would have been Shigure and Hatori sitting there, side by side, talking. But they didn't always talk, sometimes they just sat in silence – something that was less Shigure's style and more Hatori's. They always sat close together, sometimes even close enough so that their sides touched. I'd never thought much of it in the past, I'd thought it didn't matter.

But with Ayame there, things had changed and it suddenly mattered more than my next breath. It was like with that spark I'd noticed when Shigure and Hatori had first arrived; the air being lit and charged with a strange energy.

The three sat in a row, Shigure on the left, Ayame in the middle, and Hatori on the right. I watched them talk and studied the way they acted with each other. I watched and I saw. It was in the way Shigure would occasionally reach over and touch Ayame's hand or shoulder. It was there when Ayame would lean over and whisper something to Hatori, earning himself either a derogatory remark or an amused huff.

It took me a few minutes to realize what exactly I was looking at. And then it dawned on me in a trickle of slow understanding. It was intimacy. There was an affection between them, hidden behind lingering touches and softly spoken words. Silent messages were transferred when their eyes met, the cryptic looks meaning nothing to me, but everything to them.

The three of them... they were everything to each other. It had always been that way, too. They were more than just best friends that practically grew up together. I should have figured this out sooner. All the evidence was there, I'd just been too stupid and dense to pick up on it.

I thought back to the times Ayame had visited before, the last time being the day Yuki said he'd go to Ayame's store. Ayame had been near florescent with happiness and the first person he'd gone to was Shigure and the next thing he did was call Hatori. That wasn't just coincidence.

They were in love with each other, longed for each other, and that was why they couldn't be together other than these few and brief meetings.

It was easy to surmise what had happened. They'd gotten attached to each other and then Akito had found out. Unable to let them live happily together, Akito had broken them up. Shigure got his own house, Ayame was forced to leave resulting in his shop, and Hatori was condemned to stay in the main house – he was the doctor, so that actually made sense. And in an attempt to replace some of what he'd lost, Hatori had found and fallen in love with a woman. Everyone knew how that had turned out...

There would be no happiness for a Sohma, no matter what your rank was within the family. I'd known that and yet I'd still let myself slip into a state of delusion regarding my relationship with Yuki.

I couldn't look at them, couldn't bare to see the forced sense of happiness when all they probably wanted to do was cry. It was so fake, an illusion if there ever was one. A pathetic attempt to deal with a life they weren't happy with, I couldn't stand it.

Grabbing my plate, I went over and dumped the contents in the trash before placing the dish into the sink. I almost threw it there, but that would only make a mess that Tohru would have to take care of. She didn't deserve that no matter what kind of shitty mood I was in.

I escaped upstairs and stayed there, secluded in my room trying not to think. I did everything I could to distract myself, but none of it was any good. All I could think about was what I'd just found out and it was driving me up a wall. I mentally beat myself up for forty-five minutes before an opportunity arose where I could do something about how torn I was feeling.

On the floor below, Hatori was leaving. There was a chorus of goodbyes and then Shigure and Ayame were following him to the door. Leaving my room, I silently descended the steps and watched them from the safety of the staircase. They hugged and talked in low voices, their laughter now carrying an undertone of sadness that surpassed what would be found in a normal farewell.

I'd never known Hatori to linger, he was always one to be very brusque and to the point. But he was lingering now, grabbing on to any excuse to stick around for as long as he could. It took him an extra ten minutes to finally break off and even when he did, he looked back over his shoulder several times before making it to his car.

"I'll be in my office," Shigure said quietly, solemnly heading down the hall. There was a certain slump to his shoulders and his eyes were downcast, stuck to the ground in front of him. Hence why he didn't notice me when he passed the stairs.

"Be there in a minute," Ayame replied, his voice cheery.

Too cheery. A forced cheery that sounded natural. It was hard listening to that voice knowing how fake it was.

"It must be hard," I murmured to myself.

"Did you say something, Kyo?"

Ayame was far enough away that by human standards, he wouldn't have heard me. But he wasn't human, not entirely, and neither was I. Sometimes I forgot that.

I walked over to him, my gut feeling hollow. He watched my approach with a distant curiosity, a single one of his brows raising just enough to let me know that he was also a little confused.

"At least the three of you can still see each other every now and then," I said when I was standing next to him. I didn't look at him and instead stared at the road where Hatori's car had disappeared only moments before.

I heard Ayame inhale sharply – the sound so quiet I would have heard it had I not been part cat. I chanced a glance at him and found him staring at me, a stricken look on his face as he was caught between grief and attempting to play it off with nonchalance. At least he wasn't trying to make jokes or be overbearing with his forced cheerfulness.

I crossed my arms and leaned against the door frame, keeping my eyes on him. I'd never felt so small before just as I'd never realized how much bigger Ayame was compared to me. He was taller, his shoulders were more broad; he basically dwarfed me in every way. And, when I _really _looked at him, I found something I couldn't stand to see.

Ayame was miserable.

Beneath his everyday energetic and happy façade, he was living with an oppressive weight on his shoulders, one I'd never noticed before. A distant part of me had hoped what I'd seen at dinner was just a magnification of my over imaginative mind, but it wasn't and that truth was almost crushing.

"Will you answer me something?" I asked, bolstering myself.

"Sure."

I took a deep breath, gathering my courage. "Does it get easier? Over time, I mean."

I had no doubt he knew exactly what I was talking about – the loss of Shigure and Hatori from his life as anything but friends.

"I like to think it does," he replied, lowering his gaze. "Some days are better than others."

"But it never goes away, does it?"

"No."

In that single word, I heard years and years of suppressed grief and it went straight to my heart. I was no longer looking Ayame, but a future version of myself. The only difference being that he could still see Hatori and Shigure whereas Yuki and I would be separated and punished indefinitely. But then, maybe that would be a blessing in its own way. Maybe after Akito found out – because he _would_ find out eventually, something like this couldn't be kept from him – maybe it would be better never to see Yuki again.

If I were in Ayame's position, I would have gone insane. If I had to resign myself to watch Yuki from afar, watch him live his life without being able to touch him or even talk to him; that would destroy me. But if I couldn't see him, the pain might not be so overpowering. I wouldn't feel like the wound were being ripped open every time I saw him.

I felt a strong sense of respect toward Ayame and what he had to go through each and every day. Not only did my stomach feel hollow, but my heart did too. I didn't want to become what Ayame was, that terrified me.

"It will stay with you forever," Ayame whispered with the fatigue of a man who had to battle his sorrows repeatedly every day. He caught my gaze and the left side of his mouth twitched into a half smile that held no real emotion. "You're more perceptive than I ever gave you credit for."

"Misery begets misery," I replied and his smile vanished. "That's how that quote goes, right?"

His head tipped forward in what I took as a nod. "Will you promise me something?"

"I guess."

He took a deep breath. "Don't tell Yuki."

"Why not? I mean, I hadn't planned on it, I wouldn't know where to begin, but why wouldn't you want him to know?"

"I fear he wouldn't take to it well. He has hope that what he has with you will last, I can see that. I don't want to jeopardize that hope. It's a rather fragile thing, hope is."

Yeah, I could understand that.

He took a step away from me and a question I'd been trying to suppress came careening out of my mouth as I panicked. "Why haven't you told me to break it off with Yuki? Akito is going to find out, you _know _he is, so why aren't you trying to warn me off like any sane person would do? You said Yuki and I being together is a wonderful thing and it is, but not to Akito! When it happens –"

"Kyo."

That simple utterance of my name had me clamping my mouth shut as effectively as if I'd been punched. I never did know when to shut up, that was one lesson I was sure I'd never learn. And now I was panting, my fists curled into balls at my sides as I glared with emotions I didn't fully understand.

"Such passion," Ayame murmured, staring at me with eerily empathetic pale gold eyes. "Kyo, even if I told you to leave Yuki alone, you wouldn't be able to. You're a lot like me and we aren't the type to let go of things or people so easily. But there are things you can do that I could never dream of. You have the ability to fight in a way that's impossible for anyone else because you're _different_. I'm actually rather envious of you, Kyo."

_Ayame _envious of _me_? What the fuck? And what the hell was he talking about? In what way could I fight for Yuki that he couldn't do to fight for Shigure and Hatori?

Blinking at him with large eyes, I said, "I don't understand... what do you mean I'm different? I'm a Sohma, aren't I?"

"Of course you are," he replied. "You're very loud and your temper is about as short as your attention span. It would also seem that nothing can stop you when you're in one of your famous tirades. I would know, I've seen you do it. Now, excuse me, I mustn't keep my lovely Shigure waiting!"

I blinked and he was gone; that was all the time it took for the Snake to slither back into the house. I almost went after him to demand him to say something to me that actually made sense. But I didn't.

I could physically feel my mood darkening and that – obviously – wasn't good. I was almost worse than Black Haru when I was in a mood.

I just... I felt helpless. I knew there would be no happy ending for me and Yuki yet I was too selfish to give him up. I hated feeling so helpless, like a newborn kit that was blind and deaf and knew nothing of the world. It made me angry. I was angry at myself and furious for Ayame's sake. I was selfish and weak and I _hated _that there was nothing I could do about any of it.

Something cold and dark began to break loose within me and I hated it. I hated a lot of things then as old wounds broke open and filled me with a sense of loathing so strong I almost couldn't breathe. I was drowning in it and I couldn't escape.

I'd been forcefully holding myself together for too long and now I was beginning to break.

Before long, I would do more than break... I'd shatter.

_**Next chapter from Kyo's POV.**_

_**Feel free to PM me or something if you have questions.**_

_**Cheers!**_


	28. Chapter 28

**_Not dead yet!_**

**_Not beta-read. Ignore errors please._  
**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

**KYO**

When Ayame left me there in the hall, I didn't do anything, I just stood there. The feelings in my gut thrived and expanded, encompassing my whole body. My skin felt hot, almost feverish, and my hands became clammy with sweat. There was no real way to control myself as fear and anger collided within me, meshing to create a feeling I couldn't put a name to.

What I needed was a distraction and I needed one bad. The only thing I could think to do was go up to my room, wallow there, and possibly clean until the feelings passed. Oh, and I needed to fix my closet door since I'd broken it when it hadn't opened. Stupid door.

I knew it would be best to avoid people since I wasn't myself, so staying in my room was the best option. I didn't know what would happen if I was mentally pushed any further. I wasn't good with dealing with feelings, particularly my own, and to have such a wave of emotion crash down on me all at once, it was amazing that I hadn't broken anything yet.

Sighing, I put the back of my right hand to my forehead – fuck, I was burning up – and headed for the stairs. I made sure I was quiet so as not to draw attention to myself. I was sure Kagura would eventually come looking for me, but until then I needed to do something mindless and calm down before I interacted with anyone. Hell, I didn't even want to see Yuki. Well, no, that was false. I wanted to see him, but I didn't want him to see me like this. We'd pretty much seen the worst of each other already, what with the fighting and stuff, but this somehow felt different. _I _felt different – wrong and fucked up and totally not myself.

Entering my room, I sighed again and ran a hand through my hair. I grabbed a handful of the strands and pulled. It wasn't to rip my hair out or anything, I just wanted it to hurt a little. Physical pain made me feel a bit better, probably because I was used to it and that brought with it a sense of normalcy.

Abandoning that in favor of physical labor, I went to my closet and lifted one of the boxes from the top. If I cleaned out my closet, that would give me a legitimate excuse to stay in my room and fix the door. But when I was bringing the box down, I accidentally knocked off a smaller box beneath it and I cursed under my breath as its contents spilled out over the floor. Setting the box on my bed, I went back and started cleaning the stuff up. It wasn't anything important, just some old books, random papers from school when I was younger, things like that. Pretty sure it had been several years since I'd opened that particular box.

I began putting things back into the half-crumpled box and barely noticed when a couple small pieces of paper slipped out of one of the books. When I went for them though, I paused. There were only two and each one was about the size of a three by five note card. They were both pictures.

The first was of my mother.

And the second was the only picture I had of her and I together.

We were smiling and anyone would have thought that we were happy together, but we weren't. I remembered the day that picture had been taken and just looking at it made my stomach drop. She wasn't holding me, she wasn't even touching me. I was just standing in front of her, looking over my shoulder and smiling with a hopefulness that she might reach out to me.

She hadn't.

The picture of her by herself, I had sort of stolen that one. My mother was a beautiful woman and I was sure that she would still be beautiful if she were still alive. I'd stolen the picture because it caught her at her finest moment, right after she'd graduated college and before she'd gotten married. She was smiling and she looked so much like me it hurt.

My stomach dropped again and my hands stared to shake. This wasn't good... this was bad, so _bad_. I didn't – I couldn't – there was too much going on already, too many things filling my head – I wasn't prepared or ready to handle this, not now, not ever, really.

Fuck, it hurt. It hurt knowing that she was dead, that she'd willingly killed herself, that she'd been abused by her husband, it all fucking hurt. My dad had abused me, too, before he'd walked out on us, but she'd gotten the worst of it, I was sure. But no! I shouldn't be thinking about these things! I was too raw already, I didn't need more of this shit, I – fuck! When it rained, it fucking _poured_! It wasn't fair!

Picking up both pictures, I crumpled them up between my hands and took them downstairs to the kitchen. Thankfully, no one was in there because I was absolutely fuming as I threw the mangled photos into the trash. If I'd thrown them away in my room, I never would have been able to get rid of them. I would have eventually dug them out, flattened them, and put them back in a book or something to keep them save. It was stupid sentimentality, I didn't know why I'd even held onto them for so long as it was. I had no use for them, all they brought was pain.

But even throwing them away didn't help much. The pain still lingered and festered, increasing the agitation that seemed to permanently gnawed at my insides. My hands were still shaking and the room was suddenly too small, the whole fucking house was too small and it was stifling, I could barely breathe.

Feeling my anger continue to rise, I charged my way through the house, grabbed my shoes, and up to the roof where I went to the highest point on the ridge. There was ice and snow covering the rise where the two halves of the roof met, but I didn't care. I stepped up onto it and began pacing. There was an itching under my skin, like if I stopped moving for even a moment, I'd fall apart.

I couldn't afford to fall apart, I was stronger than that, right?

...right?

I wasn't so sure anymore. Not with how sick I felt, how angry and unsettled, and... how long had I been carrying around this much loathing? There was so much, I was drowning in it and the cold evening air wasn't helping as much as I'd wanted it to. It was helping, just not a lot. It was better than being trapped inside with the walls around me and the roof over my head.

I hated that no matter how much pacing I did, no matter where I was, how hard I tried, I wouldn't be able to escape my mother's face. It kept flashing before my eyes, ingraining itself in my memory and reminding me again and again that she wasn't around anymore. And it was my fault she was gone.

Mother... the worst part of the whole thing had been how she'd pretended that everything was normal and all right. How she hadn't ever let me go outside, how she told me she loved me and _didn't fucking mean it_. She just _said_ it, going through the motions, telling me that I was normal when we both knew I wasn't. And then she just abandoned me and for what? I knew I wasn't the perfect child by any means, but I wasn't terrible, either.

I just... why couldn't she love me? Was there something wrong with me? I'd tried so hard for her, but it had never been enough.

My right hand reflexively grabbed my left wrist, making sure the beads were still on. She'd always been doing that, checking to see if they'd moved. Checking and rechecking multiple times a day while never looking me in the eye, always avoiding my gaze. She could never just be straight with me, was always lying without even having the decency to look me in the eye when she did it.

I didn't know how long I stayed up on the roof, but I couldn't stay up there forever. My hands were veritable ice cubes and I didn't want to get sick, so I eventually made my way back inside.

I shouldn't have, though. I should have just stayed outside because right when I got back into the house, I ran into Shigure coming out of my room.

"What are you doing?" I snapped.

He held out the two photos I'd crumpled up, only he'd flattened them as best he could. "I found these and –"

"Leave it! I put them in the trash for a reason!"

Shigure blanched. "I'm sorry. I just thought you'd like –"

"You thought wrong," I interrupted.

"Kyo... are you okay? You look... flushed and you're acting strange."

"I'm. Fine."

The words came out as a low snarl and that startled me as much as it seemed to startle Shigure. Disgusted with myself, I pushed passed him, bypassing my room because it didn't offer the kind of exclusiveness I needed. But when I went downstairs and that was also a bad idea. With my emotions running so high, my senses were hyperactive and I picked up on every single fucking noise no matter how small. I could hear the others in the living room the most, their commotion loud and raucous, threatening to split my skull in half.

"Kyo, there you are. I was wondering where you'd gotten off to," Haru said from down the hall near the kitchen.

I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see Yuki appear next to Haru and that was when I knew I needed to get out of there. I shook my head and, without a word, left through the front door, revolted by my own cowardice.

And then I ran.

There was so much anger within me that I didn't feel the cold as I ran. Ran until my lungs burned and I couldn't breathe, ran to leave it all behind me only to have it keeping pace every step of the way. I couldn't run from it – from anything – which meant I'd have to face it and I just... wasn't ready. So, even though I was short of breath and it felt like my chest was on fire, I kept running, not even seeing where I was going.

When I finally slowed to a walk, I'd hoped to feel better, but I didn't. My fists remained clenched and my jaw clamped shut. I was almost afraid to open it for fear of what might come out if I did.

I hated a lot of things, then. Not just things but people, memories... myself.

Tohru had helped me a lot those few weeks ago. She'd accepted my true form and showed me that it didn't matter what I looked like, she'd still stay with me. But that didn't help with how I felt about myself and I was sure that that was the root of the whole mess. I'd been so scared she'd abandon me that I'd ended up hurting her and she'd still stayed with me. I didn't deserve her anymore than I deserved to have Yuki now.

Yuki... I really didn't know why he was with me. I was awkward and short tempered and he could easily find someone so much better than me. All I ever did was break things and hurt people. I really wasn't meant to be around or get along with others. And the real problem was that I couldn't let him go. Through the course of our relationship – and that was what it was, a goddamn _relationship _– I'd attached myself to him like some kind of leech. It wasn't fair to him that he had to deal with all my shit, all my problems and insecurities. Yet even though I knew that, I also knew that I wouldn't be able to just cut him out of my life.

Growling under my breath in frustration, I finally noticed where I was and cursed. I'd run all the way through the woods and into town. I didn't want other people to see me, or rather, I didn't want to see any other people. So, I ducked into a small, deserted alcove between buildings that had no outlet and took a deep breath. The cold air stung and my breath came out in a big white plume when I released it.

But it didn't help in making me feel better or in calming me down.

That itching under my skin seemed to intensify because I'd stopped moving, but there was really nowhere to go. If I kept wandering around and ran into someone, I was likely to lob them into a building for even looking at me. I didn't want to be seen, not by anyone. I just needed... I didn't know what I needed, but I needed _something_.

The alcove was short, so I went to the far wall and crouched against it. I wasn't sitting, just crouched, my legs bent and my arms folded on top of them. I rested my forehead on my arms and tried to just breathe and get a hold of myself. So much easier said than done.

Time passed and the moon steadily moved, the night passing without me really noticing. I was consumed by my thoughts and so didn't notice I wasn't alone anymore until the crunch of two pairs of feet was literally right in front of me. My skin crawled and I felt sick as I looked up and found both Yuki and Haru staring down at me, the looks on their faces making my stomach churn – not in a good way.

"What do you want?"

I sounded terrible, my voice low, raspy, and close to a cat snarl.

"We came to get you," Yuki ventured slowly. "You just ran out earlier and Shigure told us you were upset."

I snorted in self derision. "Forget it, just leave me alone."

"But, Kyo –"

"Just stop it!" I spat, standing up and ignoring the harsh protesting of my stiff legs.

Grabbing both the lapels of his jacket and the front of his shirt, I pushed him back against the wall and lifted him an inch or so off the ground. The hold wasn't hurting him and if it started to, I'd drop him. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone, hurting someone else wouldn't help. And standing there with Yuki in my gasp the way he was, I noticed that something had shifted between us and I was almost certain it was the raw force of my anger that moved it.

In the past, whenever Yuki and I got into fist fights, he would always win. In this moment, if we got into a physical fight, I would win... and Yuki knew it. The look on his face betrayed no fear, but there was a deep acknowledgment in his eyes, a flickering of surprise and something more humbling. He didn't struggle against me, didn't try to get away, he just waited.

"You really wanna know why I'm so fucked up? Why I can let myself go and not give a fuck what happens to me?" Yuki remained silent and Haru didn't move, both of them radiating a scent closely relating stunned curiosity. I could feel nothing but anger, but it wasn't directed at them.

It was directed solely at myself. It always had been, really, but I'd always repressed it so I couldn't feel it.

"I hate myself." The words rolled off my lips with surprising ease. It was the first time I'd ever voiced them aloud and hearing them didn't sting as much as I'd thought they would. "All those years you spent hating me were wasted because you could never hate me as much as I hate myself."

When I went on, my voice came out low and steady, none of the anger I feel detectable in the sound. "My father beat me before he walked out of my life forever and my mother threw herself in front of a train just so she wouldn't have to deal with me. I was there and I did nothing to stop her. I just stood there and didn't even call out to her! I hate –" I cut myself off and looked away, blood roaring in my ears.

Shaking, I shoved him off to the right and though he didn't fall, he stumbled, barely catching himself against a wall.

"Stop making me feel like I matter! What we have, Akito is going to find out about it, you _know_ he is! So just," my shoulders shook and deflated, "just _stop_."

I really didn't know what I wanted from him or what I was asking for, but I was crumbling and needed to get out of there. I whirled and began to storm off when I found a rather large obstacle in my way. Haru stood in front of me, expression showing off more confusion than I think he meant it to.

"Get out of my way," I hissed.

It took him several seconds, but eventually, he sidestepped just enough for me to get by him. He must have sensed the change in dynamics between Yuki and myself because he didn't challenge me. As I passed him, my left shoulder slammed into his with surprising force that caused him to take a couple steps back.

I walked an entire half mile before realizing where my feet were taking me. I didn't fight the urge and instead went with it, not caring how the confrontation turned out. I was sure it was a natural thing to go to Shishou, even though I really wasn't happy with him. Though, at the moment, I really wasn't happy with anything.

It took awhile to reach the dojo, more of the night passing into oblivion without my noticing. I still felt feverish and there was a light pounding in my head, the oncoming of a headache, no doubt. But I didn't stop even though my arms were freezing and had gone mostly numb a long time ago.

Marching up to Shishou's door, I pounded on it, not caring what time it was. It wasn't long before I heard movement inside and then the door opened, a soft light escaping from the room within.

"Kyo! What –" he stopped and stared for about a minute before opening the door wider and stepping aside. "Come in."

I entered without a word, but when he shut the door behind him, I fucking exploded, yelling things that I hadn't meant to say and hadn't even been thinking of until I'd seen him. I reamed into him for removing the bracelet, for being so kind, so understanding, for _caring_ – I was furious and snarling at him for all the wrong things. I knew he'd meant well when he took off my bracelet, but he'd really had no right to do that to me and I made sure he knew it. I yelled myself hoarse and he just stood there, silently letting me vent.

And when my voice broke and I couldn't speak any longer, he moved toward me and ruffled my hair. There was a small smile on his face, a comforting expression that told me without words that everything was going to be okay. I wasn't sure if that was true or not, but it eased the cluster of emotions warring inside of me and that just left me exhausted.

"I've missed you," Shishou said, his hand lowering to cup my cheek. "And I'm sorry."

I sagged a little and nodded to let him know I understood. He and I, we knew each other well enough to communicate without words sometimes and this was one of those times. I let him pull down into a chair and serve me tea even though I didn't drink it. He asked for me to tell him what I'd been up to during the past few weeks and I told him. There wasn't really much to say, but I told him anyway because he'd asked and because I really just... didn't know what else to do with myself.

"There is something you're not telling me," he said when I'd finished the short recounting.

_I'm dating the Rat, _my mind supplied immediately.

My own mind, a fucking traitor. Figured.

Actually, I didn't know if we could still be considered dating, not after my insane and near hysteric little outburst earlier.

"Kyo?"

I snapped my gaze to his and brought myself back to reality.

At length, I replied, "It's something I'm not ready to talk about yet. You can understand that, right?"

His eyes bored into mine like he can derive the answer from my expression alone. He didn't pry, just as I knew he wouldn't, but the set of his shoulders told me that he wanted to.

"Of course, you come to me whenever you're ready."

There was a short silence where we just sat with each other and then I stood. I'd stayed long enough, said more than I'd meant to and... it was just time for me to go. The night had pretty much spent itself and I needed to apologize to some people, people who deserved an explanation.

I turned, ready to go and make an easy exit. But when I'd turned to face the door of the dojo I became acutely aware of his presence behind me. This was the man who had practically raised me and helped pick of the pieces when both my biological parents had abandoned me. It was hard to walk away from him feeling that there was still some kind of gulf between us.

I still wasn't happy with him, but that wasn't the way I wanted to leave things.

Without a word I spun and hugged him in a way I hadn't since I was around twelve. I was never one for hugs and things and maybe it was being with Yuki that made me act otherwise, but I wrapped my arms around Shishou's waist and squeezed.

When I was younger I used to believe that Shishou could do anything. In my impressionable mind there was nothing he couldn't do and not even Akito could have any affect on that. In a way, Shishou had always been my savior; a good man who didn't have to help a wretch like me, but did it anyway despite the repercussions that might happen. As I felt his long arms wrap around me and attempt to crush me, I got that same feeling I got when I was a child. It was like I had been transported to a different time, maybe not a simpler one, but certainly one less complicated.

For that moment I was twelve years old again and, so long as I was with Shishou, the biggest thing I had to worry about was holding on as tight as I could.

"Thank you," I mumbled into his shoulder.

"You're very important to me, Kyo," he replied softly. "Don't ever forget that." We separated and left, rooted around farther in the room, and returned with a long sleeved shirt. "I don't have a jacket for you or anything, but this is yours, you left it here awhile back."

I thanked him again and put it on with a hasty goodbye, heading for the door. The fury had run its course and I could feel it seeping out through every pore of my body. In its wake was just numbness, an empty blackness that made my limbs heavy with something more than just fatigue. I went outside, my mind so far off that I couldn't even begin to figure out where I was. It was early morning – where had the night gone?

But right when I walked outside, everything stuttered to a stop. Yuki was sitting on the stairs, but when I went out, he stood. Guilt assailed me when I saw the conflicted look on his face. The desire to move toward me was obvious, but he held himself back and loitered at the base of the stairs, shifting his weight slowly from foot to foot in his indecision.

"Why aren't you wearing a coat?" he asked quietly, rubbing his hands together and locking his fingers in an almost nervous manner.

It was like he was walking on eggshells and I didn't want him to feel that way. I had been out of line earlier – _way_ out of line – and I needed to deal with the damaged I'd done.

Slowly walking down the stairs I replied, "I tend to do stupid things on a regular basis."

I wasn't worried about Shishou seeing anything, he'd probably gone back to his office or something. And even if he did see, that would be okay because I'd just come clean with him. I may not have been ready to _tell_ Shishou, but should he happen to find out by other means, I wouldn't deny him an explanation.

When I reached Yuki, I couldn't meet his gaze. I looked away from him and studied a nearby thicket, unconsciously tracking birds, squirrels, and other rodents with the honing ability of the feline blood running through my veins.

"I take it you talked to Shishou..."

I shrugged. "Sort of. I'm not so great at putting my feelings into words."

Yuki expelled a loud breath through his nose – a noise I processed as a huff. "No one is good at everything."

"I think Ayame and Shigure would say otherwise," I replied, trying to be humorous and not quite getting there.

Things fell silent between us and I began studying the thicket with more intensity to keep myself occupied. But not even an interloping bunny snuffling in plain sight at the base of a large oak could distract me from Yuki's presence. I could scent him – fresh lavender – and his breaths were loud in my ears – even and steady despite the rather large waves of anxiety flowing off him.

"You shouldn't be out here," I voiced after the silence began to suffocate me. "It's bad for your asthma."

I could almost feel him roll his eyes as he reprimanded, "This coming from the person who's outside without a coat."

I couldn't stare at the bunch of trees any longer, Yuki being so near made that impossible. Sliding my gaze toward him, I let out a breath as something inside of me came undone. He was watching me, eyes of amethyst large and almost glassy as they reflected the excess light coming off the snow. His long, pale fingers were in front of him twisting into knots to keep himself from reaching out to me.

I walked passed him, then stopped, waiting for him to join me. When he did, we walked in silence, neither wanting to breach the chasm between us. I hated that chasm, especially because I had had a large part in putting it there. So, it was up to me to fix it.

Grabbing his hand, I tugged him down a different path. We ended up at the bus station several minutes later and I let go of him so I could buy us two tickets. Yuki didn't question me and we didn't speak as we got on the bus and took our seats. We weren't touching, either, but that wasn't for lack of want. I wanted to reach out and take his hand or something, but there were other people there with us and that fact that they could see us made me nervous.

The ride took for what felt like forever, but of course it stopped eventually and we got off. I took the led and relied on my memory to get us back to one specific spot we'd visited. Yuki wasn't behind me, he was next to me, but I was a step ahead, hoping that my memory wouldn't let me down.

And it didn't. The scenery steadily morphed into things I recognized and my steps grew quicker with confidence. Up ahead, the willow trees were just as I remembered them and I couldn't have been more relieved. There was just something about going to a familiar place that helped ease the panic that tended to rise within me at the drop of a hat. And it was so much more relaxing knowing that we didn't have to worry about anyone seeing or recognizing us. That in itself was a tangible relief.

We made our way beneath the willows and where he went to one of the trees, I moved to stand closer to the pond. It was mostly frozen with just a few patches that had thawed enough for the moving water beneath to peek through. The long sleeved shirt I was wearing was enough to keep me warm when combined with my body heat, but my hands were starting get stiff with cold. I flexed them, wincing a little at the slight pain in the joints. I kept my eyes glued to the water, not really sure how to begin.

"Kyo?"

"I'm sorry," I said quietly before I lost all the courage it took to do so. And once I'd said it, it was easier for the full apology to come spilling out. "I was angry and I wasn't thinking. I can't... I can't tell you how sorry I am. I wasn't myself when I said some of the things I did. I was frustrated and scared and so goddamn angry, it was... frustrating. Then I took it out on the people who were around and that wasn't right or fair of me. I was a complete jerk and I'm sorry for that."

The look he gave me was pure relief. "I forgive you, of course I forgive you."

"I can't promise you that it'll never happen again. I'm kinda unstable..." I rushed on without thinking.

"I know and I understand."

"What about... Akito?"

Yuki sighed and shook his head. "I don't know. I – I wish I could tell you that everything will be all right, but I think we both know that that would be a lie. If and when Akito finds out, things will fall apart and it's going to be hard. But we'll be okay in the end, I think. Or... that's what I want to believe."

I swallowed to wet my dry throat. "I think I want to believe that, too."

He smiled a little, but that smile vanished as he asked, "Will you... could you – tell me about your mother?"

"Yes... just not right now."

There was silence that followed, one that wasn't weighed down with tension, but it _was_ thick somehow. The barrier between us had yet to really be breached and I didn't know what to do about it. Grinding my teeth, I rubbed my hands together, creating friction for warmth.

"Stupid," he chided, coming up to me and taking my hands. "If you were cold you should have said something."

He brought my hands to his face and breathed on them, the warm burst of air making me shiver. Then, I was blushing and flinched back a step. He didn't let go and followed me that step, his eyes on mine as he breathed again and then kissed my knuckles. And it was thanks to him that the barrier evaporated and it was just us again.

"Why do you always do that?"

I ducked my head and felt my face heat up all over again. "Do what?"

"You... you're still _shy_, aren't you? Like, _really _shy." He got his answer in the way I refused to look at him and the way my face was pretty much on fire. Yuki put my hands on his chest inside his jacket, then wrapped his arms around my waist, drawing me to him. "Why are you so nervous?" he asked, nudging his forehead into mine so I was forced to look at him. "It's just me."

"I know, I just... I can't help myself sometimes," I stammered back, averting my eyes despite his close proximity.

His head tipped to the right and the intensely contemplative look on his face had me worried. My feeling of apprehension intensified when he smiled at me moments later, that smile too sly for his own good.

It was with great trepidation that I asked, "What's with the look?"

"You'll just have to wait and see," he replied, smiling innocently before briefly kissing me on the mouth. "How is it you can just be in a long sleeved shirt and still be so warm? I don't get it."

I got a grip on myself and smirked, leaning into him a bit, my hands still taking refuge on his chest. "I don't know, because cats are... naturally warm?"

"And this one is short tempered," he teased, knocking his forehead lightly into mine for punctuation.

"Among other things," I added.

He frowned a little. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, everyone has their flaws. You... you've got a lot of hate in here," his right hand drifted up to tap at my chest, "you need to let it go. I'll do what I can to help you... if you just tell me what to do. I mean, I want to help, I just don't know how."

I honestly didn't know, either. But what I did know was that –

"Just keep doing what you're doing," I mumbled, looking away from him.

He tapped at my chest again. "Will you at least come to me the next time you feel you're staring to lose it?"

"Y-yeah. It's – a lot happened... all at once and I – I just really didn't handle it well."

A lot being the talk with Ayame, the weight of the unknown future with Yuki, my mother – it had all just come crashing down. But things were calm again, not necessarily fixed by any means, but calm.

"Let's sit for awhile before we head back," he said, backing up toward the tree without letting go of me. "We probably have an hour or two before anyone will really begin to wonder where we're at. And we've got Haru watching our back."

I flinched as I let him pull me along. "I should apologize to him, too."

"I actually don't think you need to. I'm sure he'd appreciate it if you did, but I think he understands for the most part."

"He's weird about those kinds of things," I grumble to myself, still feeling a little guilty about the way I'd snubbed him.

Yuki sat down with his back against the tree and pulled me down to sit between his legs, much the way we'd been sitting on his bed just the day before. It was probably just going on ten and all the activity had finally caught up with me as I slumped back against Yuki. For the next hour or so, he and I talked a little more and dozed a little too. He pulled his jacket forward to cover my sides so we were sharing body heat and his hands found and stayed intertwined with mine to ward off the cold.

It was... nice and... refreshing and I really didn't want to move when Yuki whispered in my ear that we should head back. It took some coaxing on his part, but I finally got up and helped him to his feet. The tickets I'd bought were round trip, so all we had to do was show our ticket stubs to be admitted onto the bus when we got back to the station. There were a few other people on the bus with us, but Yuki made it clear that he didn't care because he wouldn't let go of my hand. And that was pretty okay with me, more than okay.

However, he did let go after the bus ride when the house came into view. He shot me an apologetic half-smile, which I returned, and when we got to the house, things were strangely quiet. Yuki and I shared a glance, not speaking for fear of breaking the silence. I shrugged at him and he shook his head with a half-shrug of his own, then went to the kitchen. I stayed in the hall, debating on whether or not to go upstairs and take a shower or something when –

"Welcome home, Kyonkichi!"

I didn't just startle, I yowled and flew into the air, embarrassingly close to hissing and sputtering.

"Ayame! What the fuck?" I all but spat when my feet hit the floor. "And where did you even come from?"

"Language, language!" Ayame chastised, flapping his right hand. "I came from Shigure's office. Just got done saying goodbye, actually."

"Goodbye?" I echoed, my body getting that same sickening hollow feeling from before.

He nodded. "Yes, it's time I headed out. Wait for me on the porch, would you? I have to say goodbye to my wonderful, darling little brother."

I snorted and headed for the porch, not bothering with my jacket since I'd been neglecting it for so long anyway. I didn't put my shoes on, either. What was the point? I'd just be taking them right back off. So, I stood out on the porch and waited, smirking at the noises coming from inside. I almost felt bad for Yuki, but not really. Ayame loved him and Yuki was lucky to have that.

Some odd minutes later, Ayame came out grinning even though I knew he'd just been verbally bashed. His relationship with Yuki, I was sure I'd never fully understand it, but they loved each other in their own ways.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, surprised that no one had come out of the woodwork yet.

"Haru took them back to the main house. I don't think any of them, besides Haru, knew that you'd left. Haru told them you were hiding after your little bout with Shigure."

"Ah... yeah, I'd been wondering..."

"Now, the reason I asked you out here – do you remember what you said to me on the porch about misery?" I nodded and he smiled something warm and affectionate. "You forgot the rest of it. It goes: Misery begets misery just as happiness begets happiness and love begets love. If you want to keep something, Kyo, you'll have to fight for it."

As he walked passed me, he clamped a gentle hand on my shoulder and lightly squeezed. That single gesture was infused with enough comfort and strength to give me courage. The hollow feelings seemed to fill and I felt whole again, myself once more.

"I don't suppose you'll consider trying on some of my outfits, would you? I'm sure Yuki would love it."

And then he went and ruined everything.

"Fuck. No.

"But –"

"Kiss my ass."

He held his hands up and chuckled. "All right, all right, but if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

"Yeah... don't hold your breath."

"It was nice talking to you, Kyo. I'd like to get to know you better. For Yuki's sake, of course."

"Of course," I agreed, leering at him.

But as he walked away, he threw a genuine smile over his shoulder and I couldn't help but smile back. I wanted to thank him, but there was no way I could find the right words. So, I just smiled and waved even though my feet and hands were almost numb.

I eventually walked back inside and ran into Yuki as he was heading toward the stairs. He smiled at me and after a brief pause, he turned his back on the stairs and came over to me. It wasn't at all surprising how bad I wanted him to kiss me and my stomach swooped and flipped over when he did just that.

It was only meant to be a chaste kiss and it was, until I put my arms around his neck and nipped playfully at his bottom lip. He huffed a laugh and grabbed my hips, pushing me a step or two until my back hit the wall with a soft _thud_. I stuck my cold hands under the collar of his shirt and had to break the kiss to laugh when he jolted, hissing something unintelligible under his breath.

Yuki lightly shoved me into the wall for that and then we were kissing again, everything around me melting away until it was just Yuki. His warm body pressed to mine, my arms around him, his around me. I suddenly didn't feel so shy anymore. It was stupid to waist time being so cautious and skittish. This was Yuki and I trusted him – amazingly enough, I truly did. I wanted to take him upstairs and just be with him. We didn't even have to do anything, just spend time together.

Because honestly, I didn't know how much time we had.

That thought spurred me to press more insistently against him, our tongue twining, my hands grappling at the warm skin on his back. My eyes had slid shut and I was pretty sure his had too, not that it mattered. I was drowning in him, his scent of lavender, his heat, his hands, the frantic beat of his heart against my chest, and I wanted _more._ I wanted the clothes gone so I could feel his smooth, porcelain skin, touch it with my fingertips and taste it. I wanted –

"O-oh!"

We broke apart at the semi-loud exclamation and my eyes widened to a size I never would have thought possible. Tohru was standing in the middle of the staircase, foot raised mid-step. Her mouth was open and her face was bright red, her eyes huge with a mixture of utter shock and disbelief.

Before Yuki or I could say anything, she turned and ran back up the stairs, the shut of her door echoing seconds later.

**To Be Continued**


End file.
